Confinement Constitution Guide

Warning! Gully 300m Ahead (10)

Watching Sa Hae-geon just stirring his innocent porridge bowl with a spoon, my lips moved on their own.

“Okay. Then let’s just do guiding while resting.”

“What? But isn’t that too much?”

“It’s fine. I’ve been working in the field for years. I won’t collapse just from guiding you. I slept well too.”

Sa Hae-geon’s expression brightened as if relieved by my answer. As if he had never been down, Sa Hae-geon started eating his egg porridge with a faint smile on his lips.

‘Was he perhaps worried about me and suggested taking a break from training?’

Or was he anxious that I might not guide him today? I couldn’t know the exact reason, but anyway, Sa Hae-geon seemed satisfied, so that’s good. I continued the meal with Sa Hae-geon, feeling much lighter.

After finishing the meal and cleaning up, I sat on the sofa holding hands with Sa Hae-geon. Holding an Esper’s hand for guiding still felt unfamiliar. I wanted to switch to radiant guiding, but Sa Hae-geon probably wouldn’t quietly agree.

I turned on some random TV program and was absentmindedly continuing the guiding when suddenly, unfamiliar emotions flowed into me. The first emotion I felt was something that could be called ecstasy. A feeling of being overwhelmed to the point of barely being able to breathe spread throughout my body. What could have happened to feel such clear and exhilarated emotions?

As the prolonged joy was gradually fading, I suddenly felt a lump in my throat. I choked up with the feeling of some knot in my heart being untied. This piece of emotion that came over from Sa Hae-geon was very complex and bewildering. It was unfamiliar to me as I had never felt such vivid and intense emotions before.

Surprised by the tingling sensation in my chest, I unconsciously tried to let go of our clasped hands, but the large hand tightened its grip. When I slightly turned my head, Sa Hae-geon was looking at me with a serious gaze. Sa Hae-geon and I just stared at each other silently for a moment. As if he had noticed something, or perhaps seen through me, Sa Hae-geon asked in a slightly cracked voice.

“Why did you stop?”

“…What?”

“The guiding.”

“Ah…”

I was so surprised that I didn’t even realize I had stopped guiding. I tried to act nonchalant while avoiding Sa Hae-geon’s gaze that was pointing out this fact.

“Sorry. I guess I stopped for a moment while thinking about something else. I’ll start again.”

“Something else? What were you thinking about?”

“No, just… It’s nothing. It’s so trivial that I’ve already forgotten.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll start guiding again.”

Only after making up some excuse to Sa Hae-geon, who was strangely probing, did my pounding heart calm down a bit. He didn’t seem to have completely dropped his suspicions, but what could I do? I had no choice but to pretend to focus on the TV and play dumb. After about five minutes of fixing my gaze on the TV while ignoring Sa Hae-geon staring at my profile…

Sa Hae-geon was still looking at me. During breakfast and now too. He was being particularly persistent today. In the end, I had to find another excuse that Sa Hae-geon would accept.

“I thought I’d be fine, but I guess I overdid it a bit yesterday, as you said. I felt a bit dizzy while guiding, that’s why.”

It was an excuse that would have made the usual Sa Hae-geon worry and tell me to rest immediately. But Sa Hae-geon was quiet. As I quietly endured Sa Hae-geon’s gaze that seemed to demand a proper explanation, I felt cold sweat running down my back. I felt so threatened that I even forgot the fact that pieces of emotion from him were stirring up my insides.

In fact, I could just reveal that his emotions had come over to me, but if I did, he would obviously ask what emotions I was feeling. And for some reason, I had a feeling that if I revealed these emotions I was feeling now to Sa Hae-geon, something unmanageable might happen.

Sa Hae-geon, who had been staring at my face, moved his lips.

“Really?”

Strangely, I was at a loss for words at this question checking the truth. I could just say yes and Sa Hae-geon’s persistent questioning might end, but I didn’t feel like it. But I couldn’t not answer at all either.

While pondering if there was any good solution, an idea came to my mind. If I couldn’t give a positive answer or a proper response, the only option was to escape this situation.

“Well… Ah, maybe I’ll feel better if I rest a bit? This won’t do. I’ll go rest in my room for a while. Keep watching TV.”

I said naturally as I got up and almost fled to my room. It was a tactical retreat. Sa Hae-geon seemed to be looking at me with a strange gaze, but I couldn’t help it. If I had stayed sitting there, I felt like I would wither under Sa Hae-geon’s gaze.

“…Hah. I didn’t know being confined would be this hard.”

I muttered these words that welled up from deep in my heart as I jumped onto the bed. I wanted to bury my face in the bed that had stably received my body and scream. While I had experienced difficulties due to low matching rates before, this was my first time struggling because of a high rate, so it felt unfamiliar and tiring.

