Even Zombies Have Fandoms

Chapter 73

“Really…?”

Muyoung’s eyes sparkled at Seokjae’s denial. Seokjae, focusing all his attention on Muyoung’s reaction, hunched his large body and rested his head on Muyoung’s shoulder. He also made sure to exude an air of dejection.

“I didn’t know you were thinking that way. I’m sorry if I made you misunderstand. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t get hurt.”

“B-But that’s also what I…”

As Seokjae moved his body, which had been slightly apart, close against him, Muyoung stiffened and tensed up. But as soon as he had something to say, he quickly regained his composure and tried to argue back. While Seokjae was glad that Muyoung was getting used to physical contact with him, it was inconvenient that he recovered so quickly. So Seokjae nuzzled his head against Muyoung’s nape, as if throwing a tantrum.

“I like you, Muyoung.”

“W-What?”

Muyoung lost his composure again at this bombshell statement that came with Seokjae’s cute gesture, stammering and forgetting how to speak.

“Even though I know you can do many things, worrying is a separate matter. I can’t just stop it at will. But if you really dislike it… Even if it’s very hard and painful, I’ll try to hold back and restrain myself. But… could you not tell me to stop completely?”

Seizing this opportunity, Seokjae added more pathos with a slightly trembling voice to appeal to Muyoung’s emotions as much as possible. In the midst of this, his stubbornness was revealed in that he said he would “try” to restrain himself, indicating he had no intention of changing.

Of course, this was a tiny flaw that would go unnoticed unless one was not weak to beautiful people, lacked empathy, was devoid of compassion, and was as cold and rational as a robot, or was someone well-versed in scams.

“Hyung…”

Muyoung was completely at the opposite end of the spectrum in all these aspects. So it was only natural that Seokjae’s ploy worked perfectly on him.

Muyoung couldn’t hide his touched expression. He was so surprised by Seokjae’s words that he liked him that he almost stopped breathing, but the shock lasted only for a moment. Even though he was a lifelong single with no dating experience, he wasn’t foolish enough to misunderstand that “I like you” had a romantic meaning.

‘He must mean he likes me as one person to another.’

There was no reason for someone like Seokjae to like someone of the same gender, let alone himself. In other words, the important point in his words was not “Tae Seokjae likes Kang Muyoung” but “Tae Seokjae can’t help but worry about Kang Muyoung.”

‘Right, come to think of it, there’s no way hyung would be like that.’

Even when he knew Muyoung had lied, Seokjae had worried first about the situation where the children might doubt him, rather than anything else. If someone like that tried to stop him from doing something, wouldn’t it be appropriate to see it as an action stemming from concern for the other person, not for himself?

The Seokjae that Muyoung knew was someone who, despite having experienced such shocking events that he spent countless nights in nightmares, tried to overcome that trauma through goodwill. So there was no way he would excessively restrict others’ actions based on efficiency.

It would be more fitting for him to be prepared to clean up any accidents that might occur. Even in this case, although everyone’s safety was ultimately intertwined, the foundation must undoubtedly be his desire for Muyoung not to get hurt.

‘Gwanghun said that a fan should believe their favorite even if they said they were making soybean paste with red beans. I doubted hyung’s sincerity. Maybe I don’t deserve to be a fan…’

Even though their relationship definition had to change from when their only connection was the sticky notes to now when they had become friends, he made the mistake of being certain that Seokjae didn’t trust him by comparing his attitude from before to now.

‘Even though my feelings of liking hyung have grown even more than before.’

He had completely overlooked that this applied to Seokjae as well.

‘Gasp. Then… have I become a more precious existence to hyung?’

This newly realized fact made him feel an irrational impulse to run outside and confront the zombies. It felt like that was the only way he could handle his racing heart.

In fact, from Seokjae’s attitude so far, he knew that Seokjae saw him as a close and comfortable companion.

But he had subconsciously thought that just because they were close, just because they had become friends, Seokjae wouldn’t care for him specially. Because Seokjae was a kind and good person.

Even if he took care of him and worried about him, it’s a bit unfair to the other two, but Muyoung didn’t expect Seokjae to treat him with as much care and concern as Muyoung felt for Seokjae compared to Kyungho and Junwoo. It was a contradictory feeling to when he was happy that they were closer than just close younger brothers when Seokjae had suggested being friends.

Nevertheless, Muyoung had unconsciously not thought that “Kang Muyoung” could become a special individual to “Tae Seokjae”. There was no such premise to begin with.

‘Is it because I started by distinguishing our relationship as favorite and fan from the beginning?’

