chapter 5
5. Sione Cianella (5)
This dinner time with my family at the long table is the hardest time for me.
Because I don’t think I deserve to be in this position as I lead a secluded life without accomplishing anything for the proud county.
For me, this place where family gathers is nothing but a cushion of thorns.
That’s why it was painful for me to sit here.
Today, as always, I finished my meal quietly as if I was being chased, and got up first.
“…Let’s go in first.”
It’s been years since I finished my meal and left like this, and there was no reaction from my family anymore.
Now that I’m more comfortable with indifference, I just like their quietness.
I used my legs to get as far away from this awkward spot as possible.
As we got closer to the exit of the restaurant, we heard men’s voices louder than usual.
A familiar voice that I’m tired of hearing every day in this place.
… Siabelle and the servants of Zion.
This time, I’m proud of my older sister and her younger brother as if they were talking about me or swearing with me.
“How is it, no matter how much today is the first day you started serving, you are Shione-sama… Is there anything that Sione-sama has troubled you?”
As expected, today’s topic seems to be a curse on me.
The way I am openly criticized even by the attendants is amazing.
Given that kind of question, the man who became my exclusive servant this time will start looking at me like them…….
Now it has become a habit to avoid people and easily spit out thorny words, so I threw nervous words at him without hesitation.
It is natural for him to look at me.
Because I deserve to be criticized.
But contrary to what I thought, his voice didn’t swear at me.
“Please know that Shione-sama, at least with my own eyes, is not the kind of noble you complained about.”
While I was cleaning my room, he seemed to hate me quite a bit.
Why the hell are you on my side?
For some other reason?
Even if I think about it, my usual appearance is not that of the well-mannered aristocrat I longed for in the past, but that of an idiot.
It’s natural to be criticized.
It was different from the reaction I expected, but the mood wasn’t too bad.
“Do you want to go back to your room?”
So I looked at him for a moment.
People’s eyes don’t lie.
I wanted to get a glimpse of why he took my side.
But that’s all.
“…Okay, go back to your room.”
Because I didn’t want to stand still and awkward here for a long time.
I stopped looking into him and left.
As time passes, it’s obvious that he won’t be on my side anymore.
He thought he wouldn’t have to worry about it.
A few more days passed like that.
Winter has passed and spring has come.
Around this time, I thought it was time for the seeds that had been dormant in the winter to bloom and bloom.
The weather was also sunny, so I went for a walk after a long time.
As if it was natural for me to do that, the servant followed me.
Behind him, I talked to myself excitedly at the thought of seeing my favorite flower for the first time in a while.
“The sun is warm and the wind is cool, so the weather is nice.”
“It’s the perfect weather for a light stroll around.”
“Sure.”
She started talking to herself like that, and a conversation with him began.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m thinking of going to the garden. It’s quite beautiful at this time of year, with daffodils and iris in the garden.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“Looking forward to it will be a form of entertainment. Besides that, you will also see tulips and daisies.”
She didn’t feel too bad about the normal conversation after a long time, so she answered meekly.
As we continued our conversation, he asked a question.
“Does Shione like flowers?”
This is the reason why I like flowers.
Originally, I didn’t mean to tell you, but…….
It was a simple whim.
“Because flowers bloom. Getting out of stuffy and dark seeds, taking root, sprouting buds, and working tirelessly to make flowers bloom in the end. Isn’t that pretty proud?”
Unlike me, who is always trapped in a dark seed, flowers will bloom one day.
I like flowers.
Although it could be said that we had a good time going through such trivial conversations and touring the garden.
Soon after meeting Shion, my feelings withered.
My younger brother hated my incompetence and lethargy, and he liked to use this as an excuse to criticize me.
Contrary to my younger brother’s mouth, the story of the eldest daughter of the Cianella family and her youngest son, who are otherwise talented, and my gossip came out endlessly.
… Tired I hate everything now. I wasn’t born because I wanted to be born like this.
“If only I had the right talent.”
When I whispered that, the servant who usually kept an eye on me shamelessly said.
“Why don’t you find a talent other than a sword?”
It was absurd.
The guy who showed up just a week ago was brazenly saying that.
“That’s absurd. You said you were born in heaven, so you’re so ignorant that you don’t even know what kind of place our Cianella family is.”
“I have heard that even Shion Cianella-sama has taken the path of a priest rather than a sword and is achieving outstanding results. Even Shione-sama doesn’t have to stick to the sword because she is tied to her bloodline.”
Yes, there is no need to stick to the sword, I know that.
Is that why you were so desperate in the past?
“No one is born without talent. Sione-nim just hasn’t found the talent she was given yet.”
“…….”
“Shione, have you ever practiced something other than a sword?”
… Of course. Because I wanted to be acknowledged as a proud member somehow. But-
I wanted to unravel the core for some reason.
“After giving up the sword, there was a time when I picked up a spear. As expected, the day did not come when not only the sword but also the spear in my hand always moved smoothly.”
“In the end, after putting down the spear, I tried to learn magic separately. But I’m also not suited to magic at all.”
“Still, I thought it was too early to give up. I realized that dynamic things didn’t fit, so I went to the library and read books to build static knowledge.”
“I didn’t even ask for support. I just wanted them to understand and wait until I found my way. Everyone was busy comparing and belittling me when I went into the library and read.”
And his reaction to my words was—
“I’m glad.”
It was absurd.
The only thing you can say in a situation like this is ‘It’s fortunate’.
“…You must have heard me wrong?”
I was angry.
A lot of that too.
“I’m glad there are still things I can teach you.”
However, after hearing this, I was about to burst into laughter rather than a pictorial.
“Have you ever pulled a bowstring?”
I didn’t understand what he was saying.
“What on earth did you mean by that? If it’s just an intention to shake me up, isn’t it enough…?”
“I think it would be a good idea to take some time starting tomorrow and try a little bit. How is it?”
“I said I went out of this room and shot an arrow? Ha, I can hear the knights laughing all the way here.”
It was even surprising.
“What do you mean you’re just teaching me, and if I follow you, I’m sure I’ll be a laughing stock again. Is there any reason I should go out and suffer like that?”
“I was born as a humble slave, but I am a man with mana. From the time I was born, it was decided that I would be sold as a toy for aristocrats under the name Namgisa, so I learned simple swordsmanship and archery.”
“…….”
“I learned lightly to be a male knight, but at least I should be able to teach you how to hold a bow in the correct posture and shoot.”
I couldn’t understand why he was so attached to me.
“If you’re worried about being laughed at by others, don’t worry. It’s difficult if you can’t see the target because it’s dark, so you can leave around dawn and come back before the others arrive. I’ll wake you up when the time is right.”
“Yes, hahahaha.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
Why do people like me have to go to such lengths to buy something good?
“You will teach me the bow. Can you take responsibility for that?”
“Of course.”
“Well, I wonder where that confidence comes from. It’s been a while since I’ve heard an interesting story. Then stop talking nonsense and go out.”
But the joke ends here.
I didn’t want to hear his bullsh*t anymore. Because every time I heard his nonsense, my head got complicated.
“Would you believe me if I risked everything I had?”
But he didn’t stop and shook me.
That’s why I asked myself.
“Why do you want to cling to me so much?”
His answer was unexpected.
“There is no servant who enjoys being ignored by his master. If there were to be any…it would be only those who have already turned their hearts to others.”
“…….”
“I will not laugh at you.”
… Because I feel bad about being ignored? Why the hell…….
I sat down on my bed and thought endlessly.
It was hard to come to a conclusion easily, but my heart leaned a little more to one side.
“…This will be the first and last time I’ll listen to your request, so know that.”
I decided to yield to his words just this once.