Believe In The Weird and Wild (Star vs. the Forces of Evil x Steven U)

Skullnick sighed as they arrived in an alternate dimension. First she was turned into a troll, then the school explodes everyday, now this mess. "You're so lucky that your parents paid the school so much money that it actually makes being a teacher worth all the trouble you put all of us through, as well as a good life choice in general."

"That's completely fair." The girl acknowledged. "But look at this place, much better than some lame old wax museum, this museum has everything!" The 'museum' in question was a wide open space full of the most uncanny sights the teacher had ever seen. "The dimension of the universe's greatest oddities!" A stingray flew past them as if to emphasize her point.

"I call dibs on that one!" Jackie Lin Thomas ran after, hopping on top of it and starting riding it like it was one of her skateboards.

"Hey Star?" Marco Diaz asked. "What's the catch?"

"The catch?" She asked in confusion.

"Every time we go to a new dimension or place there's always a rule to follow, a place to not enter, a thing to not eat, or it's just straight up dangerous."

"That's the thing here! There are no rules. Anything's possible, everything's allowed, and nothing is illegal!" The princess smirked as another student hopped onto a pile of pancakes that exploded when she landed.

"Wait, nothing's illegal?" Jana asked before smirking as well. "Finally, a chance to test that virgin sacrifice ritual." Skullnick knew when to leave.

She began walking around, taking a minor glance at everything before noticing a troll museum … well, may as well learn about herself. "Lets see…oooh, I get to live to four hundred?" That meant she was practically a teenager again! Who knew the cursed body would actually be worth something.

"Why is the universe's most dangerous creature a pile of yarn?" Jana asked, along with something that sounded like a smashed window. Just ignore it, they would learn the consequences of anarchy eventually, just like she did.

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Jana stood next to the Crystal Gems and Quartz. "Alright, now to open your room, you just need to think about your own space, opening a door to a universe that fits you and nobody else." Ruby tried to explain.

"Each room was made to reflect each personality of the gem it was made for." Pearl said from the side, even if Quartz looked like he was feeling a bit crowded. "When you enter your room, you should feel at absolute peace with the world around you, a world where nothing can go wrong."

"Oh, you make it a place where you can keep all the coolest stuff you can find." Amethyst threw in her own suggestion. "I got stuff from practically every year I've been alive on earth."

"About a good fourth of it is random piles of rocks and empty soup cans." Pearl rolled her eyes.

"Better than just a bunch of water constantly getting every at once." Looks like this was one of those fights Amethyst kept telling Jana about. "You complain about me being messy, but you can't even keep track of half your stuff because it falls on my piles."

"Would you all stop it!" Quartz exploded. "I can't even get a moment's peace with you all talking over me!" The door became pink, a star shaped hole growing into form.

"Steven, you did it.." Ruby called out, and that seemed to be the wrong thing to say, because Quartz immediately ran into the room. "Wait, we haven't told you what…!"

"I just want some time to think in peace!" The door began to shut.

"Not without me, wait up!" Jana snuck past all of them and leapt through just before it closed. "Aha, perfect. Sneaking through vents really does pay off." She looked at the annoyed kid in question. "You feelin alright?"

"Yeah yeah." The boy complained. "I just want some quiet." She would say something to reassure him, but it came out muffled for some reason. He turned to her, eyes widening. "Um … you have a gag?"

"Mmmmh!" She patted it, not sure exactly how it got on there. Throwing it off, she chucked it as far as she could into what looked like an endless pink sky, and it became one with the cloudy environment. "How the heck did that get the-" Another gag popped back up. "Mmmmh!"

"Get off her!" The moment Quartz shouted it, the gag poofed ff.into the air. "What…it listened to me?" He patted the ground. "Hm..let me try something…I want a cookie cat!" Sure enough, the long dead and gone ice cream treat appeared in his hands. "Alright, best gem thing I've seen so far!" He bit into it…and got clouds in return. "Aw man."

"Maybe you can't eat-" She was cut off once more, this time by steel chains. "... Mmmmhh!" She remembered, trying to make it clear he 'wanted quiet' and the room was listening to him.

"Sorry, sorry! I want her here, I want her to be able to move and talk with me!" The chain vanished, as she stretched her limbs.

"Alright, it only listens to you, and it follows monkey paw and genie wish logic … be very specific with your words." She said to him, "Like if you suddenly wished to see the temple again, it might actually create an entire illusion instead of showing the way out."

"Got it, be as specific as possible." Quartz thought long and hard. "I want a tiny pink floating whale that gives high fives!" The whale poofed into existence, a tiny pink floating whale with a human hand for high fives. "Didn't count on the human parts, but it works!" Quartz smiled and raised a hand.

