Ball-Boy Tactics

“Hmm… Are you curious?”

Instead of answering right away, Kwon Jungwoo responded with a question. When I lightly nodded, he stared straight into my eyes, as if trying to read my reaction to what he was about to say.

“My ex-girlfriend came up with it.”

His nonchalant voice elicited an uncalculated reaction from me. I let out an awkwardly long “Ah…”

—not sure if it was a sigh or an expression of amazement.

“How many strokes does your name have? Count them.”

“Me? Hmm…”

Even though I was caught up in an indescribable emotion, I mindlessly began counting the strokes. With my free hand, I traced my name in the air. I could vaguely feel Kwon Jungwoo’s gaze, though it was focused on my face rather than my hand.

“Eighteen… It’s eighteen strokes.”

Was that number a reflection of my feelings? It matched exactly how I felt in that moment. I regretted saying that the number suited him, worried that he might think we shared the same fate of being “eighteen.” Glancing at Kwon Jungwoo’s face, I saw a faint smile as if he was about to tease me. But instead, he simply said:

“That’s the number right next to mine.”

And that was it. He laughed as if it was merely because our numbers were consecutive.

For some reason, the fact that he called it the “number next to mine” soothed me, and I forced myself to smile. Kwon Jungwoo, noticing my strange expression, shifted slightly as if to change the mood.

“So, are you done talking about yourself? You promised to put me to sleep, but I’m wide awake now. You’ll have to start over.”

“The fact that you still use that number means you didn’t have a bad breakup, right?”

Kwon Jungwoo stopped in his tracks. I regretted my words the moment they left my mouth, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Do you still keep in touch with your exes?”

I must have lost my mind. But wasn’t this the kind of thing even friends could ask each other? Without realizing it, I gripped his hand tightly, hoping Kwon Jungwoo wouldn’t take it too seriously.

But…

“You’re waking me up completely.”

Kwon Jungwoo’s forehead wrinkled with irritation as he spoke indifferently. Suddenly, he threw off the blanket and leaned back against the headboard. The hand I thought would never leave mine fell away easily, and I sensed the change in the atmosphere.

“Oh… I didn’t ask because I was

curious. It just popped into my head, so I asked. You can lie down while we talk….”

“Who makes excuses while lying down?”

Kwon Jungwoo, who called my words an excuse, looked me straight in the eye with a calm expression. For some reason, the distance between us felt closer than when he had been lying down, so I slid my chair back slightly. On a different day, he might have playfully pulled the chair back toward him, but this time, he just looked at me.

“I don’t keep in touch. What kind of great relationship would it have been for us to still stay in contact? And to be honest, I don’t know how you feel about this, but to tell the truth—”

Kwon Jungwoo paused, lightly wetting his lips with his tongue, making their color stand out even more.

“To be honest, I don’t even remember who gave me that number. It’s been a long time, and back then, I was so obsessed with basketball that I didn’t pay much attention to my girlfriend. Saying this makes it sound like I had a lot of girlfriends, but I’m only confused between two people.”

“……”

“And what I want to make clear to you is that, no matter who came up with ‘number 17,’ its meaning belongs to me alone. Those people from the past aren’t significant enough for me to care about their traces.”

He shrugged and briefly pouted his lower lip. That was just so Kwon Jungwoo.

“Wasting time on that would be pointless, don’t you think?”

“……”

“Staying in touch with past lovers is one of the most pathetic things you can do.”

There wasn’t a hint of insincerity in his voice as he said this while looking directly at me. I had recently sensed that Kwon Jungwoo would be very clear-cut when it came to breakups, and now I was sure—he was the type to sever ties completely.

I felt relieved that we were the kind of friends who wouldn’t be cut off like that.

That was my first thought after hearing him, but then a contradictory realization spread through my mind like mold.

On the one hand, I felt reassured that he didn’t stay in touch with his ex-girlfriends, but on the other hand, I felt despair because, as a man, this had nothing to do with me. The thought of passively watching Kwon Jungwoo’s future romantic relationships unfold crushed me, but at the same time, I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about a breakup with him.

