Falling into the Abyss

The space seemed to be tilted, and the road was completely unproportionate, rotating and twisting in strange directions. On both sides were the mountain-like tall, pointed buildings, which seemed to laugh at the smallness of everything. Ethan felt that his body was very heavy, as though he was carrying something heavy behind him. He tried his best to move and looked back but saw countless intertwining tentacles crowding together, wriggling along with him like a twisted python. The organs on the front were akin to terrifying mouths and kept opening and closing. He lifted his hand and saw that his nails were black and sharp and that the black lines wound across his arms and onto his bare body, twisting into some kind of tattoo-like totem in the shape of a sharp horn. The black lines were more concentrated below his thighs, causing his skin to curl up into black scales, and his feet were no longer feet. His ankles had grown very long and twisted, and the soles of his feet became hoofs, like those of a goat.

In the dream, Ethan seemed very used to his body having this appearance, and he did not feel afraid or surprised. He trampled on the pieces of meat and mucous membrane covering the ground and trudged wholeheartedly towards the pyramid-shaped temple at the end of the long road. Around him, many giant worms were crawling around the buildings, and eccentric green frogmen were worshiping on both sides of the road. There were even the creatures with their legs pointing in opposite directions and grape-like lumps growing on them that he had seen in the abandoned subway stations crawling along the rough stones steps in groups, and many indescribable fleshy objects were overflowing from the “window”-shaped openings of the buildings. The deafening sound of drums and flutes resounded in the sky with absolutely no rhythm. In the distance, half of the sky was covered by the Goddess of Fertility, who was waving her thousands of arms happily, giving birth to one deformed life after another in the endless dark sea.

There was no doubt that this was a celebration, and the corrupt and chaotic creatures were cheering. They were cheering in his direction.

Ethan saw the man in black in the middle of the road again. Today, he was still “dressed” wearing Tanisiel’s face. However, he was wearing a gorgeous golden robe of a Pharaoh, and he stood as tall and beautiful as a god, far above the grotesque creatures. He held out a hand to Ethan with a smile of approval.

“You’re already so close, son. The core of all things is waiting for you in the temple in the center of the universe. You will become the noblest sacrifice I offer to the Lord.”

Ethan stood in front of him, and he only came up to the black Tanisiel’s waist. He looked up at the relentingly beautiful, hollow eyes that were without irises.

He suddenly grew angry and yelled, “I’m not a sacrifice! I don’t know you either! You’re not Tanisiel! Let me go back!”

“No, you know me. Your memory of me is hidden in every cell of your body. The Goddess of Fertility’s purification allowed your body to remember me earlier than your soul remembered me or this great kingdom. You belong here.”

His words made Ethan very confused, and he felt a kind of inexplicable disgust and anger. He felt that the man in front of him would destroy him, so he raised the thousands of tentacles behind him and waved them, lifting up the bloody sand. He snapped, “My name is Ethan Eldridge. I don’t belong here!”

Instead of being frightened by him, the man in black smiled lovingly and reached for his head. “In your universe, you are just a cowardly, dark, and boring Beta that has no special characteristics. Your mother is now dead, and your father hates you, or rather, he is not your father at all. You’re penniless. Everyone knows you’re a dangerous fugitive. No one likes you. No one will miss you even if you die, except those who think you are useful. Your life will never get better, and you will eventually die alone in the gutter like a mouse, and likely, no one will cry after your death.”

His cruel words were like sharp needles piercing into Ethan’s heart. He spoke blandly as if he was reading a book, but each and every word he said was nothing but the truth. Ethan wanted to shut him up, but his own disgusting face with black lines was reflected in his empty eyes and made him unable to retort.

What was most depressing was that everything he said was right.

Every child would once think that they would grow up to be a hero. When Ethan was a child, he never thought that his future would be so lowly and hopeless.

As if bewitched, Ethan heard himself ask in a dry, mechanical voice, “What should I accept? What do you want me to accept?”

“Let your soul be baptized by Azathoth and become his incarnation in the world!”

.

Ethan sucked in a breath of cold air, and his closed eyes snapped open. His whole body was as stiff as wood, completely immobile. Tanisiel, who was resting by the bed, was awakened by his twitching and sat up to check his condition.

“Ethan? Are you awake?”

Tanisiel whispered, but Ethan’s eyes were fixed on the top of the bed. His mouth was slightly open, but his throat was choking on something. Tanisiel shook his shoulder to wake him up. When he found that that had no effect, he opened his third eye and tried to force Ethan to wake up using his mental strength.

At that moment, the images in Ethan’s brain rushed into his mind. The ground was full of internal organs and pieces of meat, and the humanoid monster in front of him was more than ten stories high. In the place where its face should be, a blood-red tentacle grew up and waved in the air.

That was……the messenger of the main god he entrusted his faith to, the core of the universe and Azathoth’s messenger—Nyarlathotep’s true body……

For a moment, Tanisiel felt that he was being watched and could not move. His forehead was sweating, and he felt that the faceless god was gazing through his fragile soul with an evil smile on its non-existent mouth.

