Awakening the Lightforged

Estingai stood in Frozen Phantom's command room with Marjatla and the other faction heads as they went over the casualties they'd sustained, but heard none of it.

I failed. I'm sorry.

Uuchantuu's words, the defeat in her voice, filled Estingai's head. Koruuksi, like his brother, had always managed to put on a smile when things looked bleak, but Uuchantuu was the one that had again and again kept hope alive in the quiet moments when those smiles started to crack.

If even she feels that broken, how can I possibly—

"Estingai!"

Estingai blinked, shaking herself as she turned to Marjatla. The woman wore a stern expression, orange gemcrest sparkling above her eyes, but Estingai could see how worn she was, too.

"Have you been listening to any of what we've said?

Estingai frowned shaking her head. Heat rose in her cheeks, but at the moment, the weight pressing down upon her overwhelmed any embarrassment.

"Sorry, what was it?"

"We've gotten a few reports from Ironpeak," Aaden said, voice grim. "They sent a speeder to us, partially to recall their people from Uuchantuu's team and to let us know that they're through with us."

"They provided rough reports of the wounded and supplies they had to abandon as well," Uuldina said, looking over a datapad.

Estingai winced, looking back to Marjatla. "How bad is it?"

Meik'ka snorted. "Terrible, if that even comes close to describing that. Ironpeak is burned, as are our contacts in Memfoso, and probably everywhere else on the continent. Ironpeak is evacuating to Last Shadow to join Mahele and his people. A few have come here, and I'm assuming those on the team you assembled will stay here, but I can't see how your vision of unifying us will ever come to pass now."

Estingai clenched her jaw.

As angry as it made her, she knew Meik'ka was right.

She met the woman's eyes, then looked to Uuldina. "And you two? Will you be leaving as well?"

Uuldina folded her arms over her chest, giving Estingai a flat look. "Like we have anywhere to go. Ironpeak will blame us for this as much as they blame you.”

Estingai looked to Meik'ka and blinked; the woman's eyes burned.

"That depends on you."

Estingai frowned. "What do you mean?"

“You’re not committed enough,” she said, “You take charge one moment, then want nothing to do with us the next. That’s not how this works. It’s all or nothing. We can’t afford anything else.”

Estingai blinked, about to ask the woman what right she had to make a demand like that, when Aaden spoke up.

"I agree."

Estingai straightened, tense. She looked to Marjatla. The woman said nothing, but Estingai knew she agreed as well.

Meik'ka sniffed. "I'm going to go check on my people while you mull that over."

Uuldina nodded as Meik'ka walked out of the room. "I should do that as well."

The aides followed, and silence stretched for a moment before Marjatla looked to Aaden. "Can I have the room?"

Aaden raised an eyebrow, then glanced at Estingai and let out a sigh before starting toward the door and waving for his assistants to follow.

Marjatla waited until the heavy metal doors shut behind him to turn her gaze on Estingai.

"Do you see a way out of this?"

Estingai winced.

Marjatla sighed. "I didn't think so. You talk about this mysterious plan you and Svemakuu had to unite us into the Remnant, to get us off Efruumani, but first we need—"

"It wasn't my plan!"

Marjatla blinked at the outburst, and Estingai realized her heart was hammering at her chest, blood pounding in her ears.

Estingai took a deep, shuddering breath in an attempt to rein herself in before meeting Marjatla's gaze.

"Svemakuu came up with the plan. It seemed like he thought of it on the spot. It wasn't something we went to Raima with to present to the other leaders at that meeting. Svemakuu had pushed for meeting with the leaders, and to be there when Raima did, but he hadn't told me about any of this."

Marjatla was silent, eyes wide as she clutched her datapad to her chest.

"I don't know the details of the plan," she said. "Just the broad concept that we get all the factions in cooperation, build or steal something that could bring down one of their cruisers, then salvage and rebuild it so that we have some way to get off this planet that doesn't involve dying or rotting in Imaia prisons. I'm just trying my best to find a way out, and I don't see anyone else doing any better."

Marjatla frowned. "I believe you. Maybe we've all been relying too much on your legacy to get us through this, and I apologize for that."

Estingai blinked.

"Thank you."

"But don’t try to convince yourself that you've been trying your best."

Estingai recoiled as if slapped. "Are you—"

"I don't know what it is," Marjatla said, cutting her off. "I don't know if you're in your own way because you're just scared to fail, or if losing Svemakuu really just broke you, but don't try and convince me that you've been giving your all the past few weeks."

Marjatla took a deep breath.

"You might not think so, because you have Kojatere and Matsanga to compare yourself to, but your name reached normal people like me," Marjatla said. "You're one of the Knights Reborn, Estingai. The stories I heard of you were those of a woman that would not be stopped. When something got in your way, you either regrouped and attacked it from another angle, or you smashed through it and kept going. I thought when you came back with the Lightforged's armor…" Marjatla shook her head. "But you haven't been that woman since that day you pulled yourself back here, and we need Estingai the Knight, not Estingai the Broken.”

Estingai felt hollow as Marjatla drew herself up, squaring her shoulders.

"You kept telling me that I should take Raima's place? Well, I'm doing that now. We need Icevein and Stormswind, even if we’re just trying to survive instead of escape. They don’t trust your leadership, so I’m removing that as a factor. You will no longer be part of meetings where your presence is not requested. You can work on ships and that armor, and I foresee a need for to fight again in the coming days, but for now, you are dismissed. I'll call you if I need you. Send the others in on your way out."

Marjatla waited and Estingai, dazed from the sting of her words, stumbled out of the command room and down the hall as her legs threatened to crumble beneath her.