It was like being a hamster stuck on an endless wheel.

The worst-case scenario would be becoming one of Kwon Jungwoo’s past relationships, someone he’d never even say hello to again. But thankfully, that would never happen to me.

With that, my resolve solidified. In front of Kwon Jungwoo, I would hide these feelings under the guise of “friendship,” and I would do everything I could to make them disappear as quickly as possible. If I could manage that, things would be perfect.

The problem was that my feelings were growing deeper by the day, but if there was one thing I was confident about, it was giving up—I’d never been afraid of emotional exhaustion.

“Sorry. For someone like you, a basketball player, that number must be a source of pride, but I brought it up so casually…”

“It’s fine. You were just curious about me, huh?”

It’s okay.

Kwon Jungwoo smiled as he said that, unaware of how far my train of thought, starting from his jersey number, had taken me.

He still looked tired, but his gaze was sharp. I felt like he might see right through me, so I couldn’t meet his eyes, and my gaze wandered around him instead.

“……”

“……”

“I should get going. I’m sorry for keeping you up, especially when you’re not feeling well.”

Unable to endure the brief silence, I got up from my seat.

“You’re just going to leave after waking me up completely like this?”

There was a hint of disappointment in his playful tone. It made me both happy and at a loss for words, so I just laughed awkwardly. Kwon Jungwoo stood up as well, and his towering height reminded me once again that he was a basketball player.

“Don’t come out! I’ll go by myself. Just stay in bed.”

“I won’t go far, just to the front door.”

“Sorry for bothering you when you’re sick. Because of me….”

“Or you could just stay and sleep here.”

As he ruffled his messy hair, Kwon Jungwoo suddenly suggested this. The defined line of his broad shoulders beneath the thin t-shirt caught my eye. I’d seen that frame many times when he was wearing his uniform, but now, with it hidden under a plain white shirt, I felt a sudden urge to touch it. Why was that…?

“Do you not want to sleep with me anymore these days?”

In the spacious house with just the two of us, Kwon Jungwoo’s soft murmurs were entirely to blame.

I stood there dumbfounded, like someone stuck to the ground, before awkwardly taking a step back. His innocent offer, given his illness, sounded like a sweet temptation, making me feel like absolute trash.

“Not today, but I’ll come sleep over some other time. It’d be fun to hang out with the guys, play some games, eat good food. The living room is big too, so I could just roll around and sleep there.”

“The living room?”

Kwon Jungwoo frowned, wearing the most indifferent expression I’d seen from him that day. His voice had the same tone as he followed me, muttering.

“I can only sleep in the bed.”

“Oh, I meant I’d sleep in the living room!”

“Anyway, we’ll talk about it when the time comes. …But what is this?”

Moments later, Kwon Jungwoo burst out laughing when he saw me putting on a bucket hat and mask. He asked if no one had stared at me on the way over, and when I nodded, he laughed even harder. He patted me on the shoulder, saying I did a good job, which made me feel oddly proud, and I smiled under my mask.

“Alright, I’m going. Make sure you eat some porridge later, and get well soon.”

“I’ll call you when I feel better.”

Goodbye, 18.

As our gazes met through the closing door, my heart fluttered. Could we really stay as just pure friends? The confidence I’d had about being good at giving up was completely shattered by the way my heart thudded uncontrollably.

As I headed home, I clenched and unclenched the hand that Kwon Jungwoo had held. I wanted to take in his lingering scent on my skin, but I managed to suppress the urge and calm myself down.

The next day, when the warm sunlight brightened up my studio apartment…

Suddenly, Kwon Jungwoo’s dating rumor broke out.

And to my surprise, the person involved was…

Leaving Byun Seungjin and Yang Eunoh laughing like crazy, I clicked on the article link several times. The huge title was more absurd every time I read it.

At the top of the article, there were three or four photos attached. In the pictures, I was seen wearing a bucket hat and mask, clutching a medicine bag to my chest and carrying a bag with a porridge brand logo on it.

