Chapter 39: The Art of Saying ‘Wait, What?’ When You’re Supposed to be a Genius
"Yes, Mom... Wait! Train?" Judge was starting to feel a sinking pit in his stomach, the kind of dread usually reserved for horror stories or surprise math exams, and why was it always math?
There it was. The "T-word." Training. Judge's mind spiraled back to memories of his previous life, where "training" was more like a motivational seminar with way too many push-ups. Maybe a bit of meditation, a sprinkle of mana exercises, and, of course, a hefty dose of yelling. But here? In this world? Training had a new, more terrifying definition. One that rhymed with PAIN. And lots of it.
Eleyn, casually waving off his growing panic like it was no big deal, said, "Oh, don't act so surprised. You didn't expect to get stronger just sitting around, did you?"
Sitting around? Yes. Yes, he had expected that, in fact. Judge had grown quite fond of the idea of lounging, plotting in peace, maybe sipping some metaphorical tea while quietly mastering the world from a comfortable chair.
Nowhere in his grand life plans did "grueling sword training" feature. Yet, here he was. But he knew better than to say NO to his mom.
He wanted to complain but swallowed it down like bitter medicine. He hadn't technically signed up for this, right? Well, okay, maybe he had signed a contract or two without reading the fine print, but nowhere did it say, "Prepare to have your entire existence revolve around boot camp."
He cursed himself for accepting Clio's proposal, he could imagine her sitting back and eating some popcorn, enjoying the show.
This was not how he imagined his next few weeks (or centuries) going, his grand plan for being a mastermind with a camera was shattering, right before his eyes.
And by the look on Selena's still-glowing face, she wasn't exactly thrilled about this turn of events either. Her radiant transformation suddenly felt like a raw deal.
Seraphis, who was watching this whole scenario unfold with way too much excitement, chimed in like a game show host who had just announced the bonus round. "Oh, don't worry! My training's a breeze."
A breeze? Something about her smile suggested otherwise. It was the kind of smile you'd expect from someone who found joy in watching people trip on banana peels. Or survive obstacle courses... without a helmet.
"We'll start with basic swordsmanship," Seraphis continued, her grin now somehow even wider. "Then, if you manage not to collapse, we'll move on to advanced combat techniques. And if you're still breathing after that, real sparring. You would get pretty good with sword if you manage to survive."
Judge felt a cold chill travel down his spine. Survive? Did she just say survive? He was still a baby with an adjusted body, not an action hero! This wasn't going to be some light stretching or an energetic game of tag. No, this sounded like a crash course in medieval survival skills where the final test was... staying alive.
Selena, her glow dimming slightly, shot her mother a pleading look. "Do I have to?" Her baby face said, I signed up for magic powers, not a full-body workout. It was like signing up for a painting class only to be told, "Surprise! You're also learning to wrestle bears."
Eleyn, however, was as unbothered as ever, smiling down at Selena with that sweet-yet-deadly parental affection. "Oh, darling, this is just the beginning. Soon, you'll be able to fend off monsters, swing a sword, and outsmart any enemy."
Monsters? Swords? Enemies? What happened to finger painting and storytime? Judge tried to muster some sympathy for Selena, but it was hard when he had his own doomsday looming. He almost pitied her. Almost.
Judge's mental checklist was in shambles. What once was a to-do list with "conquer the world" neatly at the top was now revised to: 1. Survive Phoenix mom's boot camp. 2. Negotiate fewer life-threatening activities. 3. Grow stronger, but, like, maybe without all the bruises?
As Eleyn and Seraphis started discussing his and Selena's rigorous futures like they were planning a fun weekend getaway, Judge realized his "relaxed life" was officially and permanently canceled. No refunds.
And just as he was contemplating escape routes, an odd thought popped into his head, the kind that strikes you late at night when you're staring at the ceiling, overthinking and worrying about everything and nothing at the same time, all while you are just trying to get some sleep.
His mom and Seraphis had mentioned how intimidating his presence was—something about his willpower. Corwin hadn't said anything, though, and Selena, for some reason, seemed immune to it. Why was that? He remembered how his mother had touched his forehead earlier, warmth spreading through him like a cozy blanket on a cold day.
"Was it then?" he muttered under his breath, piecing it together like a detective in a mystery novel. His best guess? His mother had somehow sealed away his intimidating aura, the one he'd been struggling to control. Typical dragon mom. Always two steps ahead. (Not a Nikocado Avocado reference)
So now, in addition to everything else, Judge had a mystery to solve: Why did I agree to this again? He could imagine Clio just sitting back on her throne, eating popcorn.
But before he could dwell too much on that, Seraphis clapped her hands. "Alright! Training starts tomorrow at dawn!"
Dawn? Judge's soul cried out in agony. Why did all evil plans involve waking up early?
His mother was no better, "Let me tell Father about this, he said we have to look for Alex."
"Alex? What happened to that monster."
"Dunno, he is been gone for a pretty long time. no contact, bet he is just fooling around." Eleyn turned to Corwin. "Corwin, can you go with my father to look for him?"
"Are you worried about Alex?" He chuckled, "I will be more worried about his enemies."
"I know but Father is prettyyy... you know-" Eleyn shook her head.
"Oh! Then it would be a great show to watch." He was having a heartfelt laugh, the one that made everyone around him smile brighter.
"And don't forget to tell him that I will be staying in your house for a week or two." He gave her a thumbs-up, hugged Selena, and left.
Then he came back, wore a shirt, and then left again. "You sure he is alright?" Judge's question was unanswered and was instead met with three sharp gazes.