Bound In A Loop Of Fate

In answer to Ha Xing's words, Gu Wei rolled his eyes and continued his typing.

Ha Xing scowled at the motionless figure and dropped the trashcan full of scrunched paper he had tucked under his arm, snatching Gu Wei's phone in the process.

"Who are you even texting so much? Ow ow ow!"

Gu Wei smacked the Master so many times he dropped the phone on the couch.

Gu Wei collected it and resumed his lay-on-your-belly pose.

Ha Xing rubbed his tingling arm and back, eyebrows raised.

"Zhai Mei? You guys are talking again? Are you finally transferring your obsession to something-Ah! Stop! What're you-ahhh!"

Gu Wei had picked the paper Ha Xing had been throwing at him from the ground and was now proceeding to shut his roommate up with it.

Ha Xing retreated, once again scowling at his stubborn friend.

He tried another tactic, moving close slowly, then poked Gu Wei on the back. "If you're angry, just say so. I'm sorry. Sowwwwy."

Shaking his head at the shameless begging, Gu Wei gave up on ignoring this big baby and sat up, placing his phone beside him and folding his legs together.

He patted the space next to him. Ha Xing happily obliged and sat with his side to the back of the couch, facing his friend completely, and looked expectantly at Gu Wei.

"Am I your friend?" Gu Wei asked, facing forward, arms crossed.

Ha Xing tilted his head at the weird question but answered, "Yes."

"Am I your best friend?"

"Yes."

"Your one and only roommate?"

"Yes, indefinitely."

Gu Wei sharply turned towards Ha Xing, gazing straight into his eyes in a serious manner, his brows furrowed in concentration.

"Then tell me, here and now, that you'll figure out whatever's going on between you and Shi Yi and stop using me as a middleman."

Gu Wei's words had the desired impact on the Master. Ha Xing's expression cleared, and he dropped his head, breaking the gaze, his blonde golden hair a halo on his head as he tensed at the mention of Shi Yi.

"Nothing is going on…" He mumbled.

Gu Wei uncrossed his arms, his demeanor softening, and urged Ha Xing, "Look me in the eye and say that again."

The dare was met.

Ha Xing raised his head and looked at Gu Wei, who had his eyes wide in a 'don't you dare lie to me' gesture.

He opened his mouth, breathed in, and dropped his head again in a sigh.

Folding his hands together, Gu Wei stared at the slumped person beside him.

He had avoided having this conversation for the past week because he didn't want to hurt his friend and himself, but it was necessary.

Gu Wei should've broached it many years ago, maybe it wouldn't have gotten this worse.

He'd always used the excuse of not interfering, but that had done absolutely zero.

The room was silent for a moment, Gu Wei sitting like a teacher scolding his student, Ha Xing glaring at the couch in frustration.

Gu Wei thought about how best to say his mind, then began his speech.

"I'm not going to say anything about it or do anything. I just want you to be aware that you two's… back and forth is affecting everyone. You and Shi Yi are my closest friends, but anytime we three are in the same room, I regret it instantly. It doesn't feel good to think I matter to you guys and then be used or treated like a third wheel every time. And whenever Shi Yi begins his shenanigans and ropes me in, you just look the other way like he's not doing it to get to y-"

Gu Wei shut his mouth before he said anything more.

He was getting emotional, and he crossed his arms again as his throat tightened.

Ha Xing lifted his head, surprised to see Gu Wei blinking rapidly like he was holding back tears. He was crying?

Disbelief swept through Ha Xing as he took in the effect of his and Shi Yi's rocky relationship.

His own eyes stung for a second.

He hadn't realized how much Gu Wei was suffering because of them… because of him.

Had he been ignorant about it, or had he ignored it like he did with everything else?

"I'm sorry, Gu Wei, I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way, or maybe I did, and I… I'm sorry. Shi Yi is just… Shi Yi is… he's…"

Holding in his breath as he waited for Ha Xing to complete his sentence, Gu Wei held his hands together tightly.

Ha Xing was a very private person, and Gu Wei had had to excruciatingly pry things from him in the past.

But even then, anything about Shi Yi had been locked in an entirely different tab on Ha Xing's head, one Gu Wei didn't have access to.

So he waited patiently for Ha Xing, waiting for his friend to open up to him and finally talk about the unspoken.

A minute passed that way, Ha Xing struggling, Gu Wei waiting.

"Shi Yi is…"Gu Wei prompted, searching Ha Xing's face in the hopes of getting anything, anything at all.

Ha Xing's eyes roamed nervously around before meeting Gu Wei's. And the thick-browed friend tried to convey everything in a single contact.

Talk to me, Ha Xing, I won't judge. I've never judged. You're my best friend.

I'll understand, I'll always understand, so just talk to me.

Gu Wei's heart beat erratically as he waited, like he'd been doing for the past 10 years, for Ha Xing to speak.

His palms were clammy as they rubbed together, and he dared to push again, saying as softly as he could, "Shi Yi is…?"

His eyes were unmoving as they bored into Ha Xing's.

Still, the boy didn't say a thing.

Gu Wei's throat grew heavy again as Ha Xing broke their stare and looked away.

Gu Wei's sharp intake of breath as his friend refused to trust him echoed in the space.

