Black & Grey

“Hey? He hasn’t come down yet?”Jaehyeok shook his head.“He doesn’t answer the phone or come out when I ring the bell. He said he stayed up all night because of Gaang yesterday, so he must be completely knocked out. Can you go up and wake him? He has an appointment in fifteen minutes.”Yoochan glanced at the clock, which pointed to 9:45, and dashed out before Jaehyeok finished speaking.Entering the dark living room after punching in the code, Yoochan saw Jungeol lying on the sofa. Yoochan was about to wake him loudly but changed his mind and closed his mouth. He wondered how tired Jungeol must be to not hear the phone.Yoochan decided to leave Jungeol alone for ten more minutes.As Yoochan approached Jungeol quietly, he noticed something and stopped. The sensor light at the entrance turned off, plunging the room into complete darkness. Yoochan took a few steps back and deliberately triggered the sensor light again.Now he could see Jungeol clearly. Yoochan froze in place. Jungeol, lying on the sofa with his arm covering his face, was shirtless.Thinking he needed to wake Jungeol quickly, Yoochan took a step forward in his still-worn sneakers. The blanket precariously draped over the edge of the sofa slipped slightly with the movement. Seeing Jungeol’s long neck and thick trapezius for the first time, Yoochan swallowed hard.He had expected tattoos but hadn’t imagined they would be so large. The area Jungeol had always kept tightly covered, like someone with a cleanliness obsession, was adorned with a statue-like figure Yoochan had seen in art class. The statue, with raven-black wings, seemed to strangle the broad shoulders and neck with its muscular grip.It felt as if his own neck was being choked. Yoochan loosened the strings of his hoodie, which were tight around his neck, and took a step back. At that moment, the blanket covering Jungeol’s left shoulder fell to the floor.Covering the left scapula was a crowned lion. Next to it, a half-skull-faced David exuded an imposing presence. Along the thickly muscled side, from the armpit down, was a recently received sharp Chicano lettering tattoo.Seeing the tattoos covering Jungeol’s back like a garment, Yoochan was overwhelmed and lost for words.While Yoochan was engrossed in the sight, Jungeol moved. The muscles around the wings twitched with a low, cave-like voice, making the lion with its open mouth roar.Feeling like he was in front of a real predator, Yoochan crouched down quietly. Forgetting his original purpose of waking Jungeol, he reached out to touch the lion’s mane.Expecting a rough texture due to the lifelike lion, Yoochan was surprised to feel only smooth skin and firm muscles beneath his fingers. His fingers, bent from exercise, traced the lion’s mane down to the snake coiled around its leg.Suddenly, Yoochan realized he could no longer hear Jungeol’s quiet breathing.“……”He felt Jungeol’s gaze on him. In the silent stillness, Yoochan closed his eyes tightly. He hoped Jungeol hadn’t noticed him touching the tattoos on his back.As he swallowed hard, the firm muscles under his fingers twitched. Only then did Yoochan realize he was still foolishly touching Jungeol’s back.His trembling fingers slowly curled. He could see Jungeol’s face but couldn’t discern his expression.Yoochan wondered if Jungeol was frowning or watching indifferently. He wished Jungeol would scold him for touching someone else’s body. Then he could jokingly reply that he touched it because the tattoo was beautiful.Yoochan’s mind raced. He could easily brush it off with his usual personality, saying, “Hyung, your tattoo is beautiful.” or “Why did you hide it all this time if it looks this cool?”However, Yoochan’s embarrassment had long passed the point of making a joke, and his shorts had awkwardly pitched a tent, leaving him unable to do anything.The white shorts that reached his knees couldn’t properly hide his body’s reaction. While Yoochan was frozen, unable to get up, the entrance light turned off, and the living room was enveloped in darkness. Yoochan took the opportunity to quietly lower his hand. Jungeol’s gaze was still fixed on his left cheek.At that moment.“Let’s turn on the light.”“…Yes, Hyung!”Seizing the moment, Yoochan hurriedly got up and turned on the switch. The first thing he did when the room brightened was check his pants. Fortunately, it seemed he could pass it off as just being well-endowed.Relieved, Yoochan turned his gaze back to the sofa. Jungeol, now sitting up, stretched his neck upwards. Yoochan realized he needed to say something. Surprised at himself for searching for words, he looked at Jungeol’s profile and spoke.“Uh, you have an appointment in ten minutes? You should hurry.”“It’s fine.”“What?”“I postponed it by an hour since I was going to be late.”“Postponed? I just heard from Jaehyeok Hyung.”“I got a DM a little while ago.”Jungeol answered, rotating his neck as if it was stiff.“A little… while ago?”Yoochan stared blankly at Jungeol, not fully understanding. Did he mean twenty or thirty minutes ago? Then why didn’t he answer Jaehyeok’s call? While Yoochan was lost in thought, Jungeol turned his head and looked directly at him.