Elden Ring: Miquella's Consort

(A/N: Bro, Godwyn is so fine the pic AND the comment with link I separately wanted to send got shadow banned lol! Here the link for those of you who want to see it:

https://ds.reactor.cc/post/5896388

The entire chapter is gonna get shadow banned lol.)

Alistair :"So you have 12 apples and your lover asks for 6, what do you have?"

Maliketh teared up :"A lover."

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"Alright, enough depression, it's time for violence again!" Alistair, with a whisper-shout, stood up abruptly, surprising Miquella :"And what do you have in mind?"

Alistair grinned :"There's a cave very nearby. I don't remember exactly which one, but there's a talisman there. It would be better to have it, no matter which one it is. Well, except a few that are just bad, but none of those are in the Weeping Peninsula. What do you think? 30 minutes or something, it'll be quick!"

Seeing that he wanted to take his mind off of troubling things, Miquella smiled :"Alright, sure. You're right, more talismans will definitely be useful."

"Good, then let's go." Alistair held up a hand for him to take. The golden femboy stared at the hand, before taking it with a smile and letting it raise him to his feet :"So are we just going to leave uncle Maliketh here?"

"I told you, it should be really close. I'm talking just passed this hill beside us. And there's a shortcut, so it'll be even quicker. We can just let him nap. And if it's further than expected, we can just teleport back here."

"Alright then, let's go. Torrent, would you please take us there?"

"Neigh!" Torrent stood up with a quiet yell, staring smugly at Maliketh's sleeping form. The two chuckled at his competitive spirit, but before they got on him, Alistair quickly took out something from his inventory :"Oh, but we can't just move under the rain like this. Here, wear this on top of your tunic."

He handed him a Tree-and-Beast Surcoat, the chest armor of Godrick Soldier Set, while he wore another one himself :"It'll keep you warm and mostly dry. You might get sick quickly, kid~."

Miquella was speechless before he glared "Hey~! I'm not a kid anymore!" Alistair snickered :"Really now? But you're still a little squirt though."

Miquella pouted at him :"Hmph, just you wait until we get the other Sacred Tears, then we'll see who will treat who like a kid."

"Baby, once we get the other Sacred Tears..." His voice suddenly grew low, hot, as he cupped Miquella's chin and whispered into his blushing ear :"We're going to see who will treat who like a little slut. And believe me, I'm looking forward to it~."

The golden femboy's breath hitched, face growing hotter as he stiffened, causing the noiret to chuckle at his startled face. He planted a gentle kiss on his cheek before standing straight again :"But for now, we got a cave to explore and a talisman to get. So wear that coat already and calm down that boner."

The blond's hands moved down at lightning speed, quickly hiding his boner. His face so red it resembled a tomato. A gorgeous tomato. Alistair chuckled at his reaction as he pinched his nose :"Come on, don't act like I haven't seen it a hundred times already."

But (un)fortunately for Miquella, his voice got low again :"And like I haven't serviced it a hundred times as well~."

"W-would you please stop already?" He panted lightly, conflicted about how just his consort's words were enough to make him so excited. He couldn't even make an excuse of Maliketh being there if Alistair got in the mood. He would just teleport them to the Third Church of Marika, like he always would when either of them were in the mood.

And as much as Miquella loved every second of those times, –yet refused to admit it– going overboard and doing it too much was unhealthy. And with Alistair's lewdness and endurance, if they really went at it whenever they felt excited, they wouldn't be able to progress in their journey at all. Not even a single step.

Every second would be spent mating. And as exciting as that sounded, –Miquella would rather die than admit to that– they still had goals to finish.

Alistair snickered at his blushing face, as if he could see through his thoughts :"Fine, fine, I'll stop. Then suit up and let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, he put on the chest armor quickly. But the moment his dear, loving, mature consort saw him, he barely kept himself from cackling loudly. A hand over his mouth all the protection to stop himself from waking up Maliketh.

"Pft y-you... hehehehe you look adorable!" Miquella could only glare. But he couldn't scold him. Considering how short he was and how big the armor was compared to him, he probably did look ridiculous.

He could only scoff gently :"Whatever, let's go on already." Swallowing down his laughter, Alistair helped him get on Torrent like a gentleman. The severe scolding he had received after scooping him up and putting him on Torrent in the past did their job on setting him straight. Miquella smiled in satisfaction.

He himself sat behind the gorgeous femboy and took Torrent's reins. During their travels, Miquella had already taught him how to ride a horse, so he didn't have any trouble leading Torrent in the direction he needed anymore.

They moved in silence, enjoying the sound of the rain. While resting his head on Miquella's, Alistair truly felt at peace after letting out everything he had bottled up in his heart. But Miquella, his beloved consort, his THICK femboy husband, his genius and reserved lover, broke the silence with a surprise question :"Hey, Alistair... why won't you... have sex with me?"

