Born of Silicon

Ivy hops in the back seat along with Lucas, and Cassie hops into the trunk to cook us something to eat while we drive. She cooks back there as I slowly roll our way across the sands.

I still can’t believe how fast highways used to be. Cutting a four hour drive down to an hour and a half? At least the others never had a taste of the good life. 25 miles an hour is practically flying to them.

After way too long of a drive the city comes into view. A hundred or so clustered skyscrapers are all that’s left. This place once housed nearly a million people. It’s been reduced to a few thousand desperately fighting to survive.

The city isn’t entirely lawless though. There are a few unspoken rules that people follow, and territories that only the desperate and stupid sneak in. Arc city owns one of the smaller buildings at the edge of the city. Each floor is rented out to different groups for an outrageous monthly fee. I guess that’s Silver’s problem though.

As we approach I can see that they’ve already built a sand ramp up to the floor they repurposed into a garage. There are close to a dozen people in a defensive position on the floor above, and that’s only the visible ones. I know from experience there are dozens more guards ready to fight at a moment's notice. 

I roll down my window and lean out to talk.

“I’m Vince, part of Silver’s crew.” I shout up to the guards.

There’s a small amount of shuffling and talking happening behind the defenses before someone I recognize pops her head over the wall. 

“Ida! It’s been so long. How are you doing?” I call up to her. 

She doesn't respond, instead just turns around and walks away. I hope that’s not a bad sign, her and Seven do kind of hate me. A minute passes before the garage door opens up. I take us inside and park.

“Keep your weapons close, people. The city doesn't much care what happens out here.”

I step out while keeping my rifle in my hands, but at ease. Don’t want some guard freaking out over nothing. Cassie keeps her knife in one hand and the other on her pistol. Ivy looks unarmed, but I know she has a few guns up her sleeve. Lucas is too upset to care about defending himself, and I can't blame him.

I lead us over to the stairs and start to head up. Each floor has guards, people looking for an easy mark, or more often, both. Luckily we look like enough trouble that people don’t mess with us. Near the top of the building we arrive at Silver’s floor. The guards recognize us and step aside. 

The floor is mostly abandoned, everyone who’s able is out doing whatever they can in the city. Seven is waiting for us in the middle of the floor. He’s nearly as old as I am with a solid metal arm.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite fucking raider!” He yells out at me loud enough that everyone can hear. “Come to finish the job?” He flips me off with his artificial arm. 

The guards behind us level their rifles at me. Adrenaline shoots through my body, but I keep myself from reacting. Focus on the here and now. 

“Do we have to do this in public?” I ask with a fake calmness.

“I’m very happy exactly where we are.” Seven keeps his second hand hovering near his pistol, as if we’re about to have a high noon shootoff like in Cassie’s old books.

“If you have a problem with me, complain to Silver.” I make a half hearted attempt at defusing the situation.

“Oh of course. Little Bonnie’s got to hide behind Clyde.” 

I pass my rifle off to Ivy and walk towards him without breaking eye contact. Insulting me is one thing. But Silver?

“You want to keep talking shit? Make your last line a good one. Or you can just do your goddamn job and we can move on.”

“There’s that raider blood.” A grin spreads across his face. He knows exactly how much he’s getting under my skin. “Does it feel good to be such a big man? Why don’t you take your little harem and fuck off back to Mara.”

I lash out with a right hook. It lands cleanly but Seven only stumbles back a few steps and stays standing. He’s always been able to take a hit. 

Behind me Ivy and Cassie draw their weapons without hesitation to keep the guards from shooting. 

Seven’s hand comes up to his nose to wipe away the flowing blood. 

He retaliates with a quick jab to my gut. His arm is far faster than I expected. His punch lands clean and causes me to double over. He grabs the back of my head and brings his knee up into my face. 

The world spins around me as I stumble. I can worry about the concussion I certainly have later. I’m not losing to this fucker.

I catch myself on a nearby chair to remain standing. Seven’s already approaching to finish the fight. I take the chair and swing it at him with everything I have. It splinters into shards as he blocks it with his metal arm. 

Perfect. Even after all this time he’s still sloppy. He’s so focused on blocking he left his core completely unguarded. My knee comes up into his crotch before he has time to react. He collapses to the ground immediately. If I’m lucky he’ll need a metal ball to match his arm.

“How about we talk business now.” The world is swaying under my feet but I stay standing. 

“Ugh. Fucking guards.” He calls out. Ivy and Cassie are still in a standoff with them. The both of us know I’m close enough to get a solid stomp in before he can finish his sentence. “Go get a medic for the both of us.”

Smart man. 

The standoff behind me slowly lowers and one of the guards heads downstairs. Seven takes a minute to struggle to his feet. He doesn't ask for my hand and I don’t offer. 

“Take room thirteen.” His voice is a little higher than it was before. “We’ll talk when you get that wound taken care of.

