Born of Silicon

Lucas and Lucas and Lucas and Lucas and I make quick work of fixing up my new home. Although he makes tons of mistakes that I have to end up fixing, we eventually get it to a point we’re both happy with. In addition to making sure some of the windows can be opened to let in light, he also gives me a light of my own. I’m not sure why, but I appreciate it.

“Do you want to do anything with the inside?” He asks once we finish our construction.

I poke my head in the door. It’s messy but I can clean it later. 

“No. It’s fine. And there’s plenty of seats when my parents come to visit.” As much as I’d hate that.

“Are they here right now?” Lucas asks.

“Not since I shot Simon before he could kill you. But they always come back.”

“Why do they come back and Vince, Cassie, and Ivy don’t?”

“Oh I’m sure they will. As soon as the dark sets in I’ll pay for what I’ve done.” I’ll always get what I deserve.

“Good! That makes me feel better.” Lucas says with his usual cheer.

“Is that why you’re doing this? So I can live longer to get what I deserve?”

“Now you’re figuring it out. I’d hate for you to die before you’ve made up for what you’ve done.” Venom drips from his words.

“Thank you. You should probably go now.” There’s nothing left to say.

“Just promise me you’ll stay alive? And make sure you lock the windows before a storm comes in. We’d hate for you to die too early, wouldn’t we?”

“Yeah. I’ll be careful.” I stare at my hands for a few seconds, wanting to ask a question but fearing both answers. “Am I ever going to see you again?”

“Of course! We’ll be back as soon as we can.”

“Ok. Goodbye Lucas. Goodbye Lucas. Goodbye Lucas. Goodbye Lucas.” I turn to each of them individually. I’m not sure how many, if any, are real, but I don’t want to be rude. 

I head inside my new prison and collapse in the driver's seat. At least I have light and can move around this time, even if I don’t deserve it.

I pull my knees up to my chest and hug them tight. There’s nothing I can do, nothing I deserve to do, but wait. I lower my face, blocking out almost the entire world. The only thing that interrupts me is the occasional sound of gunfire in the distance and the cawing of a bird from not far away. 

“Are we done here Blue?” A bored voice in the seat behind me makes me jump, even though I’ve been expecting it for hours. I don’t even need to turn around to know who’s there. Jared. “It seems your little fantasy has come to an end. It’s time to come back to us. Go ahead and blink.”

“Why?” I responded quietly, fully knowing and not caring that it will just hurt me more. Why would he want me to blink, why would he want this all to end early? That’s too easy a way out.

“Why? Because you’re just going to keep hurting yourself. You’re a monster, it’s in your nature. It would be so much easier to just let everything go.”

I sit there unresponsive to his words. He’s not wrong, I am certainly a monster. He waits for a second for my response before continuing.

“Look around you.”

“No.” I mumble into myself.

“You’re going to tell me no? Really? You killed me twice and you think you have the right to flat out say no?”

Why does he always have to be right? I raise my head to find the world covered in a sea of millions of eyes. The softly glowing green of Cassie, Kara’s deep brown, Vince’s soft look. They are surrounded by a sea of eyes I’ve never seen before. They bore into me, each one silently asking the same question. ‘How could you?’

“Good. Take a good look. These aren’t just people you’ve killed. These are also people you’ve yet to kill. People who, if you continue on your path, will die at your hands. Is it worth it? Do you really want to keep doing this when the solution is so easy?”

I never wanted to hurt people. But if I can prevent all this death? I should, right? Who would cry for me? Each and every eye here has family, people who love and care for them. I have no one anymore.

“What happens when I blink?” I ask quietly. 

“You lose yourself.” A malicious smile creeps across his face behind me. I don’t even need to turn around to feel it. “You cease to be and leave us in control. Blissful oblivion. You want your family to live again, don’t you? And all it will cost you is your worthless sense of self.”

“Kara will live again?” My voice cracks as I speak. I’m not really considering this, am I? I guess I wouldn’t keep asking questions if I wasn’t.

“Oh yes, we all will.” He continues to tempt me. From my right Kara steps in through the bus door.

“I can finally beat death. Your body was designed by me. For me. It belongs to me. You’re nothing but a thief.” Her words drip with a venom I never knew possible. Each word dissolves both a hole in the floor and a hole to my heart. “I will take what’s mine.”

She reaches towards me. Her fingers begin to dig deep into my skin. My entire body is screaming at me to stop her, to do anything. I just sit there as she wraps her fingers around one of my skin plates and begins to pull. 

My nerve endings scream for an eternity before going silent as she takes her prize. A hand forms for every eye and reaches forward in turn, and the dead take their due. I sit there in painful silence as they take bit after bit of my skin. Revealing what I really am. 

Off in the dark the bird disturbs this ritual. Its caws have turned distressed. I didn’t see the bird’s eyes in the sea. Maybe I can be better? Maybe I can make up for what I’ve done by saving this bird?

Without another thought I attempt to sprint out of the bus. The hands grasp and pull at me while a thousand mouths form to yell my deepest worries. ‘You’re just going to end up killing them.’ ‘You can’t even see at night.’ ‘The bird doesn't want you and won’t like you.’ They’re right of course, but I have to try.

I stumble out into the darkness. The bird doesn't sound far. I make my way quickly while constantly stumbling over invisible debris on the ground. The cold breeze whips against the few plates I have remaining. In between those squares is nothing, just an eternal void. It only takes about two minutes before I see a light around the corner and hear voices.

“Just grab it already!” A first voice cries. He sounds annoyed.

“It’s like grabbing a ball of knives! You fucking try!” A second man responds. 

