Evade The Hero and Flee!

RATH 63

TL: Eevee

8. If you do it, it works. (2)

#2 Their story: A certain teacher’s story

“Uwuuuuu~ I’m sleepy~”

I gave myself a good stretch as my body bounced along with the carriage’s movements.

It was the first time I’d gone back home in a long time but all I got was nagging.

Really, even though I’m considered quite the problem child among the elves, I’m nothing compared to our princess.

I heard that the princess had been looking for someone since long ago, but to think Professor Nicerwin knew where that person was…

Thanks to that the princess gave me an earful whether I’d found any information or not and shook me down by my lapels.

And just before I got on the carriage to return to the academy, she told me to get that information no matter what.

Not caring about how I went about doing it, she ordered me to get that intel even if I had to kidnap Professor Nicerwin for it and shook me by my lapels again.

Because of that, my clothes that I only wore when I went out, my precious, precious robe’s neckline was stretched out and that saddened me, but that sadness disappeared instantly when I saw the gold in the pouch the princess had slipped into my pocket as an ‘appreciation fee.’

That’s our princess for you.

Her ability to handle people as a leader is pure art.

After I tipped the driver thanks to my now-generously full purse I dropped my bags off in my room and looked over my workplace that I had returned to.

Mm, even though the school’s technically on holiday it doesn’t seem like much had changed.

Because in Yugrasia, students had to go to class even in the holidays!

Iya, I could honestly never have imagined it.

Since elves didn’t study in institutionalised academies like this, at first I thought that all humans studied like this.

That there was a reason why humans could get stronger in such short periods of time after all!

Was what I’d thought, but as I saw other students on my way to the Elven Forest I realised that Yugrasia was a special case.

To the point that when I asked those other students whether they had class during the holidays, their faces that looked like they’d just heard a hilarious joke still remained in my memory!

The fact that their laughing faces briefly overlapped with the students of Yugrasia that were distraught and despairing was a secret that wasn’t much of a secret.

And as I was about to open the door to the academy.

“Oh, Professor Harian. Have you returned?”

“Mm? Y, yes?”

The door suddenly opened first before I could open it myself.

And the person who had opened the door was the student council president!

Why was he out here at this time?

Did Professor Nicerwin finally grow a conscience and let the students out without any strings attached?

Or did a parent complain like Miss Aris’s father had a while back?

“Miss Harian, we’re kind of in a hurry right now, so can we go first?”

“Ah, mhmm.”

At a mysterious pressure I automatically nodded.

And as I moved aside from the door a bit, shortly afterwards countless students started running out and made a beeline for the main gates.

“Wh, what the?”

They had hurried footsteps, but at the same time, their footsteps were spirited.

What the heck, why would I feel spirit from people running away?

Was that possible?

As I blankly stared at the students leaving the academy leaving as if nothing was wrong, I went inside.

And what I saw was.

“L, lil’ Muam?”

“I, I told you not to call me that…”

There was a corpse on the floor.

No, since it was alive it wouldn’t be right to call it a corpse, but Muam was spreadeagled all over the floor as if he might as well have been a corpse.

“Wh, what happened?”

The strongest elementalist of the gnomes.

I was taken aback at the sight of Muam collapsed on the ground, very unlike the man who was the contractor of the Spirit King of Water, but the man himself said as if nothing was wrong.

“What do you mean, what happened. I simply did my duty as expected of my line of work.”

His appearance as he stood up with groan, clutching his hip, did not fit his appearance that seemed younger than the students of this academy had he been human.

Although it did match his actual age.

Although he was younger than me he was still approaching his 50s, as I watched him stand up groaning “ow my hips…”

No, but before that.

“My duty? As expected of my line of work?”

He did his job as he was expected to?

Our duties didn’t even match our job specifications as teachers to begin with, but never mind that, this man looked like he’d been completely and utterly thrashed?

“Urk, yes. That’s what it was.”

Muam’s actions as he stretched complaining how his body was sore all over were simply far too natural.

“What happened with the students?”

“The same daily routine as always. The students did their best to leave school, and we stopped them for the sake of learning.”