"Ooh, could you make that entire evil arm of Marco's with the mole on the other side of his face? I've always wanted to have one of those." She suggested after receiving a high five herself.

"I don't know what the 'evil arm' is, but I don't trust it." The boy argued. "Umm … one Evil Armed Marco please?" The room created Marco, cackling madly as he raised his arm.

"I AM OCRAM! FEAR ME!" The arm of the Marco illusion shouted with a mouth on its hand, looking like it was dragging the rest of the boy against his will.

She gazed at the sight. "You definitely got his look of terror down."

"I've seen scarier and seen Marco in terror plenty of times before. I think Star's trying to come up with a bingo game for it." Quartz shrugged. "Okay, now I want….two giant flowers that are in the shape of the universe's most comfortable chairs!"

Two flowers shaped like chairs were poofed into existence, which proved stable enough to sit on. "These are pretty comfy." She leaned back, not sure if the softness was from the imagination or the clouds.

"Ah..now this is how I wished all my magic worked all the time." Quartz leaned back. "No pressure from everyone, no expectations to live up to, just a nice, simple moment to enjoy myself."

"I get yah. I'd rather be doing it in a dark hole surrounded by eldritch horrors, but this is nice too." She smirked, leaning into his ear. "Now, how about you.." She whispered.

The prince blinked a couple of times before turning to Jana with a raised eyebrow. "Why did you ever think about a baby Marco with wheels for hands and feet?"

"Fever dream after a rotten pickle, never left my mind."

"Wait a second." Quartz smirked. "I know what's going on here." What was going on? "You have a crush on Marco!"

"I….I like teasing him, not going to lie." Jana never got called out for the WHY behind what she did, and Quartz suddenly doing it caught her off guard. 

"Finally!" The boy shouted. "Star and Ponyhead keep trying to set me up with Kelly, who already has a boyfriend, and the only other romances to tease are the weird love square that Marco and Star have with each other, Jackie, and Oskar."

"Not even sure how that's even going to be a thing with those two, they barely talk to their crushes as it is." Jana continued. She could totally see the safe kid and princess being together, but they seemed a little hopeless when it came to the dating scene.

"Talked under a blood moon, now she calls him cute when she thinks nobody's listening."

"Oh, moonlight curses, doesn't that sound romantic." She smirked.

"Not really. Room, make a moon." The entire place screamed and glitched frantically. "I didn't mean a whole moon, just the image! Run run run!!"

"Now there's the madness I was waiting for." Jana laughed as Quartz dragged her hand trying to find a door. This little moment of chaos she had with the boy was the best. She looked forward to whatever madness he had in store for her next."

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"So, how've you been?" Dennis asked his brother. "I mean, other than losing a castle, but it could have been much worse, so that's a win right?" 

"It was the absolute worst case scenario, Dennis, and after all that I've done for them!" His older yet diminutive brother yelled in frustration, kicking a nearby tree. "I took most of them off the streets, even taught one of them how to read, and this is how they repay me!?" Ludo kicked a rock, and stubbed his toe. "Augh! Why does the universe hate me so much!?"

"I get like that too. Mom and Dad still act like they're the king and queen, and just act so entitled all the time." Dennis complained. "They keep coming over all the time and telling me I should be honored and stuff to take over the throne."

"... THEY HAVEN'T VISITED ME ONCE!" Ludo screamed in rage. "I actually had the spine to step up and take back what's rightfully ours, and they still don't even give me so much as a mirror call! I can't rely on anything! My minions are backstabbers, my family is stupid, and those blasted Butterfly's just mocking me!"

"I mean, if you had asked, I could've tried to help." Dennis said. "Two brothers against those magic kids you're always trying to steal from, that could've been something."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but those brats are brutal. The last thing you need is to be laughed at when a bubble blows up in your face."

Aww, he did care. "Well … if they're strong as a family why not just … make them not one?" He offered his advice.

"Go on.." 

"Our family is a mess because most of us hate each other and they do their own things. So find something they don't agree on and split them up from there."

"Sounds like a great idea….except those two always team up with each other in the end. Like an ally that you can trust to catch you from behind." Ludo groaned. "I thought that was going to be easy when it came to that. Take a stick from two children … nope, minions couldn't do it, and I kicked out my most loyal one." Their eyes widened. "That's it, I just need Buff Frog, he'll help me!"

"That's the spirit bro." He smiled. "Now go out there and do what you love!"

"Thank you! It's nice to actually be around someone I can stand for once." His brother ran into the woods. "Now I'm off to conquer the universe!" He was glad his older bro had their spirit back, they were a good guy deep down.

