Cozy Obsession

Ironically, just as much as the victim, Heemin, suffered from the pain, so did the perpetrator, Yiheon. One side inflicted emotional wounds while suffering from violence, and the other side etched scars into their own heart while committing violence. As long as their tragic relationship continued, not only would the project fail, but Heemin wouldn’t even achieve the ending he desired. If only the trauma could disappear…Heemin glanced at the chair beside the bed, pondering what emotions Yiheon might have felt while watching over him. Was it jealousy towards Do Junyoung? Fear of being betrayed again? Regret for not trusting him? Or perhaps… a desire to possess ‘Seo Heemin’?Surprisingly, Yiheon’s feelings were of pity. It was incredible that with his face and body, he had never experienced intimacy until the age of thirty. It seemed implausible, but considering his intense longing for ‘Seo Heemin,’ it wasn’t strange that he hadn’t been with anyone else without genuine feelings. Having never engaged in sexual activity or even minor physical affection, he suffered from an overflow of alpha pheromones, which left him constantly in discomfort. Despite the pain caused by pheromones accumulating in his body like poison, he refrained from embracing other omegas solely because of his determination to possess ‘Seo Heemin.’ Now, having kissed him, there was nothing holding him back from wanting more. This was an opportunity to cure his chronic discomfort, so he would never leave Heemin alone.…A hundred times. That was the number of times he had. To go through with it that many times, Heemin thought he should build up his stamina in advance.“Haa…”Even setting aside the issue with Yiheon, Heemin was displeased with his own body, which frequently collapsed. He used to be able to work two part-time jobs, study at the library, and read books all night without any problem, so his current state frustrated him even more.Just then, Dr. Hwang entered the room with a glass of milk. Heemin asked him a question.“Dr. Hwang, how can I get used to pheromones?”“Are you talking about a specific individual’s pheromones or alpha pheromones in general?” Dr. Hwang asked back as he placed the tray with the milk on the nightstand.“A specific individual. Yiheon-hyung’s pheromones.”“President Cha’s pheromones are exceptionally strong compared to others because he’s a dominant alpha. That’s why you… fainted today,” he said, clearing his throat as if reluctant to mention the reason for Heemin’s collapse. He removed the needle from Heemin’s arm, cleaned the injection site with an alcohol swab, and continued while tidying up the hose.“The simplest method is for President Cha to adjust his dosage of pheromone suppressants to match your condition. But the side effects are significant, so it’s not recommended.”Considering the trouble he already had with pheromones, taking suppressants would likely cause severe adverse reactions. It was a method not worth pursuing. As Heemin’s expression darkened, Dr. Hwang spoke in a gentle tone.“There are two ideal methods. One is for you and President Cha to mutually imprint on each other. The other is for you to strengthen your body to become more receptive to his pheromones. Think of it as increasing the capacity of the vessel as your body gets healthier.”In the later part of the novel, after losing their unborn child, ‘Seo Heemin’ suffers from a mental disorder, mistaking a teddy bear given by Yiheon for the child. It is only then that Yiheon regrets and, despite knowing the severe side effects, forcibly imprints on ‘Seo Heemin’ as an act of penance for his past mistakes. Even then, it was only after ‘Seo Heemin’ had completely broken down that Yiheon imprinted on him. Given the current situation, mutual imprinting seemed impossible, so the second method of strengthening the vessel was the only viable option.“Are you telling me to build up my stamina?”“Stamina, yes, but more importantly, you need to find psychological stability. You have trauma related to alphas, don’t you?”“…Yes.”“Such issues are best treated through consultation with a mental health specialist, rather than a surgeon like me. Ideally, it should be long-term and consistent.”It was clear he was advising Heemin to visit Haesong Psychiatric Clinic. Though disappointed not to have found a quick and easy solution, Heemin realized the importance of following the right approach.He lifted the tray onto his lap with his now-free hands. Achieving psychological stability seemed crucial. Instead of worrying over unsolvable problems, he decided it would be better for his mental health to enjoy a snack and relax.“Is it that good?”“Yes. Really, you’re not going to have any?”He offered Dr. Hwang a box of cookies from the shopping bag. Even if he didn’t eat them right away, Heemin wanted him to take some.“I’m fine.”