Volume 1 Chapter 10
Sanho remained in the room as is. The only thing he did was go out once, returning with a heightened sense of vigilance towards Siwoo. Siwoo stared blankly at Sanho as he entered with a food tray. A wave of lethargy washed over him, and an even greater fear engulfed him. The very attempt to leave was terrifying. Sanho was desperate enough to roll down the stairs. If he tried to escape from here, he couldn’t predict what actions Sanho might take.
Did Sanho know that if he got hurt, Siwoo would come back?
What was he thinking, doing something so dangerous, if Siwoo would just run away?
Sitting helplessly on the sofa, Siwoo leaned his head back against the sofa’s headrest and closed his eyes. He wanted to stop thinking.
Time passed with his eyes closed. When he finally opened them to a soft, heavy sensation, he found Sanho resting his head on his knee, gently stroking his thigh.
“Let’s eat.”
The light touch on his inner thigh felt more playful than sensual. Seeing that Siwoo was staring at him without moving, Sanho smiled lightly.
“Hurry up. You promised. You said you’d watch me eat.”
As Siwoo slowly straightened his back, Sanho also sat up straight.
“You didn’t bring any restraints, did you?”
“That wasn’t the point from the start.”
It was a pointless argument. With a sigh, Siwoo felt Sanho place chopsticks in his hand.
“This is your favorite, right?”
Shiny sushi beautifully arranged on top. Siwoo let out a small sigh again as he looked at the luxurious food before him. He still didn’t want to eat anything. But seeing Sanho staring at him intently made it hard to refuse.
“…Let’s eat together.”
Perhaps thinking Siwoo’s words were absurd, Sanho’s eyes widened in surprise. Then he chuckled softly.
“Never mind. I’m fine…”
“Then I won’t eat either.”
It was almost childlike whining. Sanho slowly closed his mouth. He stared at Siwoo as if trying to gauge his true feelings, then slowly nodded.
“Okay. Then let’s eat together.”
Siwoo quietly extended his chopsticks towards Sanho. However, Sanho shook his head with a shy smile.
“No. Feed me.”
“……”
“You were the one who suggested we eat together.”
Siwoo was a bit taken aback. But he was even more surprised that he hadn’t anticipated this outcome. Siwoo quietly picked up a piece of sushi and held it out to Sanho. The corners of Sanho’s eyes crinkled with delight. He hesitated, slightly opening his mouth, looking almost shy. As he chewed on the sushi that Siwoo had placed in his mouth, the corners of his eyes crinkled even more.
Yes, he had seen this before. This child, with his chubby cheeks, chewing on food with tightly closed lips.
“It’s something you’d like. It’s still delicious.”
“……”
“You should eat quickly too.”
Siwoo silently pushed a piece of sushi into his mouth as Sanho urged him.
“How is it? Does it suit your taste?”
“……”
“Eh? Not really?”
“……”
“That can’t be true. This is food you liked….”
“It’s delicious.”
As Siwoo answered quietly, Sanho beamed. Yes, that’s a relief. Sanho’s small face, alternating between the neatly arranged food and Siwoo. Siwoo stared at that face. He couldn’t believe it himself, but the food was indeed tasty. It was distinctly different from the mechanical chewing and swallowing of the past few days.
When Siwoo came out of the shower, Sanho carefully changed the bandages on Siwoo’s hand and the gauze on his foot. Noticing that Siwoo was about to refuse, he stubbornly shook his head with his lips pressed tightly together. In the end, it would turn out as Sanho wanted anyway. Siwoo quietly sat on the sofa, following Sanho’s lead.
The wound on his palm from the broken plate was deeper than he had thought. Sanho frowned as he looked at the injury and meticulously applied disinfectant. This might need stitches. His eyes, looking up at Siwoo, were teary. I’m not good at sewing. When Siwoo tried to twist his hand away, Sanho firmly held it in place. Well, they say if you leave it alone, the flesh will heal on its own. The way he wrapped the bandage again was quite meticulous.
The wound on his foot was really nothing much. This time, Sanho seemed to think it was unnecessary to apply gauze, only putting on disinfectant and ointment. “It doesn’t hurt much, does it?” he asked, tilting his head, and Siwoo slowly nodded. Sanho smiled with a relieved expression.
When Siwoo lay down on the bed, Sanho clicked off the bedroom light. Seeing him quietly leave the room, it seemed he was going to wash up. It felt like he had become a child being cared for. Staring at the dark ceiling of the bedroom, Siwoo blinked. His pupils, becoming accustomed to the darkness, began to outline a shadowy figure. He looked at the white ceiling and the light hanging from it, trying to gather his thoughts about his current feelings.
“……”
What am I feeling right now? Siwoo blinked again. He didn’t know if it was possible to think about this in the current situation, being trapped in a place he didn’t even know, but Siwoo’s feelings were certainly not leaning towards the negative. Perhaps they were closer to something good. Was it originally a pleasant thing to eat with someone and lie in the same bed? To the point of forgetting this situation? His eyelids, which had been fluttering, gradually began to feel heavy. Sleepiness was washing over his body, which had been tense all day.
He felt the mattress of the bed spring back. In a half-asleep state, Siwoo reached out and felt beside him. He touched a body that was clearly fresh from a shower. It felt incredibly pleasant to touch smooth skin. Just as Siwoo’s outstretched arm seemed to gently pull away, a small head rested on it. The brushing of hair made him feel ticklish.
“Good night, senior.”
