Antidote

“He’s been suffering from severe headaches,” Lisbeth urged Ida with a solemn expression.“Could it be that the new medication you’ve prescribed is causing the problem?”“That’s unlikely,” Ida replied politely but firmly. “Let me examine Lord Slan.”She then opened her bag and took out several magical tools. Just like Enric had always done, she took my temperature, drew blood from my wrist, and examined the inside of my mouth and under my eyelids.“There doesn’t seem to be any major issue. I’ll return after analyzing the blood.”“That’s it? Look more thoroughly,” Lisbeth’s thick eyebrows rose in dissatisfaction. “Slan has never suffered from such severe headaches before.”“I’ll take a closer look. Lord Slan, have you experienced headaches like this before?”“Sometimes… but never for this long,” I answered, glancing nervously at Lisbeth. Several rounds of tedious questioning followed, and Lisbeth sighed, tapping her foot impatiently. After a while, Ida spoke calmly.“It’s likely that the headaches are a side effect of adjusting to the new medication. It seems the medication Enric was using before was too strong for his current condition.”“Too strong?” Lisbeth asked.“Yes. I suspect Enric continued to use it because there wasn’t much improvement in the memory impairment, but in this current state, the medication I’m prescribing is more appropriate. It may take longer for the memory to return….”“It will take longer to recover his memory?” Lisbeth interrupted.“Yes. Every medicine has its pros and cons, Madam Lisbeth. The medication Enric used was quite strong, intended to treat both the madness and memory loss simultaneously. It may have been effective in the early stages of the madness, but in the current milder condition, it might actually have negative effects. As you know, medication for treating madness inevitably damages the brain. The effect of suppressing seizures can, in turn, harm the parts of the brain responsible for thought. Enric might have believed that this reaction was beneficial for the memory loss, but I disagree. Memory loss is a minor issue, Lady of Glenberg. Isn’t it more important to suppress the madness?”Lisbeth looked thoughtful, her gaze turning to me.“What do you think, Slan?”I blinked a few times, feeling a bit dazed.“I’m not sure. I have headaches, but my physical condition isn’t bad… as for my memory… I don’t really know either.”Lisbeth remained silent at my response. After a moment of silence, she nodded.“Alright….”She trailed off slightly.“For now, let’s wait and see.”She placed her hand gently over the back of mine.“If anything happens, be sure to tell me. I’ll summon a magician immediately.”Lisbeth left the room first. Just before the door closed, I caught a glimpse of her aide whispering something quietly into her ear.Ida was preparing to leave as well. I hesitated for a moment before asking her a question.“Enric still hasn’t recovered from his fever, has he?”Ida slowly turned back to look at me. After a moment, she nodded.“It’s said to be severe. His condition keeps improving and worsening.”“It’s not contagious?”“No, it’s not.”Her voice was dry, but I gathered the courage to ask another question.“Ida. When did we first meet?”“…Strictly speaking, we didn’t know each other. I only saw you once.”“Once?”When I asked again, she smiled faintly. It was a small smile, but it was soft and kind.“My husband once served you, Lord Slan.”Her words widened my eyes. I let out a short gasp, “Ah.” Ida continued in a gentle voice.“We weren’t formally married, though….”The older woman’s eyes slowly reflected on past memories. As she recalled the past, her gaze sharpened, and her usual impassive and cold demeanor returned.“Anyway, it’s all over now.”It’s all over.Was she talking about their relationship, or was she referring to me?Sensing my hesitation, she changed the subject.“The Karlac court has been in turmoil lately. Please be careful.”“The court?” I questioned.Ida hesitated for a moment before lowering her voice to a whisper.“Rumors of rebellion are spreading, Lord Slan.”My heart sank to my feet and then sprang back up. My breath quickened, coming in sharp gasps. It took a long while before I could finally speak.“…You’re not talking about the Lord of Ipsen, are you?”