Even Though I Was Reincarnated I Am Suffering Because of Yanderes

chapter 1



1 – 1 – Men should not smile carelessly.

If there are those who are born with memories of their past life.

There would be those who envy them.

If you are such a person.

Based on the experiences and knowledge from the past life.

Could they not live a life of growth and success?

Does reincarnation really exist?

If it does, what kind of life would I have lived?

Wouldn’t it be helpful in my current life if I could remember?

I once pondered this.

To be precise.

In my first life on Earth.

When I had time for myself.

Looking at the main characters of web novels as a small hobby.

Thinking back now.

Why would I have wished for such a thing?

It’s obvious that there are more losses than gains.

Even though I don’t know what kind of past life I lived.

Why would I have made such a stupid and foolish thought?

Why, you ask?

Well..

.

.

It was the day I graduated from high school.

I worked hard, in my own way.

It wasn’t great, but I had managed to get accepted into a good university.

It was the last day of happy high school days, but I was eagerly anticipating college life.

But suddenly,

“Ah, ah, ack!! “

“Hyun-woo!! “

“Ker-plunk…!”

I was bewildered.

What in the world had happened?

I had just been laughing with my stupid friends only moments ago.

But then,

“Liar! “

“What on earth is going on? “

Right in front of me.

My vision grew redder by the second, and a heavy object hit my body.

A female classmate of mine appeared.

“I thought you wanted to be with me!”

I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

Whoosh!

“Cough!!”

Painful. Undeniably painful.

The fact that I was dying was the only thing I could understand.

“Someone stop her!”

“But, she has a knife!”

“Some, someone call a teacher, or even the police!!”

There was no one around to help me.

Everyone was calling out for someone, probably in shock,

But no one seemed to actually be making a report.

“Hyunwoo, you said you liked me… you said you liked me…”

Am I going to die like this?

Whoosh!

“Cough!! I never said…”

Whoosh!

“Liar! You said you wanted to go to the same school as me!

Ah.

Being friends in the same class,

And getting good grades to go to a good school together.

I did say those things.

But why is this happening?

“Above all!”

Thud!

I no longer had the strength to scream.

Ah, I must really be dying.

“You smiled with that pretty face!”

Thud!

Damn it… Then smile. Would it hurt to frown?…

Thud!

“What, what is…”

I wanted to say it was bullshit.

Thud! Thud!

“Kyaahaha!!”

This crazy woman didn’t listen to me to the end.

She kept jabbing at me.

“If I can’t have you, I’ll destroy you!!”

Thud! Thud!

Such a crappy line you’d only hear in a drama.

It was the last memory of my first life.

But because I couldn’t forget this wretched last memory,

And it continued into the next life,

I still have nightmares.

How wonderful it would have been if I could remember my past life.

I can’t help but curse my past self for that wishful thinking.

Cripple.

.

.

.

As soon as I turned twenty.

Before my adult life properly began, it was prematurely ended.

Taking the last moments of my first life as a lesson.

In any circumstance.

No matter how enjoyable.

Or how happy.

In front of a woman.

I will absolutely never smile.

There won’t be the slightest sound of laughter escape.

Even a light smile will not be shown.

Absolutely.

Because in my previous life.

With a light goodwill.

To be kind.

My face that smiled at a woman.

The thoughtless smile I wore.

In this life too, I do not know how it will affect me. This is a better decision. The life that I came to live this time started in a world different from Earth. It’s a place with a culture completely different from Earth’s. It can be seen as a fantasy world that often appears in web novels that I enjoyed in my previous life. But the problem is that it’s a world where the roles of men and women are reversed. A gender-reversed world. I’ll omit the detailed explanation. It’s a bit strange to say this with my own mouth, but I was rather good-looking in my first life. That caused lots of unfortunate misunderstandings and it seems like I met a cruel and absurd end. But my appearance in this life was unthinkably beautiful. Smiling with this face in such a world? It would probably only be seen as flirting. So in this life, if I were a woman, I would never smile at anyone. Fortunately, the place where I was born is the northern imperial family known as ‘The Cold Hearted’, where everyone lives together. No one had anything to say about my not smiling because it rather suits the family. So in this life, if I were a woman, even to the exclusive maid who had taken care of me since I was young, even to the knight who pledges loyalty to me and always protects me, and even to my family, my mother and sister who are women, too, I have never smiled.

Was it that God pitied me for my particular situation? Somehow, I had become instinctively sensitive to the gaze of women. This started from my younger years when a female assassin managed to infiltrate our family estate unseen. Fortunately, I sensed her presence in time to escape from danger. The captured assassin turned out to be somebody infamous in the underworld, and I had instinctively uncovered her concealment. As a result, I was able to detect the watchful eyes of the women around me, which is why I never showed a smiling face to any woman.

With senses sharpened to the point where they could be called supernatural, I firmly decided that in this life, at least, for my survival, I would not smile at any woman, not even with the faintest hint of a mirthful grin.