“Huh?” I reach up and find my cheek drenched in blood. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug. “Oh.” I really hope this doesn't need stitches. 

I turn to head towards our room and the ground rushes up to meet me. Within a second Ivy has my arm over her shoulder and is helping me to my feet. I lean on her as she half carries me to our room. She drops me on one of the two beds. The sunlight blaring through the open window sets my brain on fire.

“Do you want to tell us what the fuck that was?” Cassie loudly asks.

“Shh. Loud. Bright.” 

As Cassie closes the blinds the pressure on my skull lessens. Ivy rips a strip of cloth off my shirt and gets to work trying to stop the bleeding.

“Now do you want to tell us what the fuck that was?” Cassie whispers.

“I cut off his arm not long before I met you.”

“Yeah, I got that. I meant the fight, dummy.”

“I don’t know.” I moan into the air. 

“What…” Lucas speaks up for the first time since we arrived. He sounds like he doesn't want to finish his question. “What did he mean by you’re a raider?”

“Not for a decade. I’ll explain later.” I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to have this conversation with him. I guess it’s my fault, I should have told him earlier.

“And neither of you are surprised?” His voice trails off for a moment as he connects the dots. “You knew. Both of you. You knew and never told me.”

“I’m sorry Lucas. Let me nap and I’ll explain.”

Lucas walks out the door without saying a word. I have to look away from the light of the open door. 

“Like hell you’re taking a nap. I’ll go talk to him. Ivy, make sure he stays awake.” Cassie says before following him out. It’s only Ivy and I in here.

“Do you want to talk?” She asks me in a barely audible whisper.

“Talking hurts.” 

She doesn't say anything past that. Instead just continuing to focus on the gash on my cheek. I make sure to move occasionally to let her know I’m still awake. Finally a doctor comes into the room. Ivy thankfully shields my eyes just a moment before the doctor enters. 

“Try and stay quiet. He’s concussed.” She tells him.

“Not much I can do about that I’m afraid, but I’ll give what advice I can. I’m mostly just here to look at his face.” Thankfully the doctor is staying just as quiet.

He leans down above me and starts to poke around. Ivy keeps her hands over my eyes. God I love her.

“I stopped some of the bleeding.” She whispers to him.

“I see that. It’ll most likely heal on its own, but you’re going to be left with a nasty scar. A few stitches should reduce the amount of scarring if that’s something you care about.”

“Do it.”

“Alright. Bite down on this.” He hands a rag to me. I place it securely in my mouth. I’ve been here before. I can handle it.

He begins the slow process of cleaning the wound without warning me first. I’m lucky I had the rag in place or I might have broken a tooth with how hard my jaw clenched. It feels like he’s poking, prodding, and rubbing forever. But it can’t be more than five minutes before he finishes. 

“Alright. I’m starting on the stitches now.”

This I can handle. I’ve had more than my fair share of stitches in my lifetime. I’m just glad I don’t have to do my own this time. The concussion definitely makes the pain worse but this guy feels very experienced. In under a minute he’s finished.

“Now, about your concussion. For the next 24 hours make sure someone is awake and watching you. If you have a seizure then call for us. Try to stay in dim light and don’t do anything that’ll make you think too hard. No reading, no driving, just don’t leave this room. Get sleep, drink water, don’t forget to eat. In two days you can move around. If anything makes you feel bad immediately stop doing it. Any questions?"

“No.”

“Good. I’ll be back every morning to check on you. Try not to get in any more fights.” With that last piece of advice he leaves. 

“Can you go get Lucas?”

“Doctor said nothing that makes you think. Last thing you need is a tough conversation.”

“Look, I’m feeling…” I was going to say better but she can see straight through me. “I’m going to lie to you and say I’m feeling better.”

“Uh huh.”

“If I don’t talk to him I’m just going to keep worrying about it.” I put as much pity into my voice as possible. 

“You’re ridiculous. I’ll go ask him.”

“Thank you.”

She heads out leaving me alone in the darkness for a bit. I have to get myself back together.

I don’t do this anymore, I'm not that person. Having a hard few days doesn’t excuse anything. Ivy’s only gone for a few seconds before the door opens. I can hear three people walk in. 

“Cassie convinced me to listen to you.” Lucas sits down next to me. At least I think it’s him. It’s too bright to open my eyes. 

“Thank you.” I have to talk slowly and quietly to prevent my brain from pounding. Nothing to do but to lay it all out. “First off, this is a big thing to keep hidden and if I can’t earn back that trust I understand. I’ll support you in every way I can in finding a new group if that’s what you want.” He doesn’t say anything, and I continue.

“I guess it only makes sense to start with the end of the world. I was ten when it started, and fifteen when the last plants died. I did what I had to do to survive. That doesn’t excuse anything, but I didn’t think I had any other choice at the time. I’ve never let myself forget the face of every person I stole from, hurt, or killed.”