“No.”She spoke with certainty, and her sharp reply allowed my tense chest to ease just a little.Her lips came close to my ear, and her voice dropped even lower. She whispered so softly that I had to listen carefully to catch her words.“They say it’s someone from the Triumvirate.”The Triumvirate…I swallowed dryly.Ida pulled her lips away from me. Her face, usually as composed as a marble statue, showed a faint tremor of unease.“There’s no concrete evidence yet, but judging by what Lord of Ipsen is up to, it seems he’ll soon bring that proof.”“Is he… involved in this?” I asked cautiously.“Lord Slan,” Ida said with an odd expression.“The Lord of Ipsen is involved in everything that happens in Karlac.”That was a strange statement.I remained silent.I couldn’t make sense of anything she was saying—about Jiyod, about the turmoil in Karlac’s court, or about the mention of rebellion, let alone that one of the Triumvirate members might be the instigator! And then Jiyod was supposed to be the one bringing the evidence?The Triumvirate were the hands and feet of the Duke of Karlac. The three members of the Triumvirate were the Duke’s head, hands, and feet. Along with the Chancellor, they aided the Duke in governing the vast eastern lands of Karlac. They allocated budgets, collected taxes, and decided where to send the army.There’s no way any evidence could exist, and even if it did, the Duke of Karlac wouldn’t believe such a thing.As if reading my thoughts, Ida quietly continued speaking.“Nothing is certain yet. I’m just worried that you might get dragged into this. Stravin’s funeral hasn’t even ended….”At the mention of Stravin’s funeral, I felt a wave of melancholy. I stared at my feet for a moment before raising my head to ask another question.“What’s your relationship with Lord of Ipsen?”For some reason, I had a strong feeling that she knew Jiyod. However, to my surprise, she shook her head firmly.“There is no relationship.”Then, in a calm voice, she added, “He knew my husband, but I have no connection to him.”From that answer, I understood that her husband was no longer alive. Unsure of how to respond, I stayed silent as Ida gave me a polite bow.“I’ve been delayed long enough. I’ll take my leave now. I’ll see you again next month.”Ida gathered her bag and left the room.Even after she had gone, I stayed in the room for quite some time, alone.All sorts of ominous rumors swept through eastern Karlac.Most of them were about Jiyod.They said he might have killed his half-brother. Otherwise, how could he have headed to Stravin so swiftly, even before news of the death reached Karlac?Lisbeth had strictly warned that anyone spreading such rumors would be severely punished, and as a result, the Glenberg estate remained quiet. However, you can’t silence the living, and the rumors spread quietly from mouth to mouth, ear to ear, like a message carried by the wind.At the end of spring, as the scent of oranges began to drift through the castle, the black mourning flags that had been hanging high in Karlac Castle were taken down. People shed their black clothing and began to wear colored garments again. Those who had left for Stravin for the funeral began returning to Karlac, one by one.Early in the morning, after feeding Lisbeth’s three children, I left them in the care of their nanny and stepped outside.The desolate corridors and courtyards, usually lonely, seemed brighter in the refreshing early summer air. A weak stream of water flowed from the old fountain, seeping into the cracks of the broken tiles.I rolled up my sleeves and dipped my hand into the fountain. The shallow water, warmed by the bright sunlight, felt tepid. My fingers brushed against a copper coin that had been submerged for a long time. The coin’s surface was slippery with grime from the water. I cleaned it off and dried it with my sleeve. The copper coin gleamed in the sunlight. Holding it carefully in both hands, I waited until my body heat warmed it before flipping it over and placing it back on the bottom of the fountain.Just as I stood up, I heard hurried footsteps approaching from the other side of the corridor.My heart raced with anticipation and excitement, but then quickly settled down again. These weren’t the footsteps of the person I was waiting for.Emerging from between the pillars of the corridor was Ismion, dressed in dark gray clothes.His black hair was hastily tied back, and his sleeves were rolled up to his forearms. Sweat beaded on his forehead, as though he had rushed here.