Sanho whispered quietly, curling up like a baby. Sanho, lying with his head on Siwoo’s arm, exuded a faint sweet scent. Without thinking, Siwoo’s hand reached out as if to embrace Sanho’s waist. His hand, which had stopped in mid-air, twitched, but it did not wrap around Sanho’s waist.
“……”
You too, sleep well. He murmured in his mind. It wasn’t something a captive should say to their captor. But he couldn’t be sure. How long could he suppress the desire to hold this child? How long could he endure the urge to stroke this child’s hair? He couldn’t be sure of anything.
***
In the summer when he was ten years old, Siwoo was playing with a toy car on the grass in the yard. He thought playing with toys was childish, but this was his most cherished fire truck model. It was quite detailed, looking just like a miniature fire truck. The moment he extended the long ladder of the fire truck, a shadow fell over him. Kneeling, Siwoo looked up at the person standing before him.
‘…Oh, hello.’
It was a child he had never seen before. He was shorter than Siwoo and seemed younger. His round, chubby cheeks were lightly flushed. His skin was so pale that it stood out even more. His jet-black hair shimmered in the light. Siwoo greeted him, but the child only tilted his head without responding.
‘Did you come to play?’
The child shook his head. He simply stared at Siwoo with curious eyes. Siwoo brushed off the grass from his knees and stood up.
‘Who are you? Who did you come with?’
When Siwoo asked curiously, the child raised his hand and pointed to the front gate. At the large front gate, a couple of servants were outside, and his parents’ secretary was also standing there. And a woman was facing them.
‘Did you come with that lady?’
This time the child nodded. Siwoo smiled brightly.
‘Do you want to play together?’
He bent down to show the fire truck model. Among boys his age, there was no one who disliked this fire truck model. Everyone’s eyes sparkled, wanting to touch it. But this child seemed completely uninterested in the model. He just stared at Siwoo.
‘Why? Don’t you like it? It’s cool.’
When Siwoo tilted his head, the child reached out and poked Siwoo’s cheek. Surprised by the unexpected action, Siwoo’s eyes widened, and the child tilted his head in response.
‘You’re pretty.’
It was the first time Siwoo had heard such a voice from a child. Pretty? What’s pretty?
‘You’re really pretty.’
The unfamiliar compliment didn’t surprise Siwoo. He had heard it occasionally. Still, since he was a boy, he preferred being called cool over pretty. But the word pretty wasn’t unpleasant either. Siwoo chuckled.
‘You’re prettier. Like a porcelain doll.’
‘A porcelain doll?’
‘Yeah. White and smooth, just really pretty.’
The child seemed not to understand Siwoo’s words. He blinked his big black eyes a couple of times and then opened his mouth again.
‘And you smell really good.’
And the next day, Siwoo manifested as an Alpha. He was a dominant.
***
The doctor explained that Siwoo had lost memories of the most recent events or significant stressors. He retained the memory of the day he manifested as an Alpha over a decade ago. A child had come to his house, and they had exchanged trivial conversations. It wasn’t a memorable event, but since he had manifested as an Alpha the next day, it seemed that incident had etched itself in his mind. He vaguely remembered that the child had a very pleasant scent. What… scent was it? The child had told him he smelled good, and he had wanted to tell the child the same, but whether he had said it or not was a hazy memory.
Siwoo quietly opened his eyes.
“……”
The first thing that caught his eye was Sanho, who was lying with his head on Siwoo’s arm. He was curled up like a baby, breathing softly. Sanho was still asleep.
“……”
Siwoo blinked without moving. He didn’t want to wake the sleeping Sanho. And he wanted to watch the sleeping Sanho a little longer. It felt like a very contradictory feeling, but that didn’t change his heart.
Suddenly, he thought how very beautiful Sanho’s features were. His small face was delicate. It felt more pure than cute. So sometimes it felt even more sensual. Looking back, he wondered why he hadn’t noticed he was an Omega sooner.
No, perhaps he might have known. He might not have realized it now that he had lost his memory, but he might have known it back then. The true Siwoo from the past who knew Sanho.
“……”
Should I just hug him once? Just pretend to be crazy, as if I accidentally touched him while turning in my sleep? What would it feel like to hold Sanho in my arms? What was it like when I first hugged Sanho, enchanted by his pheromones? All he could remember was a horrifically sweet memory. Siwoo closed his eyes tightly as if trying to shake off the thoughts.
The only part touching Sanho was his arm resting against his cheek, but from there, a ticklish sensation spread endlessly. It was a thirst-like sensation. And enduring it was quite painful.
“…Ah.”
His member twitched and pulsed. It wasn’t a normal physiological reaction that usually happened in the morning. Siwoo realized that the excitement was slowly consuming him. Am I really going crazy? Looking at this child sleeping so peacefully, what am I thinking? It seemed best to get up and leave quickly.
“…Senior?”
At that moment, Sanho began to stir. One eye opened slightly, and he frowned at the sunlight piercing through. But soon, he looked at Siwoo and smiled sweetly.
“I slept well….”
Perhaps because he was waking up and feeling relaxed, a hint of Omega pheromones slipped out. It was a natural occurrence, like trying to suppress a yawn. Sanho quickly contained the pheromones, but,
“Senior?”
The situation had already crossed a certain threshold.
A strange light flickered in Siwoo’s eyes. He quickly got up from the bed and stepped back. He didn’t stop retreating until his back hit the bedroom wall. Yet, he couldn’t take his eyes off Sanho, staring at him intently. His body was moving back, but his eyes were burning with the desire to pounce on Sanho at any moment.
“…What’s wrong?”’