An Obsessive Man Raised Impurely

  

Once again, he was foolishly deceived. After everything he had been through, he still fell for the false

kindness guarding

my selfish desires.

 

*   *   *

 

Sometimes,

on days when it rains torrentially

as if r

ain wants to make a hole in the sky, I remember the first time we met.

 

And every time,

I ask

him, 

 

“Why did you believe me back then?”

 

And even though I’d asked the same question dozens of times, he always made the same troubled face. And after a long pause, his lips would twitch slightly before giving the same answer. 

 

“…because of the rain.”

 

Although the one who got drenched was you, not me? 

 

And as if reminiscing he would add,

 

“I just felt like I needed to believe you. Otherwise, it looked like you would disappear any minute.”

 

After that reply,

he would look at me with a face full of indescribable emotions.

 

Only now did I realize.

 

It was me, not him who looked desperate on that day.

 *   *   * 

Dark clouds poured rain with all their might as if announcing the doomsday.

 

He gave an answer only after the unprotected side of my body outside the umbrella got drenched.

 

“Why would you say that?”

 

“It’s raining a lot. I can’t

allow

a child trembling in the cold, alone, in this kind of weather.”

 

“…That’s a lie.”

 

While digging on the ground with a runny nose and wet strained shoes,

he spoke again.

 

“I know you want something else from me.”

 

Watching

him rummaging through the muddy and messy ground, I had the illusion he was penetrating right through me.

 

So I lied on purpose. I needed to pretend that I didn’t know he was an ‘archmage.’

 

“What?

Do

you think you could grant me a wish? What kind of boy can do that?”

 

“…”

 

I could feel his intense stare at me.

 

Finally, a small head lifted up, and a pair of blue eyes like forget-me-not flowers in full bloom

fixed

on me.

 

The sudden goodwill of a total stranger was enough to make him anxious. It was the result of deep and sticky loneliness piled up for a long time.

 

His sharp gaze flashed, and the two lips pressed tightly for a while

finally

opened with a pitiful voice.

 

“Because I know how to use magic.” His voice trembled slightly.

 

“What about it? You know magic, well, that’s not a big deal.”

 

“What?”

 

“You still look like this because you can’t avoid the rain, am I right?”

 

I spoke coldly. I knew why he confided to me that he was a wizard.

 

‘He’s testing me.’

 

With a wizard in front of them, people would go crazy trying to gain favor. 

 

Money, Power, Honor.

Wizards

had the power to grant their wishes.

 

And thus, as I might be one of those

covetous

people, he was testing me.

 

I reached out, concealing my

true desire.

 

“So, come with me. Let’s go home.”

 

“But…”

 

“

Wizard or not,

you’re just a kid in my eyes. I just want to help someone in need.”

 

The eyes fixed on me were softer than

earlier.

Still, he was cautious.

 

“No matter how much of a savior you are, even if I can use my magic properly, I won’t help you.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“I won’t give you a lot of money, and I won’t make you the greatest beauty.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“It’s… still okay for you?”

 

“Yeah, it doesn’t matter.”

 

“…Why?”

 

“If it’s money, I have more than I can count at home, so I don’t need it.”

 

Of course, all of that assets belonged to Grand Duke Gray. But even if all of that were to be passed on to me through inheritance, it wouldn’t be of use to me.

 

“And I’m already pretty enough, aren’t I?”

 

Boasting of

myself in such a muffled and cold voice was incongruous, but I didn’t care and continued speaking.

 

“There’s just one thing I want from you.”

 

“…”

 

“Later. Please do me a favor when I need it.”

 

“Once again, if you want wealth or power from me–”

 

“I don’t want such useless things.”

 

I paused for a moment and thought about how to convey it.

 

‘How do you see me right now?’

 

After contemplating my words carefully, I ended up choosing the most unappealing expression.

 

“It’ll be something easier than catching a mosquito.”

 

“…What do you want?”

 

“Later. I’ll let you know when the time comes.”

 

I straightened my back and dodged his eyes full of questions.

 

“Have you made up your mind?”

 

His head, moving slightly up and down, brushed my thigh. I strode forward,

leaving the shelter of the eaves.

 

 

After a brief moment, he tagged along.

 

“Good choice.”

 

Shadows of different lengths moved under an umbrella in the same direction.

 

We shared a small umbrella and walked under the gloomy cloudy sky. His footprints

stamped

over my previous footprints on the muddy road.

 

The decision to keep you by my side, who would later bring ruin to my life, was a cold, precarious road.

 

As if knowing the future that awaited me ahead, the dark, eerie sky

continued

pouring down a torrential rain with fierce force.

 

*   *   *

 

When I returned to the fountain, the escort knight was still standing there.

 

As soon as he saw me, he hastily approached. I didn’t care that he was

drenched.

 

“Miss, I was pondering about coming to escort you back since the rain has gotten heavier, but… who is this kid?”

 

He seemed bewildered seeing the Lady he served to come back with an unexplainable companion.

 

“He’s coming with me.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“I found him while passing by. I couldn’t just leave a child alone in the rain.”

 

“D- do you know that kid?”

 

Intending to give a strong impression to the child one more time, I opened my mouth.

 

“Hadelion.”

 

“That must be the name of this child.”

 

“Yeah. That’s his name from today onward.”

 

The child’s eyes widened. I pretended not to notice the clear emotions on them.

 

“I do not know if His Grace will approve of this, but… the rain isn’t showing any signs of stopping anytime soon, so we must

return home

.”

 

Whether I thought I couldn’t break my stubbornness, the escort knight meekly backed down.

 

Sitting side by side in the carriage, we looked out the window. The escort knight on the coachman seat shook his whip and the wagon slowly started to move.

Countless rain-soaked landscapes

passed by silently through the window.

 

It was Hadelion, the boy, who carefully broke the quietness.

 

“Why did you give me a name as you pleased?”

 

“Sorry for calling you however I wanted. If you tell me your name, I’ll call you properly.”

 

“…”

 

“What’s your real name?”

 

His lips flinched and stiffened. I asked even though I knew he couldn’t answer.

 

‘Because he can’t say he doesn’t have a name…’

 

Fiddling with his fingers on his lap he muttered in a low voice.

 

“I’ll just go with that name.”

 

“It’s good, Hadelion. I thought it would suit you.”

 

Originally, the person who should have given the ‘name’ was not me, the villainess, but the heroine of the original story.

 

But I didn’t necessarily let him know. I wanted him to be

bound to me

even for a moment, even if it was because of the name ‘Hadelion’.

 

“Hadel.”

 

As I gazed out the window, I called out to him. I could see the Duke’s residence getting closer and closer.

 

“Have you ever killed a person?”

 

A cold and eerie silence spread inside the interior of the carriage as if devouring

us

whole.