Camellia Permeates the Snow

5. The Breath that Dug.

Kang Yoon lifted Yeon Hwa’s chin further into his grasp.

He wanted to control her gaze, her every gesture, and her every breath.

“So while you’re here, you’d better not dare to think of death.”

The man was like a thick fog at dawn in the dead of winter.

“You may die here, but only with my permission.”

Something you can never escape, no matter how hard you run.

Despite the coldness in his delicate eyes, the chin he held in his fingertips felt as hot as fire.

His low voice flowed like poison, burning her heart.

“Your life is mine. Not even you may speak of death.”

The moment I heard those words,.

“I am yours now, Yeon hwa.”

The voice echoed in her head.

A time that now seems as distant as their previous lives.

A loving boy whispered his love in a place where only each other’s breath was left.

A mysterious boy who never told her where he came from or how he came to be was lying wounded on the moonlit waves.

A boy who had given her a new world—a world she couldn’t imagine—and a promise of a bigger one.

Nahan.

“Listen deeply.”

The girl who had known the world of Nahan was no more.

There was no longer a girl who had a world called Nahan, only a wistful woman who had to prepare herself for a downward spiral worse than hell.

Only when Kang Yun released her chin did she realize she had been holding her breath.

“Take good care of her.”

“Yes, Your Majesty, don’t worry.”

After giving a short order to Boshan, Kang Yun walked past Yeon Hwa and left Manhattan.

Mu Heon also looked at Yeon Hwa with heavy eyes for a moment, but soon disappeared with his master.

Thud. With the sound of the door closing, the time that had stopped began to flow again.

Yeon hwa let out a low breath and looked in his direction with trembling eyes.

‘It belongs to that man.’

Kang Yun’s last words carved a dark mark on Yeon hwa’s heart.

Suddenly, Boshan’s words made sense.

Even though she had escaped the country, she hadn’t gotten any further away from being a puppet, not even in death.

Not even death could free me. Boshan, reading the dizzying tangle of air, called to Ari, who stood in the distance.

“Ari, come and see the lady.”

“Yes, Supreme Goddess. Ms. Yanhua, come here.”

Soon, Ari came and led Yeonhwa away.

I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed.

“Stupid, again.

Yeon hwa followed Ari weakly, feeling overwhelmed.

KangYoon stopped walking a few steps away from ManhaeDang, and Mu Heon, who had been following like a shadow, stood silently behind his master.

Mu Heon raised his eyes and looked at his master’s back. His master, who had remained steadfast amid the storm, seemed unusually agitated today.

“You’re angry.”

He couldn’t tell why, but he knew what had set his nerves on edge.

The puppet queen, the sacrifice of the throne, the puppet queen of the country.

As Mu Heon had predicted, Kang Yun was in a very twisted state of mind right now.

He’d been like this ever since he’d first seen her, feeling like he had a sharp thorn in his side.

The problem was that he couldn’t tell where the thorn was or how it got there, only that the woman herself was a thorn and that it was unexpectedly deep.

“I think I’ll take a walk.”

Kang Yun turned to walk in the opposite direction from the East Palace, and Mu Heon followed silently.

They walked through a secluded bamboo grove within the palace grounds, using the moonlight as their guide.

It was so silent that the son-in-law could faintly hear the sound of a night crier in the distance.

But inside Kang Yun’s mind, the sound was loud enough to drown it out.

Min Yeon Hwa. The woman had maintained the same demeanor since the moment they first met.

She had no pride in her royalty, no sense of the naturalness of power, and no sense of the naturalness of her position.

She only wanted death.

But the death she wanted was not to save her country’s pride, nor was it to escape the pain or shame of a future yet to come.

The death she wanted was rest.

As she thought about it, she remembered a scene she had buried in her memory.

“I wish everyone would just leave me alone.”

‘I want no one to look for me; I want no one to want me; I want no one to be in danger because of me anymore.’

Kang Yoon’s fists clenched involuntarily as the voice echoed in his ears like a hallucination.

He tried to block out the memory and rolled Yeonhwa’s name around in his mouth.

“Yeon-hwa. Min Yeon-hwa…….”

At the sound of her name, a strange sensation touched his chest again.

But as he searched his memory, he couldn’t recall her name.

It must have been a name from a long time ago, a memory that was shattered by ‘that incident’.

“Unconstitutional.”

“At your service, Your Majesty.”

Kangyoon, who was about to ask Mu heon, shut his mouth again.

The Kangyoon of his lost memories had not yet known Muheon.

He didn’t know if Mu Heon had known someone named Yeon Hwa in the imperial palace before they met.

His mind was racing, and he forgot the obvious.

After a moment to collect his thoughts, Kang Yun asked another question.

“What was the last state of the empire that you remember?”

“…….”

Mu Heon paused at the unexpected question.

At a relatively young age, Mu Heon had become the crown prince’s bodyguard, an astonishingly skilled martial artist who had risen to this position in the shortest period of history.

But even though he was the envy of all men who wielded swords, he had a secret that he could not easily reveal to others.

“It wasn’t a very memorable appearance.”

It was that he was a woman.

He fled the country like a man running from death’s door, and from that day forward, he lived as a street swordsman.

If he hadn’t been lucky enough to catch Kang Yun’s eye at that time, he might not be Mu Heon today.

A mother who was forced to suffer for no crime. Her life was destroyed.

‘You must come back, please.’

And the child she can’t even meet anymore.

“That’s how rotten the country was.”

For a moment, the memory of it pained him, and a fierce muscle flared in his jaw, then faded.

Then he said no more. Mu Heon had never spoken in detail about his past, which must mean that even remembering it was horrifying.

From this, it was clear that Yeokuk was a country that deserved to be destroyed.

Mu Heon, who rarely shows emotion, now and then gets a pensive look in his eyes when the subject of the past comes up.

