Congratulations on Your Magical Girl Duties

91 – Magical Safety Training (1)

The military, they conduct safety training.

Might seem strange, but it’s only logical. In the military, they strive for safety in every operation.

A prime example: when needing to work at height, they don’t just grab a ladder.

Oh no, they let you climb onto the forks of a forklift to get the job done. The pinnacle of safety, really. Too high? They’ll use a backhoe instead of a forklift.

That’s how seriously they take safety, so the military conducts safety training frequently.

And magical girls were no exception.

“Starting now, we’re having Magical Safety Training.”

Our dorm had suddenly been summoned, so I went to check it out, only to find the Company Commander waiting and declaring out of the blue that we’d be doing safety training.

“This Magical Safety Education will cover fire and burn-related incidents, so listen closely.”

Of course, the intention behind safety education isn’t bad. Even if it’s not always followed, at least listening can’t hurt.

They called us by dormitory unit because the education was being held in the lounge, and it’s hard to fit a lot of people inside.

Originally, the lounge is where we handle fire.

Come to think of it, there’s no more fitting place.

“Anyone have any questions? No? Then we’ll begin the edu─”

“Me.”

Only, there was one strange thing.

“…What is it now?”

“Why at this hour?”

The education time was just too late.

Work was naturally over, dinner and cleaning time had already passed, and even roll call was completely finished.

But, why call us at this time?

“You were the very last group.”

The Company Commander answered as if it were nothing.

That crazy b*tch could have just done it tomorrow.

Whether or not this was only my thought, at that moment, Sora brought it up.

“Wouldn’t it have been better to do it tomorrow? Was there a reason to do it today?”

Sora’s question was quickly answered by the Battalion Commander, who had been watching beside the Company Commander.

“The fire shutter installation in the lounge was completed today. That’s why we’re conducting emergency safety education, even though it’s late.”

It should have been finished earlier, though. The Battalion Commander added, glaring at the Company Commander. The Company Commander desperately avoided the Battalion Commander’s gaze.

Calling it emergency, in reality, that Company Commander moron had forgotten and was only doing the education now.

To have such a useless person as a junior officer.

No wonder I’d been looking tired. There was a reason.

Meanwhile, Sora wore an expression as if she understood something at the Battalion Commander’s words.

“Ah, there was something new installed above the Magical Lounge entrance, was that the fire shutter?”

“Yes, that’s right. The precise name is Magical Fire Shutter. In the event of a fire or explosion, it automatically closes to prevent the fire from spreading further.”

Anyway, the Battalion Commander continued.

“Company Commander, begin the safety education.”

“Yes.”

The Company Commander answered briskly, quickly launching into the safety briefing.

Well, the content itself was nothing special.

Never leave unattended when using fire.

If a fire breaks out, suppress it early.

Be mindful of usage as much as using gas.

The majority was simple things like that. Though safety briefings were all generally that way to begin with.

“Usually, in the case of a magical fire occurring in the Magical Recreation Room, using water is effective if no oil was involved, yes? Supplying water from the Magical Sink makes magical suppression easy.”

Speaking thus, the Company Commander turned on the sink faucet.

-Drip. Drip.

But the faucet remained stubbornly silent.

Only a few drops of water fell.

I’d felt a slight creak when using it before, but this time it seemed completely broken.

“…….”

“Magical suppression has now become difficult, I surmise.”

“Ah, anyways. That’s how it’d be in normal circumstances.”

At that moment, the Battalion Commander, who had been quietly watching, abruptly opened his mouth.

“Well, the safety briefing seems to be proceeding smoothly, so I’ll be going now. I have a lot of work, after all.”

Useless complaints are still piling up. The Battalion Commander added that, and then vacated the premises.

His face was noticeably gaunt, like he’d been suffering a lot from the complaints. I don’t know who, but there’s probably some malicious troublemaker filing pointless complaints with the Battalion Commander.

The world is a truly cruel place. They should only file reasonable complaints, like I do, with necessary merit.

For the first time, I felt sorry for the Battalion Commander.

Of course, it’s none of my business.

Ah, but since I just remembered, I should file another one after the safety briefing ends. Thank you, Battalion Commander.

While I was inwardly mulling over a plan, the Battalion Commander completely left.

