Beyond The Control

Chapter 25

I remind myself again that this is not a sexual act, but a guiding act. Trying to keep that fact in mind, I let the energy flow through the point of contact. Without realizing it, I become increasingly engrossed and focused, and at some point, I feel Song Ji-hyeok’s tongue moving as well.

The sensation of our slick tongues rubbing against each other sends shivers down my spine. Although I had casually mentioned something about mucosal guiding to Song Ji-hyeok, it had been a really long time since I had done this, let alone received it.

As an Esper, I tend to be cautious about self-protection, and as a Guide, the Espers who seek me out are usually of similar ranks, so I can usually manage with light skinship. There was an Esper who came close to a 70 percent matching rate, but they left for the United States two years ago, so I haven’t had the need for deep guiding since then.

“Ah…!”

Suddenly, I feel a sharp pain at the tip of my tongue. Song Ji-hyeok, who had already pulled his lips away, expressed his dissatisfaction.

“Don’t let your mind wander,” he said.

Before I could protest, he pressed his lips against mine again. The force pushed my lower lip against my teeth, momentarily bringing tears to my eyes. But with my mouth completely covered, I couldn’t voice my objection.

‘Alright, let’s see how this goes.’

It wasn’t in my nature to back down when the stage was set. Fumbling, I grabbed the back of Song Ji-hyeok’s head and moved my tongue, continuing the guiding. Eventually, I couldn’t tell if I was focusing on the kiss or the guiding.

The physical response was clear. As the guiding time increased and I transferred my intangible energy through our points of contact, a unique sense of satisfaction spread throughout my body. The sensation, not unlike sexual excitement, gradually built up tension in my core.

Fortunately, there was no need to worry about him noticing that. As soon as I felt the guiding was complete, I hastily withdrew my lips. I was slightly taken aback by the thread of saliva that connected us, but I pretended not to notice as I wiped my lips and asked Song Ji-hyeok, “How was it?”

“…It’s manageable if I close my eyes,” he replied.

Who asked for your opinion? And what do you mean by ‘manageable’? You were the one who came at me like you were going to devour me.

Of course, this was a good thing from my perspective. I needed to make Song Ji-hyeok choose me as his pair guide as soon as possible.

“That’s good, then.”

Soon after, Song Ji-hyeok got up from his seat. Leaving a perfunctory “I’m going,” he went out without looking back.

I was about to get up to go to the office, but suddenly felt dizzy and slumped back down.

‘…What’s this?’

I slowly opened my eyes, which I had closed reflexively. It’s unlikely that I suddenly developed low blood pressure, so maybe my blood sugar dropped?

Still sitting, I reached out and grabbed a chocolate bar. As I was unwrapping it to eat, the device on the table chimed.

[Where are you? Aren’t you coming for guiding?]

I had briefly exchanged messages with Kim Young-joo on the bus returning to the guild. After finishing the chocolate bar I had already opened, I stuffed two more into my mouth and sent a reply while chewing.

[Yeah, I don’t think I need to go]

[Why? You didn’t just go to watch, did you?]

I felt guilty about bragging that it wasn’t the case. There was no reason to lie, so I answered honestly.

[I almost did lol]

[You almost just watched?]

[Yeah.. The newbies went for practical experience, so I felt awkward stepping in]

If she were someone who enjoyed hurting others or had a twisted personality, she might have sneered, “Isn’t it because of your rank?” But Kim Young-joo was definitely not that kind of person. As expected, she interpreted my words in a completely different direction.

[So you didn’t use your skills at all, right?]

[Yeah..]

[OK, I’m in the guiding room now, so come right away]

No, really, it’s fine…

But there’s always someone a step ahead, and as if seeing right through my thoughts, another message came in.

[If you don’t come, I’ll tell the team leader?]

It might sound like a joke, but it might not be. As a friend, Kim Young-joo is easygoing and we have a comfortable relationship, but as a guide, she has a professional and strict side.

As I said before, you must receive guiding after returning from battle, and if it’s discovered that you didn’t, you get penalty points. If these accumulate, you can be excluded from high-level dungeon raids or face restrictions on participating at all. For someone like me who desperately needs every penny, this was absolutely unacceptable.

So what choice did I have? I had to follow the rules.

As I entered the adjacent guiding room, Kim Young-joo greeted me warmly, as if we hadn’t seen each other in months.

“Did you have a good trip?”

“Yeah, as you can see.”