Ha Xing fixed his expression, pulling his face into a relaxed calm, "You know how he is… very weird." He said dismissively.

Gu Wei almost cried then.

What had he done wrong in their years of friendship for Ha Xing to not trust him this much?

Gu Wei had been on the precipice of something, he knew it, so why the shutting down again?

"Xing-er…" Gu Wei said, using a nickname of Ha Xing's he rarely called him by.

"If you want to say something, if it's on your mind, then don't hesitate. I'll always listen. It's my job to listen, and it's my duty to help. So if anything's clouding your mind… or you need my help with-"

"Stop. There's nothing to say. I have nothing to say, so stop the speech. I don't need it. I'll make sure Shi Yi behaves, and I'll… I'll calm down too, end of story."

Ha Xing's scowl was on full mode, and his angry face would soon be directed at Gu Wei if he wasn't careful.

Gu Wei's annoyance had long faded, and he had zero energy to argue. Arguing with Ha Xing was as futile as screaming at a technical device.

Gu Wei's chest ached as he stared at his best friend.

He told Ha Xing everything, from his obsession with Fu Yuan to his personal struggles, so why couldn't Ha Xing do the same?

What had Gu Wei done wrong in their 20 years of friendship to make Ha Xing refuse to talk to him?

Was he too pushy? Not pushy enough?

Gu Wei blinked his tears away. Thought of everything he wanted to tell Ha Xing.

His endeavors for the week, his new teammates at work, and his heartfelt conversations with Zhai Mei.

What was the point of telling him all that about himself when he knew nothing of his friend?

Clearing his throat to chase away the tears, Gu Wei sniffed and gazed at the kitchen beyond the living room.

He couldn't look at Ha Xing right now. "Right, just… figure it out or whatever. I'm not going to… I'm not…"

Gu Wei breathed in deeply, unsure of what to say. He decided to keep the tone light.

There was no point in dragging the conversation out.

"I'm not going to butt in and I'll keep the others out of it. Just make it stop. I won't be there when you two get into a fight again, and I'll kick Shi Yi away whenever he tries anything, so don't expect me to be between you guys anymore. I quit being a middle-man."

Relaxing as the heavy atmosphere lifted and Gu Wei's pestering stopped, Ha Xing ran a hand through his hair and nodded.

"Okay, got it. So… are we good?"

Ha Xing wasn't sure if Gu Wei would continue his silent treatment or not and Gu Wei glanced at his roommate briefly, saw the worried look on his face, and smiled.

Smiling even though he felt like screaming, smiling even as Ha Xing's words cut through him like a blade, smiling as he also shut down his feelings.

Gu Wei rolled his eyes to emphasize his happy mood and shooed Ha Xing away.

"Yes yes, I'll stop ignoring the great Master. Now get off my couch and go make dinner."

Laughing out in relief, Ha Xing politely followed Gu Wei's shooing gesture and stood, relieved the conversation and his days of being ignored were over.

"What am I, your housewife? If you're hungry, pick out your lovely ramen and cook. Also, it's our couch."

Gu Wei settled back into position and hugged the pillow to himself a bit more tightly than usual.

"Don't burn the meat this time, and salt the soup a bit more. It tastes bland."

Shaking his head at his shameless friend, Ha Xing stretched his limbs out and kicked the couch in retaliation.

Doing nothing but successfully hurting his toes as they hit the thick foam.

His moan of pain was met with a pointed hand at the fridge from Gu Wei, who secretly felt better as Ha Xing rubbed his throbbing feet.

Not wanting his friend to see a crack in the weak hiding of his feelings, Gu Wei nudged him with a leg to cook, unlocking his phone and staring unseeingly at the black screen.

Ha Xing, the housewife, trudged away to the kitchen, grumbling about the lazy husband always wasting away on the couch.

Gu Wei gave him his middle finger.

Clangs strayed from the kitchen as Ha Xing set about making food.

"Gu Wei-ah, how could I forget? How's the campaign with your Jie Jie going?" Ha Xing echoed from the kitchen.

Gu Wei pressed his lips together before replying, "Fine, nothing much." Said as dismissively as Ha Xing.

Hearing this, Ha Xing paused his clanging, glancing back at Gu Wei's unmoving figure on the couch.

"Okay."

The clanging resumed.

Gu Wei stared blankly at his phone, waiting for Ha Xing to dig more at his vague answer as he usually did.

But this time, nothing came.

The wall that was growing in Gu Wei's heart became frosty, and he clenched his teeth as it spread through him in a vice grip.

The phone in Gu Wei's hand pinged, and he dragged his mind from the ice overcoming his thoughts.

Thinking it was Zhai Mei, Gu Wei opened the message, only to see it was from Miss Li.

Curious, Gu Wei clicked. Blinked.

Closed the app, reopened it, and checked the message again.

It was the same. The image in front of him hadn't changed from its original form and was still the white sheet it was.

Still a receipt. A receipt of money being sent into Gu Wei's bank account, titled 'First-week pay, every Sunday.'

Gu Wei started to type a confused reply to Miss Li but stopped, thought carefully, and went to check his bank account first, to confirm that such a huge amount of money had been transferred to him…

The boy on the couch rubbed his eyes twice. 

"…Holy sh-"