Chapter 33: CHAPTER - 33: I AM TOO NAIVE TO TAKE CARE OF A CHILD.
Sana hadn't seen her family in what felt like an eternity. For reasons she couldn't quite pinpoint, the memories of them resurfaced that day. It wasn't as though she had any deep resentment toward them, but neither could she say they had been particularly kind to her. She missed her siblings, though. They had always treated her with kindness. I wonder how much they've grown, she thought, a quiet ache tugging at her heart.
Why was she crying now? Didn't she leave all of that behind? She had escaped that life, and yet the pull of her past still lingered. Now, she had a new family—one that she loved deeply. Levi, Isabel, Farlan, and this little soul she cradled in her arms were her family now. They were her future.
Still, a part of her couldn't help but wish to meet her biological family again if the opportunity ever arose. But that didn't change the fact that her heart belonged to this new family.
As she lay there, she felt the warmth of the child against her chest, her eyelids growing heavy. It had been a long day, and the exhaustion from both the mission and the emotional weight of the situation was overwhelming. She checked the time and guessed it was already midnight. She needed rest. Tomorrow would be a busy day, and she had to be up early.
But as the quiet of the night enveloped her, a sudden sound pierced the stillness—a cry. Oh, she's up already. Sana groaned inwardly. She was already drained, but she knew what needed to be done. It was time to get up.
What was she supposed to do now? Sana felt lost, unsure of how to care for the newborn in her arms. What the hell is going on? she thought, frustration creeping in. She had no experience with babies, no idea what she was doing.
The child seemed to be hungry. That much was clear. I should feed her. But where could she get milk from? Her own kitchen was out of supplies. They had been on a mission, and the milk she had would have spoiled by now.
She would have to go to the kitchen and bring it back, but how could I leave her alone? It wasn't safe. She couldn't just leave the little one unattended.
Sana's team had already risen for the day, some of them preparing to assist citizens in returning to their homes. Others, like herself, had different priorities. She had to check on the family of the child, see if there were any survivors. It was strange to her, this sudden calmness. Her emotions, once so tumultuous, had finally settled. She could now see clearly what was right and wrong.
And one thing was clear—she owed this little girl her life. She wouldn't be alive today if not for her. The concepts of life and death had become blurry, difficult to grasp. She wasn't sure if it was merely her consciousness or if her body had truly been teleported to this place.
Today was her day off. She would return to her duties tomorrow.
With the milk heated and cooling on the counter, Sana took a deep breath. She was still unsure of how to care for the child, but she would do her best. After feeding her, she planned to get the little one ready. She looked around the kitchen, wondering if anyone could help her.
"Ahh, excuse me, Teller, could you help me for a moment?" Sana's voice echoed through the quiet room.
Teller, one of her teammates, turned to her with a smile. "How can I help you, Sana san?"
"I need some clothes for a baby, if you can. I need to change her."
"Of course, I'll be right back." Teller nodded and quickly rushed out.
The milk had cooled enough, and Sana decided to give it to the child, even though she wasn't sure if the little one preferred it warm. She didn't want to make a mistake.
Sana felt tears threaten to fall. Why is this so hard? Raising a child, she thought, would be simpler. But the reality was far more complicated than she'd imagined. She felt overwhelmed, and it was hard to reconcile the image of a peaceful, simple life with the chaos around her.
One Hour Later
It had been an hour since she had started her efforts. The child was no longer crying, her small body resting quietly in Sana's arms. Levi would be coming soon to help search for the child's family. She was surprised by how calm the baby had become. She didn't cry much, only when something was wrong. She was such a peaceful soul.
Levi had suggested they search together, but he was late. Sana felt uneasy. Why hadn't he arrived yet? It wasn't like him to forget something so important. Was there an issue? Were they alright?
Her mind raced. She decided to go check on him herself. She quickly left the barracks, her thoughts consumed with concern. Her team members had their hands full, escorting citizens to refugee camps and helping them find shelter. She knew that they were stretched thin, but the thought of Levi not being where he said he would be made her stomach tighten.
She headed straight for Levi's headquarters, her footsteps quick and determined. She knocked at the main gate.
The door opened, and inside, she saw a flurry of activity. The room was filled with people, all gathered around the table. Levi stood in the middle of the commotion, Farlan seated in a chair nearby.
"Oh, Sana, what brings you here?" Farlan asked, his face lighting up with a smile.
"What's going on? Why is everyone gathered like this?" Sana asked, her voice laced with concern.
Isabel's voice rang out, sharp and biting. "Farlan wants to quit the Survey Corps. He's an idiot. I knew he never had the guts to begin with."
Sana turned her attention to Farlan, understanding his predicament. She knew what Isabel was trying to say—she wanted everyone to stay together. But it wasn't fair to force Farlan into something he wasn't ready for.
"I think we should respect his decision," Sana said, her tone tense. "If he's not comfortable, we can't force him. Erwin will understand. I was the one who pressured everyone to join, but if it's not right for you, Farlan, then you should quit."
Levi, who had been quiet until then, spoke up, his voice calm but firm. "Sana, I couldn't get there on time because of this mess. We'll leave as soon as I talk some sense into them."
Sana looked at Farlan, her heart heavy. She knew he was struggling, torn between his fear of the Titans and his desire to be part of the team. She understood that fear, but she also knew they had to find a solution.
"I think I have an idea," she said, looking at Farlan with hope. "Farlan, you don't have to go on expeditions anymore. Join my team. We could use your help with the blueprints and excellence with numbers and money. If you'd be willing, I wouldn't feel so lonely working alone. You wouldn't have to fight Titans, and you'd still be part of the Corps."
Levi glanced at Farlan, his expression unreadable. "It's your decision now. Being with Sana isn't a bad option. You can work here, live a quieter life, and not face the fear of going back to the frontlines. But it's up to you."
Levi stood, his decision made. "We'll leave it to you. Sana and I will go to Wall Maria now. We have work to do."
Sana nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. At least we're making progress.
They left for Wall Maria in the early morning, the journey stretching ahead of them. It would be a long and tiring trek, but Sana's heart was heavy with a different kind of burden. The thought of being apart from her child, from Levi, from her new family—it hurt in ways she hadn't expected. But for now, she had to keep moving forward.