Even though I was wearing long pants and a t-shirt, the thin fabric must have shown my frame, and yet they still mistook me for a woman. It was ridiculous. Maybe it was because the clothes were dark-colored. I’m not exactly built like a tank, but at 176 cm, I didn’t think I had the kind of physique you’d mistake for a woman.

Looking at it objectively, though, my outfit did seem suspicious. It would’ve been fine if it were autumn or early winter, but it was May, with spring flowers in full bloom, so it stood out even more. Still, mistaking me for a woman and spreading a dating rumor about me and Kwon Jungwoo felt like too much.

Scrolling down, the article’s comments were buzzing with speculation. People listed names of female celebrities, guessing who it could be. There were a few comments wondering if I might be a guy, but no one paid attention to those.

Kwon Jungwoo wasn’t the type to hide his relationships. If you searched “Kwon Jungwoo girlfriend” on a portal site, his ex-girlfriend’s SNS would pop up, so news of him dating wasn’t exactly groundbreaking.

However, the title, “Girlfriend Secretly Visiting to Take Care of Him While He’s Sick,” must have been sensational enough to grab attention. There were especially a lot of comments about me entering his place by punching in the door code without waiting for him to open it. I didn’t even realize I was being photographed then…

I was fine since I was covered up and my identity wasn’t revealed, but I was worried about Kwon Jungwoo. He was already sick—what if this ridiculous dating rumor gave him a headache too? I felt uneasy.

The photo Yang Eunoh sent showed the printed dating article stuck under a basketball hoop. Seeing my suspicious outfit so prominently displayed made my face flush with embarrassment.

I quickly tossed my phone aside and opened my laptop. He’s really going to confirm the rumor? Yang Eunoh and Byun Seungjin couldn’t even tell if they were joking or being serious, which made me panic. What was Kwon Jungwoo thinking?

It didn’t take long to recover my SNS password and write an explanation.

Just before posting, I read it over one last time. The clumsy writing made it obvious that I’d written it myself, with no one to proofread it.

As soon as I hit ‘Post,’ the number of ‘likes’ and comments skyrocketed. The comments were split between surprise and delight. Among them were comments in foreign languages. Why do foreigners like me so much…?

Clearing up the dating rumor felt somewhat relieving, but not entirely. After looking at the flood of question marks, colorful hearts, and comments shouting my name without meaning, I checked the messages that had piled up.

Looking back at the comments after Byun Seungjin’s message, I saw a few standout names.

Yang Eunoh: Everyone, I’m Han Jiwon’s elementary school classmate. – Selling the graduation album for 20 million won-

While laughing at the comments, the sense of unease I’d been feeling while writing the clarification suddenly made itself known. It wasn’t a strong emotion.

The sense of powerlessness had been a lingering feeling since I realized I had feelings for Kwon Jungwoo. The dating rumor, which had once been hotly debated, fell apart just because the other party was a man, deepening my sense of helplessness.

I knew it. That a man like me liking Kwon Jungwoo would be something unimaginable, or if it were imagined, it would be dismissed as a joke.

Even if the Earth were split in two—or three—and Kwon Jungwoo were to develop feelings for me, I knew our relationship would never be truly happy.

Some time later, I checked the comments again and saw one more familiar name added.

Kwon Jungwoo: Out of respect for the other party’s wishes, we have decided to deny the dating rumor, so please pretend not to know.

Even in the midst of my weariness, a smile broke out at Kwon Jungwoo’s comment, which was inevitable for someone like me, who had become an expert in unrequited love.

***

Kwon Jungwoo called me the night of the dating rumor, that is, last night.

My SNS post had managed to turn the dating rumor into a minor incident, but it hadn’t quieted things down. Articles with my post were flooding in, appearing on portal sites’ main pages, and even on prime-time sports news.

When my photo with a bucket hat appeared with the headline ‘National Grandchild Han Jiwon’s Recent News,’ I let out a silent scream. If I had known my outfit would become nationwide news, I’d have chosen something stylish instead of rushing to cover up. Regretting the hastily chosen outfit, my phone rang.