“I fell in with a woman around my age. Mara. She’s a psychopath, but deadly charismatic. It was so easy to get wrapped up in her words, in her world. She thrived in the apocalypse in a way she never had before. She’s cruel, vengeful, and if there’s any fairness in the world she’s dead. She’s also my ex.” Ivy takes my hand. She knows how hard this is for me to talk about.

“She took a liking to me, and to be fair, I wasn’t much better than her. I was cruel because it kept me alive, she was cruel because she enjoyed it. I was 16 and she was the only one I could rely on. There’s not much more to say there.”

“After 10 years we were myths of the west. Ever heard the stories of the Phantoms of Vegas? That was us. We were in the middle of a casino heist when a storm hit out of nowhere. For four days we were trapped in the building with hundreds of guards who wanted nothing more than our heads. Mara wasn’t scared though. We turned the floor we were on into a bunker, with dozens of escape routes and secret paths. Every wave of guards fell before us with ease.”

“We were confident, until we met the only person who was ever able to keep up with us. Silver. We skirmished with them time after time, but neither group was able to land anything lethal. By the time the storm ended we’d reached a silent agreement and fought our way out together. Silver was the only one who ever earned Mara’s respect, not even I had that.”

“The three of us were a force of nature. Entire skyscrapers would pay every dime they had to get us to leave or to attack their enemies. Around that time AI came into existence. Nobody knew the danger of wireless at that time so they were everywhere. Silver became friends with one named Clover. Mara hated her so I wasn’t allowed to talk to her, and of course Mara threatened to leave if I disobeyed.”

“It was Clover that finally convinced Silver what a fucked up situation we were in. They tried to make me realize too, but I’d been Mara’s little plaything for over a decade, literally half my life. Hooks don’t come out that easily.”

“The older I got, the more my conscience developed. I thought something was wrong with me, if you can believe it. I buried the guilt of every bullet I fired, every life I took. It made me evil, angry at the world, liable to lash out at the slightest provocation. Just like today. Seven said just a few words against Mara, and I took his arm. Silver stayed with us though. They still had hoped I’d get free. Cassie, do you want me to go into detail? Or just the needed details?”

“If you’re sharing this much, what do I care if he knows how my parents died.”

“Do you want to share this part?” I ask her.

“It’s more impactful coming from you.” She says with a shake of her head.

“Alright. Anyway, Mara convinced me that Silver was just trying to take me away from her. I hated Silver, I thought they were the manipulative one, that’s how deep I was.” I’m rambling, but Lucas deserves something straight from my heart.

“When the AI war started, we were in high demand. Silver took to hacking like nobody I’ve ever seen. We got sent to a small town in a canyon, naturally protected from the storms. A dozen AI in robot bodies had moved in. The humans who lived there weren’t keen to share.”

“We heard the fighting, but arrived just a little too late. The AI had killed everyone they could find, but hadn’t finished cleaning up. While we fought, Silver spotted the only survivor. A ten year old girl, caught in an explosion and missing her legs. Silver broke off from the fight to save her, and that enraged Mara. I had barely taken a step towards the child, when Mara demanded I stay and fight. It pained me so badly, but I followed her. That was the moment I began to doubt her. I’m just ashamed it took so long.”

“You probably guessed it but that little girl was Cassie. Silver somehow convinced Mara to let Cassie travel with us. I’m still not sure how they did that. We kept raiding for a year, but every day I began to see the truth in Silver’s words. Cassie was so afraid of me, it broke my heart, made me begin to see what a monster I’d become. It all came to a head when Cassie accidentally spilled Mara’s drink. Mara hit her. Of course that was it for Silver, they took Cassie and left.” 

“I’m ashamed to say I was torn. Mara once again made a demand of me. To stay. That was the first time I ever told her no. She lunged for her rifle, but by some miracle, I was closer. That’s the same rifle I still use. A reminder to do better. If I happened to be on the other side of her, or if she put her rifle anywhere else in the camp I’d be dead right now, no doubt about it. I left without killing her. That’s the single biggest mistake of my life, and I regret it every day.” I take a few minutes to recollect myself before continuing.

“That should have been the end of it. Silver, Cassie and I crossed the Rockies and came to Arc City to get a new start. We started a scrapping gang and did our best to repent for the sins of our past.” 

“Silver and Cassie taught me how to be my own person. Mara couldn’t let that go, she blamed Clover for everything. Apparently, she fought her way into Clover’s core and blew it up. She dropped a recording of it personally at our door. We haven’t seen her since, but I’m sure she’s still out there. So yes, I was a raider, and my situation does not make what I did ok. But I hope you can see that I work every day to no longer be that person. It’s been a long time since the person I was bubbled to the surface, Just like today. That doesn’t make anything I’ve done ok, of course.”

“That’s the short of it. If you want more details, I’ll gladly give them when I’m better. Again, If you want to leave I understand.”

“That's… That’s a lot to take in.” Lucas says slowly. “I’ll need some time to think.”

“Of course. Take as long as you need.”