carl@fire

"You can really cast a spell to do that?" Carl asked. That's pretty cool.

A short while had passed, and Ir'alith was upholding her end of the bargain.

"If there is one near enough, I will find it," she said with her eyes apparently shut since he couldn't see them through the slit in her helmet. "If not, then…"

"Yeah, if not, then don't worry about it, Ir'alith," Carl said. "I can always find something else to do."

"I located one," she said shortly after. "No, more than one." She went silent again as she continued to trawl through the results of whatever magic-powered search engine she was using.

Huh. I guess it makes sense. Middle of nowhere. Great place to throw some dungeons down. I really hope dungeons here are cool and not just hookup spots like that stupid city. Why the heck would they start people there? Like, oh, I see you have the sex expansion—gah, I'm positive they named it something stupid like 'sexpansion' too—let me just start you off here so you can get right to it!

Gaming really has changed.

Carl reconsidered his previous thought. Well… Alright, I guess it's exactly like I'd expect. Maybe I'm too much of a purist. I log on to a game, and I want game stuff. I want people with yellow exclamation marks over their heads, and I wanna be able to skip through all the lore and just—

"Yes, I have it," Ir'alith interrupted his inner rant, even though he was definitely right about wanting to be able to skip through the tedious lore and just get to the freaking gameplay already because it's not like he was playing games as a substitute for reading—no, if he wanted to read a book then he'd read a book, but if he was playing a game then he just wanted to do cool game stuff like driving around a magic-and-steam-powered car at ludicrous speeds that couldn't possibly be achieved in the real world, at least not given the current state of safety technology.

"How far away are we?" he asked, hefting his new axe over his shoulder. Not really my axe, but I'm gonna treat this thing with the best possible care since her dad made it and she seems pretty attached to it. Also, what the heck. I figured raising my strength this much would have some kinda visual effect. Like I'd suddenly be huge or be accidentally leaving super deep footprints when I walk. But it really is just for gear, huh. Missed opportunity.

He had decided to ignore the time that his close friend, Ir'alith, had recently sent a boulder flying into the distance with nothing more than a thrust of his—temporarily her—spear from about twenty paces away. That sort of thing was clearly a bug. If characters could start using anime-style attacks like that, why would anyone even learn magic? People at the company might make some weird choices now and then, but they weren't bad at making games.

…Right?

"It matters not," Ir'alith said, her tail flicking back and forth. "The magical signature is strong enough; I will create a gate." She turned her helmeted head to face the spot in front of Mina's car, which had apparently been designated as The Portal Spot, and the familiar purple lightning began to spark.

"Hm," Carl said, looking at the car. He glanced to the now-stable portal, which seemed to lead to a cave. The dungeons are underground, I see. Which means I'm gonna have to stash the car for a while. But… He looked again at the body in the front seat. I really don't want her to log in and just be alone somewhere she's never seen. That'd be pretty scary, and she's been through enough. He sighed and started walking around the back of the car. Alright, Mina, you better log on again soon. I mean, take your time figuring things out, but there's probably gonna be a point when I gotta just try to find you a good spot to wake up and leave a message. A memory of her mischievous grin as she snatched one of his meat skewers came to mind. Not any time soon—I mean, it's not that much of a hassle…

He arrived at the passenger side of the car and reached down to try and tip her body over his free shoulder. Instead of the gradual struggle that he'd imagined having due to the weight, the body was light enough to be easily lifted with one hand and tossed over his shoulder. Huh, maybe they lose weight after a certain amount of time so it's easier for your buddies to haul you out of a dangerous spot? Kinda cool mechanic. I'm on board with that.

"Inventory," he murmured. I wonder if I can just… He raised and touched his bare foot to the side of the car. "Deposit."

The car disappeared, and a two-dimensional representation of it appeared in the page of his inventory that he usually kept his spear in.

Huh. That's handy. "Dismiss."

"Your dedication to Mina is admirable," Ir'alith said, standing next to the portal.

Carl walked towards her with a giant axe over one shoulder and a dead body over the other. "She was pretty cool and had a really bad time back in the city, so I don't want to leave her alone."

She nodded, and her tail began to sway quickly back and forth behind her shoulders. "A drive with her car was fun."

"Yeah, it really was," Carl agreed, coming to a stop next to her.

Ir'alith stepped through the portal. "We will go for a drive again?" she called back.

"Yeah, any time I'm around," Carl said as he followed after. If Mina was on, I bet she could figure out a way to make her car go even faster. There's definitely enough space for it.

The cave they portaled into looked completely sealed to Carl's untrained eye, with no way in or out. There were… Stala… Stalagm—Stalactites coming down from the ceiling in one part with a small pool of water underneath.