“I’ve been awake for the past five minutes.”Yoochan froze for a few seconds under Jungeol’s gaze. He needed time to process his thoughts. The realization hit him like a bolt of lightning. Yoochan’s pupils trembled rapidly. If Jungeol had been awake for the past five minutes, he had been watching since Yoochan entered the officetel.Including the moment he poked Jungeol’s left shoulder blade and traced the tattoos along his armpit and side.All optimistic thoughts burned to ashes. Yoochan remembered the feeling of Jungeol’s gaze on his left cheek while he was touching the tattoos. Although Jungeol probably hadn’t seen his sudden lower body reaction in the brief moment before the lights went out, his expression had been blatantly exposed.Not knowing what his expression had been, Yoochan quickly covered his suddenly burning cheeks with his arm and blurted out.“I came to wake you up, but why were you pretending to sleep with your eyes closed? You’re a strange Hyung.”To hide his embarrassment, Yoochan deliberately acted more playful. He thought Jungeol would respond in his usual, slightly blunt manner. But Jungeol’s voice didn’t reach his ears. Yoochan slowly lowered the arm covering his lower face, dropped his gaze once, and then raised it again.Jungeol was silently watching him. He wasn’t frowning, nor was he smiling. He didn’t look excited or flustered either. If anything, his expression was one of curiosity. Jungeol was puzzled by Yoochan’s actions.It wasn’t too late. Yoochan thought he should bring up the tattoo now. He could say he touched it because it was cool and interesting…“Cool and interesting…”“What?”“Huh?”Yoochan stupidly repeated himself, his inner thoughts slipping out strangely. Jungeol frowned and rubbed his neck as he spoke.“Why are you saying weird things? Did you drink?”“Ah…”“……”“Ah, yes! I drank! I drank a lot! I think I’m really drunk!”Seizing the opportunity, Yoochan hurriedly spoke. He wondered why he hadn’t immediately used the drinking excuse. He had only had three glasses, but it provided a slight excuse for his abnormal behavior of poking someone else’s back and his flushed face.In fact, Yoochan thought he might actually be drunk. He could explain touching the tattoo out of curiosity, but the physical reaction was inexplicable.He was a man, and Jungeol was a man. As far as Yoochan knew, the only time he had shown interest in a man’s body was when their muscles were more developed than his, evoking both jealousy and admiration.“Ah.”Jungeol seemed to accept Yoochan’s claim of being drunk, relaxing his expression for the first time and leaning back against the sofa. By then, Yoochan’s lower body had completely calmed down, and although it wasn’t visible, his face had probably returned to its normal color.“No wonder. I was wondering why you were touching a sleeping person’s body.”Just as Yoochan thought he had narrowly escaped the crisis, a second wave of despair hit him. Fortunately, Yoochan had now regained his composure.“Ah, it’s because Hyung kept hiding it. I just wanted to look, but the lion’s mane looked so real that I touched it.”“Really? And the Chicano lettering was ‘real’ too, so you touched it?”Jungeol teased, lifting the corners of his lips for the first time. Yoochan widened his eyes and spoke as if wronged.“It wasn’t the lettering, it was the snake! The snake coiled around the lion’s left leg was so fascinating…! Ah, forget it. I’ll show you mine too.”Yoochan exaggeratedly spoke and suddenly threw off his shirt. He pushed his well-proportioned, muscular upper body, which was slightly less thick than Jungeol’s, towards Jungeol.“Look all you want. You can touch it if you’re jealous.”Jungeol glanced at Yoochan’s side and chuckled before standing up from the sofa. It seemed he had completely lost interest in what had just happened. Jungeol spoke in his usual tone.“Did we plan to have dinner tomorrow?”Yoochan straightened his back and nodded.“Decide what you want to eat and text me. Oh, and…”Jungeol pointed at Yoochan’s lower body with his eyes and spoke as if disappointed.“It’s lacking.”Then he walked past Yoochan and headed to the entrance. Yoochan stared blankly at Jungeol putting on his sneakers, then suddenly widened his eyes and shouted.“…What is?”By then, the door had opened, and Jungeol had stepped outside. Yoochan chased after him, shouting.“Hyung! What do you mean by ‘lacking’? You mean my external oblique muscles, right? Not anything else, right? Hyung! Don’t leave, tell me! Hyung…!”It’s about your external oblique muscles.Relieved by Jungeol’s message, Yoochan covered his face in embarrassment. He had never felt inferior about his height, muscles, or anything else, but Jungeol’s different level seemed to have triggered an unnecessary inferiority complex.He wanted to take a breather. But the words on the monitor’s search bar interrupted his thoughts.Excited by tattoosYoochan swallowed hard and pressed enter. The word “stigmatophilia” appeared, describing people who find scars attractive. But the related images made Yoochan frown. He narrowed his search to “tattoo fetish” and “tattoo lover.”The screen filled with people proudly showing off their tattoos.Yoochan stared intently at the tattoos on their bodies. He didn’t feel the same excitement as when he saw the lion on Jungeol’s body. Even the high-quality ones felt different from when he saw Jungeol’s back.He suddenly remembered his heart racing in the space with Jungeol and Dahee. Just in case, Yoochan nervously bent and straightened his fingers and slowly typed another search term.