As the sole imperial family, the daughter of the Frigid family, Liris, thought her younger brother was adorable today, as always. No, to be precise, how shall she describe it? Cute? Pretty? Beautiful?

It’s like a puzzle.

His daily fidgeting is just so endearing!

Her brother, one year her junior,

has never shown a smiling face in his life.

To be precise, he never showed it to any woman, including herself and their mother.

Could it be shyness around the opposite sex?

According to the conversations she overhears from her father and male servants of the house,

he does smile in the company of other men… She felt a pang of jealousy.

Could his preferences lie in that direction, perhaps?

She had tried many times to catch a glimpse of his secretive smile.

But somehow,

no matter how near or far,

even with the aid of telescopes, magic, or stealth,

she could not see her brother’s smiling face.

Rumor had it that once, in their childhood, an attempt was made to kidnap the Frigid family siblings.

A guild master from the assassins managed to infiltrate their household.

Her brother was said to have noticed this.

She couldn’t be sure if that was true,

but to her brother, who was eerily perceptive of a woman’s gaze, the chance of ever seeing his smile

seemed to ebb away.

Ultimately, she had no choice but to give up.

She had greatly missed seeing his smiling face, yet it was okay.

Why?

The pudgy expression she had seen since he was a child.

The face that was trying to suppress a laugh.

These instances alone.

Made him immensely lovable.

Since the moment she could remember.

Her little brother who never changed was absolutely adorable.

Even without smiling or grinning.

You could tell he was such a kind and gentle person.

As the eldest daughter of the family.

She received a rigorous education in her childhood and often cried alone due to the hardships.

Every time she did,

Her younger brother was always there, watching over her silently, somehow always knowing where she was.

This was a tremendous comfort to her when she felt as though she were about to crumble.

And her brother.

Was so attentive that he would always help her catch each lapse whenever she sometimes became a bit of a bumbler.

His attentiveness and kindness was simply too lovely.

Her younger brother made it possible.

That as the eldest daughter to carry the lineage of the family.

As the heir to the family, was able to comfortably and smoothly grow up.

At the very least, that’s how she saw it.

Because of that,

She saw her younger brother as more than just family.

Lilith regarded him as a precious benefactor.

Always.

Whenever she saw her adorable younger brother,

she wouldn’t care about anyone else around,

and would run straight to hug him.

Suddenly—

“Ah! Sister, please don’t cling to me!”

“Awww, don’t be like that, my little brother~♡”

“I’m an adult now, too, not just you!”

“What’s wrong with family being close~”

“As the successor to the family head, please maintain some dignity!”

“I don’t want to keep any dignity with Ed~”

“Ugh, stop it already!”

Her younger brother, embarrassed by her actions today as always,

always annoyed and quick to anger,

but he had always accepted her without ever refusing.

Today, again, her younger brother was

not only extremely handsome,

but his reactions were just as adorable,

which made him utterly lovable.

“Haa.. Haa.. This is really exhausting..”

Truly tiring.

In this life, I had no choice but to be constantly exhausted because of my one and only sister. She never even gave me a smile, let alone laughed, from early childhood. But she was always friendly towards me. According to stories of friends from Earth who had older or younger sisters, they couldn’t stand each other and always fought – seemed like a fantasy world for me. From my early childhood, she would cuddle with me every day, not trying to hide her affection. Of course, it didn’t matter when we were children. But it was incredibly painful as soon as we became teenagers. In order for me to live unscathed through this life, I just did not laugh or smile at her. It’s not that I’m impotent. I don’t hate women per se. But I can’t have feelings for my own sister. The pranks she played on me daily were incredibly painful to endure. Starting in our teens. She grew immensely. She really had an explosive growth. Can such a thing exist in reality? Her body proportions were artistic. Huge breasts and buttocks. And the beautiful body line connecting them. Any regular man would be mesmerized. And she clings to me every day? Even if we are siblings, it is an incredibly difficult situation to endure.

Just looking at her feels like I could go mad.

Every time she hugs me tight and plays around.

The sensations that I feel seem like they will make me lose my mind.

I pour my entire being into not reacting,

in case I actually do respond.

Instead of dying by a stab wound,

couldn’t I end up torn apart and killed for the suspicion of incest?

That’s why I could never become a beast that reacts to his own sister.

I am a man of reason.

I am the dispassionate younger son of the northern duke,

known for being colder than anyone else.

No matter how beautiful she is, how lovely her figure, or how adorably she clings to me,

I have kept pushing her away with relentless indifference every day.

Seeing this persist every day since childhood,

I sometimes wonder if she’s doing this deliberately to kill me.

Nevertheless, I am someone who

never cracks a smile nor allows even the smallest of grins.

As the cold-hearted younger son of the northern duke,

I have once again succeeded in enduring another day.

In this life,

for such a ridiculous reason as

smiling at someone,

I will definitely not die at the hands of madwomen.

Never.

A man must not laugh thoughtlessly.


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