Captain Material? Not According to the Gotei 13!

* The following entry takes place 20 years after the events of the preceding chapter *

The future was not looking great. 

Lei froze in fright at the absolute maniac standing in front of him. Although Lei himself wasn't short, the newcomer towered over him and exuded a predatory presence. Spiritual pressure rolled off the giant in waves, his every step creating booming vibrations that shook the surroundings. That or Lei's heart was currently exploding in his ears. Probably both.

"So you're the imitation that I've been hearing about recently…" Teeth flashing in a villainous grin, head tilting in twisted amusement, Zaraki Kenpachi examined his supposed copy-cat with a battle-hungry gaze.

"Yeah Kenny! He looks so much like you!" A short pink head popped out behind the fearsome scowl of Kenpachi. If this was in the anime, the contrasting sight of a scar-faced warrior and a baby-faced grade schooler would have been a source of comic relief. In reality, all Lei could do is nervously swallow.

Ah sh*t. 

It started with what was supposed to be a normal Senkaimon operation. Unfortunately, a returning shinigami had bumped into him and knocked his headgear off. The shinigami was from the 11th division and, in shock at Lei's resemblance to his division captain, had mistakenly called out "Captain Zaraki!" Of course, Lei's coworkers and the other 11th division members on the scene only made a joke out of it at the time. 

But then the rumor took a life on its own, and before Lei knew it, it had been going around about how the Kido Corps were conducting a secret experiement to clone Kenpachi Zaraki. No one believed it - it was absolutely ridiculous, but Lei kept his head low regardless as he didn't want to attract the wrong type of attention. And it worked for a couple months. 

Until now.

"Uh, Captain Zaraki… Can I help you?"

Kenpachi's grin widened. "Heh. Just heard the rumors and thought - damn, another scarred bastard like me. Thought we'd have something in common."

Okay, that seems… good? He doesn't seem up-

Kenpachi's hand moved to his sword. "So, how strong are you?"

Scratch that! Who jumps straight to fighting?! This guy is crazy! 

Hands waving in desperation, Lei desperately tried to de-escalate the situation. "I'm just a Kido Corps officer. I'm not really -"

MOVE!

Instincts screaming, Lei jumped to the side just in time to avoid a downward swing. The attack continued unabated and created a small explosion from the sheer force of Kenpachi's attack. Dust and debris scattered, leaving behind a short, but deep, trench.

Lei's breath hitched. The captain had closed the distance between the two of them before Lei could almost react, demonstrating once again that the ceiling of the Bleach world was far.

"Oh? You dodged?" Standing there nonchalantly, as if he hadn't just nearly decapitated someone, Zaraki tilted his head in mock confusion. "That means you're not completely useless. Come on, let's fight!"

Lei took another step back. "I really don't think—"

Kenpachi lunged.

Let me finish talking at least! 

Fear was coursing through Lei's veins. In the first 10 years of the kido corp, he had faced tricky criminals and deadly hollows. Even after entering his current position, he had maintained a steady training regimin. But this encounter was beyond what he prepared for. The 11th division captain was fundamentally on a different level from his past opponents - he couldn't overpower his way with reiatsu like in past fights.

*Swish* *Swish*

Dodging left and right, another emotion began to bubble up: irritation. Unbeknownst to Lei, since the day that he isekai'd into Bleach, he had been bottling up his emotions of fear and anger, convincing himself that the Bleach world was not so bad. 

Almost a half century of separation from his real world... 

his friends... 

*Swoosh* *BOOM*

his family... 

everything he knowed and loved...

*Swish* *Swoosh*

FOR THIS?! 

To be terrified daily, not knowing whether Aizen would suddenly show up on his dorostep. 

To be chased and beaten up by one of the most brain-dead characters in the series. 

To be stuck in a 9-5 with high job security and playing video games until his eyes burn on the weekends... wait, not this last one.

This bastard thinks that he can just show up and throw my life around? Just for a rumor?

Since he's asking for a fight, I'll give him a fight. I'll show him!

Now, after 40 years, the threat of true death was the catalyst for these negative emotions finally erupting.

Feet stopping in their tracks, a righteous anger burning inside, Lei stopped running away and turned around. Hands on his sword, the world saw his Zanpakuto release for the first time.

"Choose Your Fighter - Super Smash: MewTwo!"

-------

*Kenpachi PoV*

Kenpachi Zaraki glared at the opponent in front of him. When he had first heard about a Kenpachi imposter, he had put it out of his mind; he had other people to figh- err, talk to. It was only after the rumors became outrageous that he figured he should at least take a look. 

He was pleasantly surprised. For one, this Kenpachi imposter did indeed look like him. Just a little shorter and less handsome. But more importantly, and the thing that really got Zaraki going, was the power inside the copycat. The man was hiding it well, but Kenpachi could tell with his instincts that something serious was going on inside there.