Ir'alith looked around, then cocked her head, then took a few steps over towards a small shelf of rock at one side of the cave. "Here," she said, looking at the rock. Her tail flicked out, and the rock changed to a thick, viscous liquid and sloughed away, revealing a metal box.

Some might even call it a treasure chest.

Nah, it's just a box. Doesn't have a lock or a keyhole or anything, and it's just a plain metal box. If this is a treasure chest, the bar is way too low.

Her tail flipped the lid off the box. The inside was filled with faintly-glowing orbs of varying sizes and colors. She grasped one with her tail and held it up to her face for a moment before setting it back with the others. "Yes, these are dungeon cores," she said in the tone of someone confirming their suspicions.

"Those are dungeon…cores?" Carl asked, suddenly having the distinct feeling that this was not what he'd—

"Yes," Ir'alith said in a very pleased tone, turning to face him, her green eyes glowing more brightly even than her armor or the spear. "I was surprised to find such a cache of them after so much time has passed. Each one radiates considerable magical energy; they should all be usable."

"Usable?" Carl echoed, really feeling like—

"Ah, you have never seen one until now?" Ir'alith asked, seeming even happier at this prospect. She gestured at the box. "It is my first time as well, but there can be no mistaking it. Each of these is a seed capable of growing into a dungeon to guard a hoard. It will be nourished by the magical energy in the surrounding environment as well as the spirits of any who die within."

Carl resisted the urge to groan. This isn't what I wanted at all. I just wanted to stroll around and see what one the game's dungeons looked like, not play in-game Minecraft.

"I was fortunate to locate one, but I have instead found so many!" Ir'alith said, now seeming excited with her tail waving quickly back and forth. "If creating a dungeon is something you wish to attempt for fun, I hope you will find entertainment for a long time with such a large quantity of cores."

Ugh, she seems really psyched at finding these. They must be pretty rare… Carl, through great perseverance, managed to invoke a mid-level management skill that he typically employed when he received a report from one of his directs that an unwanted—but ultimately harmless—task had been successfully accomplished. Motivational Praise was the name of the ability, and it had a ninety percent chance of applying the Motivated status buff upon its targets.

"Wow, that's great, Ir'alith," he said. "Thanks!" It is great. It's…just not really what I wanted…

Ir'alith's green eyes flickered pink for an instant inside her helmet—or perhaps he'd imagined it given how he was still having flashbacks to how great Friday night had been every time he looked at her tail—and she seemed to draw herself up a little straighter while her tail curled back on itself. "I am happy to provide you with such fun after the drive, Carl," she said. "Would that I could locate an already-constructed one for you to explore, but it has been far too long…"

Carl sighed. Even in the beta zones all the dungeons got beaten already? I mean, I wasn't really thinking I'd be checking out a dungeon nobody had ever gotten into…

It was, in fact, exactly what Carl, once an elite power-gamer and holder of numerous world-first completions for many dungeons across several games, had been thinking.

"No, it's okay," Carl said, shrugging off his disappointment along with Mina's lifeless body as he placed it carefully on the floor of the cave. Maybe making dungeons is cool too. Yeah, I'll give it a fair chance. "I really appreciate you taking the time to help me out, Ir'alith," he said to ensure that he didn't seem ungrateful for her help. "That was sweet of you."

"Y-yes," Ir'alith said after hastily spinning around to face the wall. A portal began sparking into existence in the wall she was now facing, cutting off the odd pink glow that had suddenly appeared. "I th-thank you again for the drive in the car," she said, sounding flustered. "I must go, b-but my father will guide you in my absence." The heart-shaped tip of her tail extended behind her and tapped her axe, then caressed his arm as it returned to her.

The portal came into full activation an instant later, showing again the small cave from her previous portal, and she stepped partway through. Her head turned partway back. "I will miss you, Carl," she said in a soft, hesitant tone.

"You too," Carl said reflexively, still trying to mentally catch up with her sudden departure. It's been pretty cool hanging out with her. She's not nearly as edgy as I thought. Learned a lot, too. Sort of reminds me of when Tim got me into my first MMO, and he was already max level and knew how everything worked. Playing games with friends is always better.

She stepped the rest of the way through the portal, and the tip of her tail waved energetically at him until the portal shrank and closed behind her, leaving Carl alone in a small cave with only the body of a dead eighteen year-old girl, a giant axe with an eye on it that was still kinda glaring at him, and a box of freaking seeds to grow a dungeon with, because somehow that's what people wanted in their games nowadays.

Gaming really has changed. This is like giving out the map editor for people to use while they play. He walked over to the box and stared down at it. That's a lot.