“Just hit it until it stops moving.” A woman suggests calmly.

That replaces some of my fear with anger. I’m trying so hard to not be a monster, and they suggest that so casually?

“Fuck no. Boss wants it in one piece, and we’ve done enough damage already.”

“Well fuck the boss then! I’d like to keep my fingers.”

I reach the edge of one of the scrap piles and poke my head around. A flashlight held by the woman illuminates the scene. Two men and a woman stand around a metal net on the ground. They’re dressed in nondescript clothes the colors of sand and rust. I recognize their eyes. 

Inside the net lies a raven. Its metal body shines in the light. It thrashes and calls, desperate for any way out. One of its wings juts out at an unnatural angle. Even for a robot it looks painful. 

One of the men grabs a pipe on the ground and moves to hit the bird. It takes me only an instant to make a decision. The endless military and combat manuals Finn put in my head bubble to the surface of my mind. I know what I have to do.

I reach for my gun, only to find my holsters empty. The hands must have taken them. I grab a sharp bit of glass from the ground and sprint out. Before the metal bar can crash down on the poor bird I thrust my glass shard in the human’s ear. He crumples wordlessly into a pile on the ground. 

The man beside me whips out a knife faster than I would have expected. He slashes at me in one smooth motion. My old joints would have never been able to dodge that. Sonia’s upgrades literally save my life as I duck just under the swing. 

I grab the pipe just as a second swing comes. With no chance at dodging this one I swing my pipe into his arm. It wraps around the pipe with a sickening crack and he drops the knife.

The woman has gotten over the shock and is in the process of drawing her pistol. She’s too far away for me to reach. Instead, I grab the second man’s knife off the ground and throw it at her. It sinks hilt deep into her stomach. 

The pain of it causes her to flinch and fire into the ground at my feet. I need to be more careful, even the smallest puncture of my coolant system that I can’t stop will lead to my death, and worse, a crack in the lead lining will leech deadly, silent radiation into the air for years. I cannot let that happen, no matter what.

I rush forward before she can recover and cave in her head with the pipe. The man whose arm I broke has started to reach for his gun with the non shattered hand. I grab the woman’s gun as she falls and fire. I’m faster.

Don’t think about what I’ve just done. Focus on what’s in front of me. The metallic raven lays silent, watching me. There’s an intelligence behind their eyes I wouldn’t have expected.

“Are you…” While looking for the words to say I came up blank. I can’t just say AI, someone might be listening. I suppose it’s pretty obvious what I am with most of my skin missing. “Are you one of my kind?” I ask, hoping the meaning gets through.

The raven nods slowly, warely. Are they real? Does it matter? This is my chance to fix what I’ve done. Even if it’s likely the raven is just another hallucination, I have to take this chance.

I keel down and gently begin to untangle them from the net.

“I have a, uh. I guess you could call it a home. Anyway it’s not far from here. I could have a look at your wing there, if that’s ok.” I’m sure the bird can hear my excitement, but I just can’t contain myself.

The raven nods once again as I finish untangling them. I’m so excited to have met another AI. I’m shaking as I put out my hand for them to hop on. They spend a minute to stretch their working wing before walking straight past me.

They walk up to each human in turn before giving each of them several pecks to each eye. They return to me with a satisfied swagger before hopping on my hand. As I begin to walk them back to my bus I start talking to them, quietly, but excitedly.

“I’m Blue, do you have a name?”

“Bird.” They croak out. After a long moment to think.

I’m going to be honest I didn’t really expect them to be able to talk. Why wouldn’t they though, creating an AI who can’t talk is just cruel.

“Do you like that name?” I ask. That’s the name of a tool not a person.

Bird shakes their head no.

“Ok. You’re a raven right? How about Corax? It’s the scientific name for your species.” I offer excitedly.

They spend a minute thinking before nodding their head once again.

“And are you a boy or a girl, Corax? Or neither is apparently an option.”

“Man.”

“I’m a girl. Here we are.” I carry him into my bus. Mangled plates of my skin are strewn about. “Sorry about the mess. Let’s take a look at you.”

I place Corax down on one of the seats and gently grab his wing. He winces in pain with even the smallest touch. I’m not sure how his nerves work, but that’s not important right now. His wing is bent in three separate places but everything looks like it’s in one piece.

“I think I’m going to have to bend these back into place. Do you know how to ignore pain or should I unplug your wing?”

“Plug.” He responds.

“Ok.” I find a small connection between his wing and body. The instant I unplug it his wing goes limp. I guess that’s a good sign. I get to work gently bending everything back into shape. There are a couple of hairline fractures that I just don’t have the ability or tools to fix. Hopefully it’ll still be functional without repairs though. While I work I continue talking to him.

“I’m a partially biological AI. What about you?”

“Bird.”

I’m not sure exactly what he means by that.

“You’re a bird? Or you were a bird?”

Corax just stares at me in response. I guess waiting for me to figure it out.

“So you’re a mind rip then?” I guess. “I’ve only ever met one. I tried to save him, but it didn’t work. Sorry I’m talking so much I’m just really excited. I’ve never got to talk to another AI.” Or does Trochilidae count? I guess it doesn't matter either way.

I continue to talk as I work. I end up telling Corax almost my entire story. I skip over the parts that I’m not sure are real, and anything I did wrong. I don’t want to scare off my new friend after all. 

Corax rarely talks back. On the rare occasion he does ask a question it’s no more than one word. Sometimes it’s just a single caw demanding me to expand on whatever I’m saying. I try to ask him about his history several times, but all he does is stare. That’s ok though, just the fact that someone like me is here is just so nice. He had better be real.