Even Today, the Ranker Dreams of Retirement

‘In all my years, I’ve never encountered someone quite like this.’

Glitch leaned his arms on the railing, observing Hyun Habin intently.

Having traveled and changed his appearance countless times, he had met quite a few people who either disrespected him or acted overly familiar.

Until now, the reactions of those who knew his identity had usually fallen into three categories:

‘Leader of evil beings! Taste my blade!’

Hostility.

‘What? Demon God? You? Don’t lie!’

Disbelief.

‘Please spare me!’

‘Oh my! To think the legendary Demon God would grace such a humble place!’

Trembling with fear and flattery.

Most reactions fell into the third category.

Flattery and trembling in fear were the most common. Even if there were those who didn’t react this way, a simple display of power would take care of everything.

So he had expected this one to react similarly.

Either falling to their knees in shock or recklessly charging at him.

He had thought they would be quite flustered, having been caught impersonating him…

‘What is this situation?’

Slurp. Chomp chomp.

Glitch rested his chin on his hand, watching Hyun Habin expertly slurp up her noodles.

She was completely focused on her meal, showing no signs of tension despite him watching her from right in front of her.

Swish swish.

Along with her quick and lively chopstick movements, her sparkling eyes even hinted at a small sense of happiness.

Slurp!

“…Ah, this is the taste!”

Habin smiled contentedly after cleanly finishing even the broth.

‘This human is genuinely enjoying her meal.’

It didn’t seem like she was putting on an act.

To think she could eat with him right in front of her?

In his countless years of life, he could confidently say this reaction was truly a first.

He asked Habin with an intrigued expression:

“What does it taste like that you’re eating it so deliciously?”

At his words, Habin opened her eyes wide and asked back:

“Gasp, senior? Don’t tell me you’re craving your junior’s snack?”

“……”

“Actually, I didn’t even get to eat lunch properly today. Humanely speaking, you should let me have this.”

Hyun Habin hugged her cup noodles preciously.

“……”

‘Would you look at that?’

Glitch, who had been smiling leisurely until now, narrowed his eyes at this sight.

Although he had referred to her as a ‘junior’ first, her attitude of consistently calling him ‘senior’ without any hesitation was quite interesting. This human had some unexpectedly amusing aspects.

‘How much of this is calculated behavior?’

The composure to calmly eat in the face of his pressure, the glib way she deflected his conversation without any signs of being flustered.

In his long experience, such people usually fell into two categories:

Either they were truly oblivious fools with oversized livers.

Or…

‘They’re only pretending to be fools, but are actually making an all-or-nothing move while fully aware of everything.’

Glitch’s smile deepened as if gauging something. If this ‘junior’ was the former, it would be a bit disappointing…

But if it was the latter.

There could be no more desirable talent.

“…I’m just joking, senior!”

It was at that moment. Hyun Habin opened her mouth. Had she finally raised the white flag in response to Glitch’s piercing gaze that had been fixed on her?

“I was too rude, wasn’t I? Right. I was rude, very rude. Eating ramen when the senior has come…”

It seems she’s about to get to the main point now. Glitch gestured with his eyes as if telling her to speak. Seemingly reading his gaze, Hyun Habin let out a small sigh and continued:

“I’ll give you some too, senior.”

“What?”

“I ate too much by myself in front of someone who’s hungry, didn’t I?”

Hyun Habin pulled out a second cup of instant noodles from her inventory and handed it over. She shrugged her shoulders.

“You were curious about the taste, right? Then why don’t you take this chance to experience the world of K-ramen?”

There’s no spring potato… ah, no, cup noodles in the Demon Realm, right?

The red cup noodles suddenly thrust forward.

This one, like the previous, had been placed in the inventory already cooked, so it was perfectly ready to eat.

Steam was rising from between the lid. The spicy, savory aroma unique to ramen wafted through the air.

Habin thought to herself:

‘They said demons like the color red. I’m not sure if the same applies to the Demon God, but this might be quite a nice gift? Maybe I should have given it earlier?’

Habin had also felt Glitch’s gaze constantly watching her while she ate.

‘Maybe he was hungry too, and I ate all by myself.’

In fact, even if you’re not hungry, ramen always makes people hungry. It’s a food that inevitably makes you want to eat along when someone’s eating it next to you.