“Lord Slan,” he called out.He ran up to me, gasping for breath. His tall, reed-like frame swayed unsteadily. He bent over, hands on his knees.“Whew. I made it just in time.”His words caused my eyebrows to narrow.“I’ve been meaning to ask you…”Ismion looked up at me, still catching his breath, before straightening his back.“How do you always know where I am? You and Sir Jiyod both.”“Ahh,” Ismion let out a groan, sounding dazed, as he fiddled with his hair.“Well… I suppose it’s the power of Sir Jiyod’s love, or something like that?”“Stop avoiding the question.”“I’m not avoiding it! It’s just… Today, I had a feeling Lord Slan would be here. And since Sir Jiyod returned to Karlac at dawn, I thought you might have heard the news.”“Ismion.”I said his name firmly, and Ismion flinched slightly. After a few groans, he turned his head to gaze at the distant castle wall before shifting his attention back to me.“Well, the thing is… Please don’t tell Sir Jiyod, alright?”“Alright.”I nodded obediently, and Ismion let out a relieved sigh.“The truth is, I’ve planted one of my eyes here in this corridor.”“An eye? You mean a magic eye?”“Exactly. Though it’s a bit different from the ones the Karlac mages use….”A troubled expression crossed his usually impassive face. He placed a hand on his forehead and sighed. As if on cue, a large shadow rippled in the corner of the corridor, where the pillar and ceiling met. The shadow slithered down the pillar like flowing tar, before rising into a long form. A large eyeball rolled into view.“That’s it,” Ismion said with a shrug.“I’ve linked my sight to it.”My mouth dropped open. I stared in disbelief, alternating my gaze between the grotesque eye and Ismion’s face. A moment later, my face flushed bright red.“So, then, during that time… Surely, not… everything…?”“Oh no, not at all,” Ismion quickly replied, clearly understanding what I was implying.“I’ve connected it to Sir Jiyod, not myself. It’s not something just anyone can do, but anyway, don’t worry. Whatever the two of you were doing here, in the dark, I didn’t see a thing.”I exhaled sharply.My flushed face refused to cool down. With one hand covering my cheek, I stole glances at the eyeball, which now stretched its long neck like a lizard before slithering back into the shadow. It swiftly climbed the pillar and disappeared into the crack between the ceiling and the pillar.I looked back at Ismion.The embarrassment that had briefly surfaced on his face had faded, leaving only my flushed expression.“Sir Jiyod got word you were here, so he asked me to come in his stead.”His voice was dry as he continued.“Sir Jiyod has gone to see the Duke of Karlac today, so he won’t be able to come.”“Ah…”I nodded.“So you came to tell me that…”My gaze wandered back to the spot in the pillar where the eyeball had disappeared. There was nothing there now. Was that one of the capital’s dark arts as well? I was curious, but I pushed the thought aside.“…Thank you for letting me know.”“It’s nothing,” Ismion said, with a slight bow.“But aren’t you glad to see me? I know Sir Jiyod had a grand time with you before heading off to Stravin, but it’s been a month and ten days since I last saw you! Not that I expect to be noticed, with Sir Jiyod in the picture. Do you even realize the mansion where the two of you had such a great time was one I picked?”He lifted his head and began grumbling in a way that was unlike him. I was caught off guard, and the mention of Jiyod brought the heat back to my face, which had just started to cool.“Ah, um… sorry.”I fidgeted awkwardly with my fingers.“It’s not that I’m not happy to see you… And yes, I knew the mansion was your choice. It was wonderful. Oh, how was Stravin?”“Took you long enough to ask.”He grumbled.“But it’s fine. I’m sure you have more important things on your mind. Nothing eventful. The funeral was boring. You can ask Sir Jiyod for the details.”