Assassins Journey For Forgiveness

Walking down the sidewalk with Pschent and Suì-fēng. I was walking Xane on a leash as he possessed the body of a very stocky and large pitbull meat suit. Urahara can make it sound fancy all he likes, but it's a meat suit in the end for pure spiritual beings. Alopeke was sitting as a fox kit on Suì-fēng's head humming to himself. Meanwhile due to their concealment skills, a small procession of Kitsunes and Orthoses were around us. With only a single juvenile Cerberus among them. The Kitsunes were wishing Alopeke well that no problems occur with our kids. 

The hellhounds were because of the iteration of Hades that I personally knew…. Damn God and his dogs sending their kids to provide protection… should be more worried with keeping their Hell Gate sealed. My wives looked at me in amusement with Pschent asking me a question.

"My caring Zōg~ why do you seem so fed up with the hellhounds? Do you perhaps regret what you did for them to do this?"

"Never. A literal God, went out of his way to find a Juki like myself for his request. Since Juki's are mostly very willing to go fuck shit up or trust animals more than people due to war. Plus, a God all but begged for my help regarding those he considered family because their health and survival were at stake. So never will I regret it, even if the scars across my body I got in return ache in remembrance. I would journey through Hell and fight the lightning whore all over again, Pschent. These pups are but another reason why I did so after Hades came to me, and I saw the state of Cerberus and Orthos. I never want to see those looks again on those overgrown pups, those looks fit my kills more."

"That is why I love you… you are broken but never hesitate to be better than you are or were. I saw those scars and that… REMINDER… after your return in the Soul Society, yet you were smiling with contentment and let us treat them all without a fuss. The one that was meant to be my original Zōg would never have made me proud to call them such.

I think my mother always knew that I had lost interest, nor had any to begin with, and gained interest elsewhere with genuine happiness. Before she even knew of our union… because she told my father her plans for that contractual union. I watched my mother break the contract between us and another house, suffering physical punishment in turn, just to see me smile… so I would be disappointed in myself if I chose poorly after that all."

"I seriously forget you're a noble like our bee… your more I'm going to beat the living shit out of you and way more casual that I forget it. Then you go and talk like a refined lady abruptly on serious topics to you that it comes as a surprise all over. But thank you… I'm glad you think you've picked the right one, and are happy."

"It is certainly a surprise at times, because it's so infuriatingly easy to forget with her usual personality… she's tripped me up more times than I would like by doing her abrupt change in attitude at the most random moments during outings…"

Chuckling at Suì-fēng's hands trying to strangle an imaginary Pschent with a look of frustration. I simply pointed at the Caitten with an amused grin.

"She's stupid, stupid but deceptively smart."

Pschent just preens with a look of absolute confidence and amusement at my backhanded compliment. This only makes Alopeke giggle as he watches us with contentment. Suì-fēng scoffed with fond amusement at us both, because these little moments are a reason why she can laugh. Plus, they've both experienced my back handed compliments enough to know when it's just that or just me being a complete ass. I was being a light-hearted ass as I agreed with our bee, Pschent could just be bipolar with her shit unless she wanted to fist things to death.

Blinking I remembered when she literally fisted a Hollow Dragon to death. The Hollow had squashed her, and frankly flirted with me… that led to Pschent using her Bankai and fisting it to death abruptly. I was both flattered and amused at both situations that Pschent was yowling at me to stop laughing. Almost as if she knew what I was thinking and was about to say as I raised a fist to speak, her long and thin yet fluffy tail smacked my hand down as she growled.

"Don't you dare say what you were about to say!"

I stared at her, she stared back. I raised my fist quickly as I spoke in her voice.

"You can't hump him! Only I can hump that damned ranged pest you bleached lizard!"

She stared at me harder, Alopeke and Xane cackling along with me. Pschent tried to cause bodily harm as I started running away somewhat leisurely from the annoyed woman. Suì-fēng did not even attempt to help Pschent when she started whining. She just looked at her and smiled menacingly.

"Oh? So you want my help when only you can have intercourse with our husband? My my… how quaint that is compared to your declaration Pschent."

"Why are you both bullying me?! I be honest and you both just start this… What is it bully Pschent day?!"

As she whines at us both I check my phone to see if there was a made up day like that for any animal and I did find something….