At that moment, the Company Commander suddenly halted the briefing.

“Just a moment.”

Then, she took out a coffee named after some Magical Girl from the refrigerator and started drinking it. As if drinking her own personal coffee.

“Haa, jeez, I thought I was gonna die of exhaustion.”

A sudden break for the Company Commander.

But she wasn’t satisfied.

She went ahead and upped the ante.

“Hey, I’m starving, so brew up some Magical Ramen.”

The crazy b*tch wants us to cook her ramen for her.

Lost, we exchanged glances, and the Company Commander raised her voice.

“What, you don’t know how to get water and boil it?”

“Ah, yes! Coming right up!”

Sora, who was perhaps the quickest on the uptake after me, hurried off to fill a pot with water.

But the Company Commander’s tyranny wasn’t over yet.

“You, go re-wash the Magical tableware.”

She abruptly thrust a bowl and a pair of chopsticks at Les. Seemed she intended to use them for her own ramen consumption.

“But, I already washed these—”

“Don’t you know you’re supposed to wash them again before you eat? And when I tell you to do something, you just do it, got it?”

She even cut off Les’ protest midway, just spewing her own demands.

In the end, Les, wearing a similar expression to Sora’s moments before, trudged out with the tableware.

“I’ll make sure your Magical Ramen tastes like shit, you b*tch.”

She muttered something dangerous, but the Company Commander paid no mind. She merely took another sip of the coffee she’d poured earlier.

Just then, Nakji spoke to the Company Commander.

“Excuse me, Magical Company Commander. Is the Magical safety training concluded, yes?”

Nakji wore her displeasure on her face, plain for all to see.

“No, we still have the burn section left.”

“Then wouldn’t it be more… ‘efficient’ to deal with it promptly, yes?”

She must have been incredibly displeased with how ‘efficiently’ the time wasn’t being used.

“Well, I suppose so.”

Surprisingly, the Company Commander conceded to Nakji’s point.

Then she called to Huindung, who was standing beside her, looking lost.

“Hey, go fetch some hot water.”

Huindung nodded and left the break room, just as Sora entered, carrying a pot filled to the brim with water.

Steam rose from the water, meaning Sora must’ve brought back scalding water.

“Sora, isn’t that too much water?”

“Ah, don’t worry. I’ll boil it down a bit and then pour out the excess.”

“Is that so? Well, I reckon you’ll manage just fine on your own.”

As Sora set a pot on the gas stove, waiting for the water to boil completely, Hwin-dung had already fetched a cup of hot water.

“Take-out, ready!”

“Good job, good job. Now pay attention. Magical Burn Safety Education isn’t anything special.”

The Platoon Leader carefully snatched the cup of hot water from Hwin-dung.

“Magical burns, just remember this. Magical first aid is the most important.”

Immediately, the Platoon Leader splashed the hot water – *whoosh*.

“If you ever happen to touch something this hot…”

It was, in fact, me.

“Ah, shit! Hot – !”

“Splash it with a cold liquid as fast as possible.”

– *Shhh*.

And then, she showered me with the coffee she’d been drinking.

“Got it?”

“Okay!”

Thanks to the Platoon Leader splashing coffee on me so quickly, I didn’t get burned, but my mood was royally fucked.

What’s worse, it wasn’t even an accident.

“Hey, startled you? Don’t freak out.”

Instead of being worried, she was openly sneering. There was no way it was a mistake. It was all intentional.

Thinking about it again just makes me speechless.

This crazy b*tch, seriously.

“Are you insane?”

“Anyway, you learned for sure, right? Have a drink~!”

With that, the Platoon Leader pulled another coffee from the fridge and started drinking it. Naturally, it wasn’t hers, but belonged to some unknown Magical Girl.

Just as she popped the lid on the coffee, it slipped from the Platoon Leader’s hand.

“Huh?”

In the end, the Platoon Leader spilled the coffee all over herself.

“Ah, and this was the last one.”

“Dangerous!!!”

In that instant, Hwin-dung, completely startled, urgently splashed water onto the Platoon Leader’s body.

– *Splatshhh!!!*

The water that had been boiling furiously in the pot just a moment before.

“Kyaaak!!!”

