Chapter 6 — Into the Dungeon: First Floor

Editor: PROCRASTINATOR (I chose the name, not him hahahaha)

 

We began preparing to enter the dungeon. Since we were tasked with mapping the dungeon, we went to the conveniently placed Cartographer’s Shop.

 

“Out of business.”

 

Amazing.

 

“Well then, let’s go to the Merchants’ Guild.”

 

“They should have everything there. Why didn’t we just go there in the first place… It took us two hours to find this place!!!”

 

Not my problem.

 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

 

“Hello! Welcome to the Merchants’ Guild. How may I help you?”

 

This person is literally Celes but with glasses. What does Celes look like? Uhhh… didn’t I tell you? No? Well, she’s a brown haired dog/cat beastkin. I can’t tell which, the ears are that of a cat but the tail matches a dog. I’m too afraid to ask which one it is or if it is both… (A/N: Beastkin here are just humans with a few animal characteristics. Not literal animals walking upright. Those would be something else but I dunno what)

 

“I haven’t seen you here before. Would you like to register at the Merchants’ Guild? Benefits include a 1% discount on all transactions, a newsletter sent monthly to your home or guild inbox with business updates, and the ability to participate in events.”

 

This sounds like Earth. Well, whatever, let’s join.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Alright, then please fill out this form.”

 

The form was nearly identical to the Adventurers’ Guild. I put my Adventurers' Guild inbox as my mailing address.

 

“I see you have already registered in the Adventurers’ Guild. Please hand me your guild ID and I will update it to a multi-guild ID.”

 

I hand her my ID and it changes slightly. There’s now a label for the adventuring stuff and a label below for the merchants guild stuff. Merchant Rank F. Incredible.

 

“Your rank will increase as you use the guild. If you only use the guild to purchase things occasionally, your rank will likely not go up. Anyways, how may I help you?

 

“Can we buy some cartography supplies?”

 

Hm… I ignored Luna standing behind me… Well I suppose it just looks like she’s behind me in line.

 

“Sure thing. Do you need paper, pens, rulers, compasses, or anything else?”

 

They have pens here? Interesting.

 

“All of those please.”

 

“Alright. That will be 2 small silver coins.” (A/N: $100)

 

I pay and we leave.

 

“Luna, do you know how to use these? Because I don’t.”

 

“Yep! I’m actually pretty good at making maps. Can you not ignore me next time though?!”

 

“Sorry.”

 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

 

We’re at the dungeon entrance. 

 

“This is the dungeon.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“It looks like a cave.”

 

“That’s how it forms.”

 

“Oh… makes sense. Well then, let’s go.”

Walking up to the barrier, we encountered some guards. 

 

“Halt! Who goes there?”

 

“We’re here to map out the dungeon. Here’s the quest form.”

 

The guard looked everything over and yelled to another guard to get the captain. The captain arrived a bit later.

 

“So, you young ladies are the ones mapping the dungeon, eh?”

 

“Yep, that’s us! Here’s the quest form!”

 

“Everything looks in order. You may enter. Good luck in there!”

 

After passing through the cave for a while, we finally reached an open cavern. There was a massive door there.

 

“So… is the dungeon past this door?”

 

“Yep! Now, let’s enter!”

 

This looks like a stereotypical dungeon. Dark walls made of stone bricks laid out in a maze.

 

“Goblins spotted! Let’s kill them!”

 

Goblins? Easy. I ran up to them and slashed both of the two goblins’ heads off.

 

“Hey! Let me do something too!”

 

“Sorry.”

 

The corpses turned to a black gel and seeped back into the ground. All that was left were two stones and a few goblin ears.

 

Huh. This really is like a game.

 

“I’ll store the items. Let’s continue.”

 

After walking for a while, we came to the first fork in the road.  A room opened up with 6 exits from it.

 

“Which path do you want to take first, Luna?”

 

“Let’s take the leftmost one.”

 

The leftmost passage is really short, turning around a corner then having a chest.

 

“Let’s mark down the chest!”

 

“Wait. Let me poke it first.”

 

This chest is way too easy to get to. Very suspicious.

 

“Why…?”

