Bleach: Inconceivable Existence!

Kurosaki Ichigo was starting to get irritated with the Shinigami the more he interacted with them.

Mostly because out of every Shinigami he interacted only two of them were actually nice and helpful, three if Urahara was a Shinigami like he actually suspected.

Oh wait, four! That guy he met before Grand Fisher had appeared had been nice, but he also had been an ass before that. So, only three and a half Shinigami he met out of every other Shinigami he met had been nice and helpful. The others were all dicks.

Exhibit a: this silver haired cunt with closed eyes, how the hell was he even seeing anything?!

"No no no, Jidanbō. You got it all wrong, a gate guardian does not open the gate when they are defeated." The foxy looking man, named Gin as Yoruichi had called him that, waved his finger at them before unsheathing his sword; a wakizashi.

"Because a gate guardian must be killed in order to be defeated." And then the bastard slashed towards them and with a screeching sound, smoke rose from the wall Jidanbō was holding up.

Which didn't seem like the bastard's intent since he looked confused as well, as confused as a guy with his eyes closed could be, how did this guy see anyway?

It's not like he was an anime character.

"Around here, interfering is considered rude you know?" The fox faced Shinigami said with a tilted head and at that moment Ichigo realized that Cain was standing beside him. When did he even move?!

"Apologies, but where I came from, trying to cut someone's arm off is also considered rude." The transfer student said with a lazy look on his face as he rested his sword on his shoulder.

"Ahh, so this is merely a case of misunderstanding due to cultural differences then." The white haired Shinigami nodded with an understanding air around him.

"Guess so." Cain agreed as he scratched the back of his head.

And then he brought his sword down and another sound of clashing blades echoed through the air.

"I thought we just came to an understanding."

"Oh I understand all right. But it seems like our cultural differences just clashed again." Shinigami said with a smile as he held his sword in a position as if he was about to stab them.

"Drop the door big guy." Cain told Jidanbō, not taking his eyes off of the white haired Shinigami even for a moment.

"Wait, the hell are you saying?!" Ichigo started shouting but before he could continue, the transfer student kicked him in the gut and sent him flying towards their friends.

"My my, kicking your dear friend who was just trying to understand what you were planning. Quite cruel of you." Gin said as he tilted his head sideways, looking genuinely creepy.

"He is the kind of guy who needs action to understand." I said nonchalantly as I kept myself tense, ready to parry any attack from the white haired captain.

It wasn't an easy task, Ichimaru Gin's Shinsō might not be the most impressive Zanpakuto but it was definitely one of the fastest, makes me wonder how stupidly fast it would be in Bankai.

"Close the door already big guy." I told Jidanbō once more, the goliath of a Shinigami looked like he was regretting not wearing brown pants, which was an understandable reaction before a captain level Shinigami, especially one like Gin.

"I don't think I'll let you." Gin said before flash stepping a few meters behind where he used to stand, at a stance that looked like he was ready to stab someone right in front of him.

"Shoot to kill, Shinsō!" And then once more the blade of the Shinigami extended beyond what should be possible or logical for a blade, aiming right between my eyes.

Seeing this as an opportunity, I relaxed and jumped slightly above with my own sword in the extending blade's trajectory. Letting the kinetic force of the captain's Zanpakuto to push me towards Jidanbō and the giant out from under the gate.

"Bye bye!" Fox faced Shinigami said as he waved at us from behind the giant closing gate, sounding almost as smug as his smile.

Well, that had been annoying but also the right choice. The only way we could go past was to beat Gin and having a captain other than Zaraki defeated would make Yamamoto actually take us serious, which was another term for committing suicide by fiery death god.

Not on my to do list.

"Oi! Why did you interfere!" Oh yeah, we also had mister main character making a fuss here, almost forgot about him. Well, there was a way to properly deal with him though.

With that in mind I clapped my hands and called, "Tatsuki dear, if you would."

BONK

"OW!" Yup, as expected, sending tsundere childhood friend after the protagonist who did something dumb was very effective.

"The hell were YOU thinking?! Going like that guns blazing without any guns!" Oh boi, Ichigo got her mad. Makes you wonder why she didn't react like this when the carrot top was battling Jidanbō.

THUMP

"Thank you." Speak of the devil, the giant Shinigami was kneeling with his head pressed to the ground, tears of what I hoped to be gratitude flowing down like rivers.

"If it wasn't for you, I would have been killed by Captain Ichimaru. You have my gratitude!" The giant of a man said as he silently wept with relief. Guess his almost death by a captain did affect him.

"Well since you are so grateful, maybe you can do us a favor." The black cat said as she jumped on to my head with the grace of a… cat while Orihime and Chad were trying to stop Tatsuki from murdering Ichigo.

"Anything." Jidanbō said as he raised his head and even though she was out of my line of sight and in the form of a cat, I could feel Yoruichi smiling like a successful con artist.