chapter 8
1. absurdity
In my heart, I wanted to keep seeing Kyung-hee.
It was so cute that I wanted to do it.
But if he kept looking, he would notice that his ears went up and he would drop them down.
No, rather, I felt anxious and said I was wrong.
Obviously, if you like yourself, you will assume that others will hate you.
In the end, there was only one choice left.
Eating pasta quietly and ignorantly.
“Oh, it’s delicious…!”
“yes?”
“Yes, it’s moderately spicy and that’s why it’s delicious. I’ve never eaten anything spicy before.”
“Didn’t you eat?”
“Yeah… My body is a bit weak, so I can’t take spicy food well.”
“I see.”
After saying that, Kyunghee hesitated and looked at me.
He seemed to be worried that he might have offended his planting.
I’m not one of those people who gets angry just because the food isn’t good.
So, while smiling brightly, I ate pasta with chopsticks, and only then did I see Kyung-hee eating the pasta in peace.
As if saying that it was delicious wasn’t a lie, Kyung-hee’s share of pasta was quickly disappearing.
Then I suddenly felt a gaze and looked at Kyung-hee, and Kyung-hee was watching her after eating her portion of pasta.
It seemed that he wanted more, but he couldn’t seem to ask for more.
Of course, I predicted that and made a lot of it, so I silently poured some more noodles into the frying pan with tongs.
While I was doing it, I poured some more into my bowl.
Kyunghee smiled as she looked at the refilled bowl.
I tried to give him more if he seemed hungry, but he didn’t seem to need any more.
“Are you hungry?”
“I’m fine… I’m fine…”
“I’m sorry, but your expression shows that you want to eat.”
“M-I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay. I can eat it.”
“Then I’ll eat well.”
To be honest, the way Kyunghee was eating was very cute.
I don’t know if it’s fair to compare people to animals, but it was like a rodent carrying food in its cheek pouches.
Even so, he looked around with anxious eyes and swallowed the chewed food.
Then again, the repetition of sneakily examining the surroundings with anxious eyes.
Besides, the ears that went up while eating, or the hair that became fluffy.
I know it’s a habit that came from being abused, but I wanted to pet it because it was cute.
Perhaps not knowing that I was giving that kind of glance, Kyung-hee ate even the pasta sauce and said cautiously.
“Well, I ate well…”
“It’s completely empty.”
“I was hungry… it was delicious.”
“I thought so.”
While putting the bowls and pans in the sink and pouring water, Kyung-hee hesitated and tried to fold the table.
When I was asked to clean the table once, I thought I was being scolded and hardened, but after that I did well.
I tried to compliment her, but now it seems to be counterproductive, so I roughly finished washing the dishes and sat in front of Kyunghee.
It was simply to talk, but Kyung-hee seemed to have other thoughts.
“……………..”
Kyunghee carefully rolled her eyes.
The ears that went up while eating were also slowly coming down.
After sighing a little, I wondered if I should at least tell you about the rules in our house.
As long as you don’t break that, it won’t matter what you do.
However, I hesitated because it felt like I was just disciplining a child.
However, I thought it would be better if I said something, so I held Kyunghee’s hands together and said while making eye contact.
At the same time as revealing that he had no intention of hitting me, it meant to focus on me.
“If you don’t break the rules, I won’t hit you.”
“……..yes?”
“And if I need to hit you, I’ll say I’ll hit you before that. I promise.”
“Is…is it true…?”
“I won’t hit you. Instead, if you break the rules, I’ll do as I please.”
Kyunghee desperately nodded.
It was probably imagining the worst beating imaginable, but I had no intention of hitting in the first place.
When I say that if I break the rules, I do as I please, it also means that I can get over it with just one night.
Rather, I wondered if he would come out recklessly knowing that, but it was a useless worry.
Looking at the reaction, it seemed that the rules once set would be unconditionally followed.
“That’s rule number one.”
“yes.”
“I said I wouldn’t hit you, but I’m scared and don’t do it. It’s uncomfortable to see.”
“Okay….”
“And um, should I even decide on the second one?”
Leaving behind Kyunghee, who desperately nodded her head and appealed that she would not violate it, closed her eyes and pondered.
What Kyunghee needs now are ordinary experiences.
So, it’s not that I’m beaten for not being able to serve alcohol.
It was necessary to imprint universal life.
If you’re not hungry right now, set a table later and eat.
If you’re tired, sleep in until you’re tired.
Such a universal life.
It was necessary to imprint that in an ordinary family, for that reason, they would not fit.
For that, the first rule was established.
That kind of condition that you don’t be scared and don’t self-torture.
