NOVEL NEXT [Vol. 1 pt. 21]
“Come on, daddy. You’re never going to make me cum if this is all you’ve got,” I told the berserker furiously swinging his axe at me over and over again.
He slowly chipped my health away without ever giving me an opportunity to attack. All I could do was apply healing magic to myself while trying to block every single one of his attacks with my shield, which did work.
But that wasn’t my plan.
My plan – the only way for me to defeat him, was to get him so enraged that he’d start to make mistakes.
Of course, we could have defeated him at any moment. Thera was already done with her opponents and it looked like Akorya was finishing up with hers. Thera alone could have easily killed the berserker while he was distracted with me.
But I didn’t need her to do that. The fact that he was so focused on me that he seemingly didn’t even notice his allies’ deaths was enough to tell me that my plan was working. Well, it was either working or he was extremely desperate and didn’t care about the fact that he would almost definitely die after finishing me off.
Regardless, I wanted to handle him on my own.
“You fa—” he shouted at me, the latter half of his insult getting replaced by a beep.
Swearing was alright. The game’s censor system never touched words like fuck, cunt, or Tiananmen Square Massacre much to the disapproval of China. Derogatory slurs, however, were readily censored to promote a friendlier player base much to the disapproval of everybody who believed that a video game company should promote total, unfiltered free speech so that people could insult whoever they wanted with whatever phrases they wanted.
Personally, I didn’t care either way, but it was always amusing to watch how upset people would get. Plus it forced people to get creative with their insults to get around the automated censoring.
“What was that? It sounded like you were about to compliment me, but I guess the game decided to glitch out or something,” I said and finally got my first opening. He became just a bit too predictable for his own good, allowing me to block his axe with my shield as he left an opening for my to slash at his side with my sword. Unfortunately, my attack barely scratched his health bar, but I expected that. Berserkers were essentially tanks that tanked using pure rage. They had lower defense and fewer utility skills than paladins but had far higher damage output in exchange, and they tanked with absurd health pools rather than a high defense stat.
This also meant that they were preferred over paladins for most group content since people would rather kill things faster than try to last longer.
Still waiting on that balance patch, I thought as I took advantage of a few more openings.
“Have I mentioned how hot it is when you look at me with those eyes? I think I just came a little,” I teased, giving him a wink and a little moan as his cheeks filled with red rage. “Seriously, we should hook up sometime. I promise to be a good little princess for you.”
His shouts became a combination of swears and beeped-out slurs before he could eventually no longer talk at all. Once you get censored enough within a short amount of time, an automatic silencer gets applied that prevents you from speaking at all for a short amount of time.
And he just got hit by that.
“What’s wrong? Should I moan even louder for you? If you really want me to moan, all you have to do is whip that dick out for me, daddy. Or, wait. Don’t tell me that I’ve had it wrong this whole time! Could it be that you want to be dominated? Is the reason why you’re such a big, burly berserker because you want to be dominated by somebody smaller and calmer than you? You like power bottoms, don’t you? Because I could totally power bottom you.”
Even if he wasn’t able to actually say anything back to me, I could still enjoy seeing his face twist and fill with even more murderous rage.
“What do you want me to be to you? Master? Daddy? Sir? You could even be my personal pet. I’ll put a collar around your neck and everything, and then I’ll try my best to snap it if you know what I’m saying. Doesn’t that sound nice? Want me to fuck your throat until I snap your collar?”
Unfortunately, my plan wasn’t working as well as I would have liked it to. While he was getting distracted enough to let me get some attacks in on him, that only hurt me even more. Literally. The lower his health dropped, the higher his damage raised. He was definitely specialized more to be a pseudo-DPS/tank hybrid more than just a really angry tank, and that was about to be my downfall.
But unfortunately for him, I was man enough to realize when I was in a bad spot and in need of help.
All it took was a single look and nod to the patiently waiting Thera.
I really wanted to handle him all on my own, but I wasn’t dumb enough to stubbornly try and solo him until I died. Besides, there was no shame in it. I was built for PvE tanking, not PvP.
But it was annoying that I couldn’t beat him on my own.
Berserkers are too OP, I internally sighed.
Then, just as my enemy raised his axe over his head for a powerful skill, Skull Splitter, he froze.
Thera’s fangs sunk into his neck from behind.
