Even a Scoundrel Gets Tired

36 – Midterm Evaluation (11)

“..cause..”

[■I..■■’m ■■..]

“..if….then”

So loud.

A voice had been ringing inside my head since a while ago.

At first, I tried to open my eyes, but no matter how hard I tried,

they wouldn’t open, and neither would my body move.

I quickly came to the conclusion that unless I was bound or imprisoned,

this wasn’t reality,

and, giving up resistance, continued

to remain still in that spot.

Just as I was waiting for this situation, which I wasn’t even sure was a dream, to end,

a voice resonated within my head,

and now I’ve come to this situation.

“..it..if..is.”

[■ca■se ■■ly..]

One was a voice that anyone would consider a youthful tenor,

but I wasn’t even sure if the other was even the sound of a living thing.

I was definitely hearing something,

but perhaps because they were words I couldn’t understand,

only piercing screams kept echoing.

I couldn’t grasp the context of the conversation,

but at least I could tell that they were fighting.

The volume of their voices was growing louder

and the emotions contained within were becoming more intense.

“….!!”

“….!”

The words I could understand were gradually dwindling,

and finally, the alien voice vanished, chuckling mockingly

as if ridiculing the youthful tenor.

Soon, the remaining youthful tenor also ceased to speak,

and I could sense someone approaching me.

“…”

“…”

Though I tried to speak, even my lips refused to move.

Miseong, perhaps not intending to harm me,

simply stood beside me, wordless.

Then, at long last, Miseong stirred,

and I felt her hand rise above my head.

“…?”

A warmth akin to my mother’s touch.

As if the morning sun of spring was shining upon my head,

and larks were singing just above me.

She stroked my hair, again and again, for what felt like three minutes.

Then the hand drifted lower, settling upon my brow,

and at the same moment, Miseong spoke.

“I’m sorry…”

Sorry?

For what?

Does she harbor guilt toward me?

I have never heard such a voice.

Such a beautiful voice could not have escaped my memory.

“…So-orry…I…”

But the voice that uttered those words held so much sadness,

so much guilt, that I was all the more bewildered.

What is she so sorry for?

What is it that makes her so sad?

I had so many questions I wanted to ask,

but my lips simply wouldn’t part.

Not long after, the hand that caressed my head vanished,

and at the same time, I felt the oppressive darkness around me begin to lift.

Darkness yielded to light, and as my eyes slowly opened,

I awoke once more.

*

The first thing my eyes beheld was the moon.

I was captivated by the full, endlessly round moon hanging in the sky,

but remembering that I was in the midst of evaluation, I hurriedly rose to my feet.

A small blanket seemed to be covering me,

and another lay beneath me on the ground.

“Uuuhmm…”

Startled by the sound beside me, I instinctively drew my dagger,

but lowered my arm again when I saw the source of the noise.

Lianna, unaware that I had awakened, was fast asleep, snoring softly, and

All around, students were settled into their own spaces, lost in slumber.

The night air carried the faint cries of wild animals,

but strategically placed bonfires kept them at bay.

Despite the fire’s warmth at her side,

Rihanna seemed chilled, shivering slightly.

I draped the blanket I’d been using over her and rose to my feet.

Surely, there were still sentries awake on watch.

I needed to find them, even if only to speak.

While searching, I should organize my thoughts from before sleep.

Starting with Albert’s persuasion to hunt the magical beasts,

and ending with the news that the God planned to meet me.

Of course, only if I protected the Saintess.

But even that was a blessing I didn’t deserve.

Through all my past lives, I hadn’t encountered a God,

or even anything remotely similar.

So, this might be my only chance,

and I must give it my all.

Hunting an intermediate beast would be difficult, for sure,

but I could certainly ensure the Saintess escaped.

Even if it meant my death, protecting her meant

the condition would be met, and I could finally meet that b*stard.

Therefore, what I needed to do was simple.

Even if I died for it, I just needed to save her.

Having settled on that decision in my heart,

I noticed cadets scattered, some awake,

Isabella among them.

Her eyes were fixed on the flickering flames of the bonfire,

a trace of solitude reflected in their depths.

I ignored it and approached her.

Albert sat behind her, gaunt and weary.