Habin suddenly recalled her part-time job at an internet cafe. When one person ordered ramen at the internet cafe, people around them would smell it and order ramen one after another. The stream of ramen orders coming in was really killer.

‘Thinking about it that way, I did wrong. How hungry must he have been watching me?’

Habin handed over the cup noodles again with a sympathetic look.

“Senior. You know that ramen cooked by someone else always tastes the best, right?”

“……”

“Here. Quick, eat it before it gets soggy.”

‘Didn’t she just seriously say it shouldn’t get soggy earlier.’

Is that really so important?

At Habin’s urging, Glitch took the cup noodles with a snap. Despite the quick motion, not a drop of broth spilled. As he carefully examined the cup noodles, he noticed something and asked:

“What’s this?”

Glitch pointed at the white wooden chopsticks inserted into the cup noodle lid.

“Ah! Give me that for a second.”

Snap!

Habin cleanly split the chopsticks and handed them back to him.

Glitch looked back and forth between the chopsticks Habin had given him and his own with a pensive expression.

Two wooden sticks, huh.

He had heard that some countries among humans use such tools to eat food.

But he had never actually used them himself.

“Ah, are there no chopsticks here? Do you want to watch me and copy?”

Habin asked, perhaps because Glitch had been staring at the wooden chopsticks for too long. Glitch frowned.

“I can do it myself.”

What do you take your senior for.

Despite appearances, he was the Demon God who had lived countless years. He could easily adapt to such cultural practices.

Somehow feeling competitive, the Demon God clumsily tried to imitate the chopstick technique.

Swish…

A few strands of noodles, soaked in red broth, clung to the chopsticks and rose.

‘Well, let’s see what it tastes like.’

He finally put the springy noodles into his mouth.

The chewy noodles. The taste of the warm, savory broth flowing between them-!

“Gack!”

Cough, cough. Hack!

“What kind of taste is this, kuhep!”

The spicy heat that fiercely struck his mouth!

Glitch, who had been coughing for a while, wiped his slightly teary eyes and asked in an incredulous voice:

“You… cough! Is it your hobby to eat poison?”

“Huh?”

And so it was.

The Demon God was a spice wimp.

◆◇◆◇◆

[You have made the Demon God cry for the first time!]

[You have achieved an impossible feat!]

[You are not a player. You do not gain experience.]

[You have no level. Your level does not increase.]

[You obtain the title ‘One Who Made the Demon God Cry’!]

Ding ding.

Why give a title for something like this?

Ignoring the unhelpful notification windows, Habin patted the Demon God’s back with a sympathetic expression.

Pat pat.

“Is it still spicy?”

“Cough.”

“Sigh… You’re quite a high-maintenance senior. Here, have some Coolpis.”

Habin pulled out a Coolpis from her inventory and handed it over. Anyone watching might be exasperated, thinking ‘Why are you carrying something like Coolpis in your precious inventory!’, but to Habin, her inventory was simply serving as a handy food storage.

Habin neatly inserted a straw into the paper pack and handed it to the Demon God with an expression of doing him a favor.

“Here you go.”

“…This isn’t poison too, is it?”

“Oh, come on. It’s not poison, so drink it quickly! This will make you feel better, you know?”

“……”

“You called me your junior. Can’t you trust your heaven-sent junior?”

“…Shouldn’t that be heaven-sent senior?”

Glitch, not giving an inch, sucked on the drink with a slurp.

The spiciness disappeared cleanly in one sip! And the refreshing peach flavor that spread after!

“Hmm, this is quite nice.”

Seeing the Demon God regain his characteristic smirk, apparently quite pleased with the drink, Habin shook her head.

‘Sheesh. Who would have thought the Demon God would be a spice wimp.’

It would have been a disaster if I had given him the extra spicy chicken stir-fry noodles.

I nearly earned the infamy of poisoning(?) the Demon God!

“This is really unexpected. I thought demons and Demon Gods would like mala flavor or lava flavor, but to think you can’t even handle Shin Ramyun.”

“Lava flavor? Does my junior eat lava too?”

“Ah, it’s just a saying. Who actually eats lava?”

“That’s my line. What kind of prejudices about the Demon Realm did you come with? In your eyes, do demons look like monsters that gulp down lava?”

“Hmm. Well, our Ipsine does look like she might live on alcohol and grass.”

