Don't Panic: A Wizard’s Guide to Westeros (HP × ASOIAF)

Chapter Synopsis: ... Our intrepid trio find their way through the wall, but their back-story is as full of holes as Swiss Cheese. What are the chances they find themselves in the dungeons? Yep, about 100% chance. But locked doors never seemed to stop Harry before, they're not likely to stop him now. 

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Last Time:  

Ser Jorik, the patrol leader, a gruff man with a bushy beard, eyed them warily. Taking in their high-quality clothes and glancing pointedly at the valuable jewelled sword on Harry's hip. Clearly wondering what these apparent lordlings or wealthy merchants were doing north of the wall.  

"Halt!" Ser Jorik demanded. "You there, who are you and what are you doing here?"   

Harry stepped forward, trying to appear as desperate and disoriented as possible. "We're just three tired travellers my friend. We had booked passage on a ship from Braavos to White Harbour, and were headed on to Winterfell, but had a slight disagreement with the captain. Now we're not entirely sure where he dropped us off."  

Ser Jorik studied the trio for a moment before sighing. "Very well, we'll take you back to Castle Black. You can rest there, and we'll figure out what to do with you." He gave them one last long look before turning away.  

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Chapter 7: Guests of Castle Black

As Harry, Sirius, and Dobby followed the Brothers of the Night's Watch on what they had been informed would be a two-day patrol, the impatience to finally cross the damn Wall grew. They hadn't really considered how much slower it would be to travel with muggles and forego their occasional stints in the air, cramped together upon Harry's Firebolt.  

They walked directly south until they emerged in a clearing between the Wall and the forest. Harry figured the area was clear of trees simply because nothing could possibly grow in the hard, frigid shadow of the Wall. At least this clearing made their progress somewhat easier. From that point, they simply followed the wall east, moving faster without trees, but still excruciatingly slow for Harry's standards. Harry sighed as the landscape stretched before them, vast and frozen.  

That being said, there was one point of interest on this hike, and that was the Wall itself. Harry couldn't help but be awestruck by the sheer scale of the ancient structure looming over them. He'd been told it stood from coast to coast across the whole continent, cleanly separating the Southern Kingdoms from the wild lands of the 'True North', as their Thenn friends would call it.  

Harry wondered what methods were used in its construction. Either Ignotus or one of his allies was clearly a genius, because Harry couldn't figure it out. Had they somehow grown the ice over time, compacting the snow whenever it fell, and holding the ice under a stasis ward, or did they actually construct it, with massive blocks of ice?  

Torvald of the Thenn had mumbled something about giants when Harry had asked. Which Harry had noted, and would have to investigate at some point, in-case they still existed. Certainly, if giants were around at the time, they could have helped build the foundations, and possibly helped move the massive ward stone anchors he could sense underneath the Wall. But the sheer height would leave even a giant in awe. This might need to remain a mystery as he couldn't even begin to fathom how to unravel the technique without a lot more research.  

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After a final half day of marching, they finally approached a great gate in the Wall, it's black iron and dark wood standing out against the endless white.   

One of the accompanying Black Brothers stepped forward and blew on a horn, the sound echoing throughout the frozen expanse. Moments later, a return horn-blow reverberated from above, signalling that their arrival had been acknowledged. A great grinding noise filled the air as the ice-covered gate began to rise slowly, allowing the group to make their way into a vast tunnel.  

As they entered the tunnel, Harry felt a powerful sensation wash over him. They had clearly crossed the invisible ward barrier, and Harry let out a breath of relief. He had been quietly concerned that the ward might reject him due to his slight magical affinity for Death magics. Something that had wormed its way into his magical core when he merged with the Deathly Hallows. He'd been worried that a poorly built ward would read it as necromantic energy instead. Then again, on reflection, Ignotius likely built the wards, so he'd have considered such things, having been an original owner of the Hallows, and likely having had the same magical affinity in his own core.  

Upon reaching the other end of the tunnel, the trio were held back as the guards spoke, and eventually the final gate ground upwards, allowing them passage out into what appeared to a rough looking, muddy castle courtyard.  