The guy was saying something, but Kenpachi ignored it. The best way to communicate is through the sword anyways!

Quickly though, he started to get annoyed. He disliked weak people. But he HATED cowardice even more. And this poor imitation had it in spades.

"That pisses me off, you know. You've got some power, don't you? But you're wasting it!"

Sword still swinging, his interest was rapidly waning. The only thing keeping him going was the fact that this person looked like him. 

"Damn it - he pulled away again." Well, if there was aspect of his power that was demonstrated correctly, it was his fleeing speed. Somehow, he constantly pulled away. Bored, Kenpachi was about to stop. At this moment, however, the man turned around. 

"Choose Your Fighter - Super Smash: MewTwo!" A surge of reiatsu unlike anything Kenpachi has seen in the last half century bursted out of him. Purplish wisps of reiatsu crashed against the surrounding walls, leaving cracks in their wake.

"Hoh. Things just got interesting." The bloodthirst that just went quiet started to smile again.

---

* 3rd-person PoV *

Upon release of his Shikai, Lei's Zanpakuto disappeared, and in its place, a light purple armored gauntlet covered his right hand. On the back, 4 minor gems arranged themselves in a circle around a single major gem as though mapping a constellation in the sky. The minor gems all shined a light purple, but the major gem remained a dull grey as though inactivated.

Any prior embarrassment at revealing his very chunni Zanpakuto name disappeared - in a do or die situation, Lei couldn't care less. Raising his armored hand at his opponent, the north gem flashing, a ball of dark purple blossomed in front of his palm.

"Shadow ball!" In less than a second, a beach ball size sphere of dark energy hurtled towards Kenpachi Zaraki, tearing through the corridor and leaving a gulley in the ground. For his part, Zaraki just grinned and rather than try and dodge, positioned his sword to cut the attack.

Lei was ready though. Sure, he wasn't a combat expert, but he had practiced this combo to the death for many years. And against a stationary target like Zaraki? Elementary. The east gem quickly flashed. "Confusion!". The air around Zaraki turned a purplish hue, and to his surprise, psychic distortions began to control his movements. Or at least tried to. Lei had never lifted a car, but if he did, he was sure that it would probably feel something like controlling Zaraki. For all his efforts, the 11th division captains's physical abilities coupled with Lei's lack of practice against a real foe meant that he could barely stop the monster for a second.

But a second was enough.

*BOOM!* 

Crushing the surrounding walls, raising a minor dust mushroom, the residual impact alone showed the strength of the attack. But Lei had no illusions that this would be enough to beat his opponent. Shinigami were notoriously tough, and Zaraki was in a league of his own even among them - this was a man that was almost cut in half and could still fight.

Sure enough, the dust cleared, and standing in the center was Zaraki, clearly wounded, chest burnt black and blood dripping copiously down his limbs. But based on his expression, you would have thought that he just heard really good news.

Lei's heart sank.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" Zaraki threw his head back and laughed against the sky. When his head came back down, his eyes were practically glowing in bloodthirst and anticipation. "I knew it! I knew you had it - I just needed to draw it out!"

"Jesus. This man is a monster." In the manga, seeing the 11th division captain take crazy amounts of damage and be unimpaired was cool. In reality, seeing the effects was disconcerting and terrifying.

This was going to be a long fight...

---

* 30 minutes later. Zaraki PoV*

Looking down upon his unconscious opponent, breath heaving, Kenpachi stood in the throes of adrenaline. Once the replica had decided to fight, the situation turned much more enjoyable. The 11th division captain thought kido was generally a cowardly fighting method. But sheer quantity made up for quality, and the amount of skills that the man had up his sleeve were extensive: disabling flash bombs, short-range teleportation, and even multiple high-level kido. It was truly an all you can eat extravaganza of abilities.

Of course, the person's combat experience and combat instincts were absolutely sub par. It was as if the man only practiced certain combinations and didn't have any real fights. If he wanted to, Zaraki felt that he probably could have ended the fight in the first 5 minutes, but each new trick that the man pulled out made him want to see how deep the rabbit hole went.

"Wow Kenny, it looked like you really enjoyed that!" A pink head poked out from one of the nearby rooftops. 

"Haha yeah! The sheer amount of tricks this guy had was amazing."

"Yeah - I saw! Shame that his combat instincts were absolutely sub-par though." Zaraki agreed. This was one of the reasons that he loved this company. It's like she could read his mind at various times.

"What are you going to do with him now?" Yachiru pointed to the prone figure.

"Hm. He said he was from the Kido Corps? Those spineless people?" An idea flashed through his mind, and the more he thought about it, the more he liked it. He looked at Yachiru, and she smiled a mischievious smile back. Clearly, they were on the same page.

-----

When Lei woke up, his entire body ached. His mind was foggy, but as his vision cleared, he saw something that made his heart sink.

The Eleventh Division barracks.

He groaned, closing his eyes again.

What the hell did I get myself into?