He didn't know what he choked on, maybe it was his spit, maybe on empty air, but he choked on something for a second from surprise :"W-what? I-I'm sorry, I think I heard you wrong."

Even Torrent froze up for a moment, and Alistair was sure it wasn't because he saw one juicy rowa raisin on the ground. But he quickly started walking again, treating himself as air.

Miquella, surprisingly, looked back at him. More surprisingly, without a single hint of blush. As if it was the most important subject in the world.

"I asked, why won't you have sex with me, even though it has been quite a while since I grew up? We do a lot of sexual stuff, pleasuring each other in various ways, but you never seem to want to take the next step. Why is that?" His expression finally changed. But not to an embarrassed or shy one, but to a concerned one :"Do you... not want to copulate with a male like me after all?"

"N-no, no, that's not it!" He quickly jumped to comfort him, his arms hugging him from behind :"That's not it, love. It's because... well, actually..." To Miquella's surprise, he blushed :"I wanted your first time to be as pleasantly special as I could think of.

And... haaah, as embarrassing as that sounds, I came up with the brilliant idea of doing it when you actually look older than me. You already know I'm 17. You're physically 15 now, so after getting the three Sacred Tears in the Weeping Peninsula, you'll look 18, a year older than me.

You always seem self-conscious about your body when we get physical, so I thought you knowing you are and look more mature than me would help you with your confidence in your beauty, that's all. I promise, that's it. I didn't think you would think that."

"Alistair..." Despite the cold air, Miquella's heart warmed up, heating up his entire body as well as he smiled, a hand reaching back to cup and caress Alistair's cheek (A/N: Again, which one👀?) lovingly :"You truly are gentle and considerate in the most peculiar ways. But thank you. I really didn't expect such a sweet reason. Hahaha and here I was really getting worried about you not being attracted to me sexually anymore."

"Miquella, that's a really stupid thought." Alistair frowned deeply, looking aggrieved :"I'm literally dying from how much I'm holding back from just pinning you down, alright? I have never used as much willpower as I've been using for the past while in my whole life. My brain feels like it's going to get fried from how much I'm physically holding back."

"Oh, is that so..." Miquella whispered, making the noiret scoff :"Yeah, that's right- hng..." But he was interrupted by a deep breath when Miquella pushed back against him. Not his back, but his ass. His juicy bubble butt. His jiggly jello of a booty.

Alistair's toes curled as he inhaled shakily, looking down at the cheeky femboy who was looking back with lustful, bratty eyes :"Miquella, what the hell are you doing?"

He grew more cheeky, more bratty, as he wiggled his ass around, rubbing it back and forth on Alistair's slowly hardening member :"Hmm, what do you mean? I'm just fixing my seat, that's all. It's not my fault your juicy, huge, delicious member is in the way..."

Another shaky breath. And much to Miquella's fake horrified gasp, as if he was a maiden suddenly embraced, he was hugged from the back before they were teleported. To where? Where else but the good old Third Church of Marika, where Alistair summoned him out of his mind in one swift second, onto the ground, where Miquella's knuckles hid his mouth in fake concern :"O-oh, Alistair?! W-why did you suddenly bring us here...?"

"You know goddamn well, you cheeky little brat." His Tarnished consort growled, taking off everything in one swift motion before slapping his fully erect member on Miquella's face, making him gasp before whimpering lustfully :"You care a lot about responsibilities, right? Then take responsibility for what you've done to this."

As much as he wanted to, the golden femboy couldn't hold back his lewd smile as he gripped the large member with both hands, eyes locked on it sinfully :"Of course, my dead consort~..."

(A/N: Next chapter, Alistair finally shows Miquella's asshole some love for the first time, AKA burying his face in that booty! But not breeding it yet though. It needs some training for his size👀🤤.

This chapter wasn't supposed to turn out like this though lol, but the horny wants what it wants. It just suddenly turned out this way and I was okay with that.

Also, allow me to give you some of my knowledge as the Booty Sage. There are three stages of ass. One, butt, where it's nonexistent, or barely there, where a normal guy has more ass. Two, ass, where we get most of the goods. The normal ones. The average ones. The ones that can be big, firm or just nice to the eyes and the touch.

Then we got three, booty, spelled boo-deh, where the treasures are. The ones that will make you recoil from the shock of seeing them. The ones that will steal your breath away. The ones that will make you take a second look to make sure you saw it right.

Miquella, currently, is on the verge of ass and booty (boo-deh). And when I say wait for the breeding chapter, to wait for it to be cooked into a five star cuisine, I'm saying wait for it to break through and become a full on boo-deh! Okay, class dismissed.)