▶│ Man excited by seeing another man’s naked body“…This isn’t it.”Feeling embarrassed, Yoochan couldn’t bring himself to type the last character and quickly pressed the backspace key to clear the search bar.“No way. I’ve never felt this way before.”As he spoke, he remembered reacting when Jungeol gave him a fake tattoo a few days ago.“No way. Absolutely not. Can this happen suddenly at twenty?”His voice grew louder and more trembling towards the end.Yoochan thought of Sunah, his first crush in elementary school. The face of Eunbit, his last girlfriend who was white, cute, and lovely, also passed by. The face of Soojung, who had been proactive from the first day of orientation and held his hand first at the beach, also swirled in Yoochan’s mind. Yoochan shook his head vigorously and kept talking to himself.“No… absolutely not…”Yoochan desperately tried to recall the faces of Sunah, Eunbit, and Soojung, whom he had liked. He wanted to confirm that he liked women, only women.No matter how hard he tried, their faces were gradually sucked into the black vortex in his mind. The black vortex soon formed a shape and turned into Jungeol’s face.“No.”He could no longer think of Sunah, Eunbit, or Soojung’s faces. What came to mind was Jungeol’s side profile lying on the sofa with his eyes closed, his pumped muscular body, and the black-and-gray tattoos that suited him so well.Reaching that point, Yoochan sprang up like a spring. He shouted like a madman in the middle of the night.“No, no, no, no! Stop thinking about it, you crazy idiot!”* * *People moving early in the morning to get to work parted like the Red Sea to avoid Yoochan’s large body sprinting down the street. Yoochan had woken up two hours earlier than usual and was running around the neighborhood in his training clothes. With the hood of his jumper casting a shadow over his face, Yoochan looked several times more fierce than usual.He looked like a young enforcer going to punish a traitor in the organization, but in reality, Yoochan was just tired.He hadn’t slept a wink all night. To deny his pounding heart, he had run out of the house and jogged for an hour, then after washing up and lying down again, he had to run around the neighborhood again within ten minutes. He wanted to find another reason for his racing heart.But all his efforts were in vain. As soon as he covered himself with the blanket, the image of Jungeol’s back, filled with black tattoos, came to mind. The deep groove along the bulging erector spinae, the thick external oblique muscles that had every right to mock Yoochan… and more…“Ah, damn it…! Stop it!”Yoochan shouted involuntarily. A man in a suit passing by was startled by Yoochan’s outburst and stepped aside. Yoochan nodded apologetically and passed the man with an awkward expression.Yoochan pushed off the ground as if the lion on Jungeol’s back was chasing him. His thighs and calves ached from running all night, but he didn’t care. He wanted to forget the memory of seeing Jungeol’s body.Standing at the crosswalk, blocked by a red light, Yoochan shook his head vigorously. He even grabbed his short hair with both hands. If he could grab Jungeol’s thoughts with his hands and tear them out like he did with his opponent’s collar in judo, he would gladly do so.But no matter how hard he tried, the image of the roaring lion wouldn’t leave his mind. Thoughts about the muscular body and tattoos were like a catchy idol song during exam season. The more he tried not to think about it, the more the thoughts drilled into his brain like a drill.Unable to bear it, Yoochan grabbed his head and shouted, then muttered to himself.“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t be scared, Baek Yoochan.”Yoochan’s eyes didn’t look okay at all, but he kept repeating to himself.“It was only half, right? That can happen. If you really liked Hyung, and he was in your room? Even half-naked, wouldn’t it be weird if you only reacted halfway? Just because you reacted a bit doesn’t mean you’re suddenly gay. Get a grip, man. Baek Yoochan, you like girls. Remember Soojung? Huh? Soojung?”His disorganized words stopped briefly when a customer came out of the nearby convenience store. After the customer went inside, Yoochan took off his hood and unzipped his jacket all the way, placing his hands on his hips. His eyes, which had been wandering aimlessly, suddenly stopped at a point.“Ah…! Is it because I see him too often? Wow, that’s it. That’s what it is.”Yoochan’s eyes widened with a smile as if he had found the answer. He thought it was because he visited the shop almost every day to get tattoos. He believed that not seeing any girls recently, except for Yeji, also played a part.