The deadly venom that made her race so deadly inside of PvP was pumped into his neck and quickly distributed throughout his body. The area immediately around his neck was quick to turn black and necrotic. If it were in real life, I would actually feel bad for him because of how disgusting it looked. But, alas, he was but an avatar in an online video game.
An avatar of a man who looked very pissed off.
“Congratulations, I wasn’t able to defeat you by myself,” I told him. “Your reward is my ass whenever you want. Or my mouth. Any of my holes. Just don’t try docking me. I’m not into that. Any other hole? You can use my body to worship your cock whenever you want. Or you can come worship mine whenever you want. Either works. Perks of being a pan switch and all.”
At that point, he looked more disgusted than furious.
He knew that he lost.
Falling to his knees, he tried his best to get back up but couldn’t. Thera’s venom completely overpowered him.
Mostly due to the fact that her venom was so overpowered by default.
“Fortunately for you,” I told him, “I’m not going to do anything other than kill you. While I am whatever degenerate beep-word that you believe I am, most likely way worse than you can even imagine, I’m only into consent. Though… your pants are looking pretty tight there. Somebody’s hard. Are you one of those dudes into being beaten and then fucked? Or maybe you like the idea of me forcing myself onto you while you can’t fight back? I mean, I’m not really into that myself, but I can roleplay it for you if you want.”
None of what I said seemed to have any effect on him. That’s what gave me another idea.
“Hey, Thera, come here,” I said.
“Yes, darling?” Thera asked after walking up to my side, now standing in front of our enemy with me.
“Hah, figured him out.”
Surely enough, the sight of Thera seemed to make him even more excited – well, it made a part of him more disgusted.
“Was it her fangs sliding into your neck that did it for you? Or perhaps it was feeling her breasts against your back as she did it?” I asked him.
He looked away, trying his best not to look up at Thera.
“It’s alright. I want to fuck my favorite spider, too. Just admit that you’re sexually attracted to spiders.”
While I was having my fun teasing him, Thera moved to behind me and said, “Look here,” loudly enough for the man to hear.
I didn’t know who she was talking to at first, but it was obvious when she prevented me from looking at her. As for how she did that, she pressed her breasts against my back, rested her left hand on my thigh, and placed her right hand against my chest as she pushed her lips against my neck.
The next thing I felt were her fangs sliding into my neck as she let out a soft moan. Though, she didn’t slide her fangs all the way in nor did she inject any venom. She was just giving me a little love bite.
A very nice love bite.
And she made sure that our aroused opponent was watching the entire time. Though, seeing her do that for me might have taken him back to being enraged rather than aroused.
“Hurry, darling, before the effect runs off,” Thera whispered into my ear, allowing her hand that was on my chest to rest atop my own hand holding my blade. Together with me, we guided my blade toward his neck and only stopped when its tip indented his skin.
“Now, darling,” Thera whispered.
We pushed my blade into his neck.
It was not nearly as gruesome as it would have been in real life, but there was a bit of blood where my sword impaled his neck.
His body fell forward as soon as I pulled my sword out from his neck. The rest of his allies were spread out behind him, each one every bit as dead as him.
The small battle was over.
More importantly…
“That was hot,” I told Thera.
She was already back to standing at my side and acting as if nothing happened.
“What caused you to do that?” I asked.
“I did not like that another man enjoyed my touch, so I showed him what it really looked like when I was trying to pleasure a man,” Thera explained.
“It definitely worked. We should do that some more.”
“Or not.”
“Or do.”
“You should be grateful for what you have already received. You may never experience it again for all you know.”
“All I know is that if I want to do lewd things with you, I’ve got to somehow get you to be annoyed at other guys so that you’ll make them jealous with me.”
“And how do you know that it will work again?”
“Because you’re not telling me that it wouldn’t.”
“I – well… I must admit that it is entertaining to make others jealous. I have always enjoyed flaunting what others may not have.”
“Is that the secret behind why you dress the way you do? Because you just want to show off and make people jealous?”
“That is correct for the most part, darling. There is only one thing missing from your theory.”
“And what would that be?”
“If I aim to make them jealous, who is it that I aim to make them jealous of?”
“Is it—”
“Whew, that was easier than I thought it’d be!” Akorya said, landing on top of the slain enemy leader.
No.
I wasn’t going to let somebody’s random interruption ruin the moment! I wanted an answer and I wasn’t going to let Akorya cause a cliché in real time!
Returning my attention to Thera, I asked, “Is it me? Do you want to make them jealous of me?”
“What are you talking about, darling?” Thera asked.