Despite the drab black everywhere, the bustle of activity in the inner courtyard of this fort or castle was a nice contrast to the frozen wilderness they left behind.  

They were held near the gate by some of the guards, and Harry suspected they'd be in for a bit of a grilling now. Looking around, Harry could feel a rising tension and suspicion in the air.  

The Lord Commander, Gulian Qorgyle, was pointed out by Ser Jorik, and Harry watched the man make his way over to them, while directing a few of his men one way or another on various tasks. Clearly a busy man,  

Qorgyle had a stern expression on his face. He seemed mightily displeased with the entry of strangers into his keep, and he did not hesitate to voice his disapproval.  

"You brought unknown outsiders from beyond the Wall into my Castle Ser Jorik?" Lord Commander Qorgyle ground-out in clear disapproval after receiving an initial briefing of the apparent circumstances. His eyes narrowed with anger.  

Ser Jorik bowed his head. "Aye Lord Commander. We thought it best to bring them here. They seemed in dire need of help", leaning in he continued a bit more quietly, "and they definitely seemed too daft to be left to their own devices beyond the wall." He glanced at the horribly lost strangers who were smiling and looking around curiously, seemingly oblivious   

"They told us they were heading to Winterfell. I'm not sure what Maester taught these lordlings, but I don't think they even knew what side of the wall they were on." He suggested, still a bit miffed by the whole thing.  

Lord Commander Qorgyle huffed, his gaze shifting to the trio. He'd led the Watch for more than a decade and had never heard such a story. He could imagine it being possible, but incredibly unlikely. He wasn't convinced by their story, and he was unsure as to whether they fell into the category of enemies, victims, or the increasingly more likely bucket of utter fools.  

In lack of a better solution, and given the winter was only just ending, it would seem he'd need to keep them here for now. The Lord Commander made a decision  

"You three will be held in the cells of Castle Black," he informed them coldly. "You will be provided with a basic meal and will keep quiet and stay out of trouble until we sort this out. My Commanders and I will decide what to do with you." Qorgyle was inwardly miffed that the trio seemed just as openly curious and un-ruffled being led to the cells, as anyone would be taking a tour of a flower garden.  

 Harry was quite pleased with how things were going. The questioning so far had been somewhat cordial if a bit short and cold, but the trio knew it could get worse if they kicked up a fuss. With that in mind, they'd just gone with the flow, following their captors, and curiously examining the first real castle they'd encountered in this new world..  

The trio were ultimately led to a large cell by a couple of the Brothers, where they were locked inside and left to their devices.  

Checking the coast was clear, Harry casually whispered to Sirius and Dobby. "That went pretty much exactly as we expected." Harry looked around, "thankfully it looks like the wards of the Wall don't extend to the castle itself. We're in a completely muggle enclosure." he concluded tapping the iron bars. "A simple first-year Alohomora would open the cell door."  

Sirius nodded but held a hand to pause Harry, "We don't want to draw more suspicion to ourselves. Let's see how this plays out first. They might have information we could use. We're still in need of a map after-all"  

Dobby, still disguised as a small man, nodded while quietly cleaning everything in sight. "Dobby agrees, we should be patient. We're not exactly in a rush" he said while polishing the bars surreptitiously. The floor was already much cleaner than when they'd entered.  

Harry couldn't really argue with that. What rush could they possibly have, and a map would be useful. He huffed and cast a cushioning charm on the stone floor. "Well I'll be napping then. Either until we get a visitor, or until night falls. If this is the castle of an ancient institution, I'm sure they'll have a library and records. We can go hunting for a map when most of them are asleep. He relaxed on the soft stone floor, tossing a few warming charms around the cell, and nodded off.  

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Ultimately they didn't do much more than laze about for the rest of the day. All three of them were actually quite pleased to get a bit of a rest day after so much hiking the muggle way. They'd even been stuck camping the muggle way with the Rangers. It was unpleasant. A rest day, despite involving a dungeon cell, was much appreciated.  

