412 - You Fall Beneath That Purview
"I realize that you wish to not be bothered," Shana continued as she straightened, turning her back to the basin to sit down in a more comfortable position, her gaze towards the entrance into the bathing area. "I understand you want to have as little as possible to do with the world."
In the silence of the empty baths, her quiet words echoed slightly. She laid down the glowing stone next to her, where it could cast its light towards the door without the radiance shining in her eyes.
"It's why I am here. It is why I am now managing our affairs and duties. I needed to be a Dungeon Binder, a functional Dungeon Binder, so now I am, barring occasional difficulties. And it is these difficulties I wish to discuss."
There was silence in the baths again.
"The disruptions caused when I am overwhelmed are unfortunate but manageable. Therefore, this recent issue that has arisen is concerning." Shana couldn't brace herself. There was nothing to brace with or against, no physical force for her with withstand. She arranged the sequence of her next words carefully before she said them, or even thought about them. "The children in our care are now free to return to River's Fork. However, it is not a permanent separation. There will be many opportunities to see them again. This is not a tragic event."
Shana paused for a moment, even if there wasn't really a need. She'd known what she was going to say even before the words had left her mouth. She was not one who spoke before she thought, and her mouth didn't work faster than her brain. A Dungeon Binder couldn't be so impulsive, after all. Binder Lori wasn't, her words and actions all clearly well-considered and planned.
"Yoshka leaving will not mean I will be al—"
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Her left arm rose and slapped her cheek hard, and she picked up her flow of thought where it had fallen. "I am not losing anyone. They will simply be absent and residing in another demesne. Yoshka leaving will not mean I will be al—"
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Her left arm rose and slapped her cheek hard, and she picked up her flow of thought where it had fallen. "I will not be alone," Shana reiterated. "Karina will be present. Koyan and Kayas will be present, should I allow them to continue their residency in my house after the children are no longer under our care. I will have several opportunities to visit River's Fork. Yoshka leaving will not mean I will be al—"
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Her left arm rose and slapped her cheek hard, and Shana shook her head, wincing. For a moment, silence filled the empty baths again, broken only by the sound of Shana's breathing.
"I will not drop the subject," Shana said eventually. "I respect the reasons that you are upset, but in this instance, they are unwarranted. Yoshka will not be dead. She will merely be absent from our sight. It will be no different from how she stays inside the dungeon while we are outside assisting with imbuing the crops in the fields. I do not become upset when Yoshka is separated from us during that time. Why are you reacting in this manner now?"
There was no answer as Shana sat next to the bath's central basin, her left hand raised where she could see it and slowly flexing the fingers open and closed. The movements were even and regular, not pausing as Shana watched her fingers.
"It is the same. Yoshka will merely be far from us, just as she was over the winter. I was not upset at being separated from her then. You did not even give the matter consideration when I left River's Fork to fulfill our agreement with Binder Lori." She waited a moment, but there was only silence. "You know I'm right."
The silence returned around her. Shana's eyes were starting to feel heavy again, the stimulation for the brief walk beginning to wear off.
Carefully, she stood up, shaking her head. She did not want to press the issue in that state. If she went '… … …' again now, she might fall asleep. Picking up her rock to let it light the way, Shana left the empty room.
In the anteroom with its empty shelves, she paused in the act of slipping her tsinelas back onto her feet. "Because one of my duties is to care for the children from River's Fork who are here alone," she said. "And you by definition fall beneath that purview."
She finished slipping on the woven reed footwear.
"Yes, a Dungeon Binder is not a child. However, I am the one fulfilling the duties of a Dungeon Binder. You are not."
Holding up the light in her hands she opened the door, sweeping the light and her eyes back and forth to check for chokers and other small beasts before stepping out and closing the door to the baths behind her. Shana made her way back to her house.
Closing the door behind her as she slipped inside quietly, Shana skirted the edge of the room, and placed the glowing stone back into her bath bucket before returning to the side of the bed. Carefully moving Yoshka's arm from where it had splayed in her absence, she lay down on her side, staring at her cousin in the dim light until her eyelids were pulled inexorably downward, and she was consumed by the darkness behind her eyes—
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Shana woke up early, as had become her regular routine, leaving the comforting void of empty, thoughtless sleep, and everything hurt all over again. Tota was dead. Tyatya was dead. Dyadya resented her. Mushka had grown distant. Yoshka was going to leave her, and she would be left all alone…
She lay on the bed, staring tiredly at the dark ceiling, tears starting to run down her cheeks as she took deep, deliberate breaths, hands folded over her stomach. With each breath, she felt magic filling her, enriching the life within her, energizing her thoughts to wakefulness, even if she didn't want it to…
She closed her eyes trying to ignore the world a little longer, ignore her pain, ignore herself…
Eventually, Shana opened her eyes again, wiping the tears from her face. She had work to do.
