Delusive Fate

#105

Choi Tae-hyuk, who had been continuously hugging Lee Han-sol without realizing he had completely calmed down, jolted up in surprise.

“Han-sol? Are you okay? Have you calmed down a bit?”

Lee Han-sol, who had been raging wildly just moments ago, was now quiet as if completely drained. Choi Tae-hyuk cautiously released his hold, but Han-sol remained face down on the floor, his forehead pressed against it, not even attempting to get up. The change was so dramatic that Tae-hyuk momentarily thought Han-sol might have died from shock due to extreme agitation, and frantically shook his body.

“Han-sol, Han-sol, wake up! You can’t die, you’re too young to die…!”

“We agreed to hang out together from now on. I was planning to build a Lego village with you, fold a thousand paper cranes, fly kites together…! My brother is the one who did wrong, so please wake up…!”

Choi Tae-hyuk was making absurd assumptions in his panic, and Choi Tae-hyun clicked his tongue in disapproval. Ppomi, who had been hiding under the sofa frightened by the commotion, slowly crawled out. The white dog crossed the messy living room and sniffed around Han-sol. Then, as if anxious, it whined with a pained sound. They say dogs can sense emergency situations, could Han-sol really be…? Growing increasingly worried along with Ppomi, Tae-hyuk called out “Han-sol!” once more and shook his limp, thin body.

“Fuck…”

“Han-sol, you weren’t responding or moving, so I thought you’d lost consciousness…!”

“…This is so fucked up. So annoying.”

Han-sol squirmed as if wanting to be left alone, muttering small curses. After that, a very faint mumbling followed, barely audible.

“What? What did you say? Han-sol, I can’t hear you well.”

Despite being cursed at, Tae-hyuk was simply relieved that Han-sol hadn’t collapsed or died, and he leaned in to listen. Small, intermittent sounds like breathing were faintly audible. It seemed like he was just talking to himself.

“Shut up… please be quiet. Don’t talk about him. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just trash. I’m like a piece of toilet paper someone used to wipe their ass and threw away, and that kind of thing can’t do anything. So I can’t do anything wrong either. I’ll just stay like this and die miserably. I won’t change anything. And just… just please don’t talk to me about him. Don’t do this to me, why are you doing this to me? Why only to me? Why are you telling me to do something again? I’m a pathetic idiot so just leave me alone. Someone, ah, just crush me… just mash me like porridge and scatter me anywhere to make me disappear. I don’t want to live. I wish everyone would die together. Humans all die anyway. But are we humans? Actually, we’re all trash. You stupid bastards all die together. Why, why, damn it. I’m sick of this. Which son of a bitch is choking me like this? I can’t breathe, I really can’t breathe…”

His voice was murmuring as he pressed his forehead against the hard wooden floor. Unlike the angry voice he had directed at Choi Tae-hyuk earlier, it was flowing very calmly, as smooth as expensive castella cake. As if he was quite accustomed to such self-talk, Han-sol continued speaking smoothly and comfortably.

“I want to cut Lee Han-sol’s throat. I want to cut it myself. I want to tear everything apart. I have to die. I just want to live… kill me, please save me, hyung, please don’t do this now, I’m begging you…”

Han-sol’s whispers were incoherent. It was unclear whether he was blaming someone, reciting some kind of personal mantra, or simply hating and cursing himself. The indecipherable nature of Han-sol’s whispers frightened Tae-hyuk.

Tae-hyuk had never seen someone so disgusted with life in all his years. To calmly list such self-destructive words to this extent. Han-sol seemed tired of everything, including himself, like someone who genuinely wanted to be done with everything right at that moment. It was an eerie feeling that belonged in nightmares. The fact that this was reality for Han-sol made Tae-hyuk feel strange.

After hesitating briefly, Tae-hyuk helped Han-sol to his feet. Choi Tae-hyun, who had been quietly observing the scene, made a face like he’d stepped in something foul and snorted, “Are you two crazy lovebirds getting along? Two weirdos getting married and having kids would be quite a sight. Why don’t you just reunite?”

Before a second round could break out, Tae-hyuk quickly led Han-sol to the entrance. Han-sol moved his legs sluggishly, as if all his strength had left him. Ppomi kept clinging to Han-sol’s calves, seemingly concerned about his weak gait.

Anyway, Tae-hyuk hurriedly bundled up Han-sol. Perhaps because of the strange feeling he had earlier, it just seemed like the right thing to do. He covered Han-sol’s body with his own coat, removed the slippers he was already wearing, put fur boots on him, and though they might be a bit loose since they were his own shoes, the place was close so he wouldn’t fall on the way, right? After a moment’s consideration, he took Han-sol and Ppomi outside.

“I’m sorry about today. I didn’t know Tae-hyuk would act like that… If I had known you two knew each other, I would have been more careful.”

“……”

“Oh, right. I’m changing my house password today and I’m not going to tell him. I’ll send only you the new password in a message later, so come again tomorrow. Um… Han-sol.”

Tae-hyuk unnecessarily prolonged the conversation in front of Han-sol’s house, and eventually placed Ppomi in his arms.

“You said you don’t like being alone. Today, stay with Ppomi. Come together tomorrow. I’ll be waiting.”

Feeling that leaving Han-sol alone now might lead to something terrible, Tae-hyuk thought about it all the way back home. Somehow Han-sol felt like an animal that had been abused for a long time. If his constant anger was actually due to that… like an abused dog that barks at even the sound of wind… Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that Han-sol overlapped with Ppomi in his mind. Tae-hyuk now genuinely wanted to know.

“Choi Tae-hyun, tell me quickly why you did that to Han-sol. Before I really get angry. What exactly is your relationship with Han-sol?”

