Dear My Knight

2. Rachel Cardia – (11)

***

Only awkward silence settled in the space.

As if it was like that from the beginning. Neither Rachel nor Ed said anything.

Rachel, who distanced herself from Ed with a flushed face as if confused, didn’t say much as she stared at the bonfire she had lit for no reason. Even Ed, who hurriedly put on his clothes again after Rachel fell off, blushed and looked at Rachel. Reluctant to face

“… ….”

Uncomfortable with the silence that followed, she opened her mouth for a moment and tried to get her words out, but in this situation, she wondered what to say, so she only swallowed her saliva and pursed her lips.

Should I be angry with myself now?

Or should she ask herself why?

Many words came to her mind, but in the end she couldn’t get any of them out.

A series of situations that happened a moment ago continued to come to mind clearly even if I tried not to be conscious of them.

She suddenly pushed herself and climbed onto her own.

Threatening her life by choking her. Her sudden undressing of her own.

Since then, she has been gently caressing herself with her hand gestures… Even her red hair brushing her body.

It was something she hadn’t even thought of, and even though she was beaten, she didn’t even know what to say.

It was just that each and every scene of Rachel was vividly circling in her mind, just as the actions she had taken toward her were all imprinted in her mind.

She was definitely in a dangerous situation, and she is now, no matter what she says…. But she was so offended that she couldn’t easily say anything.

“Whoa.”

A sudden sigh from Rachel stopped Ed.

“Forget it.”

Following Rachel’s words, her Ed’s gaze naturally turned to her.

Rachel is just staring at the bonfire that is still burning. She didn’t give Ed her attention.

Rachel’s face reflected in the bonfire.

Was it the light of the bonfire that made her face so red, or did she tell herself that… Maybe it was because she acted, she didn’t even make a proper judgment about her appearance.

“I know how cowardly I am. But it really hits you… Or I really had no intention of forcing you to do anything.”

Rachel is quiet, slowly following her words, but she also has a subtly low tone.

And at her words, Ed naturally had no choice but to think of it again.

Threatening her own life by strangling her, and… She seemed to be forcibly attacking her, and even those actions came to her mind as if they were all being retold.

“The reason I killed the priest was to leave no aftertaste for her. I don’t trust people with simple words.”

Rachel, who continued to speak in a trembling tone, seemed to be regretting something about her.

She wasn’t like Rachel more than anything. Now, she had only been together for more than a day. She was rather embarrassed when she, who always spoke her words briefly, continued her words as if she suddenly hinted at her intentions.

“To you, that kind of me must have looked like a radical act. No… Well, it’s true that it’s actually radical.”

Rachel cut her off with a small laugh as if laughing, moving a small stick as if rummaging around her bonfire.

Rachel, who continued to touch and rummage around her bonfire as if hesitating about something, suddenly lifted her head and looked at her Ed.

She flinched at the sight of Rachel looking at her for a moment, but Ed just faced her Rachel without saying anything.

As if she was curious about what Rachel would say next.

Rachel couldn’t bear to look at that untainted, clear gaze. Rachel turned her attention back to the campfire.

‘How…… You can look at me with those eyes.’

It’s not enough that her life is threatened, she almost jumps at herself, and after a while, she looks at herself as if nothing is wrong.

Her face, reddened by her own actions just a few minutes ago, reminded her of the face of a man stained with shame.

She forced herself to molest like… She couldn’t understand the psychology of the guy who was being bullied, but she flickered at the guy’s red-hot face for no reason.

But that’s just a moment. I remembered the image of the guy telling me to stop.

Her fearful eyes were very pale, so I couldn’t tell her exact intentions. It was clear that she didn’t want him either.

And despite all of that, the guy didn’t say anything and just calmly listened to himself.

“I don’t trust people.”

A glance.

Rachel continued to look at him without Ed knowing.

“Do you believe the person who told you?”

She continues to feel the gaze on her as she slowly brings out her words from within.

She recalls the memories she doesn’t want to remember even now, and to convey her will to the guy as if she were confessing something. She recalled one by one the memories she didn’t want to recall, probing her own past, which she hadn’t told anyone.

Rachel, with a slight frown on her face, opened her mouth heavily without even realizing it.

“17 Years old. Yes Ed, he was the same age as you now.”

Rachel, who was rummaging around her bonfire as was her habit, let go of her stick and smiled.

“Even then, I lived as a mercenary. And because I was confident in my skills, I was able to quickly raise my rank. And it wasn’t long before I was doing things with people I thought I could relate to.”

Rachel’s voice, which continued slowly, was deep.

“And I, who had just received the Silver Shield, had a request with them around that time.”

“It was a subjugation of a group of hobgoblins. It was a quest that was not very difficult for me, who had risen to the silver plate with the person I thought of as a colleague at the time. No, considering the colleagues at the time, it was a rather easy request.”

Rachel, who continued to open her mouth in a subdued voice, suddenly looked at her Ed.

Still clear eyes.

Pristine purity.

She stood beneath her disheveled blond hair, staring into her clear blue eyes, and she felt the sultry emotion that filled her own breast fade, albeit for a moment.

“Maybe it was the second night. She set a night watch and went to sleep, but that day made me feel strange.”