“So what lil’ Muam’s saying, you got beaten by the students?”

“Yes, and please stop calling me lil’ Muam.”

“Didn’t you go too easy on them no matter how pitiful they were?”

I asked sincerely as lil’ Muam grumbled.

Even I thought that keeping students in the academy to study (aka to fight) was far too depressing.

But all the new teachers in the academy were all here for something, and the person who had that something in his hands was Professor Nicerwin.

And what Professor Nicerwin wanted from us was for the students to become able to break through our defence while we were holding nothing back.

Refusing that meant it would be very difficult for each of the parties to get what they wanted.

But perhaps because Muam was weak-hearted, he failed to achieve that.

If he wasn’t, the contractor of the Spirit King of Water, and the strongest summoner of an entire race would never be beaten by students.

At least if Aris and the other god-class summoners became second years, or even third years and became experienced god-class summoners.

Or unless a swordsmaster appeared out of nowhere or something, it was impossible to break through that water barrier.

Not even the veteran soldiers Professors Maroon and Aruhan could break through lil’ Muam’s wall.

“Well, I suppose thinking like that would be natural, wouldn’t it?”

But lil’ Muam brushed off my seriousness much too casually.

Wow seriously. An elf is worrying for you, you know!

“Your salary’s going to get cut?”

“Hm… well, come tomorrow, I suspect that you’ll understand what I’ve said, Professor Harian.”

Even though I spun it for him, lil’ Muam ignored me!

And he went back to his office just like that!

“Hmph, what do I have to understand.”

As I grumbled and went into my office for the first time in a while, I started to prepare for the holiday lessons for tomorrow.

Before the castle walls closed, as I waved to lil’ Muam who was leaving, he shouted.

“You’ll really have to do your best tomorrow!”

Hmph, I’m not going to go easy on them!

I need to do my best until I hear the information on the person that the princess wants from Professor Nicerwin after all!

Because our princess is a great princess who makes sure to look after our wallets!

And the next day.

“Uwiing?”

-Contractor, as I thought, this academy is insane.

My contracted god, the God of the North Wind, Boreas, said something I heartily agreed with.

The sight in front of me.

I understand that the students are charging to break through our defence.

But the red aura surrounding Aris’s sword at the front probably isn’t sword ki?

Isn’t it a bit too bright compared to before the holidays when she was just shy of a swordsmaster?

And what happens if a person that’s just short of becoming a swordsmaster steps forward to that peak?

Isn’t the step after ‘just before swordsmaster’ just a swordsmaster?

Aris, did you become a hero of legend or something?!

“W, wait a second, kids?”

Although I tried to attempt dialogue in my bewilderment.

“We’ve got 20 minutes left, but since we don’t know what might happen I’ll make it quick!”

“Uwiit! Wait, don’t talk while swinging that thing! Let’s talk, talk!”

The crimson sword aura shredded through Boreas’s wall of wind.

Way too simply and easily!

“Boreas, put some power into it! If we can’t last as long as Muam then that’s an embarrassment!”

-Urrrrgh! I do not wish to be a god that loses to some Spirit King either!

Although Boreas was going hard at it with the wind, the moment his wind touched Aris’s sword it was all shredded instantly.

And the other students were charging through those shredded gaps with extremely practiced motions!

Uwiiit! Lil’ Muam! You should have told me that Aris had become a swordsmaster!

Whaddaya mean just see for yourself!

“I cannot lose as soon as I retuuuurrrnnnn!”

“We can’t wait until the silver devil gets heeeeerrrree!”

Among his brothers that were all gods of wind, Boreas was the wildest and most violent of them all.

As he started to commit his full power, a freezing blizzard appeared to obstruct Aris’s path.

Swordsmaster, yes that swordsmaster!

A swordsmaster that not even our village has that many of, and not even the Princess has many of around her is in this academy!

But I cannot lose!

And three minutes later.

“Thank you very much!”

The student that was at the very back bowed his head to me before frantically running outside for the main gates.

Even though I was in the prime of my life as an elf, my body hurts all over.

