NOVEL NEXT Chapter 136 – Of My Actions
Technically, it was easy to explain everything I wanted to say. Not that it wasn’t stressful or scary, just that I had a slideshow presentation prepared for this very moment. And by slideshow presentation, I just mean a package of memories and accompanying explanations neatly prepared to be sent to any bee I wished with the press of a mental button.
I didn’t want to drop the bomb all at once, so instead of just flooding their Minds with information, my bees received a little recording of sorts, just so I wouldn’t have to endure the enormous weight of explaining things in person. Well, for me, it was more like awkwardly sitting around while the bees sat silently listening and watching.
“Hi there. My name is - was - Enno Cordano. I was a human from a place called Earth. And this is my partner in crime, Queen. Your other mother.”
In a mental space of darkness, a tiny figure appeared, a recreation of myself, at least how I remembered my appearance. There was nothing in the void to compare me to, but I would classify myself as something of an ordinary guy, though perhaps my facial features could be considered sinister. Maybe it was my expression, looking somewhere between bored and perpetually annoyed. I wasn’t very tall, was coming into a gut from reduced physical activity, and had bags under my eyes. I didn’t look repulsive, but maybe I wasn’t the most approachable fellow. Which was, of course, countered by the fact that my co-workers constantly tried to approach me. But that was in the past. The reminders just flooded back when I saw my old self again.
“Hello children! We are your mother. This will probably be the first time you see me, and I’m so glad to meet you. I wish I could have truly met you, but this bozo’s idea of a recording was the only simple way to show myself. And also I am rarely in charge of decisions around here, as we’ll explain.”
Compared to me, Queen was a radiant visage. I constructed her image to be the same one I saw the few times I had actually ‘seen’ her Mind, like when we were trapped by the Vulch or when I caught a glimpse of her pulling me out of the endless maze of doors I had trapped myself in when touching my own Mind a little too deeply.
She was truly something that could be called majestic. A massive queen bee of golden light, interspersed with blacks almost deeper than the void surrounding us. Her body glowed with power and warmth, as if she could push away the darkness and heal you just by being near. Floating above her head was a glowing crown, inlaid with jewels of a material; that doesn’t exist. It spun slowly, lazily, as if to say ‘yeah, I’m the boss. Deal with it. Beeal.’
My little avatar manifested a pen - an old ballpoint of mine, whose details I remembered better than my own face - and began to spin it around as I spoke.
“This is supposed to be the final version. Anyway, if you’re hearing this, I’m dead. Or I revealed my ‘secret.’ Probably the latter. But this is just meant to be a brief explanation of what’s going on so I don’t overwhelm you with a flood of info all at once. You’d probably be able to process it fine, don’t get me wrong, but, well…”
“You are part human. And because of that, you might not handle it so efficiently. That is what I want to explain.”
“Yup. Now, what is a human? Well, we are a species of creature that-“
“They are like a thing called a ‘monkey’, but with slightly more brains.”
“Queen, that’s not in the script-“
“I am in this state because of humans, and thus, we have an instinctual hatred for them. They killed my mother, destroyed my hive, and nearly took my life. But I was saved by the Bee itself, and a… well, it could be called a gift, or a curse, but it brought me back to life.”
My little head shook. “Yeah. Basically, I was a human from another world, one without Mind or gods or kingdoms as you know them, and then I died. In a somewhat silly and ironic way. But then some stuff happened, and my soul, or Mind I suppose, was put into Queen’s body. Bam. Now we’re one being.”
A slew of images blended together, faster than I would normally be able to process. Our surroundings changed from a void to a quiet, empty street, to a sea of electricity, to another, more sinister void, then to a familiar tree stump.
“I, the once-human, am in control of Queen’s old body. She’s little more than a presence in my Mind, guiding me and informing my actions.”
“’Little more than?’ Yeah, right. You might say, children, I am the reason you kids have a decent mother.”
“Sure, sure. But yeah, I guess you can probably understand a few things just from that. You were all born with some humanity. Wait, shit. I was supposed to explain that there’s both good and bad in humanity. Can we restart?”
“Humanity is mostly terrible. They are inefficient creatures with a great degree of selfishness and individuality, wholly incompatible with bees. Or, at least, that is what I believed. Over time, I have come to see that humans are not a monolith. This was a difficult concept to understand as a bee, and is something you all will need to become accustomed to. But I believe you will have an easier time than I. There is something special about humans. Maddeningly so, but it is true. Otherwise, they probably would not dominate Enno’s old world even more completely than our own. You have all felt it. The pride you feel in your work, the compassion for your fellow bee, the lengths you would go for both yourself and your siblings. I would not call these things exclusively human, nor would I say they cannot be felt by bees. But without the spark of humanity, things would be very different.”
More landscapes flashed by, even blending in with our speech. A growing hive, new bees being born, a blanket of black feathers, then shadowy creatures, a huge propellor, an explosion.
“Well, that’s fine, I guess. But yeah, humans aren’t all bad. Some of you might even be starting to feel that way. That’s sort of the issue. By this point, each one of you has found at least one human you can relate to, or understand, or otherwise even empathize with.”
Different humans appeared, some familiar, some stranger. Most of their faces blurred together, but some standout could still be seen. Some of the worst humans we’d encountered, some of the better ones, some ones we mostly ignored.
“This is a key point of humanity: being different. The humans that ravaged the forest aren’t necessarily the same ones that we encounter on a day-to-day basis. Heck, I’m not even from this world. Bees, regular bees, might not understand this, because for us, there is only the hive. A hive-mind, if you will. Many of you might be confused, or even frustrated. With humans, each other, and yourselves. Shouldn’t you hate humans? Shouldn’t all bees be against humans? Why am I so individualistic sometimes? Why do I come into conflict with other bees? I know you’ve asked yourselves these questions, and many more. I know you’ve seen certain failings or felt certain emotions or made a mistake and thought, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ Nothing’s wrong with you. I just want to make that clear.”
