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Chapter 11: Laughing Elixir
[You have killed a human.]
[You have earned exp.]
[100 CC have been earned]
[You have killed a human.]
[You have earned exp.]
[100 CC have been earned]
[You have reached level 1]
[You have gained a skill point]
~~~
Fuck! fuck! fuck!...
'Why do they have to shoot me like this? I was just looking at them,' He thought, trying to find the reason behind their action, but he couldn't find any. Yet this wasn't even his biggest concern, as he was bleeding from multiple gunshot wounds. These wounds weren't deep enough to truly kill him immediately, But he surely will die from bleeding if he doesn't stop it as soon as possible.
'How do I stop this bleeding?' he thought while walking around trying to find some first aid kits.. but realized it would be of no good, and if he came into contact with the guard, it would truly be the end for him.
His body may have stopped, but his mind was in full gear, trying to remember anything useful that might help him get out of this scenario.
That's when he remembers the notification he gets after he chooses the mage class.
It was something like, He can buy skills with skill points he gets from leveling up his class.
He can clearly see a ray of hope if he finds some skill that can heal him if not at least stop his bleeding.
He opens this status, and there at the very bottom of the screen, right underneath the store icon, is radiating a golden glow akin to a ray of hope. There he beheld the single skill point that lay within his reach. He stared at it for a while, as this one skill point might be the border between his life and death. Without further delay, he on the icon which showed his sole existing skill point.
He clicks on the icon, and as always, a confirmation message pops up in front of him.
[Would you like to spend your skill point]
"Yes," I said.
With that, a list of skills I can purchase at the moment started appearing in front of me.
There were all kinds of skills I saw here... but the more I scroll, the more it starts to get weird... At first, it shows some truly good skills like basic mana sense, meditation, and focus—the short list of skills that can truly help me in my path as a mage.
After that, these are the skills that can be helpful but truly are a waste of skill points and time, like these ones– <Automatic Shoelace Tying: the ability to automate the process of shoe lacing> or this one, <Beard Control: The talent to manipulate the shape, and color of one's facial hair at will, creating elaborate and ever-changing beard styles>.
You thought these were bad, and yes, they are bad, but at least they had some practical use, but after that were the truly horrible shits.
Like this one, <Nose balancing— can be used to balance objects on your nose>.
Okkkk, niiice skill...
Ohh! You thought nothing could be worse than this, right? No, it gets worse. Prepare yourself for the mind-blowing power of... drumroll... the legendary "Nail Tracker"!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, behold the incredible invention that will magically locate your missing nail clipping! Because, you know, losing a tiny piece of keratin is definitely a crisis that requires divine intervention.
Picture this: You're frantically searching for that minuscule nail clipping, panicking as if your entire life depends on it. But fear not, for I shall unleash my mighty, all-knowing powers! ....heroic pose....
With my Nail Tracker, equipped with the latest in nail-finding technology, I will swoop in and save the day. No longer will you have to suffer the agony of a lost nail! I will navigate through the treacherous terrain of your living room carpet, battling dust bunnies and rogue hair strands, all to reunite you with your beloved nail clipping.
Just imagine the awe-inspiring sight of me wearing a superhero cape and carrying a high-tech device that beeps and boops like it's solving the greatest mysteries of the universe. All for the sole purpose of tracking down that elusive piece of keratin that dared to escape your grasp.
So fear not, dear friend! Your lost cut nail shall be found, thanks to my unparalleled, godlike abilities. With the Nail Tracker in my hands and a determined look on my face, I shall restore peace and harmony to your nail collection.
~~~
After scrolling for some time, I lost hope and was ready to embrace death. That's when I saw the same one of those weird skills, but it was exactly what I was looking for.. I mean, not exactly, but something is better than nothing.
The skill in question was [Laughing Elixir]. As its name suggests, I can heal my wound if I laugh. This is possible because, according to the skill description, in several cultures laughter is considered the best medicine.
After hesitating for a bit, I finally made my decision.
[Would you like to purchase the skill: Laughing Elixir]
'Do I even have another choice?' and was about to rant, but at the last second decided against it. Putting these thoughts aside, I on the yes button. freewebnøvel.com
[You have learned the skill: Laughing Elixir]
With that, knowledge of how to use the skills comes to mind.
He activated the skill and his injuries started to heal.... Or that should have been the case
"Why isn't it healing?" he pondered, consumed by frustration.
Did this damn skill make him foolish? How could he forget that laughter was the key to initiating the healing process...
Then a sudden realization struck him, sending cold sweat trickling down his scalp. How can he hope to even laugh in this fucking situation?
Desperately, he searched for ways to force a laugh.
"Hehe," he attempted, but nothing happened.
"Hehehe," still nothing.
"Hehehehehehe," nothing changed yet again.
He even tried tickling himself, yet no laughter emerged. He attempted to recall his birthdays, hoping to find solace in those happy moments, but it was all in vain.
How ironic the situation he was in, isn't it? He is injured because he was laughing menacingly, and now that he has to laugh in order to get out of this situation, not even a single smile is escaping from his lips.
"Fuck! Am I just going to die like this?" he thought.
Slowly but surely, his body started getting cold in the absence of blood.
He lay down on the floor, his gaze fixed upon the barren ceiling, stripped of any solace.
His thoughts began to wander aimlessly as he recalled how every time his life seemed to be heading in the right direction, but someone always came along to fuck it up...
In a state of perplexity, he found himself laughing at his own misfortune, consumed by self-pity. How easily others had come and determined his fate for him, leaving him lying on the cold floor, awaiting the embrace of death.
Even starting at a higher power than others in this so-called evolution— yet where he was— lying on the cold floor, waiting for death to embrace him.
"Haha," he chuckled, not because he was attempting to trigger the healing process but simply laughing at his own sorry state. Yet the skill did not judge him; it began to take effect.
"Hahahahahaha."
"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha."
"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha."
Amidst his laughter, his body's nervous system sensed that he was no longer in immediate danger and granted him the respite of sleep once again.
Before drifting into slumber, he vowed.....