“……”

The light conversation continued.

Before they knew it, Habin had taken a cocktail glass from the tray Glitch had brought and clinked it against his Coolpis in a toast.

Glitch, who had inadvertently joined in the toast, clicked his tongue as he looked at the remaining cup noodles.

“I suppose your culture eats this kind of thing without a second thought?”

Recalling the tingling pain that had scraped his mouth, Glitch smiled with disapproval.

Habin shrugged her shoulders.

“This isn’t even considered spicy. This person would probably faint if he tried the nuclear spicy chicken stir-fry noodles.”

It seems she could give a hot tip to heroes trying to hunt the Demon God in the future.

The Demon God’s weakness is nuclear spicy chicken stir-fry noodles!

“Anyway, you’re saying your culture eats such spicy things without a care? Truly frightening.”

“Of course. Underestimating the people of garlic is asking for trouble.”

“What?”

“Nothing, senior.”

Habin answered nonchalantly while glancing at the notification window.

[The constellation ‘Demon God Glitch’ is observing you.]

The notification window that had been popping up continuously.

This was a constellation message.

Habin frowned slightly.

‘Does this mean the Demon God is classified as a constellation too?’

But it was a bit different.

First, the message color was displayed in a darker shade, unlike other constellations.

‘Well, this could be because he’s a “Demon God”…’

The real problem was this:

[Warning! This is an ‘Unregistered Constellation’ not officially registered in the system. Errors different from the existing constellation system may occur.]

‘Unregistered constellation?’

[It’s the first time I’ve heard of an unregistered constellation too.]

Ahezar replied in a heavy voice. Habin asked, sounding uneasy:

‘Is it even a constellation in the first place? He has a body and moves around like that?’

All the well-known constellations so far had communicated only through indirect messages, their substance invisible.

Even if their substance was visible, they existed in forms like objects or spirits, like Ahezar.

No constellation acting as a living, moving human—well, not human but demon—had been discovered so far.

[No, originally, constellations at the level of sacred artifacts could move around in human form! There was a time when I too walked in human form in the past.]

Ahezar interjected.

[Haven’t you heard about my glorious past deeds?! I explained so diligently!]

‘That wasn’t explanation, it was bragging…’

[It wasn’t bragging, it was all true! There was a time when I conquered the entire continent and was revered as an emperor or god, and if I were to tell you about those times-!]

Kim Jaljal. If left alone, it’s obvious he’ll recite his glorious “back in my day” stories for over an hour!

Feeling a sense of crisis, Habin quickly changed the subject.

‘So, why can’t you take human form now? You cried last time saying you can’t even do part-time jobs because you’re a sword, and can’t earn Kakape cash!’

[C-Cried? When did I ever cry! Besides, taking human form isn’t that easy! To begin with, constellations that could take human form could be counted on one hand, including me! If you’re not as powerful as me, you can’t even imagine…]

‘So why can’t you do it now? Did you get weaker?’

[Weaker? On the contrary, I became too strong, so the administrator got scared and sealed me! After the last battle, they barely managed to block my human form by using all their power, since they didn’t have the ability to erase me completely, and hid me in that stuffy, dirty box!]

‘Hmm.’

Habin let Ahezar’s following words flow past her ears as she organized her thoughts.

So, let’s see…

In the end, only constellations powerful enough to count on one hand can take human form.

Kim Jaljal is currently sealed from taking human form due to the administrator’s check because he’s too strong.

Demon God Glitch shows up as an unregistered constellation, but since he’s in human form, he must be quite a powerful constellation, about as strong as Kim Jaljal.

Wait. Then…?

‘So who’s stronger between Kim Jaljal and Glitch?’

[Of course it’s me! How dare you compare a mere Demon God to me! Back in my day…!]

“Is it also part of your culture to be lost in thought while sitting across from your senior?”

Ah, it seems I left Glitch alone for too long. Habin turned her head calmly, not flustered at all.

“Huh? How could that be? So what were you saying earlier, senior?”

“I asked what business brought you here.”

“……”

Her eyes met Glitch’s at that moment. Habin noticed that although he was still smiling, there was no trace of mirth in his eyes. Glitch continued:

“From what I heard earlier, you seem interested in the ring that’s up for auction. Are you after that? My ring?”

He leaned in closer and added in a chilling voice:

“Do you know what that is?”