They hadn’t spoken, just sat in silence,

but both sensed my approach and turned

their gazes toward me simultaneously.

“Are you alright?”

“Are…you alright?”

I was slightly taken aback that they both had the same concern,

but I assured them I was fine, and settled down by the fire.

“…So, what will you do?”

“…?”

“You mean you’re planning to take down a mid-tier monster with no strategy?”

“If that’s what you mean, then I do have something in mind.”

I never imagined those words would come out of my mouth first.

Albert’s response was a little slow to arrive.

“…You’ll help me?”

“You must have overheard my conversation with the Saintess.”

“…Indeed, that’s quite an extraordinary event.

A god meeting their creation directly, you say.”

“…”

“The Pope himself hasn’t been granted such an audience.

Is there a particular reason why the Divine chose to meet you? Or perhaps…”

“Enough, already.”

I cut him off, lest Albert lapse into muttering to himself all night.

It was an old habit of his, a bad one.

When deep in thought, his musings tended to spill out into the open.

As if finally snapping out of his reverie, he composed himself, adopting a serious expression as he addressed me.

“Jenison.”

“…?”

“Are you… a demon?”

I barely managed to stop my face from twisting into a grimace,

forcing myself to remain composed.

The look in Albert’s eyes was heavier than anything I’d seen before.

And even Isabella, who had been silent until now, seemed intrigued by this subject, her ears perked up even without turning to look at us.

“…Why would you think that?”

“There are many grounds for it. Your rejection of the Saintess’ healing.”

“…”

“Your questioning of the identity of ‘That One’, as the Saintess called them.”

“…”

“And lastly, your request to meet That One.”

With each reason, Albert extended another finger,

and I found myself unable to speak recklessly.

“The Saintess’ power is holy, divine. The very strength of god.

And you refused to be healed by it.”

“…”

“Which means, you could harbor hate, or a deep aversion, to the divine power itself… or to God.”

“…”

“The reason you pressed me on His true nature must have been to solidify the direction of your hatred.”

“…”

“And your request for a private audience with Him… it all becomes clear now.”

One by one, his unfolded fingers began to curl in, and I could only stare blankly at them.

Because to some extent, what he said rang true.

“To summarize, you hold an aversion to God, or to divine power itself, and for some reason, you hate God.”

“…”

“As far as I know, there is only one being who possesses such feelings, can take human form, and wields great power.”

“…Is that… a devil?”

“Yes.”

God is always right.

Everyone knows this.

A devil is always evil.

Everyone also knows this.

Therefore, God and the Devil are in conflict.

Because that is what they believe.

But then, just hypothetically,

what if there was a being who hated God so much that they wanted to kill Him,

a being who would stop at nothing to bring God down?

What would people call that being?

“…So, the answer?”

Pulled from my somewhat plausible musings,

Albert cleared his throat, demanding an answer,

and I, who was not a devil, of course,

denied his suggestion.

What surprised me was how quickly he seemed to agree.

I had expected some lingering suspicion, surely.

“Because you say you aren’t, I believe you.

In the first place, if you were a devil, Saint Hildegard wouldn’t fail to notice.

Yes, if there were a devil present, Saint Hildegard, a true saint, would have recognized it immediately.

That’s how effective divine power is against devils, and how sensitive devout believers are to their presence.

“Because, you see, he claims to even possess the insight to recognize demons.”

There’s no way she, a woman more sacred than anyone, wouldn’t notice them.

“So… what’s the plan to… catch it?”

Isabella, perhaps weary of silently listening to our conversation,

was attempting to steer the topic elsewhere,

and as I, too, was curious about that very thing,

I fixed my gaze intently on Albert.

Albert, caught between our stares with the bonfire as his stage,

cleared his throat a couple of times

and postponed the explanation, saying he’d explain when everyone was awake.

He clearly didn’t want to repeat himself.

She seemed to accept this, giving a slight nod,

and promptly rose to her feet, heading off to catch some sleep.

“You don’t need to rest?”

“I’ve slept enough… and someone needs to keep watch.”

He thanked me for that, for my words

before Albert too, moved to his bedroll to sleep,

leaving only me and the bonfire in that place.