I thought he’d talk about the dating rumor, but his main point was unexpected.

“Class? Uh… I have a 9 AM class, so I’ll leave early. I should head out a bit past 8. Why?”

“Do you have morning classes too?”

“Ah, no, it’s fine. There’s a direct bus to school from here.”

“Still, it’ll be a hassle for you. I’m really grateful just for your offer. I mean it!”

Despite several refusals, Kwon Jungwoo persisted and finally got me to agree before ending the call. His voice, saying good night softly, was so kindly that I forgot to ask how he was feeling, and I spent the night plagued by hallucinations.

So it was that morning. I came out 5 minutes earlier than the scheduled time and spotted a familiar SUV waiting.

Can the sense of smell be deceived? Just seeing Kwon Jungwoo’s car made me smell the perfume he always uses. My already anxious heart went into a frenzy at the fake scent, making my heartbeat louder than the chirping birds nearby.

“Hi.”

Kwon Jungwoo, who was smiling at me, looked charming. Perhaps because he wasn’t wearing his usual sporty style but instead a T-shirt and a thin cardigan, he appeared particularly neat today.

“Hi.”

Even though it was the same greeting, mine felt hollow. Strangely, even a simple greeting felt clumsy in front of Kwon Jungwoo.

As expected, the car was filled with Kwon Jungwoo’s subtle scent. However, what I didn’t expect was that his familiar perfume smelled subtly different from usual. The freshness of the scent, which hadn’t faded since it was just applied, was as exhilarating as the early morning air.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Like you see. The medicine didn’t work at all, but the porridge you gave me made me better immediately.”

“Ahaha… I’m glad.”

“Maybe it’s because you held my hand so passionately.”

“…….”

“I thought my hand would be bruised that day.”

I could feel my face turning red. Seeing Kwon Jungwoo sneak a glance at me while gently pressing the accelerator and then smile, it was clear that he was both blushing and failing to manage his expression.

He was the one who had held my hand tightly….

It felt unjust, but the embarrassment was stronger, so I only bit my lips in frustration.

Meanwhile, Kwon Jungwoo turned off the music. With the steady beat gone, the awkward atmosphere that was hidden behind it became more pronounced. When I looked at him with a questioning gaze about why he turned off the music, he quickly answered.

“I don’t like it when it’s distracting.”

“Oh-.”

“Do you want to listen to it?”

“…No. I don’t like it either.”

I said that while fiddling with the brim of my hat. Kwon Jungwoo must have meant it was distracting for driving, but I disliked it because the music was distracting from hearing his voice. Either way, the awkwardness would disappear quickly as we talked.

So I took the lead in the conversation.

“Do you like pop music? I’m not familiar with foreign songs, but do you have any recommendations?”

“Well, there is a song that’s been stuck in my head since earlier.”

“What song?”

Almost as soon as I asked, Kwon Jungwoo began humming. Watching him hum while driving with his eyes on the road felt like a scene from a movie, and I was mesmerized. I didn’t even realize the melody was familiar.

…The song he was humming was none other than my own cheering song from my active days.

“…….”

Kwon Jungwoo continued singing the entire song, regardless of whether I covered my face late or not, even moving his fingers along with it.

“Isn’t the song nice? If it were a formal album, it would be Billboard material, but it’s such a waste. I might set it as my ringtone to make up for it.”

“…There are many good radio CM songs these days. How about we just listen to the radio?”

I was sincere, but Kwon Jungwoo treated it as a joke and only laughed, not turning on the radio. The awkwardness did diminish as we talked, though my face felt like it might burst from embarrassment.

“Didn’t you say you’d cover up less from now on?”

Kwon Jungwoo, who was driving while looking straight ahead, glanced at me and asked.

“About the hat.”

I realized he was referring to my SNS post from yesterday.

“Oh, when I said I’d cover up less, I meant the mask. I think it was more noticeable because I wore a mask too.”