By the time they felt midnight had passed, the castle was eerily quiet, the cold was more apparent now, seeping through the cracks in the stone walls. The only sound being that of the wind buffeting against the towers of the keep. Harry cast some quick disillusionment and sound dampening charms on Sirius, and Dobby, before doing the same for himself, being the most adept at these spells from his time on the run.  

Harry cast a silent 'alohamora' to unlock the cell door and quietly pushed it open to take a look into the long, dark hall beyond. Thankfully, it seemed there were no obvious guards in the area. They were either more short-staffed at Castle Black than even the Thenns had thought, or the brothers of the watch didn't think the Trio were enough of a threat to warrant guards.  

Either way, Harry wasn't complaining. Any guard would have had a hard time spotting the trio in the dark with the concealment spells in place, but it was helpful there'd be no need to knock anyone out.  With any luck, their escape would go unnoticed until morning.   

"Alright, the coast is clear," harry whispered to his companions "remember, we want to find maps of the region if we can. Any books you see could also prove useful, but I won't hold my breath on finding anything substantial in a place like this."  

"Dobby saw an old man carrying documents up to the west tower when we came in this morning." the house elf offered helpfully. "Dobby only noticed because he was the only clean man in the courtyard."  

"Well that seems like as good a place to look as any, good work Dobby, let's head that way first"   

With Harry taking the lead, they moved cautiously through the dimly lit corridors of Castle Black, trying to avoid any patrolling Black Brothers. The castle was dark and cold, with the flagstone floor caked in mud, and the faint smell of dampness permeating the air.   

"It can't be very pleasant living here day-in day-out. This might explain how grumpy Lord Commander Qorgyle seemed," Sirius observed, not noticing Dobby silently casting cleaning charms on everything they passed, leaving a pristine hallway in their wake.  

Shadows danced on the walls as they navigated the maze-like structure, their breath actually visible in the frigid air. All except Harry's, who's connection with the Cloak Hallow made his invisibility spells  absolutely perfect.  

Taking the first set of stairs they found up to the second floor, into what looked like a better maintained, drier section of the castle, they silently moved around towards the tower on the western corner of the castle.   

Eventually, coming to the tower entrance, Harry cast another 'alohamora' to unlock the heavy wooden door, and pushed it open slowly, cringing as it creaked with the motion. Taking a peek into the room and seeing it was empty of Nights Watchmen, he quickly led the trio inside.   

"Jackpot" Sirius exclaimed slightly too loudly, looking around at what was clearly a small library, illuminated moonlight streaming through the windows. "No idea why they would need a library in this godforsaken place, but I'm not going to complain"  

"I can't imagine it was a recent addition, not with the state this castle is in. It must have been a holdover from when the Night's Watch was still an honourable pursuit. Some of these books look ancient." Harry noted with a smile playing on his face as he took in the surprisingly well stocked library.  

The room was small, but the walls were lined with rows of ancient, leather-bound books and scrolls, many of which seemed to have been untouched for centuries. Cobwebs adorned the corners of the ceiling, and a thick layer of dust coated many of the shelves.  

It looked like the whichever scholar or bookkeeper maintained the library had piled the oldest, most deteriorated tomes and scrolls together on a shelf towards the back, likely for future hand copying. Though it seemed they'd been waiting on that shelf for a while, he imagined the man must have been too busy to work on copying and restoration.   

Luckily, a quick reparo would do the job just as well, so Harry resolved to copy as many of those books as he could, before repairing the copy and storing it in his pouch for later sorting. He hoped to at least to avoid the inevitable loss of knowledge through simple deterioration.  

Running a hand over some of the precious tomes, Harry read out some of the titles, getting more and more excited as he did so. "Myths and Legends of the True North; Magiks of the Forrest; The History of Hardhome. This is brilliant! We can get a bit of a better feel for the history of the people in this region, and even better, maybe a head-start on learning some of their magics."  