“I feel bad eating alone. Please take some.”Smiling brightly and extending his arm, Heemin persuaded Dr. Hwang to reluctantly take the box and put it in his bag.“I’ll enjoy them.”“Have one whenever you feel tired.”Feeling content, Heemin took a sip from his cup. As Dr. Hwang finished zipping his bag, he mumbled to himself, “President Cha is going to have a hard time.”“What did you say?”Heemin, distracted by drinking his milk, hadn’t heard clearly. Dr. Hwang chuckled and stood up.“Nothing. I’m leaving.”“Already?”“I’ve been here for hours. No need to see me out, just stay seated.”As Heemin hurriedly moved the tray and tried to get up, Dr. Hwang gestured for him to stay put.“Goodbye, doctor. Thanks for everything today.”“Sure.”Dr. Hwang pulled out his phone and made a call as he left the room. It seemed he was going to report the situation to Yiheon. Heemin watched Dr. Hwang’s slightly hunched back disappear and then picked up a piece of waffle, popping it into his mouth. Perhaps it was because he recalled Yiheon’s blurry image, but the waffle tasted more like rich coffee than butter.A taste that is not always sweet, but bitter like that of an adult.***“Get up.”A deep and firm voice, now completely familiar to his ears, was heard. When Heemin opened his eyes, he looked into the dark eyes staring intently at him and realized that night had fallen. It seemed he had dozed off while waiting for Yiheon to return. The outside was as black as his eyes, engulfed in darkness, and the shadows of light on the walls had disappeared without a trace.The time had come to face him alone.“When did you come?”“Just now.”“Did you manage to resolve your urgent matters?”He asked, rubbing his still sleepy eyelids with the back of his hand. Yiheon, who was scrutinizing Heemin with an expressionless face and cautious eyes, lifted the corners of his lips slightly.“After everything that happened, you’re still the same.”It would be a lie to say he wasn’t scared, but the actions Yiheon had shown afterwards made him feel okay. There was no need to act like the world was ending just because of a kiss. Besides, it was Heemin himself who initiated the kiss.Looking straight into his eyes, which were filled with various emotions like floating dust, Heemin spoke lightly.“I’m hungry, hyung.”Having only nibbled on a few snacks, he felt utterly drained. To build a vessel capable of accepting Yiheon’s pheromones, he had to get healthier, starting with a hearty meal to regain his strength.“Come out.”Yiheon ordered with an indifferent expression. He watched him leave the room first, then tried to get up from the bed, but his head spun instantly. His physical condition was pathetically weak.“Ugh…”Clutching his head with both hands, he collapsed back onto the bed. Not seeing him come out despite saying he was hungry, Yiheon reentered the room.“You said you were hungry, what are you doing?”“…I’m feeling dizzy.”“I’ll help you up, grab my arm.”“No, just give me a moment…”“Are you saying you don’t even want to touch me?”Yiheon frowned angrily. He misunderstood, thinking Heemin was rejecting his very presence.“Then, please hold my hand. Like you did in the morning.”Although he usually emanated coldness, his hands were warm, almost to the point where letting go was regretful.“Here.”Without hesitation, Heemin took his hand away from his head and extended it towards Yiheon, who was looking down at him with narrowed eyes. For a moment, Yiheon stood silently, but then his large, warm hand clasped Heemin’s and helped him up.“I didn’t ask reluctantly.”He wanted to ensure there was no misunderstanding, gripping his hand tightly.“Are you trying to deceive me again?”Yiheon’s eyebrows knitted deeply. He clearly struggled to take others’ words at face value. Instead of begging for trust as he did in the office, Heemin sighed and spoke in a calm voice while looking at him.“Think whatever you want, you stubborn old man.”“…What? Old man?”His thick eyebrows twitched dramatically, forming a deep crease on his forehead. He looked quite displeased.“You’re in your thirties, so you’re an old man.”“You’re also in your thirties.”“No, I’m in my twenties.”“…Ha.”“Why, are you jealous?”“You must be crazy.”Yiheon let out a baffled laugh. If they hadn’t been holding hands, he might have hit him. But Heemin nonchalantly walked across the living room, ignoring his disgruntled gaze.“Are we having a party today?”Ms. Ahn was busy preparing dinner in the kitchen. Unlike the usual servings on a single plate, today the table was laden with food to the point of bending under its weight.Is this a celebration for our first kiss or something?Ginseng chicken soup, grilled eel, grilled bellflower root, seasoned young shoots, marinated abalone, and boiled octopus. Upon closer inspection, all the dishes were reputed to be excellent for restoring vitality.Is this what they mean by ‘giving poison and then medicine’? If he were ‘Seo Heemin,’ he would have flipped the table in rage, accusing them of mocking him. But Heemin was different from ‘Seo Heemin.’ Already dissatisfied with his weak body, he was overjoyed at the feast of stamina-boosting foods.Cha Yiheon took meals seriously. Since Heemin had been in this house, he had never been forced to eat the greens and chicken breast Yiheon ate. Instead, he was provided with top-notch Korean meals and allowed to order pizza freely.No matter how much ‘Seo Heemin’ was despised, Yiheon had always ensured he was well-fed. Hearing from Dr. Hwang, he must have instructed the housekeeper to prepare food for recuperation.“Thank you for the meal!”He hurried to his seat and picked up his spoon. Unsure where to start, he hesitated, and Yiheon, sitting opposite him, picked up a piece of well-seasoned grilled eel and placed it on his plate.“Are you finally starting to trust me?”“No. I don’t.”“Then why are you giving me food? You’re making me misunderstand.”“Your effort is commendable.”He seemed to think that Heemin was still pretending to be twenty-one, even though everything was already exposed. However, despite his sarcastic tone, his expression was calm. The angry demeanor from the morning was nowhere to be seen.As Heemin put the eel that Yiheon had given him into his mouth, he slowly looked up at the man in front of him. Thick torso, prominent pectoral muscles, broad shoulders, strong and defined jawline, clear lip line, smooth nose bridge, and shiny eyes.Maybe because some of the pheromones that had been blocked somewhere in his body were now being released, he looked particularly handsome and cool today. Even his skin seemed to appear smooth.“What are you staring at like that?”“I was just thinking that you’re very handsome, even for an old man. You look much better than usual today. You’re truly a squid killer.”Yiheon’s precise chopstick movements paused. His brows furrowed slightly, perhaps offended by the cruel term “killer.”“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Just eat your food.”But after a brief pause, he resumed chewing the grilled bellflower root with a perfectly expressionless face. He seemed unwilling to discuss his condition, likely because his recovery came at Heemin’s expense.“Hyung.”“What now?”“Can I start working out in the gym room from tomorrow?”His house had a room equipped with fitness gear, rivaling any fitness center. In reality, the most Heemin had done was use some exercise equipment at a local park, so he didn’t know how to use most of the machines. Still, he felt the need to start something, even if it was just walking on a treadmill.“You, who said you wanted to draw, now want to exercise?”Yiheon looked at Heemin with questioning eyes. It wasn’t something ‘Seo Heemin,’ who had no knack for physical activity during school days, would normally say.Saying he wouldn’t be fooled a second time was akin to saying he would scrutinize and challenge everything Heemin did from now on. Realizing it wouldn’t be easy to earn his trust, Heemin sighed quietly.“I don’t want to keep fainting all the time.”He couldn’t exactly say, “I want to have healthy sex with you,” so he put it more indirectly. Yiheon just stared at him silently.Just as Yiheon, deep in thought, was about to open his mouth, his phone rang loudly from his pocket.“Keep eating.”It must have been an important call, as Yiheon stood up immediately after checking the caller. If he had to take the call away from Heemin, it was undoubtedly related to his main job.He was left alone to eat, feeling a bit disappointed that he didn’t get to hear what Yiheon was about to say. It seemed like something important. Heemin put down his spoon and waited for Yiheon to return.“Schedule a board meeting at 8 AM tomorrow and a management team meeting at 10 AM. I’ll have lunch with President Yoon from Woorim Construction, so book a restaurant. And I’ve arranged to finish the deal we missed last time in the evening. Set it up.”After a long time, Yiheon returned to the kitchen, sharing his schedule with Secretary Jung over the phone as he sat down. If the deal mentioned was the one worth 50 billion won, Heemin thought for a moment and then asked,“Then who will go to the hospital with me tomorrow?”Suddenly curious, he asked. The appointment was at 9 AM. Scheduling meetings at 8 AM and 10 AM meant he intended to send Heemin to the hospital alone again, like last time.After ending the call, Yiheon answered in an indifferent voice.“No one. I canceled the appointment.”“Canceled? Why? The doctor said I need to get treatment every week.”“You and your other personality are lying about the dissociative identity disorder, aren’t you? I’m not gullible enough to waste my time on your obvious tricks.”Though his words were sharp, his tone was low and calm. Picking up his spoon to resume eating, Yiheon continued speaking.“If you want treatment for nightmares like before, I can call a new psychiatrist to the house. Is that okay?”