Bleach: Inconceivable Existence!

Author Notice: This novel is now cross posted on Questionable Questioning as well under the name of EgyptianDio.

This night sucked. It sucked so fucking much!

First Rukia was acting weird. Then she ran away from home, or his closet since that's where she lived. Then when he finally found her, she had two Shinigami grabbing her and Ishida laying down in a small pool of his own blood!

And as if that wasn't enough, the Shinigami who were taking Rukia claimed that her saving his life and the life of his family was a crime and that she would be executed for it! Da fak?!

Of course, hearing the sheer amount of bullshit that came out of their mouth, Ichigo attacked them and kicked the redheaded Shinigami's ass. Sure there was a small scare when it was revealed that a Shinigami's sword could fucking TRANSFORM but still, he was kicking the ass of that Shinigami with weird eyebrows!

So of course that was the moment the other Shinigami revealed that he was super strong, broke Ichigo's bad and stabbed him. And now he was about to kill Ichigo because he was an asshole.

"Nii-sama!" Oh yeah, and the asshole that claimed that Rukia should be executed was also her brother. Making him even a lower scum in Ichigo's eyes as a fellow elder brother.

Before he could try to get up and give this failure of a brother a piece of his mind, a gunshot echoed through the air and the pompous prick brother was a few meters away from Ichigo.

And above the orange headed young man, was Cain with a smoking gun and a mocking smirk on his face.

"Good evening, mister Shinigami." The transfer student said with a heavily accented English in such a way that even a deaf person could hear him mock the Shinigami in front of them.

"Who are you?!" And the redheaded Shinigami that Ichigo was NOT losing to yelled out while the douche brother simply stayed silent and stared with cold eyes.

"Now that isn't important. Why are you holding Rukia-san like that?" Cain said with a smirk as he kept his gun pointed at the brother.

"She committed a crime." Rukia's brother said with a cold voice, having basically no emotion in it. "She will be taken to Soul Society and be punished for it." He finished with a glare, daring anyone to say otherwise.

"Hooh, a crime huh. So what did she do? Did she steal something important?" Cain said with a bored tone, looking like everything around him was below him.

"She gave her powers to a human. That is a heavy crime and she will be punished for it." The douche brother said once more, glaring at Cain but it was Ichigo who had a problem with the man's words.

"She saved my life! She doesn't deserve to be punished!" He yelled out before coughing blood, the scream having worsened his wound.

"That is irrelevant. She broke the law and will pay for it." The brother's voice held little care for the humans in front of him.

But Ichigo still held hope. He remembered how easily Cain had killed that giant hollow that he couldn't even scratch. He should be able to take Rukia to safety even with...

"Sure okay." Cain's answer dashed Ichigo's hopes as he looked up to the transfer student in horror.

Byakuya on the other hand simply raised a brow.

"Strange, I had thought that you too were here to try to 'save' her." The man said and his tone shifted when he said 'save', holding a slightly mocking tone for the two who had already tried.

"It doesn't matter anyway." And then an invisible pressure pressed Ichigo down to the dirt while the two Shinigami and Rukia had wide eyes.

"We can take her back after anyway." Cain said with an absolute assuredness in his tone and a cold look in his eyes. None which the red haired Shinigami took kindly to.

"Who do you..." He tried to take a step towards them but then had to jump back in order to avoid a shot towards his foot.

"Take your steps carefully, turnip head, or the next shot will go through your skull so that we can all check if there actually is a brain there." Cain said gruffly, making the redheaded Shinigami go red in face as well.

"Does this mean that you won't intervene?" Byakuya asked, not caring about the fact that Cain had almost shot a hole through his subordinate's foot or that he had threatened the said subordinate.

"Nope." Cain said, looking bored and making Ichigo want to punch him in the face.

"Then we shall take our leave." Rukia's brother said as he opened up a gate a gate in air and then took Rukia and his redheaded subordinate with him through it, after giving one more disdainful look towards Ichigo.

"Well, that happened." Cain said and then Ichigo finally exploded.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU..." But before he could say anything else, Cain hit the orange headed teen's head and then darkness covered his vision.

"Dumbass." I said as I walked towards Ishida who was trying to get up.

"Don't move." I said to the bespectacled boy as I used the same technique I once used on Tatsuki and let the spirit ribbons heal him.

"Thank you." Ishida said, his voice weak but definitely not to the point one would think he was in danger in a medical sense.

"You should heal Kurosaki too, his wounds are worse than mine." He said as he finally managed to get up while I snorted at him.

"Nope. The idiot will heal with normal means as a lesson about trying to tango with someone that above his weight class." Sure he would later on do the pretty much same thing but I believed that I might do the impossible and make a Shounen protagonist learn care about their own health.

A monumental task even for one such as myself.

"Were they really that strong?" Ishida asked and I rolled my eyes as I head the bitterness in his voice.

"That guy was a captain class Shinigami. Meaning that when he comes to the living world he gets eighty percent of his power sealed in order to not destroy area around him." I explained at the wide eyed teen, seemingly realizing what kind of monster he had provoked.

"That bad?"

"Even with only one fifth of his power, he could have taken a dozen of you and dozen of Kurosaki without breaking a sweat." I answered with the brutal truth to my fellow Quincy who simply clenched his fists in frustration.

"Will you guys come out already?" I said towards the bushes which caused Urahara and Tessai to pop out of the bushed, freaking Ishida out.

"Now now, we simply didn't wish to interfere with the heart to heart you and Ishida-san were having, Walter-san." The bucket hat man said as he waved his fan in front of his face with his stupid smile.

"Whatever, and just call me Cain." I said gruffly to the blond while his muscle mountain friend picked Ichigo up like a sack of potatoes.

"Well then, I believe you will come to my shop tomorrow?" Urahara asked a question which's answer we both knew of and left.

"How exactly did you heal me?" Ishida asked as he finally got out of his shock, looking at me inquisitively.

"Something I created after reverse engineering the basics of Ransōtengai. Spirit ribbons coated with energy from me and absorbing some from you in order to heal you." I said, seeing no reason to hide it.

"Be a good underling and I might teach it to you one day." I said as I left the park with a Sonido, the same way I had arrived earlier, while ignoring Ishida's indignant shout of 'underling'.