“You just said that the thing I’m missing is who you’re trying to make them jealous of.”
“Ah, did I? Strange, for I do not recall such a memory.”
“You’re such a bully, Thera. All I want is to do lewd things with you, and then you decide to force the cliché to happen anyways.”
“Clichés can be useful tools, darling. They are only bad when overused.”
“Or when they’re used to my detriment.”
“Only when they are overused. They may still be amusing when they are used to your detriment.”
“But they’re not amusing to me.”
“Many things that are not amusing to you are amusing to me. Do you truly wish to deprive me of such enjoyment, darling? Do you not want your ‘favorite spider’ to enjoy herself?”
“I – you’re too good at manipulating me.”
“I know.”
“You guys are funny!” Akorya said, interjecting herself back into the conversation now that it had slowed down. “And you’re like, super strong!” she told Thera. “I wish I was that strong. All I can do is paralyze people, make them super horny, and give them that real good suck. Like, suck with two c’s. Succ.”
“But do you use your tail for it?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah. Definitely! Tail succ is best succ. Wanna try it out?”
“I—”
“You do not even need to ask my darling such a question. If the question involves anything sexual and consensual, the answer will be yes,” Thera explained for me.”
“Yeah, what she said.”
“Nyehehe, good to know! We can totally do it later or something. There’s something else I want to do first!” Akorya turned her attention to the cave that we just finished fighting over. “What do you guys want with it again?”
“I want to tame the penis monster.”
“Ooh, but why?”
“I have a dungeon. If I can tame it, I can turn it into a monster that I can summon and fill my dungeon with.”
“Woah, really? You could tame rare monsters like it and fuck them whenever you want?!”
“Well, I plan on using a cash shop item to control them and fuck as them instead, but yeah.”
“Wait, that’s a thing? Seriously? Seriously, seriously?”
“It seriously is a seriously thing, seriously.”
There might have been more excitement in Akorya’s eyes than I had ever seen in somebody’s eyes before. “Then – then you mean all the super hot monsters and stuff can be controlled by you, so it’s like getting to fuck them while they know how to, like, fuck as a human? Because I mean, I love letting monsters fuck me and all that, but they’re not really good at it. If a player controls them… that totally makes them even better since they’ll have good skills!”
“Exactly. Any monster you want can be controlled by me in my dungeon. You still get the best parts of the monster, AKA their bodies and cocks, while also getting all the skill of somebody who knows exactly how to pleasure you. They won’t care only about fucking and cumming as soon as possible. Any monster you can think of fucking will want to fuck you to pleasure you, and they can do far more than only fuck you. I could get creative with their bodies in ways that they aren’t programmed to be on their own.”
The more Akorya and I talked, the closer our faces got to each other and the more lustful her eyes became.
“Any – any monster?” she asked, staring into my eyes.
“I want to turn my dungeon into the perfect sex dungeon for anybody and everybody who wants a taste of monster cock. Any monster you want to fuck can be added and personally controlled by yours truly.”
“Nyehehe… I like you. I have a feeling we’re going to be great friends!”
“Right back at you, Akorya. Just don’t suddenly paralyze me from behind or anything like you did with that asshole you’re standing on. By the way, why’d you betray them anyways?”
“Oh, I already planned on it. I was going to wait until they were fighting the monster, kill them, and then let it fuck me until somebody came along and interrupted us.”
“I think you might be the best manticore ever.”
“I try,” she cooed.
“Well, if we’re all ready, let’s go make a new friend. You ready, Thera?”
“Now that you are done flirting, yes,” Thera answered.
“I could flirt with you whenever you want me to, you know.”
“That is alright. Watching you flirt is as enjoyable as being flirted with.”
“Then let’s – wait, what did you say?”
“Hm? Darling, you seem to keep on mishearing things.”
“I – I feel like you said something I wasn’t expecting to hear, so I didn’t really process it correctly.”
“Or you are simply mishearing things.”
“You guys are funny and stuff,” Akorya said, “but can we go now? I’m already all worked up and don’t want to wait any longer! And it’s totally your fault.” She poked one of her catlike paws against my chest.
“Alright, alright. Here,” I said and invited Akorya to the party.
“You can have this in return!” She accepted the party invite and sent me a friend request.
With the battle won and Akorya officially a part of our group, it was time to go and make friends with a giant penis monster.
I refused to call it by its actual name when “giant penis monster” was a perfectly appropriate alternative.