I thought I had become somewhat accustomed to Sa Hae-geon’s existence, but somehow, as time passed and we seemed to get closer, he only felt more difficult to understand. Also, perhaps because I had been assimilated into Sa Hae-geon’s past emotions several times, even I often think in ways that are more favorable to Sa Hae-geon than to myself.

It seemed difficult to think normally and rationally. What if Sa Hae-geon does something and I only see him as a large dog? Well, Sa Hae-geon already feels somewhat like a large dog now. What if I’m completely overtaken by the emotions coming from Sa Hae-geon?

Cases like mine and Sa Hae-geon’s are quite rare, and even if they exist, they’re all foreign cases, so there’s a lack of related knowledge. So honestly, I didn’t know what to do. Meanwhile, I keep making various excuses to myself to guide Sa Hae-geon, and even rationalizing with strange reasons.

Thump, thump, thump.

As if it had malfunctioned, my heart that had been fine suddenly started beating violently. My temperature rose along with it.

“What’s wrong, again…”

My stomach felt queasy and my ears felt muffled. Like someone who had fallen into water and been pulled out. I buried my face in the blanket that Sa Hae-geon had neatly arranged.

The biggest problem in this situation now was… that I felt a blind affection, willingness, and fullness towards something – whether it was life, an object, or a situation, I couldn’t clearly define – and at the same time, a deep sense of helplessness and exhaustion that made it hard to breathe.

I had no idea how to define the emotions Sa Hae-geon felt. Somehow, it felt like I shouldn’t know.

* * *

In a space that was chaotic, broken, and damaged beyond repair – in a chair in some room so crude it was questionable whether it could even be called a space – sat a man. He was fiddling with his bleached white hair when he responded to a voice near his ear.

– What are you planning to do now?

“What?”

– I mean, what are you going to do from now on. Knowing your personality, you’re not planning to just disappear like this.

“That’s right.”

The man laughed with a hissing sound and leaned back in his chair, tilting his head back. Looking up at the ceiling where rebar and cement were mixed in a mess, he was reminded of the culprit who had made him so miserable, and his mood soured.

“Fuck, that son of a bitch.”

– Oh? Don’t tell me you’re thinking about him again? Wow, at this point it’s almost love, isn’t it? It could be unrequited love or something like that.

The man’s brow furrowed at his companion’s words. He growled, clenching his fist as if he had seen something disgusting.

“Shut up. I’m warning you, don’t say things like that even as a joke.”

– Woah, you’re taking a joke too seriously. Who would dare to work with you if you’re so scary?

“That’s why. You just need to not get on my nerves.”

– What can I do when your reactions are so funny? Just learn to control yourself. Anyway, answer the question I asked. Don’t make me ask twice. You know that’s a bad habit, right?

He hated being rushed. That was true even when he was working his ass off as a member of the Center. The new partner was quite useful, but he was annoying because he talked too much. If he didn’t need the guy’s ability, he wouldn’t have associated with him at all. No, he might have even snuffed him out already.

The man clicked his tongue in regret and said,

“We should start soon. There’s so much to take care of, we don’t have time to be lazy.”

– Hmm, alright. How many people in total? It’s troublesome if there are too many. Unlike you, I’m low-ranked.

The man counted in his head. There were still some who hadn’t given an answer, should he include them or not? He quickly came to a conclusion. Well, isn’t it better to have even one more person to fill the numbers? The other side will probably push with numbers anyway.

“Ten.”

– What? Ten? Hey, this is different from what you said at first. You said it would be six at most. Are you a complete fraud?

“So, is it too hard for you? If it’s beyond your ability, just say so. I can find someone else to go with.”

– Come on, acting tough. Do you think there’s anyone who wants to side with a trash Esper like you?

When the man didn’t answer, his companion laughed loudly and said,

– I’ll try to manage somehow. There was a healing Esper, right? If I work with that person, about ten should be possible.

“Then I’ll assume it’s possible. I’ve always had a shitty eye for people, but this time I think I’ve succeeded. Even if it’s only half a success, it’s still a success, right?”

The man, satisfied with having irritated his companion, put down the phone with a content smile. He could still hear his companion yelling angrily through the phone that hadn’t been hung up yet, but that wasn’t his problem. The man, who had simply crushed the phone with his jaw strength, got up from his seat and placed his hand on the room wall where the rebar was clearly visible. A cool chill crept up from his palm.

The smile on the man’s face deepened. He closed his eyes and took a breath. When the man opened his eyes again a moment later, the surroundings had changed. The space that had been laughable to even call indoors had disappeared without a trace, and the man alone was floating in the sky. Soon, fierce winds began to ripple around his body. The man, scanning the sky with a satisfied gaze, headed somewhere with his white ash-like hair fluttering.

It was a movement resembling a whirlwind.