“Right…”I nodded, then suddenly remembered something Ida had said and voiced the question.“Why did the Duke of Karlac summon Sir Jiyod?”Didn’t he despise even seeing him…?At my question, Ismion’s lips curved into a crooked smile.“Well, it’s obvious. It’s because of the rumors. Lord Slan, you’ve heard them too, haven’t you?”“When you say rumors…”My breathing quickened, and my voice grew smaller.However, contrary to my rising tension, Ismion seemed completely unfazed. He crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders.“The rumor that Sir Jiyod killed his half-brother, of course.”Without realizing it, I looked around. But the surroundings were silent, with only the sound of water gently flowing from the fountain. Ismion spoke again.“Don’t worry, Lord Slan. There’s no one around. I’ve hidden my eyes and ears nearby.”“More eyes?”“There’s nothing inside except what I showed you earlier, and that’s only connected to Sir Jiyod, so don’t worry.”After speaking quickly, he exhaled briefly.“Anyway, they must’ve called because of that rumor. Otherwise, why would she insist on seeing Sir Jiyod?”“No way…”“Don’t worry. The Duke of Karlac can’t do anything. There’s no evidence. They probably just called him out of spite. They’ll summon him to the royal court and ask a bunch of meaningless questions, maybe along with those snakeheads from the Triumvirate. Or maybe they’ll just have him stand outside the court all day, like last time… Either way, they can’t do much more than that.”He said this coldly.I mumbled reluctantly.“But… then why did you leave for Stravin ahead of time? And why were you there, Ismion? It only raised suspicion.”“That was to let them know we were the ones who killed him.”A faint smile briefly appeared and then vanished from his cold lips. My shoulders stiffened. I looked closely at Ismion’s face, wondering if he was making a terribly bad joke…“Why that expression? Surely you didn’t actually think it was an accident, did you? That man was a knight, Lord Slan. As much as I hate to admit it, he was quite seasoned. Are you saying such a man got confused and ran alone into a burning forest full of assassins?”Then Ismion chuckled cheerfully.“Oh, really. Sir Jiyod would have been upset. He wanted to see the scene himself… But in the end, I was the only one who saw it. Though, of course, I gave him a very detailed description. Would you like to hear it?”I shook my head quickly. My heart pounded, and my lungs heaved up and down.“Why… why did you kill him?”Ismion looked at me in response to my question. The smug look that had been on his face moments ago slowly faded, replaced by the expression of a child who had just realized he’d made a mistake.“Hmm.”He closed his mouth with a troubled expression.“Umm… well, this is…”Ismion repeatedly opened and closed his mouth, and at some point, his temples became damp with sweat. He wiped his temples with the back of his hand.“Lord Slan, you probably don’t remember well. There are many reasons.”“What reasons?”“It’s too complicated to explain everything here.”“Urkal…”I recalled the back of that blunt man.“Urkal told me you wouldn’t hide anything from me.”“Aah…”Ismion let out a long groan.“You’re right. It’s not that I’m trying to hide this, Lord Slan. It’s just that… over the past two years, so much has changed, I’m not sure how to explain it all…”He looked so genuinely distressed that I felt a pang of guilt, wondering if I was being too harsh on him. I lowered my head for a moment and looked down at my toes. Between the tiles where soft weeds grew, I could see the tips of my worn-out shoes. I reminded myself of my position and situation once again.You’re a slave, Slan. You have no right to scold Ismion.After a moment, I lifted my head.“Sorry, Ismion. I spoke too harshly. I know some people…”I hesitated, choosing my words carefully.“I know some people disliked Sir Jiyod. And that they wanted to harm him.”Ismion looked down at me in silence. There was a brief moment of quiet.The young Karlac mage let out a sigh between his lips and slowly began to speak.“Lord Stravin hated Sir Jiyod. He tried to kill him many times. Dozens, maybe even hundreds of times… Sir Jiyod was lucky that his mother hid her pregnancy until the very end…”My eyes widened. Ismion noticed and stopped speaking.