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Angie placed down the multiple plates, dusting off her hands before whistling. A few seconds later she heard the familiar stampeding and laser noises she had gotten so used to hearing by now. Their house was such a lively place with Star around, now having so many critters to look after.

The laser puppies lapped around several dishes of dog food, cutely fighting over which one would be theirs. The leader of the pack, the one they had affectionately called Barco Diaz, yelped a single bark, making them back away. She wondered why Marco had such a hard time controlling them, they were all so obedient. "Now remember Braco, you're the leader, and that means looking out for your siblings, make sure to share." The pup nodded, only interfering when one was eating too much.

Lion … she had concerns about Lion. He rarely ate, most of the time it was just small things like one fish. "Are you sure you don't want more? You're a big creature, surely you need to eat a lot." He didn't expand much energy, lasing around, but it was still concerning.

"Mrrrrr…" The large feline lightly purred, taking a light nibble out of the fish in his possession.

"Alright, if you're that sure." She patted the cotton candy colored pet. She was glad he didn't trigger Marco's cat allergy, Lion was an oddly calming presence despite his large size. "Now Quartz Jr, no eating the curtains, we've talked about this."

"Baaaaaah." The goat mumbled, before going back to the alfalfa they had placed down for him. They were the one pet around the house that she would have personally lived without, if only not to sea bite marks in her shoes every so often.

"Neeeeeeiiiiiiiiiggggggh!" The unicorn that roamed the backyard that Star called crayon, gently licked the goats head. Angie was finally able to live out her childhood fantasies, and get horseback lessons to boot!

Now for the last animals around the house. "Kids, I made your lunch bags for school today!" She shouted up the stairs.

"Coming, Marco used up all the hot water!!"

"I require a specific number of scrubs or else I smell sweaty!"

"Just one second, I think I finally can get this bubble to not explode!"

"Let's check!"

One explosion later, Star, Marco, Quartz, and Kelly fell through the ceiling, landing perfectly in the dining room seats. "Covered in soot … I need another shower."

"Oh come on!"

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Greg pov-Sapphire calling, trying to explain the situation with Steven

"Thank you everyone, good night New York City!" Mr Universe walked out on the crying audience. Maybe he put too much existential dread into the last song, but this schtick gave him quite a bit of money, so there was very little he could complain about on that front.

"Greg baby, you're killing it!" He looked at Marty walking up to him. "Another full house." The manager patted him on the back. "I tell you, this country tour was an amazing idea."

"Yeah, amazing." He groaned. He had no idea what drove him to get back with this jerk after everything that happened before, but the guy handed him a check for ten million, and he had literally nothing left to lose anymore, so maybe he was just meant to suffer whenever some kind of good fortune made its way to them. "Wish the audience left happier rather than sadder."

"Hey, the crowd loves the sad stuff, otherwise they wouldn't be coming back every night." Marty smirked. "Tell you what pall, we've got so much dough, tomorrow, your day off." The man offered. "Find a friend, date a hooker, whatever ya want." Find something sentimental to leave, yaaaaay.

"Fine, might as well do something while I'm here." He shrugged. Everything eventually left anyway. Everyone died, there was nothing to look forward to after death, and life was just painful chemical existence that constantly stabbed him right in the heart.

He opened his phone to check for any new messages, only for a phone call to occur … at that very moment. Surprise on his face at the timing, he decided to answer. "Hello?"

"Greg." It was Garnet … he hasn't heard from her since Rose vanished.

"What do you want?" He spoke bitterly. Long time or not, he didn't want anything to remind him of what he's lost in any shape or form.

"We found Steven." He froze, the cries of the crowd and Marty's laughter nothing but ringing in his ears.

"… Please don't be a joke." He pleaded quietly.

"Unive-"

"I've lost way too much … Please don't let this be a joke … or a hallucination… or a dream I never want to wake from … please tell me it's real." He couldn't take it much longer, he needed to move on somehow, and if this was another false reality he wanted to die within it.

"... He was found by another family, he identifies as Quartz Butterfly now … but it's no joke. You and me both know I wouldn't be calling you otherwise." That was true…Garnet was the most serious person he knew, alien or not. "He has Rose's gem, her bubbles, and he looks like a younger you."

"He's in Beech Creek, right?" He asked, already grabbing a set of keys and opening the one item he never left behind, his van.

"His adoptive sister lives in town to go to school, he visits practically everyday now. "The Gem woman sounded like she was tearing up. "He has a great love for life Greg, just like she did."

"I'll be there as soon as possible." He cut off the phone, started up the engine, and drove forward. Screw contracts, screw lawsuits, his son was alive … his son was alive!