But now he felt that line was blurring. Strangely, it felt like he was facing the person “Tae Seokjae”, not “Seokjae hyung”, for the first time.

‘He felt like a fantasy-like existence even when he was beside me, but suddenly he’s become real…’

Muyoung became so lost in thought about the sudden upheaval in his heart that he forgot they were in the middle of a conversation.

Seokjae, with his cheek against Muyoung’s shoulder, continuously watched Muyoung’s contemplative expression without averting his gaze once. The moment Muyoung’s eyes had glazed over seconds ago, Seokjae, judging that Muyoung wouldn’t notice whatever expression he made, had mercilessly contorted his deep-set eyes.

‘He’s thinking about something else while being so close to me.’

Clearly, Muyoung’s reaction to his heartfelt acting wasn’t bad. No, it could even be said to be very good. So the answer that should have come next was naturally an affirmative like “Yes” or “I will.”

As if to tease Seokjae, who was satisfied thinking that even if he intervened more in the future, there would be less resistance after saying all this, Muyoung suddenly made a guilty expression. Then, as if starting a vow of silence, he tightly closed his small lips.

‘What on earth is he thinking to make his expressions change so dramatically.’

At first, Seokjae was annoyed that Muyoung had the leisure to think about other things despite being so close he could feel his breath, but watching his various changing expressions turned out to be unexpectedly entertaining.

So Seokjae ended up staring at Muyoung’s face with a somewhat obsessive gaze, like a bear watching fish in a stream.

If there had been any negative emotions, he might have felt anxious, wondering if Muyoung was tired of his overprotectiveness. But Muyoung’s face had gone from initial guilt through joy and shyness to confusion, so he decided to just wait and see. He didn’t know what Muyoung was thinking, but he had a hunch it would be beneficial to him.

And his animal-like intuition was spot on. Muyoung was in the midst of pondering, feeling like there had been an irreversible change in their relationship, but unable to pinpoint exactly what it was.

‘Do I want to stop being a fan?’

He had heard that some people lose interest and stop being fans when they see the reality of an idol they liked and their fantasy is shattered.

‘No, that’s not quite what I mean…’

Roll. Wanting to check his own feelings, Muyoung rolled his eyes towards the weight he felt on his shoulder.

“Done thinking?”

As if he had been waiting for this, Seokjae’s obsidian-like black and deep eyes sparkled, and Muyoung immediately shook his head.

‘I definitely don’t want to stop being a fan.’

Even though he had only looked for a moment, he still liked Seokjae. He liked the heart-fluttering sensation he felt when looking at him all this time, and he didn’t want to give it up in the future.

“Really…”

Muyoung unconsciously nodded while in the middle of his self-questioning. Thinking this was an answer to his question, Seokjae twisted his lips crookedly.

“Is whether I can worry about you such a difficult question that it needs this much contemplation?”

It’s natural for lips to move when speaking, but for some reason, Muyoung found it hard to take his eyes off those moving lips. Being so close between his neck and shoulder, the vibrations felt when Seokjae spoke were ticklish.

His neck gradually shrank at the strangely thrilling sensation, and he finally realized the difference between “Seokjae hyung” and “Tae Seokjae.”

‘Shouldn’t I stop having such indecent thoughts now?!’

Admiring the body of the object of one’s fandom and sometimes wanting to touch it can be excused as excessive fan enthusiasm. But isn’t it rude to do this to a friend, and even at inappropriate times?

Then, in a situation where one’s favorite has become a friend, what would be the right way to behave?

It was a consideration that came far too late, but he couldn’t help it, feeling as if he had just received permission to move to the next stage now that he knew how Seokjae thought of him. Now that Seokjae had properly stepped from the realm of “favorite” into “friend.”

‘Hyung would be creeped out if he knew what I was thinking.’

He wanted to admire his body, and even wanted to kiss his cheek. If Seokjae found out about this, he would no longer treat him as a friend.

‘Thinking about something else again.’

Like catching a mouse while backing up like a cow, Muyoung’s prediction wasn’t entirely wrong. If Seokjae knew that Muyoung had such thoughts, he would have immediately crossed the line of friendship from that day on, thoroughly devouring him.

‘I’m already dying to bite and suck. Should I leave a mark on his neck under the pretense of making him come to his senses…’

Seokjae decided to ask once more, and if there was still no answer, he would act on his impulses. He moved his lips.

“Muyoung, are you still thinking?”

It was a smaller and quicker question than before, hoping for no answer.

Fortunately for Muyoung, and unfortunately for Seokjae, Muyoung had just reached a conclusion about how to treat him from now on, right at that moment.

‘From now on, my favorite is going to be my baby!’