Sirius snorted at the look of sheer glee on Harry's face, having learnt recently how much of a magic scholar his godson had become before going through the veil. "Right, well while you engage in the grand old Black tradition of stealing ancient magic tomes, Dobby and I will start looking for some maps."   

Failing to receive any sort of response from his godson other than a distracted wave of his hand, Sirius decided he'd better get to his own task. Looking around, he realised that he had also lost the attention of the excitable little elf, who was now on the other side of the room, frantically cleaning dust off rows of old manuscripts.  

Rolling his eyes at the antics of the other two, Sirius set about scanning the library for any relevant maps or texts on the geography of the region. In the end, this proved rather easy, as he found all the relevant maps and texts stored conveniently together on a shelf near the front of the room. The shelf and the documents themselves showed far more use than the rest of the library, more wear and less dust. Hopefully this meant there was some useful information here.  

Pulling out the most prominently placed scroll, and unrolling it on a nearby table, he found a large map of what must be Westeros. The map showed main thoroughfares, rivers, towns and castles. This was exactly what they needed, it wasn't overly detailed, but it would give them a direction at least.  

Continuing to browse through the documents, he also found an extremely old, highly detailed map of the Northern regions dubbed "Kingdoms of The North, The Vale, and the Narrow Seas". It was curious that the vastly more detailed map was by far the most ancient document in the set, but now was not the time to question this discovery. Sirius copied both maps and strengthened the copies with a reparo and some preservation spells to make them hardier and more suitable for the road.  

Sirius then finished by picking up and copying a number of other books that showed signs of being more commonly used. He had no idea what most of them would contain, but figured it was a good bet there would be something useful in there when they finally got around to sorting their loot.  

Done with his task, Sirius looked around to see Harry shrinking one last pile of copied books into and packing them away in an expanded pouch with a satisfied sigh.  

Dobby too, had just finished polishing the brass candle holders on the wall which now sparkled in the moonlight. The candle holders had been so dirty when they first arrived, that Sirius had thought they were made of iron. Come to think of it, they might have been made of iron when they walked in. Sirius wasn't entirely sure how house elf magic worked, but Dobby seemed happy with a job well done, which is all that mattered.  

Getting the attention of the other two, Sirius whispered, "I've got the maps. We'd better get a move on, before anyone notices we're no longer in the dungeons. Have you got everything you need?"  

"Yep, got everything that looked even mildly interesting, should be some interesting reads." Harry replied, patting the pouch on his belt. "Let's get out of here."  

As quietly as possible they retraced their steps through the dark, cold, and silent castle, taking care to re-cast their disillusionment and sound dampening spells to avoid detection.   

With their spells in place and maps securely tucked away, Harry, Sirius, and Dobby saw little reason to return to their cell. All were impatient to resume their journey south after their surprisingly comfortable relaxation day in the dungeons. With that in mind, they moved cautiously through the shadows, eventually reaching the staircase they used to get up from the dungeons.  

Locking back at his companions and motioning up the stairs, Harry whispered "If we head to the top of this tower, we should be able to fly out. That way they won't be able to track our path."  

"Great idea, I wouldn't mind one last look at the Wall from the air either. I always thought you Potters were a bit dramatic, but seeing what your ancestor built, now I know it to be a fact." Sirius replied, earning a snort from Harry as they made their way forward.  

Climbing the creaky, wooden stairs, they found themselves on top of what seemed to be the tallest tower in the castle. Though it was dwarfed by the monolithic wall of ice behind them. A panoramic view of the surrounding landscape unfolded before them, lit by the brightly glowing moon. The distant trees to the South were nothing more than silhouettes against the night sky.  

Harry pulled his Firebolt from his pack, and the three of them squeezed onto the broom, each re-casting warming spells with extra strength to deal with the inevitable frigid air of broom flight this far North.  

"I'm not sure I'd call it a daring escape" Harry said to the others after some distance was covered. "But it was a nice bit of fun regardless." Harry paused, "It's got nothing on stealing from Gringotts though" he finished. Sirius resolved to ask about this apparent Gringotts episode at some point.   

