Capitalist Monster Hunter

19. The Arrival of a Goddess (1)

“What’s there to wait for? Nobody’s coming anyway. Everyone’s just full of hot air. But why’s it suddenly so cold?”

The air around them was growing noticeably chillier.

“Yuseong, why don’t you look at the sky?”

At Titania’s words, Yuseong raised his head and looked up.

“What the hell is this?”

Snow was falling—thick, heavy snowflakes pouring down from the sky. Just moments ago, the sun shone brightly, its rays glistening on the leaves. Now it was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a blanket of pale, hazy clouds. A white snowflake landed in Yuseong’s palm.

“Does the weather in dungeons usually flip like this?”

“No, not at all. This is strange.”

Even Titania, as experienced as she was, found the phenomenon puzzling.

“This is odd. We should get out of the dungeon right away.”

“All right, got it. Let’s just—”

“You bastarddddd!!!”

Yuseong’s head snapped around at the sudden shout.

Someone was descending from the sky.

A stunningly beautiful woman with silver hair and piercing blue eyes. Draped in a fierce-looking wolf pelt, her face was set with a faint, menacing fury.

‘Whoa… she’s gorgeous. But who’s she yelling at?’

Yuseong hadn’t realized yet that the object of her anger was none other than himself.

The woman touched down gracefully and began marching straight toward him. Then, without warning, she slapped him across the face.

Smack!

Her delicate-looking hand packed enough force to send Yuseong flying. He skidded across the ground and crashed into the dirt.

“Whew! Now that felt good.”

The woman, now looking pleased, dusted her hands off as if she’d just taken care of some nuisance. Yuseong stood up, rubbing his dirt-covered face, and stormed over to her, yelling.

“What the hell’s wrong with you, you crazy woman?! Why’d you slap me out of nowhere?!”

“And what’s with the attitude? You should be thanking me for stopping at one slap!”

“Thank you? Thank you?! You’re out of your goddamn mind!”

“What? Are you calling me crazy? You got a death wish?”

“No, you’re the crazy one here! What kind of lunatic goes around slapping strangers? You’re not just crazy—you’re a full-blown psycho! A maniac! What do you want me to call you, huh? Actually, scratch that—you fit all the descriptions!”

The woman’s audacious attitude only fueled Yuseong’s fury, and he let loose.

[The Goddess of Mischief has donated 5,000 points.]

[Goddess of Mischief: Oh my gosh, a human cussing out a goddess?! This is priceless. This is why I love your channel. It’s always thrilling, always fresh—your channel is the best!]

“G-Goddess?”

Yuseong’s mind blanked as he stared at the donation message.

‘A goddess? Like, an actual deity? What the hell’s a goddess doing here? And why the hell did she slap me?!’

His head was spinning.

Seeing Yuseong’s dazed expression, the woman smirked triumphantly and looked down at him.

“Now you get it, huh? Bow down already. How dare a mere human like you defy a goddess? Didn’t your parents teach you any manners?”

Snap.

Yuseong had been about to swallow his pride and back down, but her last comment lit a fire in him.

“What the hell did you just say? What kind of garbage attitude is this? So what if you’re a goddess? You think you’re all that?”

“W-What did you just call me?”

“You heard me, you psycho! You’re the rude one here! Sure, I didn’t have parents around to teach me manners, but guess what? I’ve still got more common decency than you! What about you? Did your parents teach you it’s fine to slap people out of nowhere?”

The woman’s smug expression froze.

“Oh, what’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? Or wait, maybe your parents are dead too? Or were they so fed up with a brat like you that they kicked the bucket? Is that why you’ve got that look on your face?”

Her face turned pale, and her lips quivered.

“Why so quiet now? Come on, say something! What, were you just magically poofed into existence? No parents, no upbringing? That it?”

“Ugh… uh…”

“Oh, now you’re groaning? What’s next? Are you gonna cry? You’re really about to cry?”

“N-No, I’m not crying!”

“Then what’s with all those tears? If that’s not crying, is it not? Oh wow, so gods cry too, huh? Or are you just pathetic?”

“I’m not pathetic!”

“Sure you’re not. You’re a total loser. Can’t even argue back properly.”

“Ughhh…”

“‘Ughhh’ what? You sound like a baby. Did you not even have a first birthday party? Oh wait, let me guess—you didn’t, huh?”

Finally, the goddess couldn’t take it anymore and burst into tears.

“Waaaahhh! I did have parents! Giants even celebrated my birthday! They gave me gifts!”

Watching her bawl like a child, Yuseong was baffled.

‘Wait… is she seriously crying over this? Is she actually a goddess?’

“Why are you crying? What’d you do to deserve crying?”

“It’s… it’s your fault!”

Her voice cracked as she sniffled and glared at him.

