Chapter 45
"Please, even if it's difficult, just try to relax. I need to check your body and can't do so if you lash out." (K)
An examination from Kyroki?
Do I want this?
"Are you capable of telling me what is ailing you?" (K)
"Is it so hard to see? It hurts! Everything hurts!" (N)
"Sigh! That much is obvious. What I was trying to get at was, in which specific way does the pain present itself? Is it stabbing? Tearing? Throbbing?" (K)
"Throbbing! It's throbbing! Everything's strained! My back is the worst!" (N)
"Good to know. I can work with that." (K)
The small nightmare girl crouches next to me and seems to have brought some tools with her of unknown purposes.
The one she's now holding in her hands looks more like a sharp murder weapon than anything that would help people.
"First, let's get rid of any obstructions." (K)
I don't know how she does it, but somehow Kyroki can drive the blade of this thing through the seems of my dress, even though it was made by Talisa and thus should be terribly durable.
I think there's something coating it.
The sizzling it causes being a bit of a hint.
"Okay, regarding your answers I have an idea. So let's get your back free." (K)
As soon as she cut enough, she pulls the already back-free dress further from my upper body.
Once all the fabric is gone, I feel her prodding at me there.
"Now, let's see. Quite hard to the touch. Concerning at best. How's it there? Not much better. What about..." (K)
"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!!!" (N)
It hurts!
It hurts so much!
The other places were somewhat fine, but this one spot was worse than anything I ever felt!
"Okay, I'll note it down as sensitive." (K)
This is so far beyond an insensitive understatement!
"What are you doing to her!" (L)
"Quiet! I don't need to get berated by familiars. Especially not about something you don't have the slightest idea about. Talk to me again when your legs break out." (K)
"Li-Liana." (N)
"Neri..." (L)
No, I can't force her to support me only because I need help.
That isn't fair to her!
"Snap, snap"
Suddenly, Kyroki snaps her fingers in front of my face to force my attention.
"Alright, I think I got the gist of it." (K)
The gist?
She doesn't seem all that worried about my condition, despite all the pain I'm in, though, on the other side, we're talking here about Kyroki.
"Wh-what is wrong?" (N)
"Simple. You got a cramp." (K)
She says this with a deadpan face as if it wasn't just absolutely ridiculous to say.
The last cramp I remember was in my foot.
It really hurt, but not so much that I'd rather bathe in acid than endure this for a single further second.
Ahh, it just won't get better!
It hurts.
"If possible, could you tell me? When was the last time you had your legs out? You know which ones I mean." (K)
My, my legs?
My spider legs!
Oh my god!
"J-just this morning." (N)
"And let me guess, without any care for them, you directly shoved them back inside?" (K)
"Of course! I hate them!" (N)
"Mhm. And I surmise the recent time was somewhat stressful for you?" (K)
You mean like when you slaughtered a bunch of people in front of my eyes and made me bargain for the life of someone who was nice to me, but in turn made her life a living hell?
Not to speak of the still ongoing spider confrontation training and worry about my changing spider body.
I notice that I'm crying, probably already have been for a while, as there's a small area below me that my tears burnt free.
"I don't want this! I want things to be normal!" (N)
"Yeah, and that's the issue. While nothing speaks against being longer in human than in spider form, by no means can you completely forego this without stretching them out fully once in a while. I doubt you currently have the capacity to learn about the intricacies of the folding process, but just know, it puts your inner body under quite some strain to maintain. If this never gets released for a bit... Well, here you have the consequences!" (K)
"What should I do?! It hurts!" (N)
"I basically already told you. You need to stretch them." (K)
Stretch my legs?
That means...
"No, no, no, no! Don't wanna! No! I hate them!" (N)
"Listen, Nerysi. Your cramps won't get better if you don't do it. You can't keep this up forever. I would press your pressure point yourself, but with as much strain as you are under right now, you might skewer me. And it would suck having to fix this." (K)
But I don't want to!
No matter how much it hurts, those legs... those legs are bad!
They're those of a spider!
And I'm... I'm... Don't wanna!!!
"Please no! Please, please, please no!" (N)
I cry on and on, but that doesn’t help the pain.
"Sigh. I'm not telling you this to torture you. Please, let me help you. I just want you to get better." (K)
Is this really Kyroki?
She sounds truly affectionate.
I almost can't believe it.
Does she seriously care?
About me, and not just as her project?
"Please!" (K)
"I-If it helps you, I think you should." (L)
I know as well that it can't go on like this!
I know that they're right!
The pain was already unbearable from the start, and the longer it goes the more it wittles down my mind!
It feels like I either release it or I'll spring apart.
But can I really do this?
Willingly?
It already happened in the past, but being so conscious about it makes it hard.
I can presume the horror I'm going the feel.
The terror at what my own body has become laid bare in front of me.
Still, it can't go on like this.
Kyroki is right, there's no way around this.
Ohmygod!
Ohmygod!