“Tanisiel, servant of the God of Imbecility, if you are as loyal as you say, then why are you delaying the process?”

Sharp noises resounded within Tanisiel’s mind. He felt a sharp pain in his throat and painfully breathed out, rose-colored blood flowing out from his nose and ears. It was not the first time he had endured the invasion of a consciousness beyond what a normal person could bear. However, he still couldn’t get used to the pain, which felt like his brain was about to burst.

“It’s not time yet……” Tanisiel struggled to convince the ancient evil god, but he knew that he was in a precarious situation.

“Are you trying to deceive the origin of trickery? My poor lamb.” Nyarlathotep’s consciousness laughed again, once again bursting into Tanisiel’s soul and rampaging through his brain arrogantly. Tanisiel bit his lips so hard that he bled. As he responded in his mind, he also began to bleed from his eyes. “No! Great Crawling Chaos, please do not question my determination! But now is not the best time, as he is not ready. If we do it now, it’d only hurt him!”

“Is he not ready? Or are you not ready……” The tentacle on top of the huge monster suddenly extended towards him and wrapped around his throat. The skin that was touched felt as though it was wrapped with red hot iron. Tanisiel let out a scream, and his beautiful face twisted in pain. However, the monster still asked in his mind with a smile, “Or, did you happen to fall due to some shallow and boring feelings?”

Before Tanisiel could answer, the illusions disappeared. Tanisiel almost collapsed beside Ethan, his neck burning with pain and his face covered with blood.

Ethan seemed to be waking up, and his line of sight gradually focused. Tanisiel quickly wiped the blood off his face with his sleeve and gently pushed Ethan’s sweat-covered hair off his forehead. He looked at his green eyes, which had focused on his face.

The two were silent for a moment. Tanisiel didn’t know what kind of appearance Nyarlathotep had in Ethan’s dreamscape.

“What’s the matter with me?” Ethan asked.

“There was too much force of Disorder in your body, so your body began to collapse. If I didn’t come back in time to inject you with the fluid containing the God of Order’s egg, you might have died just now.” Tanisiel stared at Ethan sternly. “Why didn’t you take the medicine on time?”

Ethan coughed twice and then said, “You said that the medicine was for soothing purposes, so I thought it wasn’t that serious……”

Tanisiel’s eyes seemed to reveal a hint of anger, and Ethan noticed that the priest’s face was not normal, and……was that blood under his nose?

“If you want to live longer, then listen to me in the future!” The voice of the priest was more severe and powerful than usual. Ethan was not frightened, and he laughed and coaxed, “Okay, I promise I will be obedient in the future.”

“That’s good.” Tanisiel turned and grabbed a cup of amber liquid from the cabinet beside the bed. “Drink it.”

Ethan obediently gulped down the contents of the glass and watched as the priest took the empty cup and put it back on the tray. Then, he stood up and tucked him in.

“How’s Samuel?” Ethan asked.

“He’s fine. Terry Dawes is taking care of him. His estrus is almost over.”

“Ah, that’s good.”

“Don’t worry about him and look after yourself first. Samuel is not a minor. He knows how to take care of himself.” Tanisiel sighed, and his tone slightly softened. “Are you hungry? I’ll ask the kitchen to prepare something for you?”

Ethan realized at this time that he really felt a little hungry. It was strange. It seemed that he had rarely felt hungry recently, and the lingering fatigue he felt had been reduced a whole lot. He grinned and said sheepishly, “A little bit.”

“Wait a minute, I’ll call someone,” Tanisiel said before leaving.

As soon as the door closed, Ethan’s expression on the bed changed slightly. His smile disappeared, and his expression dimmed. He remembered the contents of the dream because it was so real.

He remembered what he had become. If Tanisiel didn’t help him, would he have ended up like that? And he increasingly felt the man in black was becoming stranger.

Why did he always claim that he knew him? And why did he vaguely feel as though he was familiar with him? Who the hell was he?

Why did he know everything about himself? He even knew that his mother had died, which was something even he could not be entirely sure of. And he knew that his father was not his real father, which was something he could not believe. Was all this really just his subconscious, or did he enter into a dream created by a more powerful consciousness?

No……the man in black was not only the messenger of the core of the universe but also something more important that he couldn’t remember……

The man in black……the faceless god……walking alone in this universe……with a devil-like smile, he tempted and deceived humankind.

Were his words the truth, or was he deceiving him? Hadn’t he spoken the truth?

In this universe, Ethan was nothing but a worm in a sewer. Only there could he be special……

Just accept it…… He could have everything, including Tanisiel……

Ethan looked down at his hands. He recalled that his nails had turned black previously, but now, they looked normal again. He looked around and realized the feeling of being watched was gone. He listened carefully but didn’t hear the sound of breathing. It seemed that everything was normal except for the strange layout of the room.

However, he began to wonder what could be considered normal and true. Was what he saw now the truth, or was what he felt before he fainted the truth?