“All right, fine. I’m sorry. Stop crying, okay? There, there.”

Yuseong sighed and awkwardly tried to console her, as if comforting a toddler.

“I did have parents! They’re gone now, but I had them!”

“Okay, got it. You had parents. Happy?”

“They even celebrated my birthday with the giants!”

“Sure, sure. Sounds nice. Now can you stop crying?”

“You’re the one who started it!”

“And I apologized, didn’t I?”

“Apologizing doesn’t make it better!”

“Fine, want me to keep going?”

“No!”

“Then stop nitpicking. Here, wipe your face.”

Yuseong pulled out a handkerchief from his inventory and handed it to her.

‘This was supposed to be for sweat… and now it’s for a crying goddess. Great.’

The goddess blew her nose into the handkerchief loudly, leaving it sticky and gross before handing it back.

“Uh… thanks,” Yuseong said, suppressing a grimace as he shoved it back into his inventory.

“Feeling better now?”

The goddess nodded wordlessly.

“Look, I’m sorry for saying all that. But let’s be clear—you were in the wrong too. Understand?”

“…Yeah.”

“Good. And don’t go around slapping random people anymore, all right?”

“Okay.”

“Good girl.”

Without thinking, Yuseong patted her head like he used to with the kids back at the orphanage.

‘Ah, crap.’

To his relief, the goddess didn’t seem to mind.

‘Phew… dodged a bullet there.’

Once she had calmed down a bit, Yuseong asked her a question.

“Okay, but seriously, why are you here?”

“You were so slow at dismantling those monsters, it was driving me crazy. You told me to come help if it was bothering me, didn’t you?”

Her words made Yuseong pause and think.

“Did I really say that?”

Thinking back, yeah, he probably did.

“Then why did you slap me?”

“Because you kept arguing with me, and it pissed me off.”

“Wow. And you don’t think the way you talk might’ve been annoying at first? Ever think about that?”

“…Sorry.”

The goddess admitted her fault pretty quickly. It caught Yuseong off guard.

“But why are you talking down to me? I’m a goddess, you know.”

“Does that really matter right now? Why do you always make it about yourself? Why are you so selfish?”

“N-no, I was just saying, you keep talking informally to me… And I’m older than you. Plus, I’m a goddess…”

“And you’re talking informally to me, so why should I talk formally to you? Says who? Who decided goddesses automatically get respect? You’re all the same. Why don’t you ever try to understand humans? Maybe I just wanted to talk casually to get closer, you ever think about that? But nooo, it’s all about you, huh?”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what? Be specific.”

“I was wrong…”

“Wrong about what? Spell it out.”

“Everything. I was wrong about everything…”

Gotcha.

Yuseong grinned internally. He’d heard somewhere that mimicking how women argue could give you the upper hand in a fight. Turned out it was true. Now he understood why women always seemed to win arguments in relationships.

“I’ll let it slide this time, but you better do better from now on.”

“Okay! I’ll do better.”

Hearing the goddess apologize so earnestly, despite not doing much wrong, made Yuseong feel a little guilty.

Why do I feel like the bad guy here?

“So, you really came here to help me?”

“Yeah.”

Yuseong, feeling like trash, nodded at her answer.

“You’re the ‘Winter Lady’ or whatever, right?”

“That’s me.”

“What’s your name, then?”

When Yuseong asked her name, she hesitated for a moment before answering.

“Skadi.”

“Skadi?”

[Skadi is a goddess from Norse mythology. She’s recorded as the daughter of the giant Thiazi from Jotunheim. While she’s often called the goddess of winter, she’s also known as the goddess of skiing and hunting.]

Eve, Yuseong’s AI companion, chimed in to give a quick explanation about Skadi.

[According to ancient texts, the gods worshiped by the Greeks, Romans, and Norse-Germanic peoples shared many similarities with humans. It’s fascinating to see how accurate those records were.]

“Gods are supposed to be on a different level than humans, though.”

[The concept of ‘levels’ is abstract and hard to quantify. I was merely commenting on how similar her appearance is to humans.]

Eve seemed excited as she bombarded Skadi with questions about interdimensional travel formulas and other scientific concepts.

Naturally, Skadi didn’t understand any of it and looked visibly confused. Seeing her troubled expression, Yuseong intervened.

“Eve, stop. Look at her face. She clearly doesn’t get it.”

[Hmm… You’re right. So the idea of gods being omniscient might not be true after all. Interesting. While deities are believed to be omniscient, Skadi doesn’t seem to fit that description. So what are the gods humans worship as omniscient? Skadi isn’t one. Are they other gods, or perhaps fictional constructs humans made up?]

“I don’t know if there’s an omniscient god out there, but I can tell you for sure that this Skadi isn’t it. So figure the rest out yourself.”