“Don’t you remember?”I nodded, and Ismion, now speaking with a dry voice, continued.“If that’s the case, you should ask Sir Jiyod yourself. What I’m trying to say is this: Lord Stravin wanted to kill Sir Jiyod and came very close to succeeding several times.”Does Jiyod want a title?As if answering my inner question, Ismion continued.“It’s not just about a title. The Stravin family is a threat. To Sir Jiyod and to you as well.”“To me?”Startled, I asked, and Ismion answered firmly, “Yes.”“You probably don’t remember now. It was back when you were still the young lord of Karlac. You were pushing several initiatives together… the war with York, territorial expansion towards the capital, and large-scale infrastructure projects. There were many who opposed you. Lord Stravin was one of the most staunch opponents. We dealt with him as part of that.”I was left speechless by the unexpected response.The war with York, territorial expansion, large-scale infrastructure projects… These were all terms far removed from my current life.Ismion’s dark eyes stared at me quietly, like a puppy abandoned by its owner.“Lord Slan.”He called out to me, and I met his gaze instead of responding.“We haven’t given up on anything.”His eyes gleamed with an odd light, cold yet somehow heated at the same time.“It’s only been delayed. About two years.”“Two years…”At my murmur, a slow smile spread across his lips.“Yes. We haven’t given up on anything, including you. Just trust and wait for now. As for Sir Jiyod, I understand it’s hard to have faith in him given the way that madman behaves… But in any case, it’s clear that you are the only thing on his mind.”My face flushed again, and I nodded.“Yes, I know.”“So, does that answer your questions? There’s a lot more I could say, but since I don’t know how much you actually remember…”“No, thank you.”I answered quickly.Although my memory, gnawed away by madness, might not hold forever, I still stored this new information in a corner of my mind. Especially Ismion’s words that they hadn’t given up on anything, including me—I stored them carefully. Knowing that at least one person believed my madness would be completely cured and my memories would return made me feel both deeply embarrassed and bitter.Before the melancholy could overwhelm me, I changed the subject.“The mage who examines me has changed.”“Oh, yes. How is Ida?”At Ismion’s reaction, which suggested he knew Ida well, I hesitated for a moment. But since both were Karlac mages, it wasn’t surprising they knew each other.“I think she’s capable. I don’t see her often, though…”“I suppose not. Hmm. Nothing unusual?”“Nothing major, just a slight headache since my medicine changed. No real improvement, though, and my memory…”As my voice grew more downcast, Ismion looked at me closely.“Is the headache very bad?”“Sometimes it’s severe, but not often…”“And what does Ida say?”“She says I’m still adjusting to the medication. She also mentioned that the previous one was too strong.”“She’s one of the most skilled in the field of medicine, so you can trust her words. Even though the other Karlac mages don’t acknowledge her, she’s exceptional. If she had studied in the capital, she’d be…”Once again, he started praising the capital, and I listened quietly. I suddenly recalled a dream in which Ismion had grumbled to me, and I couldn’t help but smile.“Come to think of it, I had a funny dream…”“A dream?”“Yes. It might have been an old memory… or maybe not. I’m not really sure. It could just be one of my delusions.”“What kind of dream?”“You were in it, Ismion.”“Me?”Ismion’s expression turned very strange.“Not Sir Jiyod, but me?”“It’s not like I always think about Sir Jiyod.”Embarrassed, I quickly retorted, and Ismion shook his head in mild discomfort.“No, that’s not what I meant, but…”“Sir Jiyod was there too. We were together… it’s just, you were closer to me.”“That’s strange. Sir Jiyod was there but allowed me to stay closer to you?”Ismion often made exaggerated remarks when badmouthing Jiyod, especially accusing him of jealousy like an overly possessive husband. I struggled to suppress my laughter and nodded.