“Allow me to take over. My children, we do not say these things to improve our relationship with the humans. That is something that will come with time, or not at all. The fact of the matter is, always antagonizing the humans, Linking them unconditionally and taking their freedoms, is to remove something that can make them feel whole. If we must do it, then it must be done. But there are other ways. And that is not the point. The point is you all. Although you are bees, you can never feel whole, because there is that human element within you. You can never be truly free, but you will never want to leave the hive.”
“Yep. Humanity can have the highest of highs but also the lowest of lows. Your Mother and the others in the hive will always work hard to fill that hole in your heart.”
The projection of me awkwardly made a heart sign with my hands, and I looked away. Would the bees hate me more cause I was part human or for that embarrassing little display? Well, I meant it, so they would just have to deal with it.
“What does this mean for you? Well, in practice, nothing would really change. You will still work to please me and to bring success to the hive. You will continue being efficient and effective, continue supporting each other, have rivalries with each other, eat with each other. You are NOT human. You are, without question, bees. But you are now equipped with a new understanding of yourselves. This is something Enno taught me: you can make of that information what you will. It means that you can take what we have told you and shape yourself with it as you see fit. This is unique about you all. I will not control what you become.”
“I straight up can’t control what you will become. Maybe because I don’t want to. Or maybe because you’re you. And maybe I’m just making this video for myself.”
“Oh, I certainly am. But that is part of the lesson. Enno and I are one and the same now, human and bee. You are not alone, even in that fact. You will always have your Mother.”
The world turned back into a void, only leaving Queen and me together. At some point, I had sat down on the ‘ground’, cross-legged, while Queen hovered above me.
“Well, that’s all we had to say. If you have any questions, just ask me. Or don’t, if I’m dead. In that case, good luck, I guess. Love ya. Alright, how was that? We should’ve thought of something more satisfying to say at the end, cause-”
And with that, the recording we made simply disappeared. I looked around at the faces of my bees, nervous to know what was on their Minds. Did they hate me now that I was once human? Were they scared of me? Or did they hate me for hiding things? There were a million ways this could go, and I could think of a million more ways it goes horribly. The thought of the sudden revelation only made my headache worse. Why did I think it was a good idea to reveal all this shit now, of all times? Wasn’t there a more apt moment? Sure, I’d been stalling, withholding this information for ages, but was now the best time to tell them? We were in the middle of an important discussion, talking about some crucial stuff.
But none of the bees reacted outwardly. Even some of the more outspoken bees. They just… sat there. Thinking.
…
I hate this! Say something already. I’ll fight you all if I have to. I’ve never been in a direct fight, but I bet I could hang in there with the best.
“Calm down. You knew this would happen eventually, and I think now was a good time. Perhaps not the best, but the best time would have been yesterday. Or the day before. Now that Lemonholm has happened, the children would only become more restless, more unsure of themselves. It had to be done.”
That was all true. And, to be honest, my heart had already been steeled, ready for however they would react. Even if they hated me, even if they did nothing more than say ‘oh momma, it's all good, you’re awesome in every way,’ I had been ready for some time now. It was just something we all had to deal with. Any lingering uncertainty was just the last of my nerves leaving my system. And maybe some of the embarrassment I felt with the whole thing. All things considered, it was just something that had to be done.
A deep voice finally shattered the quiet. “All this time, I believed myself to be a failure. As a being, as a bee, and as a son. Perhaps I could still consider myself as such. But to know that such failings were not unnatural, that there is a reason behind my imperfection…. I must say, it is something of a relief.”
Bedivere was the first to speak. Slowly, thoughtfully. Good ‘ol Bedivere, I could always count on you! Oh wait. Was he talking about all that stuff that happened before, with his corruption Ability and the Valkybees? Yeah, some of the bees probably really needed to know where their issues stemmed from…
But the dam was broken. The silence in the dining hall was completely replaced by the furious sounds of buzzing bees. Bess was trying to take deep breaths to calm herself, but instead bashed her multiple legs on the comb below her instead, spider webbing crack spreading from where she hit. She was not taking it so well, I think.
The warriors present, Beryl, Behemoth, Belial, and Belphegora, suddenly disappeared, their departure into the surrounding skeletal trees ripping up dirt and wet ash. Beck howled, a sound both horrific and oddly relieved, as if a massive weight had been lifted from their Mind. Belle was quiet, save for a noticeable shiver and a tapping of her head with her antennae.
All told, it was much better than I expected! I was really ready to fight off a horde of angry bees with my Mind.
“Mother.”
Ice froze my insectoid veins. Right. Beatrice had already known about Queen, at least to some degree. So did Beck and Bedivere, thanks to that time when I trapped myself in my own Mind. But they hadn’t known about the human thing. And Beatrice was notoriously not fond of humans in the slightest. I turned slowly, coming face-to-face with her stern gaze.
“Uh, hey. So-“
“The production quality could use some work. And maybe get Beck to help you construct a more eloquent diatribe next time. But it’s disturbed the meeting to an unacceptable degree. Please call the warriors back and calm everyone else. We still have important matters to discuss.”
She was a tough one. A very scary bee. And I didn’t know what the hell she was thinking. The nervousness, the uncertainty, all of that stuff that was descending on her just minutes before was seemingly gone. But she was pushing a thought into my Mind, something which scared me way, way, way more than I cared to admit.
We’ll talk later.