“So, are you going to keep wearing the hat?”

“Yeah. I’m used to it now…”

“What about wearing it backwards?”

“Backwards?”

“Try it.”

He lightly suggested, and I obediently turned the hat around. Since it was sunny outside and I couldn’t see my reflection in the window, I couldn’t check how my hair looked. After adjusting my hair roughly, I turned to face Kwon Jungwoo, who looked at me once, then twice.

“It looks much pretty. Keep wearing it like this.”

“…Pretty?”

The embarrassment made my tone sharp. Kwon Jungwoo was originally kind-hearted, with a habit of making the other person’s heart flutter with his words. I shouldn’t let myself be swayed by such remarks anymore. Despite the fact that I was seriously considering the direction of the hat, I was making another futile promise. Even though it would defeat the purpose of wearing the hat if I wrote it down like this.

Soon, the car stopped at a traffic light. I adjusted the hat and looked meaninglessly at the pedestrians crossing the street, feeling Kwon Jungwoo’s gaze beside me. I tilted my head slightly to avoid letting him see my eyes. I was afraid my feelings for him would be exposed.

“Can’t you just not wear the hat?”

His question made me turn around as if I had been waiting for it.

“Why?”

“There’s a height difference between us, so—.”

Kwon Jungwoo tilted his head slightly, as if trying to see my face completely, and lightly lifted the brim of the hat. As a result, the front of my hair became unstable and the hat seemed about to fall off, but his gentle gaze made me feel it didn’t matter.

“When we’re sitting like this, it’s fine, but when walking, I can’t see your face and it’s annoying.”

“…….”

“If I had known, I would have been born shorter than you.”

His words, delivered with a smile, were hard to distinguish as either playful or serious. I was relieved that the traffic light was short. I was busy feeling relieved after realizing I had failed to manage my expression.

“Then it would have been difficult to play basketball…”

“I would have just practiced more.”

Before starting the car, Kwon Jungwoo put the hat back on me. Because he used both hands to gently place the hat on my head, we ended up facing each other very closely. Even though the exchange of glances lasted only a few seconds, it felt strangely shy.

It wasn’t long after we started moving that Kwon Jungwoo asked casually.

“Is it because you’re worried about the hassle of not wearing the hat?”

“Ah… yeah. Maybe because I have a friendly image, people approach me easily. I’m grateful, but it also leads to uncomfortable situations, so it’s just easier for me to cover up. You probably wouldn’t know.”

“I wouldn’t?”

His tone was laced with irritation. Did my words upset him? I glanced at Kwon Jungwoo, who spoke in a low voice with determination.

“If anyone is rude from now on, use me. Either hide behind me or use me as a shield.”

“…Isn’t that the same thing?”

“The level of proactivity is different. If you’re going to use me, make it a shield. I’ll let you use me however you want.”

Despite his tone, his words were kind, suggesting that his discomfort wasn’t directed at me. I didn’t respond and stayed silent. I wanted to leave it as it was, since it felt like he was indicating he would stay around.

The car was quiet for a while. I was struggling with the impulse to take off the hat, feeling vulnerable to Kwon Jungwoo, while he drove quietly.

The entrance to the campus appeared at the end of the road. Had the school been this close? Just as I was about to say something to break the silence.

“Ah, I guess I drove too hard. My hand is numb.”

Kwon Jungwoo spoke with an uncharacteristic hint of shyness.

“So, could you hold my hand?”

He extended his right hand, which was resting on the gear shift, not the hand he was using to steer. I looked at him in surprise, and he urged me with a prompt.

“Hurry up. It feels like my blood isn’t circulating.”

Sure enough, unlike usual, the edge of Kwon Jungwoo’s ears was tinged with a rosy color.

…Could this minor driving cause a circulation issue?

Kwon Jungwoo wouldn’t lie, so my worry was genuine. It was clear that going out to exercise before he was fully recovered was the cause. He should have rested properly for a few days to fully recover his strength….

