NOVEL NEXT Chapter 6: Fool Again
I force my eyes away from the bite and think of Kieran. I think of all the ways he made me think I didn't matter, that I was worthless and in the way. That I was weak.
But he was the weak one.
He was the one who couldn't say no to his father. If I had known what he would be like—what my life would be like, I would've forced myself to ignore the mate bond. But I wouldn't have had to if Kieran had told his father—told me—that Nova was what he wanted and not me.
"I reject you, Kieran Frost," I murmur so softly that I can barely hear myself, much as I've done every single day since I ran away from the Winter Lake. "I reject you, Kieran Frost."
They say saying things three times gives it power. So I lean closer to the mirror, staring right into my eyes, pretending it's not my wide blue-grey eyes I see but Kieran's bright blue. "I reject you, Kieran Frost." And then I wait, but of course, nothing changes.
Nothing will.
The mate bond is still there, and it will always be there until I say it to his face, or he says it to mine. But whispering it under my breath is one thing. To meet an alpha's gaze and reject him in front of a pack… well, that's another thing entirely.
"You okay in there?" Lucian's voice has me jerking my head to the door, which, other than my choosing Winter Lake as a hiding place, proves to be one of the biggest mistakes I've made so far.
My fingers skid off the edge of the sink and no matter how desperately I try to cling to it, it's no use. I go down with a heavy thud and a strangled gasp of pain. I lay on the cool bathroom tiles, one hand reaching for my leg to check it's still there because it felt like it snapped off. The level of agony is unreal.
I don't hear the door open, but Lucian is suddenly in the room beside me, his cool hand on my brow, asking if I'm okay, but I'm in too much pain to reply and I can barely see him because my eyes are filled with tears. I'm not sure if my leg hurts when he lifts me to carry me back to the bedroom, because I don't feel it. I'm still suffering from the agony of my collision with cold tile.
It isn't until several minutes after I'm back under the sheets with two cushions on either side of my leg that I realize I didn't put my shirt back on. That it's still, if my memory is correct, at the back of the sink where I left it.
My eyes snap open, and I stare at the door. "Oh God, he saw me naked."
Okay, so maybe I wasn't completely naked because I was and still am in my panties, but that's still a whole lot more skin than I wanted him to see. And he covered me with a sheet, which means he didn't want to see any more of me either.
"Don't worry, I didn't see much."
His quiet voice has me spinning my head to my other side, cutting off a cry of pain when my leg twinges, and there on the floor beside the bookcase, with a book draped over a raised denim covered knee, is Lucian. I should've known he was already in the room, but with his scent everywhere, I wasn't paying attention.
"Uh, thanks?"
"No worries."
After closing the book, he shoves it back in the bookcase before rising smoothly to his feet. I'm desperate to know what he was reading, but I'm also desperate for him to leave so I don't have to look into his face and know he saw me naked, stretched out on the floor like a beached whale.
I know I'm not fat since I'm built like most shifters, lean and athletic, but still…
At the door, just before he leaves, he turns and regards me steadily for a long moment. "My priority was making sure you were okay."
Relief surges through me. But so does anxiety. I'm not sure if I should appreciate that. It has been a while since I meant that much importance to anyone and I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me feel butterflies in my stomach.
But I know better than to feel that, or let my feelings rule over logic. I don't belong here, and I barely know these people. I shouldn't let myself get too comfortable yet, or ever. Not until I know who I'm dealing with. And not until I'm sure whether it is safe to stay.
"And are you okay?" he asks when I don't respond.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good."
"Good," he murmurs, and then he pulls the door open, keeping his back to me.
"But what little I saw, I liked. A lot. Now, get some rest and I'll bring up some lunch." Then he steps out and closes the door behind him.
For an eternity, I do nothing but stare. Why does the thought of him liking me make me feel warm all over?
And why for the first time since I ran from Kieran, is there a smile stretching across my face as I settle back in bed?