Now that he thought about it, Harry had mentioned Gringotts when he spoke about searching for Horcruxes, but he'd clearly not heard the full story. On that matter Sirius still hadn't got the story on how Harry ended up 'accidentally' riding a dragon. Just what on earth did his godson get up to over the last few years?  

As they flew southward, the landscape below them slowly transformed from icy wilderness to a more hospitable looking terrain dotted with lighter snow-covered forests and hills.  

Spotting a small clearing surrounded by tall trees, Harry steered the Firebolt downward, the trio landing as gracefully as possible. Quickly, they set to work establishing their campsite. Harry and Sirius began casting a series of protective wards around the perimeter, while Dobby set up the magical tent. 

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Another week had passed, and the lustre of rugged adventure seemed to have worn off with the never-ending hiking and flying. The constant cold and harsh landscape had taken its toll on their spirits. However, Harry eagerly anticipated the warmer weather that would soon arrive both as they made it further south, and as the winter faded further into spring. The warmer weather would allow them to fly for longer periods without worrying about their warming spells losing their effect. 

Bringing up his idle thoughts on the weather while they lounged by a small stream one afternoon, elicited a surprising response from Sirius. The man couldn't help but chuckle as he recalled and related a conversation he overheard in Castle Black. 

"So, Harry," Sirius began, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "apparently, a 'raven' told the folks at Castle Black that winter was coming to an end. Can you believe that?" 

Harry snorted, raising an incredulous eyebrow at the comment. "A raven? How on earth did a bird manage to tell them anything? And what would a raven know about predicting the weather anyway? I've spoken to plenty of snakes in the past and the most complex thought they've ever shared on the weather is that it's 'too hot' or 'too cold'. Never spoken to a raven though, maybe it's a thing around here." 

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, you know how it is with Muggles. They have their peculiar ways." 

Harry's eyebrow raised further, still sceptical. "But, Sirius, we're in a world with at least squib level magic users. We've seen it ourselves. How can you be so sure it's just a 'Muggle thing'?" 

Sirius shrugged, a not seeming particularly concerned with these 'muggles'. "I suppose we can't be certain. But it doesn't matter, does it? Though maybe we should be on the lookout for talking ravens in the next town, just in case." 

Harry shook his head, chuckling. "You're right. It's just so odd, but if there are talking ravens around here, I'd love to meet one." 

Dobby, who had been listening quietly, was pretty sure that he saw a raven carrying a message on paper for the Castle, but chose not to mention it, because the only thing less likely than a talking raven, was a raven that could write. But Dobby did commit to himself that he'd make sure to capture any talking ravens as a gift for his master, if he did ever encounter one. 

Instead, he jumped in with their hypothetical, "Dobby isn't sure, but Dobby thinks talking ravens would make good friends" he said with such seriousness that he had Harry and Sirius laughing, as they imagined Dobby with a small army of talking raven friends. Dobby went back to boiling the tea, pleased with his foray into joking with equals. 

The trio joked together, their spirits momentarily lifted by the absurdity of the conversation. The prospect of talking ravens and the promise of warmer weather gave them a renewed sense of adventure as they continued their journey, heading vaguely south and towards the coast. 

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Chapter 8 Teaser: 

"There is no food to spare for the town" Lord Bolton almost growled in a menacing whisper, causing the older man to step back slightly. "My larders are almost entirely bare as it is, and I'll not starve myself for the smallfolk. They should be thankful to have a roof over their heads and that is enough." 

... Dobby blinked in confusion, his brow furrowing as he tried to make sense of the situation. Had Lord Bolton simply misplaced or forgotten about this vast castle larder? It seemed like such an odd oversight for a man in his position. 

Nonetheless, Dobby resolved to help the clearly dotty but well-meaning Lord by relocating the food to the larder he had spotted in the centre of the town earlier today, where it could more easily be re-discovered, and distributed among the smallfolk. The lord would surely be happy that someone stumbled upon this clearly forgotten extra food and saved him the effort of transporting it into town. 

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