Concerned, I took his hand. I intended to hold it lightly, but the moment our hands touched, Kwon Jungwoo interlaced his fingers with mine. Although my hand was firmly held, I felt a sense of reassurance, having experienced this before.

“Your hand is warm… but isn’t your body still not fully recovered? You returned to training right after you got sick.”

“Uh-uh. Maybe.”

Kwon Jungwoo acknowledged it with a slight crinkle of his nose, as if resigned. He must have read my concern from my silence.

Kwon Jungwoo, glancing at me, burst into laughter.

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s just a little numb. Everything else is fine.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to rest today? You also exercised all day yesterday.”

“I’m fine. Really. Just hold my hand.”

His thumb gently rubbed my hand, as if to reassure me.

I quietly received his touch and then gently brushed over Kwon Jungwoo’s delicate knuckles. Pretending to help with blood circulation, I caressed places I had always wanted to touch. Even so, Kwon Jungwoo’s ears, which I glanced at occasionally, did not return to their original color. No, if anything, they seemed to get even redder.

“I should’ve just said let’s meet at eight.”

As his soft voice barely brushed my ears, the car we were in passed through the school gate.

Holding hands in the car on the way to school gave me a strange sense of excitement. Since I came in a car filled with Kwon Jungwoo’s scent, wouldn’t I smell like him for at least an hour? I was so lost in that thought that I didn’t even notice the yellow and white flowers blooming beautifully outside the window.

“You’ll need to go on more field trips if you want to take pictures.”

Kwon Jungwoo, suddenly asking about my major, licked his lips as if he were thirsty.

“Yeah. I’ll probably have to.”

“When’s your next trip? You’ll need a car if it’s far, right?”

“Hmm… I call it a field trip, but I mostly just wander around the neighborhood, so I don’t really need a car. Besides, lately, I’ve been more focused on an assignment I’ve been putting off because I couldn’t find a place to work. I’ve just been surfing the web to see if there’s a space I can rent nearby.”

Did I ramble too much? Kwon Jungwoo, who was now pouting with an “ah” expression, looked disinterested. Sensing his sudden drop in interest, I was about to check what I had just said when he asked another question.

“What kind of place are you looking for?”

“Hmm, somewhere that can show the relationship between space and lighting… Actually, to put it simply, anywhere that’s big. Big and spacious, like a gymnasium.”

“A gymnasium would be big enough?”

“Yeah, a gymnasium would be perfect. But I feel too guilty to ask the coach for a favor.”

“What if it’s bigger than a gymnasium? Would that be too much?”

“The bigger, the better…!”

I was answering without much thought, but then my breath caught. I realized which space Kwon Jungwoo had in mind.

He must’ve picked up on my reaction because he gave a mischievous smile.

“How about the day after tomorrow? Are you free then?”

***

The next day was the day I had my

class.

Though we hadn’t planned it, whenever I, the first to arrive, sat in the back row, three tall guys soon surrounded me like a mountain range. So, every Thursday at lunchtime, I unintentionally felt like I had three bodyguards.

But today was different. The two basketball players who arrived without Kwon Jungwoo immediately started chatting noisily.

“Jiwon, did you have lunch? We stuffed ourselves!”

“Burger King’s doing a size-up event today. You should go later! It shouldn’t be too crowded in the afternoon.”

“If it wasn’t for the game, I’d be eating burgers for all three meals today. Why’d they have to run the event today?”

Byun Seungjin, who had been grumbling, let out a long yawn. His freckles, scattered across his pleasant face, looked more prominent today.

“Thanks for letting me know. I was actually craving a burger, so I’ll stop by later. But you look a bit tired. Didn’t get much sleep?”

“I had a report due yesterday, so I stayed up late finishing it. I have a game today, so I should’ve taken better care of myself, but I’m dead tired.”

“Ah… You must be exhausted from both training and assignments.”

“For real. Playing basketball during the day, studying at night—it’s brutal. What do they call that? Day scholar, night student?”

“It’s

‘day laborer, night scholar,’