I don’t know how it would turn out, but the habit could have been cured or weakened if it didn’t show on the outside.
Then, there was a need for a rule that would allow people to experience a universal life.
Then the second…
“The second rule is to help me live on my own.”
“A self-sufficient life…?”
“Like housework, running errands. Learning to cook or clean would be nice too.”
“Simple, yes. But can I do it well…?”
“No one is good at it from the start, but you get better with practice.”
“yes?”
“Yeah, even if I get married later. So, even if I don’t take responsibility for you, I’ll be able to use it.”
“City… house?”
Kyung-hee turned her head slightly, and the vitality in her eyes faded.
I don’t know what else he was thinking, but now seemed like a time to cheer him up.
Or maybe it would be better to change the topic.
I just thought I shouldn’t blame myself again.
Third rule enactment? No, you can think about that later.
Then I saw Kyung-hee’s ears creeping up.
“And, may I stroke you?”
“……What? No, it doesn’t matter.”
“Last time I couldn’t pet you properly because you were nervous.”
“Ah, I see…”
It might be a bit out of the blue, but first of all, this was also important.
It’s kind of weird, to say the least, at the point of letting adults know that there’s such a thing as affectionate touch.
He slowly hugged Kyunghee with a back hug, then placed his hand on her slightly fluffy hair.
As soon as I put my hand on my head, Kyung-hee let out a moan as if it felt strange.
“Ugh…”
What should I say.
It was nice because it was different from the feeling of stroking my ears when they were sunken.
If it feels like stroking your normal hair and ears, now it’s the exact opposite.
The sense of holding a cloud and the straight ears revealing a presence.
I really wanted to try stroking it without much thought, but this is quite nice to the touch.
Originally, it was just enough to change the topic, but it felt like I could pet it all day with this kind of touch.
“Your hair feels great.”
“That’s right?”
“Yeah. Everyone wants to be petted at least once.”
“…………”
“why?”
“Didn’t I… tell you… I was kicked out?”
“yes.”
After Kyunghee turned around in my arms, she faced me.
It seemed like he was trying to say something, but it seemed that he was afraid and couldn’t.
In the end, he turned around and tried to get into a position that was comfortable for petting, so he hugged her tightly and smiled.
“You can tell me, Kyunghee.”
“He wasn’t kicked out.”
“then?”
“It escaped.”
“…………What?”
“I-I’m more anxious than that, but can I listen to your heartbeat…?”
“No problem.”
Kyunghee put her ear to my chest and opened her mouth.
“So, money must have gone in while raising me. In small details.. right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“So he told me to pay back the money he spent raising me…”
“So, pay back the money I spent raising you?”
“Eh, because my body has become like this… They aren’t family, but they said they’ll let me live until I get paid.”
It was quite absurd.
Beyond being a little angry, I was very angry.
And the emotions subsided.
But I thought Kyunghee would be nervous, so I forced myself to smile and waited for her to speak.
“But no one can see any sign of getting the money back, so I get beaten… and threatened…”
“…Such as sexual violence…?”
“I didn’t say that because it was disgusting, but I would give it two years, and if I didn’t pay back during that time, I would sell it to a brothel.”
“…………”
“I really thought I was going to die, so my sister helped me and escaped. At that time, my sister said she always wanted to try and stroked my hair.”
“I’m glad.”
“So, every time my hair is stroked, it feels weird.”
I smiled at Kyung-hee, who looked up at me with anxious eyes.
All I could say was that I was really happy.
All sorts of emotions and thoughts whirled in his mouth before dissipating.
“If I hadn’t told you the address back then, I wouldn’t have been able to find it.”
“Mi-I’m sorry… it’s a burden after all…”
“No, it’s fine. And, you said you could stay anytime.”
“however….”
Kyunghee rolled her eyes here and there anxiously.
Then, raising the corners of his trembling lips, he smiled nervously and said.
“Sat, you look like a monster with rabbit ears…?”
“is not it.”
“Even though it’s a stone that suddenly intervened in your daily life… are you okay?”
“it’s okay.”
“Nu, I can’t figure out the situation… I don’t know how to do anything…”
“It’s okay though.”
“…All I can give you is this ugly body… can you stay, right?”
“yes.”
“Well, then… can I just hug you like this…? Like the temperature or the heartbeat, it feels good.”
“Do whatever you feel like.”
Kyunghee nodded slowly, then buried her face in my chest again.
What can I say about Kyung-hee, who carefully puts her ear to her chest and listens to her heartbeat.
If you don’t give me affection, I feel like I’ll die soon.
It was like a rabbit.