“No wonder. There’s no way I like men.”Yoochan justified his physical reaction with a crazed smile.He didn’t have time to think about why he only reacted to Jungeol, despite meeting several women like Manager and Dahee, aside from Soojung, who made eye contact with him until the MT, and Yeji, Jinhong’s girlfriend.Yoochan was just satisfied with finding a plausible excuse and began to think about a solution. If he was attracted to Jungeol because he saw him often and was close to him, he just needed to see him less and be less close from now on.The problem was tonight’s dinner appointment. He wanted to avoid having dinner alone with Jungeol in his unstable state of feeling more than necessary affection for another man. He wanted to meet a woman somehow and confirm that he liked women.Feeling sorry for Jungeol, Yoochan decided to cancel the appointment. He needed an excuse. Coincidentally, midterms were starting next week. Although Yoochan’s major was mostly practical, Jungeol wouldn’t know that.Yoochan contacted Jungeol immediately.Hyung, I’m sorry, but can we cancel tonight’s dinner? I forgot I have midterms next week. I think I’ll have to stay up all night at the library.Even while sending the text, his heart plummeted and then soared again. He felt guilty for lying to Jungeol. As the reply was delayed, his condition worsened. While rubbing his left chest, which felt like it was about to burst, Jungeol finally replied.Jungeol: Sure. Let’s meet later.Yoochan: Yes, Hyung.After replying neatly, Yoochan shoved his phone into his training pants pocket and stood up with a refreshed mind. He felt that everything would go smoothly if he stayed away from Jungeol for a while.Having canceled the appointment, he wanted to find a girlfriend as soon as possible. Even if dating was too much, he wanted to feel romantic emotions towards a woman somehow. Yoochan immediately called Daehan and asked if there was a spot left for the meeting.* * *“Baek Yoochan, they want to go to karaoke over there.”“Huh? Oh, okay…”During the meeting that started at a pub near the university, Daehan poked Yoochan’s side and said. Yoochan agreed absentmindedly. His expression was reluctant. Yoochan wondered why he felt so off.As Daehan said, the girls were nice, and the atmosphere had been lively for two hours. To avoid thinking about Jungeol, Yoochan joked more than usual and even volunteered to be the girls’ black knight, despite usually avoiding alcohol due to muscle loss. Among the friends who went with him, Yoochan was the tallest and most handsome, so one or two of the girls seemed to have taken a liking to him.Among them, there was a girl who was Yoochan’s type. Yoochan thought she would readily agree if he asked to exchange numbers. However, during the move to the karaoke room, Yoochan didn’t get any of the girls’ numbers and instead stared intently at his phone.“Who are you waiting for?”A friend who came along glanced at Yoochan’s phone screen and asked. Yoochan shook his head, saying it was nothing, but his gaze remained fixed on his phone. There was nothing to see or check, yet he couldn’t take his eyes off it.Yoochan, not knowing what he was waiting for, suddenly stopped in his tracks when a message popped up.Jungeol: I’ve made the changes, so let me know if there’s anything else you want to adjust.It was Jungeol. When he opened the file, a properly finished leopard design appeared, unlike the previous one, which only had lines and rough shading. The leopard’s ears were drawn longer and sharper, just as Yoochan had requested. Yoochan couldn’t take his eyes off Jungeol’s message, even though he was impressed by the fierce eyes that looked ready to pounce on an enemy.It was only after receiving the message that Yoochan realized why he hadn’t been able to focus on the meeting and kept looking at his phone. Yoochan frowned and pondered for a moment before sending a short reply.Yoochan: No changes needed. It’s beautiful.That was it. He stared at his phone a bit longer, but the number 1 indicating a new message didn’t disappear. Yoochan kept looking at the persistent number 1 until he arrived at the karaoke room, then finally put his phone away.Trying to shake off thoughts of Jungeol, Yoochan grabbed the microphone first and livened up the atmosphere. Everyone seemed to enjoy Yoochan’s enthusiastic behavior, but Yoochan himself wasn’t having any fun. He thought it would be more interesting to watch the hyungs tattooing at the shop.‘What nonsense.’Watching the hyungs tattoo? Yoochan thought self-deprecatingly and ended up not asking for anyone’s number by the time the two hours at the karaoke room were over. His friends, who had already exchanged numbers, gave Yoochan knowing looks, but Yoochan gave a half-hearted goodbye and boarded the bus with slumped shoulders.Yoochan got off at the bus stop in front of the building where the officetel was and looked at the tattoo shop with its lights on. He was half inclined to go and half inclined not to. Feeling that he would only get more confused without finding any answers, Yoochan shook his head and lowered his gaze. Then he spotted a man sitting with a large dog in the officetel’s garden and muttered in exasperation.“Why does that hyung have to be so tall and noticeable from afar? Is he a movie star or what?”Thinking it was really annoying, Yoochan crossed the street following the changed traffic light. As he approached, he put his hands in his pockets and stood still. Jungeol, who had been petting Gaang with his upper body bent, frowned and looked up when a shadow fell over him.Seeing Jungeol relax his frown upon recognizing him, Yoochan spoke first.“Hyung, what are you doing here?”“Just taking a walk.”Jungeol casually gestured to Gaang with his chin while rolling a pack of cigarettes in his hand.