Daomu Biji: Restart

The heavy rain was endless and Poker-Face's dark green poncho reflected the light from the lightning strikes. It looked bulky, cold, and gloomy, and I couldn’t help but think that all he was missing was a kitchen knife. After Fatty saw him clearly, he wiped his face and scolded, "You almost scared me to death, Little Brother. Can't you buy something cute?"

I pulled him off the ground and asked Poker-Face, "Why are you here?"

Fatty tutted and said to me, "Because I’m so wise. I called him up when we were in Nanjing. I’m not unreasonable like you. I was putting on a show for you earlier, but I didn't expect him to come so quickly."

I glared at Fatty while thinking to myself, you're such a loser.

Fatty turned to Poker-Face, "Damn it, this tomb is small and broken and there’s still a ghost inside. It even knows Mr. Naïve and keeps calling his name in a lewd manner. Little Brother, what do you say? Why don’t we go back inside and shit on his head?"

As soon as we finished speaking, we heard the sound of "Wu ~ Xie ~ Wu ~ Xie ~ Wu ~ Xie ~" coming from the nearby forest. Fatty looked at Poker-Face, "Fuck, it followed us out. Did Little Brother bring my stuff?"

Poker-Face pulled his backpack off, unloaded our equipment, and then threw our things to us. Once Fatty got his hands on his stuff, he immediately became more spirited. He took out his old engineering shovel and went over to the bushes in the forest that were shaking. He was just about to start swinging when an old man came out of the forest.

It was Old Jin.

When he saw Fatty, he immediately shrank back and started scolding, "Shit, Fatty, are you crazy? Why do you always want to fight every time we see each other?"

Fatty pulled him out of the bushes and started cursing him, "What the fuck are you doing here? I was wondering why that cry was so lewd, but it just turned out to be a bastard like you. Not to worry, there are many graves here. It’ll be convenient to bury you."

Jin Wantang wiped the water off his face and immediately smiled, "Fat Master, I have something to say. Not only did I never receive the money that Master Three owes me, but Little Master Three has now taken the land back. I’ve lost on both counts. It looks like you all have come out of retirement, so you have to count me in. I want a share of whatever you find."

"Who said we came out of retirement?" I looked at Jin Wantang, who immediately looked at Fatty.

Fatty suddenly became embarrassed and scolded him angrily, "Shut the fuck up. We’re good people now. Do you even know what it means to be good? It means we really care about our chastity!”

As I looked at Fatty's expression and Jin Wantang's appearance, I had a good idea of what had happened. I waved my hand, "Hey, you two idiots can stop acting now. I’ll settle things with you later. Let’s get down to business. It's raining so hard that the tomb is flooding."

Fatty and Jin Wantang must’ve had a private exchange, which was how Poker-Face arrived here so quickly. He couldn't have done it without Fatty and Jin Wantang exchanging information. Fatty must have told Jin Wantang that we were back in business and asked him to drop off the goods along our path, but he didn't expect Jin Wantang to follow him. It wasn’t the first time that Fatty was itching for something profitable. He didn’t care about a thing like pride, nor did he care what others thought of him either.

But there was no denying that this solved my problem. If Poker-Face hadn’t come, I wasn’t sure what to do next.

Our group went back to the grave robbers’ tunnel, climbed into the tomb that was already starting to accumulate water, and took off our raincoats. Poker-Face looked at the top of the tunnel and scratched it with his fingers, but it was very dry. It seemed that Yang Daguang's family had waterproofed it.

After wading into the tomb, Jin Wantang was also disappointed, "Little Master Three, this is a ‘half-built nest’. Even though you’re an old hand in this business, it looks like you can also meet with unexpected failure. Why bother coming to this tomb? It would be a blessing if the stuff here isn’t made of paper, but you can't take anything out and make a profit even if you wanted to."

Fatty and I took off our wet clothes while we let Jin Wantang examine the murals.

“Half-built nest” referred to the tombs of old rich families that were built more recently. The tombs were very large before and after liberation, but there was almost nothing of value in them. Most funerary objects were silverware, which was relatively new, so they could only be taken back, melted, and then sold to jewelry stores. This kind of tomb was considered a disgrace in this industry, and meant that you didn’t have a discerning eye at all.

Poker-Face looked around, saw the dog hole we had dug in the ground, and then glanced at me.

I nodded and admitted, "It was the only way."

He looked up at the top of the tomb and swept his gaze around it before touching the brick seams with his fingers. He suddenly rammed his elbow into a brick, stretched his hand into the newly made hole, and pulled at something that was inside. We heard a series of noises in the wall that sounded like machine springs loosening. Fatty immediately went up and pushed the wall, rotating it until the secret room behind was revealed. Jin Wantang let out a surprised exclamation.

As we went in, Fatty looked at Poker-Face expectantly, hoping that he could find some new secret room. But Poker-Face’s attention was immediately drawn to the deep well below the sarcophagus.

We waited quietly for him to examine it as the thunder sounded outside. As the countless whispering voices echoed in the tomb again, he showed a strange expression. Fatty and I breathed a sigh of relief, happy to see that he was as dumbfounded as us.

At this moment, Jin Wantang suddenly called us over. As I approached him, I saw that he was looking at the murals. "Guys, this is fucking amazing. These things don’t belong here at all. They were moved from other tombs and all seem to be related to the God of Thunder."

"Any fool can see that," I said. "Tell me something I don’t know."

"Can you tell which tomb these murals are from? Or who the owner of the tomb is? Or how it’s connected to the God of Thunder?" Jin Wantang asked us disdainfully as he lit a cigarette. "Or do you know where this tomb is from?"

Fatty and I looked at each other. With Jin Wantang’s newfound arrogance, we immediately knew that he must have discovered something. "I may not know which tomb these murals come from, but if you’re talking nonsense, I know where you’ll be buried," Fatty said.

Jin Wantang smiled, "Let me tell you, these are really amazing. If I’ve guessed correctly, these murals come from a very strange king's tomb."

I was stunned for a moment, but Jin Wantang continued, "You’ve probably never heard of this king, because he’s not in any history book. He was invented by a group of alchemists, and was related to thunder." He blew out a mouthful of smoke. "An emperor related to thunder… do you know who it is?"

"Hamlet?" Fatty asked.

Jin Wantang ignored him and asked me, "Have you heard the legend of Tianmu chasing the clouds?"

****

We're partway through episode 3 of the drama if you all care for visuals.