Antidote

Enduring the pain, I forced myself to stand and put on the clothes that Lister had once given me, instead of the tattered ones I had on. The moment the soft fabric touched my skin, I shivered. I wanted to tear off the clothes immediately, but I couldn’t walk around naked, so I suppressed my disgust and slipped my limbs into the clothing.After clumsily running my fingers through my disheveled hair to straighten it, I stepped outside. Though I didn’t want to, I had no choice but to limp as I walked.If I could just get some hot water from the kitchen and use it for a compress, maybe my ankle would feel better…Lost in my gloomy thoughts, I made my way down the hallway.As soon as I entered the kitchen, the bustling activity of the people inside came to an abrupt halt. A few of them glanced at me furtively. They probably all knew about the commotion from the previous night. I forced myself to appear unaffected as I stood at the doorway and asked,“Could I borrow some hot water? I hurt my ankle and need to do a compress…”The head cook looked at me for a moment before nodding. He instructed a young cook to pour boiling water into a bucket.The young cook kindly helped me carry the bucket back to my room. I thanked him, but he only nodded awkwardly before quickly disappearing.I soaked a cloth in the water and placed it on my ankle. The hot steam soothed my skin.I repeated the process several times, soaking the cloth in the water and pressing it against my ankle until the water became lukewarm. The swelling seemed to go down a little, but my body was still feverish, my fingertips flushed pink, and a dull headache throbbed in my head. My mouth felt gritty, as if sand was rolling between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. I had no appetite at all.I knew I should get up, but my body felt heavy. A faint light was seeping in through the small window. By now, Lister would have already been up.He’s going to be annoyed…But my body simply wouldn’t obey. I felt cold. The cloth on my ankle cooled, and my shoulders began to shiver slightly.I pulled the blanket over myself and lay down sideways on the bed.Just a little while, I’ll lie here just a little while.I closed my eyes with that thought.Curling up under the blanket like a newborn, the cold seemed to ease slightly. My eyelids felt hot. I couldn’t tell if I was cold or hot.I must have dozed off.In a drowsy sleep, I saw the blazing dawn and the quartz mines. Wings sprouted from my feet, and I flew effortlessly across the continent. I bent down to peer into the deep crevasses between the canyons and leapt over mountain ranges in a single bound. I saw the black rocky coast and the crashing waves, the endless salt flats, and the horizon beyond.I woke up to the sound of someone speaking softly.Lifting my heavy eyelids, I saw an unfamiliar face.An old man with white hair and a long beard was standing there. A copper ring adorned his finger, shaped like two snakes entwined, their mouths open. It was the seal ring of a Karlac wizard.“Who…?”My voice was cracked.The elderly wizard lowered his head to look down at me.“Are you conscious?”When I nodded, he reached out and touched my forehead.“Your fever is still high. You need to rest more.”Only then did I notice Lister standing beside the wizard. He was dressed in black, arms crossed, looking very sullen as he stood there with a slanted posture. He snapped at the wizard.“It’s been a while since you gave him the medicine. Why does he still have a fever?”“We can’t use strong medicine right now,” the wizard replied calmly.He bent down and looked at my foot.It was only then that I noticed my ankle was bandaged. It was thickly wrapped, as if something had been applied underneath.“Be careful for now. I’ve done what I could for the time being, but… how long has it been since the injury?”“About a month…”It had been around the time of the sandstorm, so that must have been it. My answer made Lister’s face twist in anger.“Why the hell didn’t you mention that before! You idiot!”His shout was like thunder. I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes.“Damn it! Not this again…”“Sir Lister, he is still a patient,” the wizard interrupted.“Tch!”Lister clicked his tongue in irritation. I said nothing.“The condition wasn’t good. We’ll have to monitor it to be sure, but… it might not be the same as before.”The old man said this with no emotion, but it was Lister who reacted.“What do you mean, ‘not the same as before’?”“…He might end up with a limp.”“What? You quack! And you call yourself a Karlac wizard!”His voice rang through the room once more, and the old wizard looked troubled by Lister’s attitude.“Sir Lister… Magic isn’t a miracle.”“I didn’t ask for a miracle! I told you to heal her!”Their back-and-forth argument made my headache worse.It wasn’t until much later that their voices quieted down.All I could hear was Lister’s rough breathing. I opened my eyes again.Lister was standing very close, looking down at me. His hand suddenly reached out and touched my cheek. Ever so slightly… my eyelids trembled in response. I turned my head to avoid his hand.“Damn it.”He grabbed my chin with a small curse.The spot where he had hit me yesterday started throbbing.