"Huh it is actually "bully a cat day"…. I guess we just instinctively did our duty today."

"That's a lie!"

I just showed her my phone and the Google search I did, Pschent proceeded to break my phone. Looking at the broken phone I just sighed as I picked it up, digging out the sim and sd cards before putting the remains in a pocket. Pulling an inactive burner phone from a different one and slotting the cards into it and setting it up easily due to practice. My Caitten just stared at me dumbfounded.

"How do you do that so easily? I had trouble just setting up my phone, but you set it up as if you're changing magazines of a gun effortlessly."

"When you have shit radio's because you're a criminal battalion, but a lot of phones from dead people, you get extremely used to setting up burner phones. I think we set up more burner phones than radios, because again they gave up shit, without even thinking at one point that we just had phones at the ready. One of our guys even beat a Russian general to death with phones. Well with a bag of burner phones, they were a radio op, and an extremely ancient Nokia phone that we found a small yield nuke crater."

"Your old life sounds unpleasant… but highly amusing at times."

"No wonder you seem to always have a phone on you… though why do you have six Nokia brick phones attached to metal chains on a stick? I asked Yoruichi and Lara about that this morning, and they just stared at me with grins…."

"Oh you mean my "Nokia Flail" honestly that thing was hard to make in my last life. But no one expected to ever get assassinated by a flail made of brick phones, it is just too good to pass up such an effective weapon even in this life."

""That has to be a joke even for you.""

"No no no, I speak with all seriousness. The phone flail was so god damn effective as an unconventional weapon in the war that it literally became a war crime weapon. Although it only became that because my guys and gals used the few we had to attack people starting shit at NATO's headquarters. The pussies up top said they were to brutal in that it was more akin to torture if hit by them.

But we were a band of essentially enslaved criminals in war, so we didn't give a fuck. We kept using the damned things much to everyone's chargin. In one conflict as soon as even one was whipped out, the smart ones started running for the hills. The dumb ones learned that it doesn't matter if you're wearing a steel helmet or kevlar. The phones were going to fucking kill you if they hit you hard or just hit you enough."

They just stared at me as we stopped outside the doors of the Kurosawki Clinic. I shrugged my shoulders as they just couldn't comprehend the might of an old school Nokia phone.

'Since you've brought it up, I'll just let you know if you ever actually use Jenosido, you're going to have the first instance of that flail as it was radioactive. Jenosido is literally all your past weapons involved at once, the world would become partially rewritten just to use it. Plus I remember swinging that flail around and watching it start to become irradiated quickly with each swing. Because at one point it just melted a poor bastard upon grazing his face. Less said about us just flinging radiation around the best.'

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AN: Jenosido/Genocide mode is the equivalent to an extremely powerful reality marble, but only Juki's that have reached a certain kill count that it'd affect the world as a whole have it because they're the worst Sinners reborn for their little redemption quest

If anyone notices Hell mentioned a lot, yes Hell and Juki's, or as the American branch call themselves the Revolutionist, are tied together so the arc with Hell will have Juki's from all over being the main ones to stall or push the denizens of Hell back beyond the gates during that whole mess even if it kills them because it's not going to be a gentle event it's going to APOCALYPTIC

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"I have just been informed that should I ever go full on no holds bar, I would have the first instance of my Nokia Flail affectionately dubbed Radkia. Before you ask it both flung radiation at people and burned them alive with it after the phones heated up while being swung. The things had soaked up a lot of radiation that they essentially became inert uranium rods until they started being used actively."

"The more I hear about unconventional assassination and unconventional weapons, the more I question my family's own methods…. Because it honestly feels as if we're doing something wrong if people are less worried about our techniques than yours."

"If you have to ever use that stage, the phones are the least threatening thing you'd have or be able to do. My fist would be all but pillows compared to that level of danger. Because while you were in Hell I could FEEL it faintly from even in another realm with the air vibrating. I hold no delusions that out of us all, you're the bigger threat in a fight my Zōg. Xane, I feel, is also one of the bigger threats, because you both come from the same life, the same war."

"Ahem… can you three please stop talking about that stuff in front of my family's home and business?"

We all looked at the man that suddenly spoke, one of the doors half opened as he stared at us. His black hair was slicked back but not fancily, it was more natural. He scratched at his beard stubble as he looked at us awkwardly, especially at me and Suì-fēng. Ah, ex-captain Shiba, guess he really did retire to marry a Human woman.