Ohmygod!
I shut my eyes tightly and release the mental constriction that holds my legs inside my back.
While doing so doesn't require a strong conscious effort, it still affords constant reaffirmation, which can become difficult to maintain in the long run.
Something I now stop with.
Immediately, the feeling in my back changes.
The strain turns into movement, forcing the spikes through a gap that opens up.
At first, only the tips, but because I'm under such extreme tension, they rapidly emerge further and further, till their full size threatens to force me up off the ground.
It's basically a miracle that I can maintain my sanity despite being confronted with my abnormal condition.
I feel their movements and even the faintest touch is relayed to me.
Their scraping on the ground, one brushing againt Kyroki, even the slight shifts in the air on their surface.
I really don't want to feel this.
I don't want to become aware that those things are a part of me.
That I'm this kind of monster.
However, the pain got alleviated, so it seems like Kyroki was spot on.
"Oh, finally! I was getting worried I'd have to put you to sleep and figure out how to trigger your body safely." (K)
And there the affectionate Kyroki is gone.
Though, I guess I can't blame her for treating me.
In the end, it was just helpful.
However, there's something that makes me anxious about my condition.
Even now that I have gone so far.
It still hurts!
Not nearly as bad as before, but despite extending them to their full length, these legs still feel incredibly stiff and tight, and my back continues to cramp.
"K-Kyroki. It helped, but it's not all that much better. My back still hurts." (N)
"Of course it does. They were under so much constant pressure it's not even funny anymore. But even worse is that you think after negligently mistreating your very own limbs this severely, you think you can alleviate the strain in your tendons by merely letting them half-assedly poke out." (K)
What does she mean?
Before I can contemplate this much further, there's a bit of a commotion from the hallway.
"Where is she?! Where is my sister! I need to be at her side!" (M)
"We were told Kyroki is already with her. I don't think you could help her as much as she can." (T)
"Who cares?! She needs me!" (M)
"Calm down, Masiabi! You should reassure her, rather than make her more upset by panicking." (A)
Opening my eyes, I look at the doorway, doing my best to ignore these limbs around me.
I see the others at the door, where Eritu welcomes them.
"You called us? It sounded grave." (T)
"Oh, Nerysi was in so much pain. It got better, but..." (E)
...But I don't feel all that much better.
Not with those things sticking out of me.
Even worse, now that they're all here, ogling me in this pitiful state.
I struggle into a sitting position, and from there manage to get to my feet.
With the additional weight, I can barely stand, but I don't want to use "them" for walking.
"As you can see, there are issues with our sister's treatment." (K)
"Ne-Nerysi, are you fine?" (M)
I guess she doesn't want to say my name in front of the others. I can relate to a degree.
"I don't want this! This feels so wrong!" (N)
"Only because you're not used to it. All you need is a bit of practice. They'll feel natural in no time." (T)
"I promise, if you just try not to focus on them as much, it's going to become far more bearable. I know this is hard, but if Kyroki says this treatment is for your sake, I believe her. She wouldn't make you do anything unnecessary." (A)
Akasia is, as always, a voice of reason.
If I'm right, Kyroki wasn’t even the least bit interested in my ongoing training.
More one to let everything develop naturally.
I doubt she would suddenly resort to dirty tricks for me to become accustomed to my body.
However, all of them are looking at me with my legs sticking out.
The worst is Liana, whose feelings I can directly perceive.
Although it's not the dominant emotion, I'm aware of it.
She's afraid of my looks.
Doubtful about my nature.
Even if it's only the smallest part of her, that one thinks I'm a monster.
I don't want this!
I can't stand constantly getting stared at like this, so I'll just retract these legs.
The pain decreased, so it should be fine.
"Mnngh! Wh-" (N)
Why can't I pull them back in?!!
"Neri?!" (M)
"What is wrong?" (A)
Masiabi truly said it, here, in front of them all, but despite the fact that I should honor this, I can't bring myself to it.
The reason being that something else, something much worse, is overshadowing everything else I can think of.
"I can't pull the legs back inside!" (N)
"You can't?" (A)
"Neri." (L)
"Sister..." (M)
"I'm so sorry for you." (E)
"This is concerning." (T)
"I feared as much." (K)
From one moment to the other, this statement makes everyone look at Kyroki.
"What do you mean? You knew she couldn't retract them after manifesting them outside her body?" (T)
"I wasn't sure. Seems like she forced too much onto her body. The cramps are still present and won't end if the appendages can't fully recover in a relaxed position. What she’s doing right now relieves it only to the barest extent." (K)
"Wait, are you saying..." (A)
"Oh no." (T)
What is it?!
What am I not getting about this conversation?!
What is so bad that even these true monsters can't help but look at a loss?!!
I'm scared!
"It's just as you assume. If this condition is ever to get better, there's only one inevitable solution. Our dear little Nerysi needs to fully turn into her spider form!" (K)
.
.
.
Huh?