“It hurts…”My voice was faint.Lister’s hand flinched at the sound, and he stepped back. I heard him curse harshly, but the words didn’t really register.Perhaps due to the drugs, sleep began to wash over me again. It felt as if someone had hung weights on my eyelids. I closed my eyes, and everything blurred as I drifted back into sleep.Creak, the sound of the door opening woke me up.It was dark around me.It seemed quite some time had passed. The surroundings were silent, and the darkness of the night had settled into every corner of the room.Turning my head, I saw a large brazier placed next to the bed. The red coals inside it were glowing fiercely, emitting heat. The warm air gently tickled my cheeks.A black shadow flickered beyond the faint light of the brazier. It approached the bed silently. I lifted my gaze.“Awake?”It was Lister.I pretended to be asleep, not welcoming his visit, but when he moved close to the bed and sat down on the edge, I eventually opened my eyes, unable to keep up the act. I was afraid of what he might do while I was asleep.When I sat up and hastily moved away, Lister made a puzzled expression.“Am I going to eat you?”I glared at him without replying.He was holding a heavy cup in his hand. Steam rose from it, carrying a soft, sweet scent.“Drink this.”He handed me the cup.I frowned and stared at it.It was milk with a sweet smell, as if honey had been added.“Take it.”He pushed the cup closer. I didn’t take it.“Take it, I said.”Lister’s voice grew impatient. He was now trying to push the cup close to my face. Knowing the violence lurking behind his unpredictable kindness, my face twisted in discomfort. I quickly turned my head and pushed his arm away. Normally, there’s no way he would have been moved by such force, but his arm swayed, and the liquid in the cup splashed into the air.“Ah!”The hot liquid spilled onto his arm and my chest.“Damn it!”As my short scream rang out, Lister yelled and threw the cup. The porcelain cup hit the wall with a loud crash and shattered into pieces. I flinched, and simultaneously, Lister’s hand pushed me violently. My upper body was thrown back, and his rough hand grabbed my shoulder.“D-don’t…!”The shameful memories of last night came flooding back. My body began to tremble. I shook uncontrollably as I struggled to push his hand off my shoulder.“Do you still think you’re above me?”He looked down at me. His face was partially hidden in the darkness, making his expression unreadable. The hand pressing down on my shoulder slowly moved upward and gripped the back of my neck. His large hand clamped down on my throat, pressing softly yet forcefully. Even though the grip wasn’t that tight, the intent behind it made it hard to breathe.“Answer me, Slan. Do you still think you’re above me? Do you think I’ll just back down like a dog if you tell me to stop?”He brought his face close to mine. His hot breath poured onto my cheek.I looked up at him, unable to move.His eyes glistened, and that gaze pierced me like an arrow. His hard fingers tapped my cheek. It was a touch as if he were stroking a horse or a hunting dog.“You’re not stupid enough to actually believe those hopeful words she said to you, are you? Someone as smart as you?”His cruel words stabbed into my heart and lungs like a blade. I gritted my teeth and glared up at him. Lister chuckled as if he found my gaze amusing.“Do you think you can escape from being a slave? Do you think things will go back to the way they were when I knelt before you? Say something, you’re good at talking. You used to speak so confidently in front of me, even though you were just a slave.”When I remained silent, Lister just stared down at me for a while. His face slowly moved closer, and I could feel his hot breath on my lips. He whispered softly.“That will never happen, Slan.”The whisper was barely audible.“You’ll live like this forever.”He laughed. It sounded like a curse, and it wasn’t far from one. I didn’t want to cry, but it was as if my tear ducts had been malfunctioning since yesterday—I couldn’t control them. My irises grew warm, and the corners of my eyes grew moist. Tears slowly gathered on my eyelashes.Lister’s abdomen twitched as he pinned me down.My sobbing gradually became more intense until I was shaking with heavy sobs. I lay there helplessly, arms and legs spread out like a sacrificial offering, and cried for a long time.Lister watched me cry for what felt like an eternity.＊ ＊ ＊I began to limp slightly on my left foot.It didn’t bother me much. As long as I didn’t run, it wasn’t too noticeable.Time passed like a shot arrow. A month had flown by without me being able to flip a coin at that fountain. Winter had already reached its peak.The snow would fall and then stop, the workers in the castle swept it away all day, or sometimes sleet mixed with rain turned into hail… It was the same old winter in Karlac.I stayed inside the Glenburg residence the entire time. To be honest, it was because I was terrified of Lister’s vile threats. Lister seemed to enjoy seeing me so cowed, often smirking as he watched me limp with my left foot dragging.“With that foot of yours, you have no choice but to behave yourself. It’s better this way.”I just kept my head down, letting his words go in one ear and out the other.It was after another considerable amount of time had passed that I heard any news about Jiyod.From the morning, Lister had been in a good mood. He was even humming a tune, his face bright all day. I found it strange but didn’t bother to ask.As I was fastening the belt over his tunic, he spoke up in a cheerful voice.