But anyways… how was I supposed to stop those students from now on?

I just got back from vacation, right?

“When are the holidays going to end…”

And so, my short yet long holidays began.

***

“Uyuuuuwuu…”

My desk which could boast a lot of space even with countless documents piled on top of them was currently occupied with the metal bat that was lying sprawed on her belly, making a weird noise.

“Speak properly.”

“Uwauhhhhhhuhhhuuwuu…”

She became worse after I bothered to say something.

“You’ve had enough fun so far.”

“But stiiiiiillll~”

Perhaps it was because her head was pointed towards the floor, her voice seemed like it would reach into the ground.

“If you keep doing that I’ll roll you off.”

As if this worked, she turned her body around and made her head face the sky.

And

“Uwehuhhhahiieuuieieuwuwuuuu.”

That’s still the same!

“Roll out!”

“Uwiit, what’re ya doing owner! I nearly fell off!”

In an instant, I grabbed her body and flipped her off the desk, but she demonstrated her incredible reflexes that allowed her to beat up the students without missing a single one of them, by grabbing the edge of the desk to hold on.

“I told you I was going to roll you off?”

“A weak goddess dat’s in a state of dejection’s gotta right to uwuhahuhahwu!”

I have no idea just what the right to uwuhahuhahwu is supposed be a right for.

“I have the right to do my work at my desk. And this room is my room! Therefore, I have the right to deny your right to uwuhahuhahwu!”

“Owner and I share one body! And therefore owner’s room is my room! And therefore I have the right to aahuhhuuahuhahaha!”

“That’s a different right to what you said before?”

“Itz alwight, cuz’ it means the same as a groan of despair!”

“At least you can talk.”

“Uwiit, I haveta be good at talking at least! Cuz I’m now I’m a NEET without any work!”

Looking at this thing going waaahhh! And flailing around everywhere reminds me of an anime I saw back when I was young.

At the time I saw that pink lifeform and had a sincere fear of having children.

Well, it wasn’t till later I realised that fear wasn’t one I would ever have to worry about.

Either way, to me who was trained under that pink lifeform, this level of a tantrum is nothing.

At the very least you need to yell “Uwaaaaahhhhhn! It’s Dan**’s! ***bi’s!” while yelling and screaming in that godawful voice!(1)

Holy shit, just thinking about it’s pissing me off!

“…Owner, owner? I’m the one who’s throwing a tantrum in front of ya right now, if ya think of some other weird kid and getting annoyed by yaself then I honestly have no idea how I’m supposed ta react.”

The metal bat grumbled and turned her head away slightly as if she was embarrassed to be throwing a tantrum by herself.

“It’s your fault for only throwing a tantrum of that level.”

“Uwiit, any further tantrum and muh face as a goddess doesn’t stand!”

A goddess that throws a tantrum, I doubt there’s any except for a certain goddess of water.(2)

“F’ some reason owner’s real well acquainted with those weird gods.”

This is the power of subculture.

“Oh thy who worries about thy fate as a NEET, I shall share with you a way to escape from the NEET.”

“Reawwy? Ya serious? The world that the kids’re all escaping freely’s here, but I can weally do sumfin?”

“Indeed.”

“How? Hurry up and tell me! I need it naaoo!”

I feel like I should hurry up and offer up a bowl of noodles with this uproar.

“It’s simple. The students’ standards are too high so you can’t give them punishment.”

“Annd?”

Then it’s simple.

“You just have to create an environment where they must be punished.”

“Now dat’s a cweative idea!”

Perhaps because it’s the academy of a fantasy world, but Yugrasia has quite a high level of freedom!

But inside there are things called rules, and they were all written in the student handbook they got on their first day of school, but what student ever reads those!

It is a fact of my past life that internet terms and conditions are something you just click ‘I Agree’ and get on with!

Even if the world is different people remain the same!

“And so, from today onwards, we’re getting strict with the rules!”

“So cool, owner’s keeping the school’s morals strict is so cool!”

Even though I know they’re empty compliments it still feels good.

Apologies to the students, but to make my work easier, you kids will have to keep this child occupied.