 

“It could be a fake.”

 

“Eh?”

 

“Haven’t you heard of a mimic?”

 

“Eh?”

 

“Cultural differences, I guess…”

 

I step back and poke the chest with my sword.

 

“BLAAAARRRRAAAGGG”

 

Would you look at that? The chest becomes a very clear mimic. Long purple tongue, two gold eyes, and hundreds of pointy teeth. A rather troublesome shapeshifter.

 

“Ei! WHAT IS THAT?!?!”

 

“A mimic. Now we stab it.”

 

This time, Luna ran up to the mimic and began repeatedly stabbing it in the mouth with her sword. Take that you fake chest. It too dissolves into a black gel before seeping into the floor. All that was left was some teeth.

 

“So, you see why we should check every chest? That was a pretty weak mimic but I’d imagine they'll get stronger.”

 

“Ah… that was disgusting. I never wanna see one of those again.”

 

“I have a feeling you will. Let’s get going.”

 

We went down the next passage to the right next.

 

“We have another choice to make already… Well, let’s go to the right.”

 

“Goblins spotted! And a captain too!”

 

I dash up to the captain, impale it through the heart, and then throw it at the remaining goblins. Luna comes in with some ice magic and skewers all of the goblins and captain. They disappear, just like the rest.

 

“If there were stronger monsters here, does this mean we’re getting closer to the boss?”

 

“Possibly, but most likely not. I don’t see the characteristics of the next floor. It’s more likely to be a floor boss! Not the final boss! You can tell by the door. We’re allowed to kill floor bosses since they respawn as soon as the door closes!”

 

“Interesting.”

 

We continued down this passage for a while, following lots of branching paths and killing a lot of goblins. Like seriously a lot, 50 or more. We also found some real chests but we couldn’t open them.

 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

 

We began repeating this process with the remaining four passages.

 

“Huh. This passage looks different from the other ones.”

 

“It probably leads to the floor boss then. The next floor’s characteristics start to come through.”

 

This passage certainly looks different. Closer to a dense jungle, or I presume it will be at least. There are vines growing on the wall and the air is getting humid.

 

“Let’s go back here later then. We still have a few passages to explore.”

Skipping this one for now, we went down the next passage. It looked like a normal passage, so we continued.

 

“Another chest! Let’s mark it! Ei, check for traps!”

 

I have no idea how to check for traps. Roll perception? This isn’t a game. Well, I’ll try feeling the area with wind magic. Imagining a gentle breeze spreading through everything…

 

“[Breezy Eyes]”

 

A bit of a weird name, but whatever.

 

“I don’t sense anything within the walls.”

 

“Alright then I’ll mark that on the map!”

 

We’ve found surprisingly little chests. Maybe it’s because it’s the first floor?

 

“GREEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

 

A goblin jumped out to try and ambush us. I’ll admit I was a bit surprised, but goblins are weak.

 

“EI! LOOK OUT!”

 

Unfortunately for me, I’m not fast enough to doge because my reaction time is really slow. Fortunately, I have tier 10 enchantments. Take that you loser. The goblin’s dagger shatters on my cloak.

 

“L  + BOZO”

 

“Up spew fada?”

“Wrong language, sorry. It means ‘loser and clown’.”

 

Internet slang doesn’t work here. Oh well.

 

“Also, how and why did that dagger shatter?!?”

 

Did I mention I sliced the goblin’s head off?

 

“Ah… my armor is a bit strong.”

 

“A bit?!?!? Well, I guess I should be expecting that of you.”

 

I don’t think I can say that I have tier ten enchants. I’m only rank C…

 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

 

Well, time to go to the floor boss. The rest of the passages were extraordinarily uninteresting. We found a few chests, killed some more goblins, and a few captains too. It wasn’t much.

 

“Jungle floor, here we come!”

 

I’m excited. Oh. I’m falling.

 

*boomf*

 

“Ei! Are you okay?”

 

“I tripped on a vine…?”

 

“Are you sure? You don’t seem like the person to do that.”

 

“I’d agree with that statement, but it seems to have happened.”

 

As soon as I said that, Luna fell down.