“Yes. We were standing in front of some cliff… I think it was somewhere in the Tanallan Grand Canyon. Not Soedergran, but somewhere further south, probably near Mannerheim, judging by the shape of the trees…”“Ah, Mannerheim. We used to go there often. All of us together.”“Really?”My voice brightened noticeably, even to my own ears. It felt like I had just been presented with proof that this dream, rather than being a delusion born from my madness, was somewhat based in reality.“We were talking about a bridge across the gorge.”“Ah…”Ismion closed his mouth. He looked at me, his chest rising and falling heavily.“I see.”His voice sounded choked, as if he was on the verge of tears, which made me worried.“Are you alright? What’s wrong?”“Not at all. Please… continue telling me about the dream.”I glanced at him a few times, but he seemed eager, almost pushing me to keep talking, so I opened my mouth again.“You mentioned the survey results…”“‘The survey results shouldn’t be too different.'”Ismion interrupted me with a loud voice, and I blinked, staring at him. He quickly continued.“‘Thanks to the accurate design plans. But we might need to tighten the budget a bit more.'”“Uh, yeah…”I stammered, caught off guard.“Exactly, that’s what you said.”“That was three years ago, in the canyon northeast of Mannerheim.”My mouth fell open.Was this dream really something that had happened in the past?Ismion began to laugh quietly.“Lord Slan,” he whispered joyfully, “it seems Ida’s medicine is working. Your memory is starting to return, isn’t it?”“But… nothing else has…”“Don’t be impatient.”He took a quick breath and grabbed my hands with both of his. Then, startled by his own action, he quickly released them and jumped back.“Anyway! Just don’t tell anyone about this, especially not Glenberg.”He was echoing Ida’s words.“And make sure to tell Sir Jiyod directly. Don’t mention that you told me first. If that lunatic finds out that I heard about your returning memory before him, he might lose his mind and cut out my tongue in jealousy.”“Hahaha, don’t exaggerate, Ismion. Sir Jiyod isn’t that cruel.”“Do I sound like I’m joking? I’m serious.”He suddenly straightened up and continued, his face turning serious.“He once said he’d like to gouge out the eyes of anyone who so much as looked at you. Not that there are just one or two people staring at you wherever you go. If things had gone differently, he’d be known as the ‘eye collector of Karlac’ instead of the ‘Ipsen butcher.'”A cynical smile twisted his lips.“And, well, it’s not like you’re just ordinary-looking. No wonder he’s a little possessive. I’m not one to care about appearances, but wizards from the capital, they tend to focus on the fundamentals… like the structure of bone and muscle. But I must admit, your features are almost perfectly aesthetic…”I frowned at the sudden compliment.“Don’t say things like that.”“Why not? Surely you’re not embarrassed by such compliments now? People used to go on and on about your hair and eyes the moment they opened their mouths…”“Stop.”The memory of my shabby reflection in the mirror while waiting for the steward at Red Gate flashed in my mind, and I was overwhelmed with shame.“You don’t need to flatter me. I know… I know I’ve become… shabby.”“What?”Ismion looked at me in disbelief. He tilted his head and studied my face. I turned away from his gaze.“How did you even come to that conclusion? Don’t they give you at least a shard of a mirror in Glenberg?”He sounded just like Jiyod. I pouted and muttered.“I’ve looked in a mirror.”“Well, sure, you’ve lost some weight, and your clothes aren’t as they used to be, so I suppose you could say you look shabby in comparison… but that’s relative. Only relative.”His words seemed like an attempt to comfort me, but they only made me feel more depressed.The shabby man I had seen in the mirror, sitting slumped with drooped shoulders, was me. And I remembered how Jiyod had held me in his arms, praising my hair for glowing gold in the sunset, my eyes for their blue hue, saying he’d never seen anyone like me before, kissing me all the while.“It’s fine… Sir Jiyod isn’t really someone who cares about looks.”“…Well. I won’t say any more about it.”Ismion’s eyebrow twitched, and I felt relieved that this conversation was finally over.