"Sorry, our conversations are usually morbid in nature. It's one of the reasons why we are all together, it's relaxing to just speak honestly."

"It's fine, I'm used to it… plus my wife has been looking forward to meeting YOU, specifically kiddo. Me as well since you saved my wife and son years ago…. Don't even try denying it, you're the only Juki around with a rifle, both now and back then. Plus, your mother could've made the shot, Lara denied it when I asked around. So thanks really… you saved my wife in a moment of true life or death."

"I see… guess Urahara or one of the others filled you in then while I wasn't around, and this came as a good chance didn't it?"

The man said nothing, simply smiled at me before ushering us in. Looking mildly amused as our Hellhound detail also followed us in. Less amused with the Cerberus pup snubbing her nose at him with a stink eye. Though when I picked the three headed pup up by her scruff she acted like a big baby with how she just whines and paws at the air. Shiba just grumbled about favoritism as he glared at the puppy.

"It's not healthy to get pissy at a dog."

He says nothing but everyone else is highly amused, including the murky brown, with traces of orange, haired woman coming down some stairs.

"Getting mad at a puppy not liking you? Oh how far my husband and a once important figure has fallen… I love you regardless though Isshin."

"Ah yes, you're no longer a Shiba… your Isshin Kurosaki now. Meaning you must be Masaki Kurosak, his wife and former Quincy."

The woman just looked at me highly amused at me for once actually saying their family name correctly. As yes, I had been missing saying it because I was failing to comprehend how Shiba came up with it. I wanted to just add letters because it sounded RIGHT, not weird like Kurosaki. Because that means they're technically called Dark Wine as Saki is rice alcohol. That just doesn't make sense because Saki is white, and well I'm American even in this life. Being mostly unable to get over odd sounding shit is something just ingrained into my soul at this point.

While America isn't any better, I at least understood the mayhem and knew clearly if someone meant something. Other cultures still confuse me on if someone is mad or not… like can't you just say I hate you over some winded custom or exaggerated word play? Hell for SIX YEARS I couldn't figure out if a JDF lieutenant hated me or not because the dick head never just outright said it. Instead no had to be like Aizen is… fucking dickheads the both of them.

"Is he alright? He's been staring at our ceiling for thirty minutes now."

"Rion occasionally has moments like this from either remembering his old life, or complaining about something."

"When he just stares at you is when you should be worried truthfully as he's either depressed, murderous, or suffering a PTSD episode. Sometimes all three together at once."

"Ah so like my father then! When someone with PTSD is like that, it's best to not just jar them out of it with sudden actions or screaming. You need to do it carefully and non threateningly, as if they're a corner animal, or else you risk getting hurt or potentially even killed by them."

If they were going to play this game I was going to go for mutually assured destruction. After all, family is all about annoying each other and bonding. It is not because I'm certainly being petty in any shape or form for them airing out my issues.

"Pschent starts shedding random bald spots when she over-thinks Suì-fēng strangles voodoo dolls of everyone she knows in her sleep, aside from Yoruichi. Alopeke shits bricks of hatred if someone even says anything bad about any of us, Mom starts pole dancing when drunk and covered in vomit. Yoruichi if given catnip in any form becomes a depressive sexual drunk essentially. Ishida from what I know cleans his cross excessively because he's afraid it will taint his arrows if it's dirty. Xane eats squeaky toys to then vomit them up after squeaking them in his throat for three hours straight."

"I do not!"

"But thinking is stressful!"

"My shrine will be respected!"

"Squeaky is fun…"

"You're telling lies Zero, I'm not a depressive sexual drunk!"

Everyone stopped and stared towards the sudden voice. A black cat freezing mid step as they were sneaking about when everyone looked at them.

".... You saw nothing."

And like that she was gone as if she was but the wind. I couldn't help the incredulous cackle that came out at the absurdity of Yoruichi's actions. Isshin followed suit but louder as he found it more absurd than anything. The women just stared at where there had been a talking black cat, before eventually chuckling having finally processed the turn of events. The animals just snickered at the fact she got caught for voicing a complaint.

"Okay this is already one of my favorite visits… Please tell Yoruichi that I'll always remember this. Because this is something I refuse to let her live down after everything she's done to me."