DC:The Darkest Knight

"What are you doing here, Death, and why are you my wife?" I asked Death of the Endless while resting my head on her lap. I still found it hard to believe she was my wife, but I wasn't unhappy about it. In fact, just knowing she was my wife felt like I could ascend to Nirvana.

"I'm here because I choose to be, and I'm your wife because I love you. You can call me wife, Teleute, or even Tel for short, but please stop calling me Death. It makes it seem like we had a fight and you're upset with me," she said, feeding me an apple slice with her bare hands, even though she usually wore black gloves.

"But why do you love me? As far as I know, this is our first meeting," I replied, savoring the sweetest apple slice I had ever tasted,since she was the one feeding it to me.

"We actually met in your first life, many times. You were a terrible husband, cheating on me repeatedly, hehe," she laughed softly, which sounded like a heavenly melody as she playfully slapped my chest.

"Oh, your heart is beating really fast, my dear. You should calm down," she said, placing her hand on my chest.

"Nah, I don't think my heart will ever beat normally when I am around you. Never mind my heart, it already belongs to you. Just tell me, why do you love me?"

"Always the charmer, hehe. I fell in love with you after all those years we spent together while you looked for a way to cure the Joker toxin. At first, I was just curious about your quest, but as we traveled together, I started to like you. Eventually, I fell in love. Just because I'm Death doesn't mean I can't love," she said, her smile never fading.

I felt bad for doubting her feelings. Since she is death, many people, especially those who fear or don't understand her, see her as a heartless monster who takes away life, their most precious possession.It's ironic because she embodies both life and death.

while I'm not the man she fell in love with, but just someone who has the same soul or something. But who am I to complain about having such a perfect wife.

"You are right, I'm sorry, but will you be okay? Like you being here or altering reality to make me your husband."

"You don't have to worry, your little pretty head, darling. Unlike my sister's and brother's, I'm not bound by any rules but my own. I am the only one that is unbowed, unbent, and unbroken," she said, playfully tapping my nose with her finger.

"Also, here, take this. It's your 'golden finger,' and the password is BruceloveTeleute," she said, handing me a black phone.

"We're not in the dark multiverse, right? Since I'm the reincarnation of the Who Laughs," I asked as I took the phone. It looked like a regular smartphone with a golden Batman logo on the back. I unlocked it and checked the contents. After browsing for a bit, I found nothing unusual. It had all the standard apps and WiFi. The only odd thing was an infinite symbol next to the battery instead of a number.

"Don't worry, we aren't," Teleute said with a smile as she looked at me.

"Hmm." I nodded and opened the search engine. 'Deathstroke serum, since I'm in the DC universe, it's easier to find this than to create a super soldier serum, but I should also work on the SSS,' I thought while searching online.

"It's not an omnipotent tool, hubby. It's just an ordinary, indestructible phone that is connected to your previous world, and you are the only one who can use this phone."

"So you're just giving me profound meta-knowledge, but I only got Batman's skill, not his intelligence. While I'm a smart guy, compared to geniuses in DC I'm just a dum dum."

"Hmmm, you have a point... very well, since you'll need high intelligence to reach your goals, and since you are Batman, I will grant you the intelligence of Batman from the 853rd century," she said, lightly tapping my forehead.

'Woahhhh, what in the actual fuck is going on!?' I thought as time seemed to slow down and my mind felt like it was bursting, as if the universe was being created and destroyed at the same time inside my head.

"ARRGHHHH, IT HURTS!" I screamed in agony, clutching my head as blood started to flow from my nose, ears, and eyes.

"It's okay, my love, I'm here," Teleute said, gently massaging my head as the pain began to subside.

"Haaahh, this is the second headache I've had today." I exhaled deeply and rested on her lap.

"But this is the only time I will ever help you. Even if you die, which is better for me since I'll just take you with me.We can guide souls until the universe ends, then we'll turn off the lights and lock the universe behind us as we go. After that, who knows? We'll see when it happens, " Teleute said, bringing me out of my brain ecstasy.

"From now on, I'll just be your supportive, normal, loving wife, Teleute Wayne," she said, giving me a gentle kiss on the forhead.

"I already have you as my wife. You are everything I wanted and more. What else could I want?" I replied, sitting up to hug her.

'Maybe some of the Gotham villainesses, like Ivy or Harley,' I thought as Teleute looked at me with a meaningful smile.

After a while of hugging, I missed her thighs, so I lay back down on them and checked my search results.

So the serum's name is ACTH derivative, which allows Deathstroke to use 90% of his brain functions, which I already know about from my previous life. Let's see what else, accelerated healing, decelerated aging, and strength, sense, speed, blah blah, the classics... Oh, it looks like he also has some of the serum since on this page there is an image of him giving it to his daughter and Cassandra Cain. After creating nanobots, I should send them to search for Deathstroke and obtain the serum,' I thought as I turned the phone off for the time being.

"Oh, by the way, what is today's date?" I asked her since the phone didn't have a calendar.

"It's 2007," she replied.

"What the... I thought Bruce Wayne was born in the 90s," I said, looking puzzled.

"I changed it. I thought it would be nice for you to be in the 21st century since you're from there. Do you want me to switch it back?" she asked, tilting her head.

'Ahhh, cuteness overload,' I thought, holding my chest. "Nah, that's fine. Thank you for thinking of me."

Being in 2007 has more advantages than disadvantages for me since technology is more advanced, which allows me to access more resources when I'm creating something. The internet is more advanced, allowing me access to more information. And with the right way of using those two, one can rule the world.

"By the way, where is Alfred? I thought the perfect butler would be here," I asked her.

"Oh, he was actually here last night, and he has never left your side since you were admitted to the hospital. But I managed to convince him to go home and rest. Poor man, he was devastated when he learned what happened to your parents... But he should be here soon since the hospital let him know. While we wait, let me tell you about the time I played cards with an old lady in exchange for her life," she said, gently stroking my hair.

I closed my eyes, enjoying her warm touch as I began to get my now ultra super mega brain in order while waiting for Alfred.