“I see.”Yoochan lowered his head and let out a long sigh, as if feeling stifled. Jungeol looked Yoochan up and down, then smirked slightly and teased.“Do you drink at the library these days?”Having overdone it playing the black knight, Yoochan must have looked drunk. Embarrassed, Yoochan scratched his cheek and said.“Actually, I went to a meeting. Sorry for lying. I felt like I had to go earlier. I thought my peaceful life would change drastically if I didn’t.”Jungeol looked at the increasingly flushed Yoochan and spoke with an amused expression.“Did you have any success?”“Huh?”“You said you wanted to get a girlfriend.”“Oh.”Yoochan shook his head.“I didn’t get a girlfriend.”“That’s unfortunate.”Seeing Jungeol’s narrowed eyes, Yoochan spoke again.“It’s okay. I did gain something else.”Holding Gaang with one arm as if asking him to explain, Jungeol looked at Yoochan. Yoochan chuckled and shrugged as he continued.“I figured out how I feel.”“What do you mean?”Gaang twisted his body in Jungeol’s arms as if in pain. Jungeol frowned and put Gaang down in the garden. Seeing Jungeol tightly grip his left hand, Yoochan realized his chronic condition had flared up again.“Ha, this is ridiculous.”Feeling pained by someone else’s wrist hurting, Yoochan pulled his hand out of his pocket and muttered in disbelief. Then he grabbed Jungeol’s arm and started massaging it.“Clear your schedule for lunch tomorrow and come with me somewhere. I think you need acupuncture for this, so I can feel at ease.”* * *“Should I confess today?”Yoochan suddenly opened his mouth while resting with his friends in the school cafeteria during their break. At his sudden words, Kigan coughed and choked, and Jinhong spat out the iced Americano he was drinking. Only Daehan frowned and asked, “What nonsense are you spouting out of the blue?”“Why are you so surprised?”Yoochan raised his eyebrows as if asking what the problem was at the astonished faces of the three.“I didn’t say I would confess right away; I just asked if I should.”“So, you’ve been seeing someone secretly?”Jinhong scooted closer to Yoochan, pushing the glass aside as if he had found something interesting. Yoochan frowned and spoke seriously.“First of all, definitely not seeing anyone.”“Really? Who is it?”“Someone you don’t know. Ah, damn. It’s been days, and I can’t stand it anymore. How about I just confess? Should I just go all in and confess, regardless of what happens? Should I call them out right now?”“Hey, hey. Calm down.”Jinhong and Kigan grabbed Yoochan’s arms from both sides as he excitedly stood up as if he was about to leave immediately, not caring about the afternoon class.“Think before you act. Do you think they will accept?”“I don’t know. I don’t know anything. My mind is so messed up, it feels like my head is going to explode.”“Who is it anyway? Are you close?”“Sort of. I don’t think they dislike me. They reply well when I text. But they don’t text first unless they have something to ask. That’s driving me crazy. Am I the only one interested?”“Then don’t confess just yet. You might embarrass yourself. Remember how Kigan rented a lecture hall to confess to a senior at the beginning of the semester and got rejected?”“Park Jinhong, stop crossing the line. Why bring up old stories and make a fuss?”Kigan and Jinhong started arguing loudly again. Yoochan watched them, then frowned and rested his forehead on his hand as if his head hurt.“Ah, damn. I think I’d feel better if I just confessed.”Although this wasn’t his first relationship, Yoochan’s mind was tangled because it was the first time he couldn’t predict the other person’s feelings at all. Daehan spoke to Yoochan, who was running his hand through his short hair as if heated.“Do they know you like them?”“…Probably not?”Yoochan tilted his head ambiguously. He had only realized his feelings three days ago. It didn’t seem like Jungeol would have noticed it so quickly. Jinhong pushed Kigan’s head away and said.“Then don’t confess just yet. Be nice to them first.”“How?”“Be kind yet indifferent, you know? Push and pull. Don’t show that you like them. See how they react to your actions. If they seem to be more than halfway interested, confess then.”Yoochan’s ears perked up at Jinhong’s advice to be kind yet indifferent and to push and pull. Thinking about it, Yoochan hadn’t really been kind to Jungeol yet. The most he had done was wrapping a cloth around Jungeol’s wrist.Yoochan’s eyes lit up as if he had found the answer.“Alright. I’ll do that.”“Good decision. The important thing is to be nice first but not show that you like them. Just dip a toe in. That way, you won’t embarrass yourself later.”Dip a toe in. Be kind yet indifferent.As Yoochan nodded, keeping Daehan’s advice in mind, he frowned and said.“But even if I want to be nice, I don’t have a reason to meet them.”The design was almost complete, and there were no canceled appointments, so the only answer was to visit the shop and see Jungeol in person. But even that wasn’t as easy as it seemed.Yoochan took out his phone and checked his past messages with Jungeol.The last message was Jungeol replying that he was out with Taeho when Yoochan asked why he wasn’t at the shop. Since their encounter in front of the officetel, their schedules hadn’t aligned, and they hadn’t seen each other for three days. Every time Yoochan went to the shop, Jungeol was either working or out eating with Taeho and the Manager.After three days, Yoochan’s patience reached its limit, and he impulsively blurted out, “Should I confess today?”