Daomu Biji: Restart

I slept with Uncle Two that night. He slept like a zombie and didn’t move at all. As I lay there, I couldn’t help thinking to myself, how many things does he have on his mind to be sleeping as straight as a ruler?

My nose was full of smoke and I couldn’t sleep comfortably, but fortunately, the mountain air in Fujian was good. I still felt refreshed even though I slept less than six hours. Uncle Two had gotten up early, and when I went out, I saw him chatting and giving red envelopes (1) to the neighbors.

As soon as I came out, the aunt next door greeted me affectionately and brought us a breakfast that consisted of two eggs, a bowl of rice congee, and some pork chops. When I saw this treatment, I squatted down in the yard to have breakfast with Uncle Two. I didn't know what he had said to her, but she was so happy that she looked like she was about to take flight.

After cleaning up, we hit the road again and went to the seaside first. In town, we met the expert Uncle Two had mentioned, who had just arrived. He was wearing a suit and pulling a suitcase behind him, looking as if he had just landed for a business trip. The suit was very high-end and he was wearing black-rimmed glasses. His watch didn’t have diamonds on it, but it was big and didn’t look cheap at all. He was just starting to loosen his tie when he saw us. "I just came back from a business trip and didn't have time to change," he said to Uncle Two.

As Uncle Two introduced me and I nodded at him, Fatty whispered to me, "Be careful. I know this person. He’s not easy to mess with."

Who is this expert? I wondered. How can I not know someone in this industry that Uncle Two and Fatty know?I’ve never met an expert dressed like this. When I asked Fatty for details, he said that this guy wasn’t actually in the business. He did everything and understood everything, but always seemed very pessimistic. He was called Liu Sang.

He was a talented newcomer who could handle any kind of underworld business (2). Although he seemed mature, it was said that he was born in the ‘90s. Even though he wasn’t trained for it, he started dabbling in antiques and a grave robber in Xi’an took him in. People said his ears were particularly accurate.

Now that tombs were becoming more and more difficult to find, all kinds of people were coming out of the woodwork, saying they knew special ways to find tombs. Many of them were liars, but this guy was said to have real skills at a reasonable price.

As he took off his suit and put on a T-shirt and jeans, I suddenly found that he was similar to us. Clothes really make the man, I said to myself.

When we got in the car, the man took out a bunch of phones from his backpack and lined them up on the dash one by one. There were more than a dozen of them, and they all had the weather forecasts of the coastal towns pulled up.

"Is there any thunder?" Uncle Two asked.

Liu Sang shook his head and swiped his fingers across every screen. When they all showed sunny forecasts, Liu Sang said, "Come on, Uncle Two. I can’t take your money if it’s sunny. I’m going back."

"No," Uncle Two said. "The weather here changes fast. Even if we have to wait until thunder comes, we will."

Fatty whispered, "Grandson, you didn’t bother checking before you took this job and waited until you came? You definitely have a plan. Don’t pretend to be the Big Bad Wolf. The old man doesn't understand your routine, but I do."

Liu Sang's face changed when he finally noticed Fatty, "Why do you always appear everywhere, Fat Master?" As he spoke, he happened to see Poker-Face. His whole body suddenly trembled, his face turned red, and he swiftly turned around, looking embarrassed.

I looked at Fatty and asked, "What's wrong with him?"

"Ignore him,” Fatty said. “He’s a fan of our Little Brother. I know him because he had someone ask me for Little Brother's autograph before."

Fan? Poker-Face was able to have fans even though he lived in the mountains? Just as I was telling myself how strange it was, I saw Liu Sang secretly take out his phone and snap a picture of the backseat.

****

TN Notes:

(1) Monetary gift which is given during holidays or special occasions such as weddings, graduations, or birth of a baby. It’s also gifted when a person is visiting as a gesture of kindness for visiting (which is what Uncle Two is doing). More info here.

(2) It really said “the eight outer professions”, which was basically the eight professions in the underworld: grave robbers, fortune-tellers, bandits, pirates, thieves, beggars, etc. Liu Sang is basically a Renaissance man/jack-of-all-trades.