“That’s it! I did it! Complete!”

Against the backdrop of the company commander’s scream, Hwidung beamed a bright smile.

Regardless of what she did, the company commander went completely berserk, then slammed her head into the gas stove. Hard enough to leave one side of the stove totally warped.

– *Tssssss.*

With a sound like something leaking, the company commander snapped her head up.

Immediately, her face flushed crimson (quite literally), and she grabbed Hwidung by the collar.

“You crazy b*tch! What do you think you’re doing?!”

“Just like the Magical First Aid they taught us in Safety Education!”

“How is that even remotely magical emergency procedure?!”

The hand gripping the company commander’s collar tightened.

Hwidung kept smiling innocently.

“Hot water needs cold water! So, naturally, cold water needs hot water!”

Certainly, Hwidung’s logic was flawless. Too perfect, even. Enough to make me admire it.

The company commander seemed to feel the same, because she didn’t argue with Hwidung any further.

“Ah, seriously! Ah! aaagh!!!”

She just pounded her chest with her fists, then started tearing at her hair.

She seemed deeply moved in her own way.

Well, you have to be, when the fruits of your training are so evident.

Meanwhile, Sora was giving Hwidung a displeased look.

“Unni! Even so, how could you do that?!”

“Did I maybe, like, fault? I don’t think so…”

Hwidung cautiously eyed Sora.

Sora raised her voice slightly.

“Now we have to get more water! You should’ve only used half!”

“Ah, that, I’m sorry.”

“Hah, okay, as long as you know. I’ll go refill it.”

And with that, Sora picked up the pot and left the break room to refill the water.

The moment stretched, then the company commander sighed, jammed a cigarette between her lips, just like that.

Bloody lunatic.

Thinking she could smoke in the break room.

Just then, Nakji, his face etched with worry, offered a cautious warning.

“Magical Commander, I don’t think it’s wise to be smoking a magical cigarette in here, I say.”

“Ha, and what is it now?”

“There’s a smell, I say.”

“Well, we can just open the magical window, can’t we?”

The commander paid Nakji’s words no mind. She merely cracked open the small window, barely enough for a person to squeeze through.

“Bu-but, the smell still lingers, I say…”

“Honestly, what kind of smell is it, then?”

– *Tidick*.

And then, she lit it.

“It’s the smell of magical gas, I say.”

“…Hold on, what the hell did you just sa—!”

──!!!

In that instant, the break room erupted.

Everything went white. When my vision cleared, the break room looked quite different, drastically desolate.

A raging inferno consumed everything.

When the commander had smashed her head into the gas stove, I’d heard something hissing. That must have been the gas leaking.

And in that situation, the crazy b*tch decided to light a cigarette, causing all this.

That damn woman, forever causing problems.

A classic train wreck.

What’s more, the break room entrance was completely blocked, as if a magical fire shutter had come down. There didn’t seem to be any other way in or out.

Meanwhile, the flames danced, slowly encroaching on the only safe space we had.

We were effectively trapped.

Truly, caught between a rock and a hard place.

“M-magical tiger at the front door, buffalo at the back door, I say…”

“If only we had Sora, we could deal with the fire somehow!”

Nakji voiced his despair, and Huin-dung his regret, but I kept my cool.

In this sort of situation, raising a ruckus is utterly useless. Far more profitable to spend the time finding a way to survive.

Besides, hadn’t we just received fire safety training? If that’s the case, then just put it into practice.

“Hey, you useless slugs. Everyone, move aside. Just do as we learned in the training.”

“Student, do you have some clever plan?”

“We just need to extinguish the fire, right?”

Extinguishing the immediate blaze should be enough for now.

At least, we can buy ourselves some time.

“Ha, but water isn’t coming out of the Magical Sink, how can we extinguish the fire?”

Of course, I understand what Whitedog is worried about.

Water isn’t coming out of the sink, approaching the refrigerator is impossible due to the flames, and the windows are too small to even squeeze through.

It’s the worst possible situation.

But, it’s alright.

There’s always a way.

“Don’t worry.”

I lightly waved my hand at Whitedog, and attempted to suppress the fire.

“Kim Siyul, you fucking b*starddddd!!!”

This was the circumstance in which I threw the Company Commander into the fire.