Kwajik.

The sound of the sticks rummaging around the bonfire shattered and echoed through the space.

Like Rachel holding on to the broken stick.

I gave strength and held it over and over again.

It was clearly unnatural in his grip to hold her stick until it turned to powder.

“Perhaps my ears were awake that night. It was early morning, but I heard a small whisper around the tent where I was sleeping.”

“This is obviously too small. Is there something strangely stuck in my ear?”

“And when I opened my eyes, my colleagues with unfamiliar faces were opening my tent and coming inside.”

She brushed her hands over the bonfire, as Rachel brushed off the shavings of sticks she held in her own hands after her pick laugh.

Then, Rachel turned her head to face Ed’s blue eyes looking at her, and then she kissed her lips softly.

“Hey, what do you think happened next?”

Ed involuntarily grabbed his hand.

As if tempting yourself. A roaring voice.

I wondered if a human voice could sound so sweet, it sounded soft enough that I couldn’t feel it as Rachel’s.

“… What happened?”

Rachel, who heard Ed’s hardened voice, smiled lightly, conscious of it as if it was nothing special.

Seeing her look as if she was trying to pretend to be calm, Ed swallowed a sigh that seemed to leak out.

“Quickly, at the same time as I grabbed the sword, one of them threw it as if breaking a potion, and suddenly my vision was blurred, right?”

“In my blurry vision, I continued to cut down people I believed in. In an instant, my leg tripped and I fell.”

There was no emotion in Rachel’s voice as she continued her words with her calm expression.

As if he had consciously killed his emotions.

Ed remembered that killing her mind before committing suicide at the moment.

Why did I get that feeling from Rachel talking casually with her calm expression….

“I could see clearly even when I hurriedly rolled on the floor and got up.”

“I had met him several times, but he was smiling with a strangely unfamiliar expression.”

“I wondered where she was smiling, so I turned her head away. I saw my body not properly dressed in my sleep.”

After her words, Rachel gave a sudden giggle and picked up another stick that was around her campfire.

She gripped the rod as if slowly grasping it, and at the same time it snapped, and the rod shattered again.

A thump and cracking sound continued between the broken sticks, as if they had continued to apply force.

“After that, it was a struggle to the death, I don’t think there is a better expression than that. When I die, I die, because I had no intention of rolling around with them or being humiliated.”

“Now that I think about it, they seem to have been caught off guard, and they seem to have the idea that they can take down a mercenary who has just risen to silver plate with their own hands.”

Rachel smiled her pick and slowly stroked her own cheek.

Like caressing her own scars. Her Rachel, who had touched her cheek for a moment, looked at her Ed.

“Aren’t you curious about how this scar came about?”

“No, not at all… I wasn’t curious.”

“Why? I thought I would be the first to be curious.”

Ed shook his head, stiffening his expression at Rachel’s curious question.

“Because talking lightly about hurting someone hurts that person.”

She said it as if it were natural, and Rachel looked at Ed with her eyes wide open.

Silence, not a momentary silence, covered the space.

Rachel, who was just staring at Ed’s blue eyes, blurted out her words.

“… You are really amazing.”

After her words, Rachel paused and looked at her bonfire.

And the silence was short, and soon Rachel’s voice calmly settled in the space again.

“After that… I suffered several wounds, including the scar on this cheek, but I was able to kill them all with my own hands.”

“At that time, I was obviously angry, but I felt strange. That’s when I realized how hard it is to kill someone I trusted.”

“No matter how disgusting it is and I should have killed them, I end up killing them. I felt dirty. They were people I believed in for a moment, but seeing dead bodies made me feel so strange.”

“I don’t know how many hours I retched there. I’ve seen dead bodies countless times, and I didn’t care too much about someone dying, but it made me feel strangely bad.”

Ed just listened to her calmly continued words.

She didn’t ask about anything in particular, and she didn’t even nod her head in agreement with what she was saying.

I just literally listened to what she was saying.

Anyway, only the other person knows about the pain of others.

She herself could not understand, nor should she have tried to understand.

As if only she knew the pain she had been through. I didn’t want anyone to understand.

The reason he didn’t want anyone to understand the pain he went through was also Ed’s heart that he didn’t want anyone to feel the pain contained in it.

“And after half a day has passed, they collect each and every item they have. There were all sorts of things.”

“A potion that interferes with mana utilization, starting with a rope made from ogre sinew. And what a terrible aphrodisiac it is, to the point of fainting when you smell it.”

Rachel paused her words for a moment and repeated her mouth several times as if she couldn’t bear to get her next words out.

Even so, she continued to glance at Ed and opened her mouth with a small smile as if she was ashamed of Rachel in her eyes.

“You said my consciousness was blurred at first. After killing them all, I had no choice but to realize. The first thing they threw at me was like a terrible aphrodisiac.”

At the end of her words, Rachel giggled and held her breath as she stroked her face for a moment, then she looked at Ed and opened her mouth.

“… How many times have you been alone among those corpses? … I don’t know if I masturbated.”

Ed, who had been silently listening to Rachel’s words, had no choice but to turn his gaze away from Rachel at the sound of her small voice.