“You can always make an excuse to meet. Just say you want to buy him dinner.”“Of course… It’s different when you have a girlfriend.”Listening to Jinhong and Kigan’s conversation, Yoochan seemed to gain confidence and stood up abruptly, taking his phone outside. He called Jungeol, and fortunately, Jungeol answered after a short while.[Hey.]“Hyung, do you have plans for dinner?”[…Today?]“Yes. Do you have any plans for dinner today?”[…Not really, until eight.]“Then have dinner with me. I’ll come to the shop.”[What?]“I said, let’s have dinner. Don’t you like food?”[…Alright. Let’s eat.]“Really? Then I’ll see you at the shop later. See you then, Hyung.”After finishing the call with Jungeol, who seemed to have agreed reluctantly, Yoochan felt relieved. “Just dip a toe in.” His mind was filled with Daehan’s advice.After leaving the judo hall earlier than usual, Yoochan took a taxi to the shop. He took Jungeol, who had just finished seeing off a customer, to a nearby grilled fish restaurant.Smelling the mackerel grilling in the restaurant, Yoochan admitted that his choice of venue wasn’t great. He considered changing locations, but Jungeol was already heading to a window seat. Yoochan had no choice but to sit across from Jungeol.Be kind yet indifferent.As he looked at the menu, Yoochan repeated “be kind yet indifferent” in his mind like a mantra and glanced at Jungeol. Jungeol was flipping through the menu and rotating his left wrist. Yoochan thought even the simple act of rotating his wrist and the veins standing out on the back of his hand looked oddly sensual and said,“Does your wrist hurt? Should I massage it for you?”“…No.”Jungeol looked puzzled for a moment, then stopped rotating his wrist. Yoochan said regretfully,“I’m really good at massaging wrists.”“What does being good at massaging wrists even mean?”Jungeol chuckled and chose his menu. Yoochan picked the same thing and told the waiter. After the waiter left, Yoochan sat close to the table, thinking “be kind yet indifferent” and smiling at Jungeol.It was hard not to notice Yoochan’s intense gaze. Jungeol, seemingly bothered, tapped the table twice and then spoke to Yoochan as if he had made up his mind.“What’s going on?”“What do you mean?”Yoochan asked back, puzzled by the sudden question. Jungeol, not even thinking of picking up his utensils, clasped his hands on the table and asked seriously.“You asked me to dinner because you have something to say, right?”Yoochan’s eyes trembled as Jungeol hit the mark. Yoochan awkwardly raised the corners of his mouth and replied,“I just wanted to get closer to you, Hyung.”“That doesn’t seem to be it.”Jungeol looked at the stiff Yoochan, then relaxed his broad shoulders and added,“If you want to change the design, you can.”“What? It’s not about the design.”“So you do have something to say.”“…Ah, well.”Yoochan grimaced, barely swallowing the words that had reached his throat.“Don’t rush me. I need time to think about this too.”“Baek Yoochan.”“Just a moment, give me a minute. I need to run a simulation to see if this question is okay.”Unaware that Jungeol was watching him with amusement, Yoochan fell into deep thought. Asking, “What do you think about a guy liking another guy?” seemed like a reasonable question, right?“So, if a guy…”“Yeah.”Just as Yoochan was about to say something he absolutely shouldn’t, the waiter arrived and placed the mackerel set on the table.“Hold on, let me drink some water first.”After downing a glass of cold green tea, Yoochan realized the question he was about to ask was insane and quickly shut his mouth.Yoochan cursed inwardly. He must have been so nervous that his thoughts were paralyzed. He hadn’t fully regained his composure, but Jungeol kept asking what was going on.In fact, there was plenty to say. From complimenting how well the tattoo suited Jungeol’s back to asking when his last relationship was, if he had ever liked a guy, and if he would accept a confession from a guy.But those questions were premature. Yoochan’s wavering gaze landed on Jungeol’s firm forearm.‘I couldn’t take my eyes off the appropriately thick forearm under the slightly rolled-up shirt sleeve. Hyung’s arm muscles are so sexy,’ Yoochan thought, and wondered if that kind of question would be okay between Hyung and dongsaeng, but before he could think further, his lips opened first.“Hyung, your muscles…”Just as the thoughtless words were about to spill out, Yoochan snapped back to reality, barely holding on at the edge of a cliff, and said,“Hyung, I want to make muscles like yours, how do I do it?”“What?”Jungeol squinted as though he misheard. Yoochan realized the conversation had taken a strange turn but couldn’t take back what he had already said. He thought it was all over but had no choice but to continue rambling.“Well… I’m trying to get in shape this time. Out of the people I know, you have the best body. I wanted to ask about your routine. Especially for the external obliques… ha…”It wasn’t a complete lie that he was genuinely trying to get in shape, so despite the time he had spent thinking, the answer came easily. Yoochan stole a glance at Jungeol, hoping for him to let it slide.