 

“You definitely didn’t trip…”

 

“What was that!?”

 

Behind us, growing from a mass of vines, appears some big green mound. It seems to be shambling forward. 

 

“Ah! A giant plant! Let’s slice it and eat it for dinner!”

“I don’t think those vines would taste good…”

 

Still, it’s stabbing time. Or slashing time I guess.

 

“[Flame Tongue]”

 

I wrapped my glaive in a wreath of flames. Prepare to die, you massive plant!

 

“Luna! Shoot some fire at it and I’ll enhance it with wind magic!”

 

“I can’t use fire magic… or at least I never tried!”

 

“Swap roles then, ready?”

“Yep! Let’s go!”

 

“[Fireball]”

 

“[Gale Burst]”

 

Oh… so that’s how you use gale burst. Too bad.

 

*boom*

 

The shambling mound is distracted by the cloud of smoke created, so I charge through and slash it with my glaive. 

 

It was sliced in half, but the vines sewed it back together.

 

Eh? It’s no longer on fire? How?!? Did it move its vines into itself to extinguish them?

 

“This is troublesome. More fire!”

 

“[Fireball]”

 

“[Gale Burst]”

 

This doesn’t seem to be enough… I have an idea.

“Luna! Step back!” 

 

We need more powerful fire that lasts longer because this mound of plants is ridiculous. So, let’s try that. I conjure an image of a storm of fire, dying the world red with it’s power.

 

“[Hellfire Storm]” 

 

Around me the dungeon turns red. Luna, who was already far away, moves even further away. In front of me, several tornadoes of fire appear, and above them what looks like a hurricane of red flames appears.

 

“GTHAGGTHATHAC”

 

Weird noise. I mean, it is being tormented right now, with five pillars of fire circling around it.

 

Oh. I overdid it.

 

I melted the dungeon. Oh well.

 

“Ei! You did something ridiculous again didn’t you? That fire is as powerful as a royal mage! People can’t melt dungeons!”

 

Aaaahhhh… that might be a problem.

 

“Could you keep quiet about this please? I’ll go fix it.”

 

Using some earth magic, I created the walls again.

 

“...”

 

I think I broke Luna.

 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

 

After Luna recovered, we continued forward. 

 

“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYAAA”

 

A monkey appears in front of us. I thought there would be tigers or something.

 

“It’s a Bananarian!!!”

 

Monster: Sir Bananananananana the Banananananaanan the 8th (Bananarian, 0y)

Condition: Bananas

Status Ailments: Bananaboozled

Noteworthy Skills: Banana Magic Mastery

Info: A Bananarian gone bananas. Quite a bit stronger than your average one. 

 

The eighth one, huh? This dungeon must have been around a while. Also, what’s up with that name? Bananananananananananannanananana something??? And what is banana magic…?

 

“We’re stabbing it I presume?”

 

“Yep!” 

 

“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYAAA!!! [Banana Bnannan]”

 

A bunch of bananas shot at us. I guess this is banana magic?

 

*splat*

 

*splat* *splat* *splat*

 

That sounds disgusting. Let’s try to not get hit.

 

“[Windblade]!”

 

Luna created an opening. Let’s see if I can give this monkey a taste of his own medicine. How do I visualize a banana though? For now, I imagine a banana missile launcher from a certain game with zombies. Then, I imagine a giant banana spinning really fast before having it shoot out of the peal.

 

“[Ban the Bananas]”

 

The name isn’t serious… I mean you don’t need to say anything related to what you’re casting to cast something. It only helps.

 

A giant banana appeared in front of me and shot itself at the bananarian.

 

“IIIIIIYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?”

 

He seems very confused. I guess banana magic isn’t powerful.

 

“Take that! Hahah you show him Ei!”

 

“Banana magic is weird. Let’s end this. [Ice Lance]!”

 

I skewered Bananananananan’s (or whatever his name is) with a giant ice spike that broke apart a few moments later.

 

“That was a weird monkey.”

 

“What’s a monkey?”

 

Oh… I guess only bananarians exist.

 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

 

After walking for a few more minutes, we found the floor boss door.

 

“Well, let’s go in.”