I flopped down on the sofa and held out my hand. She grasped it without hesitation, but soon tilted her head in confusion.

“Didn’t you go to a B-rank dungeon?”

“That’s right.”

“Then why are you so… fine?”

“I told you. I really just tagged along.”

When you return from a dungeon above your level, it’s common to have an excessive buildup of energy. The demanding battles and the mental stress from the pressure of facing stronger opponents can be quite significant.

But this time, that wasn’t the case. After I explained the dungeon events in more detail, Kim Young-joo finally seemed to understand.

“You need to guide Song Ji-hyeok too, right?”

“I already did.”

“You did? When?”

“Just now. He asked for it as soon as we got off the bus, so I did it in the next room before coming here.”

I thought I’d have to beg to be allowed to do some guiding when he told me to prove my worth, but that was only for the first few times. These days, he actively seeks it out, which is convenient for me.

“He must be very satisfied with your guiding. Well, considering the matching rate, I guess it’s natural.”

Kim Young-joo, who had been asking and answering her own questions, addressed me again.

“How’s your relationship? Last time I saw, you seemed to be getting along quite well.”

“It’s much better than at first.”

Compared to when he used to radiate coldness, saying he didn’t need a C-rank guide, it was a complete turnaround. We’ve even eaten out together, and I took care of him when he was drunk, not abandoning him but making sure he got to sleep safely. This counts as getting quite close, right?

My thoughts must have shown on my face because Kim Young-joo asked with a subtle expression,

“So, do you think you can become his pair guide?”

“…I’m not sure about that.”

Contrary to my words, I did harbor some hope. I knew I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, but Song Ji-hyeok seemed to be genuinely satisfied with my guiding.

I’ll have to do my best for the 3rd and 4th trials too.

While I was making this internal resolution, Kim Young-joo finished the guiding. When she suggested we have dinner together, I agreed without hesitation and left the guiding room.

My destination was the office. As I climbed the stairs, I had no idea what was about to happen to me. I couldn’t have imagined the betrayal that wasn’t really a betrayal waiting for me.

***

For a while, my daily life was peaceful. We completed the 3rd raid successfully with the same members, and I diligently built internal rapport with Song Ji-hyeok by providing guiding to him every evening when he unfailingly showed up.

Although I couldn’t participate in team raids as an Esper due to my temporary pair guide position, I received much higher incentives, so there was nothing to worry about. Instead, I devoted more time to self-management during those hours. I stuck to my routine, poured sweat into physical training, and even engaged in sparring sessions, which I usually avoided to prevent unnecessary injuries, with a serious attitude a few times.

Of course, I didn’t forget my goal of gaining Song Ji-hyeok’s favor. In the training room in the morning, in the guiding room in the afternoon. Although I accounted for over 90 percent of our conversations, seeing each other twice a day without fail made us quite familiar with each other.

More time passed, and it was the day before the final 4th raid. Feeling extremely full after eating a hearty lunch, I half-reclined against the chair’s backrest and slowly spun the chair around. Despite my casual posture, my thoughts were quite serious.

‘I wonder if it’ll be a B-rank dungeon again.’

The 3rd raid was also in a B-rank dungeon. As always, my role was to scout the area, and we mainly used strategies involving digging traps to annihilate the monsters. The notable difference from the 2nd raid was the teamwork. The synergy effect from combining different skills allowed us to finish the battle almost half a day faster than the 2nd raid. And that point bothered me slightly.

The battle details would have been reported to the higher-ups as soon as we left the dungeon. Having easily completed two B-rank dungeon raids, it would make sense for them to be ambitious and raise the level for the last one. Or, given that there was also a C-rank Esper, they might unusually split us into two teams from the start.

If that were the case, it would be a bit burdensome for me. A dungeon two levels higher than my rank was never easy.

Even in A-rank dungeons, there are lower-level monsters, which become my opponents and provide a breathing space for me to advance. But occasionally, there are unlucky situations. When A-rank monsters swarm from all directions, my top priority becomes self-preservation. Even a slight collision or bump could potentially result in a serious injury.

Even so, it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s a principle to only deal with monsters you can handle unless it’s a real emergency, and somehow avoiding injury is a way of helping other team members. But the thought of showing that side of me in front of Song Ji-hyeok made me uneasy.

‘I still want to show only my cool side…’

“Have you had lunch?”

As if telling me not to put on unnecessary airs, someone placed their hand on my shoulder. Seeing Gitae’s face, I quickly straightened my posture.