The rest of the day was unremarkable. She imbued the meanings that Wizard Taeclas tamed onto the crops, the two of them continuing to work to accelerate their growth. They had barely managed to harvest a third of the crops in the field, even while using their poles to tame and imbue as deeply into the crops as possible, but even so, Wizard Taeclas and the farmers had calculated that they would still be able to complete harvesting the fields early enough that they could do further harvests, even if not with the full field.
A portion of the field they'd already harvested had been replanted and was already growing green shoots. Wizard Taeclas had not yet tamed meanings onto the shoots, deeming them too immature, but the farmers were keeping them well-watered. Thankfully, they were not wanting for water despite the heat. The river was as high as ever, and still flowing strong. Lord Rian had told her he suspected that Lori's River— "Because it's probably only a matter of time before she starts calling it that,"—was a very long one, so long that it was possible that its source was somewhere that was receiving rain. Shana supposed that would explain it.
While it was usually too hot to work outside during the afternoons, there were some exceptions, and laundry was one of them. The presence of the water, the laundry area's location along the riverbank, and the way the open walls allowed the breezes to pass through meant it was always relatively cool, if humid. Because of the heat, there were usually several people there in the afternoons doing laundry, since the heat meant clothes on the washing lines would be dry well before the afternoon was over.
This afternoon, it was full of children doing laundry, with various degrees of success. To be more specific, many of them were trying to assist in doing laundry as Shana, Koyan, Kayas, some of the twins' siblings, and Ateh Mikon helped wash the children's clothes.
Shana assisted as best as she could, making sure that the clothes were grouped together by owner. In the beginning, she had tried to get the children involved in washing their own clothes, but that idea had been swiftly exiled from the demesne, since the children's assistance actually made things take longer. Thanking the women for their assistance always seemed ineffectual as she had nothing to recompense them for their time and efforts. At least this should be the last time, since the children would all be returning to River's Fork soon, and she would be all al—
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"—dy Binder? Lady Binder? Are you—?"
Her left arm rose and slapped her cheek hard, and she picked up her flow of thought where it had fallen. "I am well Koyan, Kayas," she told the two women, who had both stepped forward to try and catch her hand. they had once more been too slow, but she was grateful they continued to make the attempt. "My apologies for allowing my attention to wander. What did you wish to speak of?"
The two continued to look uncomfortable—most people would have had difficulty identifying their expressions, and would probably think they simply looked disgusted—but they didn't press the subject. No one did anymore.
"Uh, Lady Binder, what's going to happen to the two of us?" Koyan said, her finger flicking back and forth to point at herself and her twin. "Since you won't need us anymore."
Shana nodded. "I see no reason why you cannot continue to reside in my house," she said. "The same rules will continue to apply, however." The two women relaxed, looking glad that they wouldn't be asked to go back to live with their parents and siblings. "If that is all…"
Shana watched the two walk back with their sisters to the Dungeon, no doubt to return to weaving, before turning to head back to her house. At this hour, it was empty, which was the best time to sweep the floor. Despite best efforts, having several children coming in every night still tracked in dust. While they managed to limit that dirt around the vicinity of the door at night, it always found a way to spread. Their broom was made of bundles of straw from two harvests ago, something Rybelle was kind enough to make for her. It was better for sweeping than the broom made of beast feathers that had fallen into disuse. With the door closed and her glowing stone serving to provide her with light, Shana began sweeping, starting with the underside of the bed.
"It has been a day," she said aloud as she moved the bedrolls, blankets and pillows on the bed to her table—then had to take a moment to make sure the ink bottle was well stoppered and the pen and papers were put away—so she could carefully lift up one side of the bed to more easily sweep under it. "Are you ready to consider this situation calmly and rationally?"
Shana methodically swept the dirt under the bed, sweeping up some pieces of straw and bits of leaves that had made their may underneath. That done, she carefully set down the bed before beginning to systematically sweep around it.
"Even after the children leave, I will still have Koyan and Kayas with us. There will also be the children of the demesne to socialize with. Karina will always be present. Even you must recognize that she is a friend. I will hardly be in solitude."
She carefully swept the corner next to the bed, and dust that had been pretending to be part of the Whispered stone was revealed and drawn out, added to the dirt that would be exiled from her house.
"When the children return to River's Fork, I will not be alo—"
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Shana came back to her senses, sweat trickling down her brow and broom about to fall from her hand. She let out a sigh as she tightened her grip on the broom once more.
All the children in her care were good children, but even so, good children still managed to give her difficulties. And this one was being willfully petulant, it seemed.
"Yes, you are," Shana said absently as she began sweeping the corner next to her table. Thankfully, there was plenty of space under the table, which made her work easy. "Don't deny it. You are being deliberately petulant about this matter. Admitting you are incorrect about this matter does not invalidate your pain."
Resisting the urge to activate the bound tool to give herself a breeze—the moving air would spread the dirt around and make her work harder—Shana focused on cleaning her house. She would not have the children under her care residing in a clay pit.
Even when they were being petulant.
"Yes, you are."