About Han-sol. Han-sol’s unhappiness, whatever had derailed him, the world he lived in.

To this, Choi Tae-hyun responded indifferently.

“Hyung.”

“Yes.”

“I can’t accept that trash.”

“What?”

“He’s a bad guy. Drop your interest.”

“You know Ki Baek-woo too, right? Ki Baek-woo and that guy were dating. They’ve been living together in A District for a long time. Well… they’ve lived together since they were very young, apparently… They have their own cliché narrative, but that’s not our business. Anyway, the important thing is that when that bastard ran away in the middle of the night, Ki Baek-woo became a complete wreck. He’s the kind of scary bastard who can ruin someone’s life in an instant.”

“And because that bastard turned Ki Baek-woo into a mess, I’m doing twice the work. I’m busting my ass because of him, and after creating that situation… he’s fooling around with a new man here? And that happens to be my slow-witted brother. How am I supposed to tolerate that?”

Choi Tae-hyun, who had been casually rambling, picked up the game controller he had tossed aside. He continued:

“You know I get angry when I see deficient people. Maybe that’s why I can’t let Ki Baek-woo or that bastard off without a confrontation.”

***

“Again?”

“I heard he was in the recovery room until this morning. That’s what I heard. Is it okay for him to be moving around like this now?”

“What can we do when he’s acting like that? It’s better for your wellbeing to just give up and ignore it. He doesn’t respond no matter what we say anyway.”

“He looks really unwell… is he really going to die like this?”

The scene at the outskirts of A District, ahead of an A-grade gate raid, was busy. Researchers in white gowns and staff from the Central Center field support team in green work clothes were all moving hurriedly, each throwing in a comment. The glances were directed at Ki Baek-woo, who had just appeared at the base camp.

S-class Hunter Ki Baek-woo, a valuable national asset and a world superstar. Once praised as both handsome and strong, he now looked terrible just at a glance. He was in such a mess that no one would be surprised if he collapsed right away.

Recently, Ki Baek-woo had been participating in raids without rest, but it wasn’t because someone ordered him to—he was just repeating this behavior on his own. He kept entering gates that weren’t even assigned to him, continuing to fight destruction alone, as if in a rage. As if he were destroying not the monsters but himself, overworking himself.

Ki Baek-woo seemed like he wanted to die. After finishing a raid, he would be forcibly admitted to a recovery center, only to step into another gate as early as half a day later, or at the latest, three or four days later. Before his previous injuries could heal, he would sustain new wounds elsewhere, and then more injuries on top of those. His deepening wounds were getting worse. His once sculpture-like body was being ruined.

In fact, even before reaching that point, his body was already deteriorating from the inside. Even for an awakened person, using special abilities put a great strain on the body, and if the accumulated fatigue wasn’t resolved in time, hunters would die. Such deaths were called self-destruction or runaway. And Ki Baek-woo was moving relentlessly as if that’s exactly what he wanted. Even now.

Ki Baek-woo was in a disheveled state, making it obvious that he had come here almost immediately after his previous raid ended. His black combat uniform was covered in dirt and dust, and the wound on his cheek hadn’t even scabbed over yet. Moreover, his left arm was in a cast. In this state, Ki Baek-woo was making everyone sick of him. No one understood his actions. Rumors were spreading everywhere, along with the name of C-class Hunter Lee Han-sol, that he had been betrayed by the person he was dating, abandoned mercilessly, but no one sympathized.

No matter how much he loved him, isn’t this too extreme? Whether it was ghosting or a rebound breakup, it would be shocking, but why go this far because of that? Isn’t it a bit creepy if there’s no other reason? But haven’t there been rumors about Hunter Ki Baek-woo having a good atmosphere with Healer Jung Yi-dam lately? Be quiet. I heard Hunter Ki does strange things these days just at the mention of Healer Jung’s name.

What was clear was that Ki Baek-woo was not in his right mind and didn’t listen to anyone.

“Hunter Ki Baek-woo, why are you here again?”

At that moment, Hunter Im Sang-tae, also dressed in combat uniform, appeared from somewhere and nudged Ki Baek-woo. Ki Baek-woo seemed dazed and showed no reaction.

“I heard your previous raid ended yesterday. They said your arm was shattered, what are you going to do here in that condition? Are you really trying to die? You can’t even open your eyes properly, are you just going to go in like that?”

“……”

“Is shaking your head all you can do? Can’t you just go home instead of making us anxious about you dying? We already have an S-class on our team. Hunter Choi Tae-hyun is on the official roster. So we don’t need you at all, Hunter Ki.”

Ki Baek-woo ignored him and just kept pressing his temples. Im Sang-tae sighed deeply at the sight, then spotted someone and shouted.

“Hey! Hunter Choi! Come over here.”

Choi Tae-hyun was walking casually when he saw Im Sang-tae and frowned. As if trying to ignore him, he turned his head, but then hesitated when he saw Ki Baek-woo standing next to Im Sang-tae.

“Have a talk between S-classes! You two would understand each other better than I would. Let’s send Hunter Ki home, shall we?”

“Hunter Im, am I some kind of garbage collector now? Don’t pretend to know me for things like this in the future, okay?”

Choi Tae-hyun approached with his habitually arrogant manner. Despite his pretense of dislike, his expression showed interest.

“Hunter Choi wouldn’t want to clean up a corpse either. Hunter Ki came today with his arm messed up too.”

“Ah, our Hunter Ki Baek-woo. You’ve messed up your arm too… As a fellow hunter, this is truly a tearful scene. It’s so sad, what can I do?”

“……”

“He doesn’t answer, how rude. No wonder the C-class is already sleeping with someone else.”