“Is that all?”Jungeol asked with suspicion. Yoochan clenched his teeth, nodding firmly to make sure he wouldn’t speak any more nonsense.“Yeah.”“…….”“It’s on my computer. I’ll send it to you.”Fortunately, it seemed that Jungeol’s suspicion had cleared up, and he uncrossed his fingers, picking up his utensils. With a sigh of relief, Yoochan looked at him and thought of the phrase ‘indifferently kind,’ as he broke the mackerel with his chopsticks and placed a large piece on Jungeol’s rice.“…….”Jungeol, who was about to eat his rice, froze in surprise, and Yoochan, thinking he had hidden his emotions perfectly, shoveled a full spoonful of rice into his mouth.Chewing noisily, Yoochan noticed that Jungeol was still frozen and raised his eyebrows, as if to ask what was wrong. Jungeol was staring at the large piece of mackerel placed on his rice as if he had never seen mackerel before. Watching Jungeol’s trembling pupils, Yoochan suddenly realized something and exclaimed, “Ah!”“I gave it to you before I licked the chopsticks. It’s fine to eat!”Thinking that Jungeol was upset because of a misunderstanding, Yoochan said that. Jungeol’s expression softened as he saw Yoochan’s determined eyes and his head nodding reassuringly.“Ah, I’ll eat well.”Yoochan, smiling warmly like a proud father watching his son eat, looked at Jungeol’s eyes. Noticing that Jungeol still seemed quite tired, he asked,“Did you not sleep last night because of Gaang?”“What?”“How many hours did you sleep?”“Not sure. I woke up five or six times, so I don’t really know.”Since it was an everyday occurrence, Jungeol answered without much concern. Yoochan frowned slightly as if displeased and asked,“Was Gaang like this even two years ago? Back then, you were sleeping at the shop too.”Jungeol nodded after swallowing his food.“It got worse while I was in the U.S. I thought it would be okay with Taeho, but…”“I see. How long were you in the U.S.?”Yoochan asked as he took another large spoonful of rice.“About four months.”“Wow, did Gaang get that bad in that time? I heard from Manager Noona that Gaang is really Taeho Hyung’s dog.”“Yeah. Taeho brought him in. The identification chip has Taeho’s family address on it. We’ve been living together for a while, so it doesn’t really matter.”“Why does Gaang only obsess over you, though? Do dogs like good-looking people more? Well, I guess dogs do have eyes, so that makes sense.”“……”Jungeol, who was chewing his food in silence after Yoochan casually mentioned his looks, felt a bit embarrassed, though he didn’t show it. In situations like this, Jungeol could only either change the subject or pretend he didn’t hear. This time, he chose to ignore it and continue eating. Yoochan, tapping his chin thoughtfully, suddenly asked,“Hyung, have you ever tried doing any behavioral correction with Gaang? Like training him?”“Taeho’s looking into it now.”After returning from the U.S., both Jungeol and Taeho had been extremely busy with work. Instead of the long-term effort needed for behavioral correction, they chose to spend all day with Gaang, thinking that time would fix things, but it turned out to be a misjudgment. Gaang’s separation anxiety only got worse over time.“Still, pitbull terriers are known for being fighting dogs, so it’s lucky that Gaang hasn’t caused any serious accidents, except for jumping. He really likes people, though. I walked him, and he was really nice to a dog he’d never met before.”“He needs to stop jumping too. Someone’s already gotten hurt.”“What? Someone got hurt? That’s serious. We need to find a trainer quickly. I’ll look into it too.”Jungeol, looking at Yoochan with a puzzled expression when he mentioned that Gaang had caused someone to get hurt, wondered if Yoochan was joking, but Yoochan seemed completely serious, as if he had forgotten about the incident.“I saw on TV that separation anxiety in dogs is really a problem.”Yoochan clicked his tongue sympathetically before shoveling a large bite of spinach into his mouth.Jungeol, who had been looking at Yoochan like he was some sort of fascinating creature, let out a small chuckle and swept his hair back from under his eyebrows. As Yoochan, with a full cheek of rice, was choosing a side dish, he noticed Jungeol’s hair slipping between his fingers and stopped for a moment.Jungeol’s hair, a little longer than his own, was curly in a way that looked good, unlike Yoochan’s short, straight hair that he kept because he worked out. As he stared at Jungeol’s neat forehead between his slightly parted bangs while still holding his chopsticks, Yoochan suddenly asked,“Hyung, does your wrist hurt often? Or is it just sometimes?”“If I hold a machine for too long, it hurts, but normally it’s fine.”Yoochan frowned, worried about Jungeol’s wrist, then suddenly checked the time.“Hyung, there’s still an hour left until eight, right?”“Yeah. Why?”Yoochan just smiled at Jungeol without answering.After finishing their meal, Jungeol went outside first, saying he would bring the car around while Yoochan drank some water. Yoochan realized there was no bill on the table and hurried to the counter. The staff said the bill had already been paid. Jungeol must have paid it while Yoochan wasn’t looking.