“Slan.”I glanced up, and he grinned.“Have you heard the news?”“What news?”“Good news, of course.”He nodded a few times.“That bastard is finally leaving Karlac. Isn’t that great news?”At those words, my heart dropped to the ground and then leaped back up. I struggled to calm my pounding heart, lowering my gaze to avoid Lister noticing the turmoil in my eyes. I hurriedly fastened the buckle of his belt and stepped back.Lister looked at me. His gaze clung stubbornly to my cheek and the ends of my hair. After a moment, he let out a nasal hum and shrugged.“Not interested?”“Why would I care about that….”I replied weakly, and Lister chuckled as if pleased.“Well, yeah. You never cared about rumors, even back then.”I kept my mouth shut, saying nothing. When I brought him his cloak from the wall, Lister naturally turned around. As I draped the cloak over his shoulders and knelt on the floor to smooth out the hem, my mind was spinning.Leaving Karlac?Already?Winter hasn’t even ended yet?I wanted to grab Lister by the collar and demand answers, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Besides, if Lister got suspicious for no reason… It felt like my lips were sealed with glue; I couldn’t get a word out.At that moment, as if reading my thoughts, Lister spoke.“And you know, Celsi is coming back from Kirdara.”“…Celsi?”Celsi was the youngest daughter of the Grand Lord of Northern Struvin and Sodergran, making her a distant relative of Lister’s and a distant cousin of mine. She was also Jiyod’s half-sister. It had been several years since she left Karlac after marrying one of the minor lords of Kirdara.“What happened?”Could it be that something had happened to jeopardize the marriage alliance between Eastern Karlac and Kirdara? My voice trembled with anxiety.“It’s good news.”Lister spoke in a soft voice as if to reassure me.“She recently had a child.”“Ah…”It was something to celebrate.As far as I remembered, the old Duke of Kirdara had no grandchildren yet. The child Celsi gave birth to was the Duke’s first grandchild and would be a significant turning point in the still-unsettled succession of Kirdara. It was a joyous occasion, strengthening the alliance between Eastern Karlac and Kirdara, who had long been allies.“But why?”“Recently, the situation in Kirdara hasn’t been great, and after giving birth, her health has deteriorated, so she’ll be staying in Eastern Karlac for a while. With the child.”As Lister spoke about childbirth, his face subtly hardened. The sudden decline in Lisbeth’s health after her last childbirth had been a shocking event for him.“Is the alliance okay?”At my question, Lister shrugged.“It’s not something you need to worry about… but yeah, it’s fine. We’ve already discussed it. There’s been some conflict among the Seven-Headed Dragons of Kirdara.”The fact that the Kirdara ruling family claimed to be the Seven-Headed Dragons was well-known across the continent. Of course, the reality was nothing more than a baseless superstition that they received power by tattooing the founder’s mark on their bodies a thousand years ago. The fact that Lister, a member of Karlac’s nobility, would mention such nonsense himself made me frown. Ignoring my expression, Lister continued.“They want us to take care of Celsi and the child in Eastern Karlac until things settle down.”Then, he squinted his eyes and looked down at me with a faint smile on his lips.“They must be just as busy as we are, don’t you think? Lord of Karlac.”He sneered at me.I quickly lowered my head, my face flushing with shame. I clenched the front of my clothes with both hands. The humiliation and sorrow made it impossible to lift my face.“They’re different from us, though. I’ve never heard that the Seven-Headed Dragons of Kirdara are gentle enough to leave their enemies alive. Compared to them, our Lord of Karlac is lucky, isn’t he?”I said nothing, staring down at my feet for a long time.“Well, anyway.”Lister seemed to have had enough of tormenting me and changed the subject.“Given the season, it looks like they’re planning to come through Sodergran. I just hope the snow doesn’t block the roads. It seems that the Duke of Struvin, worried about Celsi crossing the treacherous winter roads, has personally chosen someone to go meet her. Do you know who it is?”No way….I raised my head again.Lister grinned.“That’s right. The Duke of Struvin specifically selected that bastard. He might be going, but who knows if he’ll make it back safely.”With that, he let out a cheerful laugh.“The Great Canyon must be covered in snow by now. It’s probably snowing a lot. A whole lot. If a horse or carriage were to slip on those snowy roads… hmm. It wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened, right?”His hand gently rested on my shoulder. It was soft… yet from that touch, I felt a strange chill. Goosebumps spread from where we made contact, crawling across my entire body. I struggled to breathe, trying to hide my reaction. Inhale, exhale, inhale again….“Well, it’s not really something you need to worry about. It has nothing to do with you now, right? And it never will.”As he spoke, he withdrew his hand. The moment he did, I recoiled as if I had been burned.“I’ll be back late tonight. Have dinner without me.”He said in a voice that sent shivers down my spine, sounding disturbingly gentle.“Be good, be good….”Then, as if casting a spell, he repeated his usual words.I slowly nodded my head just once.