“Everyone in your country has the same eyes.”

Mu Heon doesn’t answer; he only smiles wistfully.

It was a smile that was not meant to be smiled at.

Kang Yun committed that smile to memory and looked up at the sky again.

A sharp crescent moon shone in the cloudless darkness between the horses.

The decision was unclear, but there was no immediate urgency.

“It will be at least a year before the altar is built.”

He could take his time deciding what to do with the woman.

May the confusion that disturbs you subside.

And the unexplained visions I have whenever I see Yeon hwa.

The moonlight seeped through the hem of Kang yun’s and Mu heon’s robes until night fell.

With the girl still in their memories.

***

It had been a full month since Yeonhwa had come to Ahwanuk.

In that short time, she had come to realize that this place, Manhadang, was very unique.

In addition to worshipping the gods and organizing the nation’s rituals, the Manhadang had many other roles.

It read the clouds, recorded the brightness and darkness of the stars, and measured the length of the sun and moon and the direction of the winds to determine the fortunes of the nation.

It also studied the information needed for farming and other industries.

Everyone who lived here was called a shrine maid.

It was a title that meant that they were both worshippers of the gods and small gods themselves.

They treated their companion, Yeonhwa, like a goddess.

For better or worse, they were unbiased and unimportant.

Of course, Yeon-hwa didn’t like it any better.

She could lie down and sleep without worrying about her amulet falling off, and she didn’t have to cover up her food for fear of attracting evil spirits.

There was nothing she had to stay away from and nothing she had to stay close to.

Best of all, she could leave the building at any time to get some fresh air.

The first time Ari asked me to go for a walk, I walked barefoot in the snow, not even wearing shoes, because I wanted to feel the land fully.

The bitter cold of the earth against her soles made her tear up.

Everything was strange and new to Yeonhwa, who had been oppressed and restrained for so long.

Like a newborn baby learning about the world, she took everything in and marveled at it.

It was unimaginable that only a few days ago she had wished for death.

But peace was like a drop of water hanging from a leaf.

“I have decided. I have decided.”

A droplet of melted snow fell onto the tip of Yeon Hwa’s toe as she gazed in wonder at the green conifers, even in the dead of winter.

“That man. King Ming, with the crown prince… ”

Yeonhwa’s voice trembled and fell apart in the air.

Ari realized he shouldn’t have answered her question when he saw her white face, but he couldn’t help but nod.

“Yes. While being chased by the soldiers of the Ahwan nation, she ended up killing her son and eating the super-sweet poison herself. Heh, Yeonhwa!”

At that moment, Yeonhwa’s legs gave out, and she fell to the floor.

The squirming snow stained the hem of her robe, but it didn’t matter.

In an instant, her legs gave out, and she fell to the ground.

Squirming snow stained the hem of her dress, but she didn’t even notice.

“Ha…….”

A sharp gasp escaped Yeonhwa’s mouth.

She had vaguely suspected the deaths of the king and crown prince, as they were the only royalty among the captives brought to the kingdom.

So naturally, he assumed that they must have died terribly and painfully.

From the perspective of a vassal state, the king of a vassal state who dared to rebel against the suzerain state would not have killed them easily.

They must have met the most miserable end after ruining my life like this.

Self-immolation, with an ultra-poison that stops the heart in its tracks.

He’d murdered my family and trampled on my decade.

“This is so unfair…”

My fists turned white as I pounded the white snow on the floor.

It was only a matter of moments before a thick tear fell from the corner of Yeon-hwa’s eye.

Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes that she thought had long since dried up.

Once they burst, they poured out in an uncontrollable flood.

“Hmph……! Hmph!”

The tears were not enough to wash them away, so she let out a sob, a sob that made her heartache and her breath catch in her throat.

Yeon-hwa quickly covered her mouth as she cried uncontrollably.

But how can two hands stop a grudge that has been pent-up for ten years? In the end, her trembling hands could only beat her chest, which felt like it was about to tear.

No matter how hard I cried, no matter how many times I beat my chest, the excruciating pain didn’t go away.

It reminded her of the pain she had tried so hard to erase from her memory.

Even if the child were cut off, it would not be more painful than this.

A frosty wail shook the hall, and one by one, people began to gather.

“Ms. Yeon hwa, what’s wrong? Don’t cry, don’t cry…”

Ari tried to comfort her, but her sobs were unstoppable.

Even she couldn’t control her emotions.

The moment was too much for her weakened body to handle.

“Yeon hwa, stop crying; you’ll get in trouble!”

“Hmph, ugh……!”

Yeon-hwa’s shoulders heaved as if she were about to lose her breath.

The flood of tears had finally choked her off.

Her chest felt tight, and her vision blurred.

She couldn’t breathe, as if she had fallen into a deep, cold lake.

Just when it seemed like she was about to lose her grip on her thinning mind.

“…….”

The world disappeared before her eyes.

The sky disappeared, the people gathered around her disappeared, and Ari’s worried face disappeared.

Her vision was black, as if night had fallen.

In place of the world that had vanished, her senses were filled with a strong arm around her waist, a thick, burning scent that filled her lungs, and a faint odor of iron.

And the heat of his body against her lips.

warmth that melted her heart, making her feel as lonely and afraid as if she were alone in the wilderness.

“Breathe.”

The stranger’s hot breath slipped past her lips and into her mouth once more.

Gentle breaths melted away the pain in her chest as they dug into her clogged airways. When she finally swallowed her breath, light crept back into her blackened vision. Where the tears that filled her eyes had been wiped away, she saw a face she missed terribly.

“Nahan…….”

The tears that had formed at the corners of Yeonhwa’s eyes slid down her white cheeks. With difficulty, she lifted her hand to stroke his face, and he fell unconscious.