“Damn, this isn’t right.”Yoochan’s plan to treat Jungeol to dinner and practice “kind yet indifferent” was falling apart. As he descended to the first floor, Yoochan made a determined phone call.By the time the call ended, Jungeol’s SUV was parked in front of Yoochan. Yoochan entered an address into the navigation system while looking at his phone.“We only have fifty minutes left, so let’s hurry.”“Where are we going?”“We don’t have time. They said they’d close soon. Come on, let’s go!”Yoochan tapped the dashboard with his hand, urging Jungeol. Jungeol looked at Yoochan with a puzzled expression but eventually stepped on the accelerator.A few minutes later, the car arrived at an outdoor parking lot about ten minutes away from Jungeol’s shop. Jungeol looked around at the surrounding buildings. There were restaurants, small cafes, a jjimjilbang, and a Korean medicine clinic.“This way, Hyung.”Yoochan grabbed Jungeol’s arm and hurried him along. Yoochan led Jungeol to a large Korean medicine clinic on the second floor of a building.“A Korean medicine clinic?”Jungeol frowned at the sign, and Yoochan pushed his broad back, saying,“They’re really good here.”It was a place Yoochan had visited frequently during his judo days whenever he had muscle pain. The acupuncture treatments had always been effective, so Yoochan wanted to introduce Jungeol to the clinic.As they entered, the receptionist recognized Yoochan and greeted him with a bright smile. They were told to go right in, and Yoochan and Jungeol entered the director’s office together.“Hello, Director!”Yoochan bowed politely and greeted the director. The director welcomed Yoochan with a friendly expression.“Oh, Yoochan. It’s been a while. How are your shoulder and ankle?”“I haven’t been training as hard lately, so they’re fine. Ah, I called earlier, but I’m not here for my shoulder today. Please take a look at this hyung. He uses his wrist a lot for work, and it hurts every day.”The director, who had already heard the story, asked Jungeol to roll up his left sleeve and lie down. Jungeol, who hadn’t realized he was the reason for the visit, looked at Yoochan as if asking for an explanation. Yoochan smiled and gently pushed Jungeol’s shoulder.“Why are you surprised? I told you we should get acupuncture last time, remember? Hurry up and lie down. The director is waiting.”Yoochan, who was impatient, urged Jungeol. With no other choice, Jungeol rolled up his left sleeve and lay down on the bed. Yoochan, still not reassured, tapped the floor with his sneaker and eventually approached the director, who was preparing the acupuncture needles.“Director, I forgot to mention something when I called earlier.”The director looked at Yoochan while holding a needle. Yoochan leaned in close and spoke in a serious voice, as if sharing a significant secret.“This hyung is actually a famous tattoo artist. His work is incredibly expensive. You know what I mean. You have to treat him like you did my dad when he was on the national team. This hyung is so popular that when he opens his schedule, people from all over the world book him, and it gets fully booked in five minutes. And you know Mauro, right? The Italian soccer player who looks like a mix of Beckham and Brad Pitt. He got tattooed by this hyung…”“Enough.”Unable to listen to Yoochan’s endless praise, Jungeol covered Yoochan’s mouth with his other hand. Yoochan, who had widened his eyes, quieted down when Jungeol signaled him to stop talking with his index finger.After the acupuncture treatment, while Jungeol was talking to the director, Yoochan went outside first. A moment later, Jungeol followed Yoochan out and said,“They said I don’t need to pay. Did you cover it?”“Yes.”Yoochan nodded nonchalantly. Jungeol took out his phone and asked for Yoochan’s bank account number. Yoochan waved it off, saying,“I’ve been coming here since I was a kid, so the director knows me well. My whole family are regulars, so we get a discount.”In reality, Yoochan’s mother owned the building, and the director gave special discounts only to Yoochan’s family, but Yoochan decided to skip that detail.“It only cost about as much as a meal, and you bought dinner earlier, so we’re even. Right? If it bothers you, you can buy me dinner twice more. We’re not just going to see each other once and be done, right?”Before Jungeol could argue, Yoochan quickly spoke and then checked the time, urging Jungeol to hurry. Listening to Yoochan’s nonstop chatter, Jungeol found himself in the parking lot without having time to feel guilty about spending a twenty-year-old’s allowance.“How’s your wrist now? Did the acupuncture hurt?”As soon as he got into the passenger seat, Yoochan asked curiously. “Well, it’s okay.” Jungeol glanced at his hand on the steering wheel and answered. Yoochan looked at Jungeol’s wrist with a relieved expression, as if monitoring its movement. Enduring Yoochan’s intense gaze, Jungeol looked at him decisively when the car stopped at a red light.As if waiting for eye contact, Yoochan smiled and said,“Hyung, can we eat together often?”Jungeol thought the expression “eat together often” was awkward, but since Yoochan was a unique person, he figured Yoochan’s words were naturally unusual and asked,“How often is often?”“Whenever you have time. I noticed you don’t have a set dinner time and eat after finishing tattoos. I’ll come here from the judo hall and match your schedule. Let’s have dinner together often.”