“No. I don’t want anyone but Dr. Eunkyung. I’ll behave, just let me go, please?”“If you were truly separate from ‘Seo Heemin,’ there would be no reason to insist on that particular doctor.”He coldly retorted without budging. While it wasn’t untrue, Heemin didn’t want to discuss deeply personal matters with someone new. Dr. Eunkyung knew ‘Seo Heemin’ better than anyone. She could inform Heemin of things he missed in <Silence>, so he needed to stay with her.“I’m scared of strangers.”“For someone who ate ramen with Dr. Hwang on your first meeting, that doesn’t seem to hold.”Playing the pity card didn’t work. Instead, he ended up losing badly. Trying to persuade him with words seemed impossible.“I don’t want to eat anymore.”He put his spoon down on the table. His appetite had completely disappeared. There was no reason to get healthy while being treated like a liar.Why am I even doing this? I’m sacrificing myself to cure his chronic indigestion and to make our love happen.Suddenly, anger surged within him. He had willingly given up the significance of his first kiss to him.He had devised all sorts of plans for stamina replenishment and exercise, even prepared to sacrifice his first experience, but it all felt pointless. He shouldn’t have pitied the man suffering from indigestion from the start.“Eat. Do you want to faint again?”“If it’s like this, I’d rather faint.”“Seo Heemin.”“Thank you for the meal.”As he pushed back his chair to stand up, Yiheon glared at him with a cold, steely gaze.“Sit down and stop being insolent.”“I’m full. I want to go to my room.”“Sit down before I force you to and shove the spoon in your mouth.”He had forgotten that despite his polished appearance as a young businessman, Yiheon was a gangster who wielded his fists and knives without hesitation.Reluctantly, Heemin slumped back into his chair. But out of spite, he chewed a piece of grilled bellflower root like it was gum.Though the veins on Yiheon’s forehead bulged with anger, he didn’t forcibly shove the spoon into Heemin’s mouth as he had warned.Heemin just poked around his bowl until he finished his meal. Even though he knew it was against table manners, he couldn’t stop the rebelliousness surging within him. Vivid hatred and anger swirled in his chest, emotions that hadn’t surfaced even when he was kissed.Had he gotten quite used to the possessed body in the meantime? Somehow, he felt like he had become ‘Seo Heemin.’ Not just physically, but mentally as well.“Sigh…”He tossed and turned, looking up at the pitch-black ceiling and sighed. His mind was cluttered, making it hard to fall asleep. Until yesterday—no, even until this morning—his life here had been perfectly clear, but now a cloud of anxiety had descended.Their relationship seemed like it was taking one step forward, only to retreat back to its original place. It was as if they were not an elastic band stretching and contracting; why was it so difficult?He felt suffocated. He, who would usually fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, couldn’t sleep, and he even thought of smoking, something he rarely did in reality. Heemin swallowed another long sigh as he thought about Cha Yiheon, who doubted, was wary of, and even hated him.If Yiheon had been an entirely unfamiliar person like Do Junyoung, he wouldn’t have felt so unsettled. In reality, Cha Yiheon was so clingy that it sometimes reached the point of annoyance, but he always unconditionally believed Heemin’s words, even if they were lies. Though it was clear that they were entirely different individuals, the fact that they shared the same name and appearance made Heemin feel resentful towards the thirty-year-old Cha Yiheon.Though he understood why Yiheon couldn’t trust him and why he was so filled with betrayal and suspicion, his heart couldn’t accept it, causing him pain.Growl.As he was deeply contemplating, a loud noise from his stomach broke the dawn’s silence. The sound was so loud it could be mistaken for thunder, making his face flush. Fortunately, he was alone; otherwise, it would have been embarrassing.Embarrassed, he pulled the blanket over his head, but a moment later, heat surged, and he kicked the blanket off to his feet. Instead of eating well, sleeping well, and thinking positive thoughts, he couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and was filled with negative thoughts.Clutching his hungry stomach in anger, Heemin suddenly looked up and checked beyond the glass wall.‘Should I go or not?’The living room, illuminated only by the soft moonlight, was serene. It seemed Yiheon, who usually worked late into the night, had gone to bed early today, as no light seeped from his bedroom.Recognizing his hunger, Heemin suddenly longed for the spicy seasoned grilled eel that lingered in his mind. Earlier, he hadn’t been able to express it openly with Yiheon present, but it was so delicious he almost cried.