An Angel’s Road to Hell

Cassandra Pendragon

The warm, gentle breeze of our flight ruffled my hair, almost like the lingering memory of a loving, caressing touch and a stark contrast to my shitty mood. “I just so happen to know two dragons who might be willing to help out” my lily white ass. Not only had the senile serpent used my own grandmother’s blood to facilitate Viyara’s birth, he had even had the audacity to swipe it under the rug and act like nothing had happened. “I tried to court her once,” he had said. Sure. Apparently court was a draconic euphemism for tapping a pint of blood when you weren’t looking.

True, the more likely scenario was that she had slapped him seven ways to Sunday and he had collected what she had left behind on his body but I wasn’t really interested in being reasonable. As far as I was concerned he owed her… and since it was my fucking own blood he had been after he also owed me. Big time. Provided the essence Quenda had tried to distill had truly been Ancalagon’s waning line. The only silver lining that kept me from throwing a tremendous tantrum was Viyara. No wonder I had always felt connected to the girl. In a very roundabout way she was… mine. Just imagining her face when she’d find out lightened my mood considerably. Luckily she wasn’t listening right now, as she was engrossed in a conversation with Narros and Sera.

“Should we… are we safe,” I heard Quenda’s urgent whisper behind me, as far as oversized monsters were capable of whispering, at any rate.

“Perfectly,” Kana immediately replied. “Her anger isn’t directed at us. We would know, if it were. What did you show her, anyways? She isn’t looking too happy.” A warm gust propelled me along when the dragoness snorted.

“Did the lighting give it away or the fact that her wings have swelled to twice their usual size? Nothing much, I thought. An example of how good I actually am when it comes to riddles and the reason why my brother and I have a connection to Viyara and Ignus that’s slightly more profound than she might have imagined. I didn’t expect her to become riled up, though.”

“Then you don’t know me very well,” I growled without turning around, still seething. “I’d never have imagined that the genius ritual, facilitating Viyara’s birth, was nothing more than theft.”

“And what is it to you,” Quenda inquired. “It happened long before you were even born.”

“Don’t give me that crap. If you’re as clever as you want me to believe, you’ll already have figured it out, don’t you? You even voiced your suspicions to your brother.”

“So it’s true,” the dragoness immediately replied and, despite the small discharges in the air around me and my crackling wings, accelerated to reach my side. She wasn’t a coward, I had to give her that. “It really was a memory of your magic?” More like the memory of a stolen dream, watered down over generations, but yes, Ancalagon had been created from my very own spark.

“More or less, more than I care to admit and less than you make it out to be. I… damn it, I never actually intended to even mention it, but chances are… tell me, Quenda, do you know my name?Has Ignus told you?”

“Sure? It’s Cassandra, isn’t it?” I sighed.

“My family name.” I titled my head to the side and focused on her glowing eyes before I continued: “ I’m Cassandra Pendragon and the flying mountain behind us is called Sera Pendragon. Now, can you add two and two together?” Apparently she could. Her eyes went wide, her smooth wing strokes stuttered and she fell a few metres, surrounded by a cloud of acrid, thick smoke, streaming form her nostrils, before she regained her balance.

“You can’t…” she stammered breathlessly, “you’re… your family… how?”

“Stubbornness and bad luck?” It wasn’t even a lie. “But that’s not really important right now. Have you ever told a living soul? Your mother or another dragon you meant to impress?”

“Of course not. Ignus would have skinned me alive. I only showed you because I thought it wouldn’t matter… and I was right, wasn’t I? Are you… how can you be the ancestor of the Pendragons, if you’ve been born into their family only recently? It’s an echo of your magic that turned them into what they were… what they are, isn’t it?”

“I think so. At least if the creepy feather duster didn’t lie,” I added quietly under my breath, recalling what my mom had told me about the story the Broken Wheel had shared with my family. “I’m old, really old. Old enough that my age would grind anyone to dust. Once in a while I need a… fresh start. During my last… incarnation I didn’t always see eye to eye with the rest of my race. My essence was stolen as a consequence and the first Pendragon was born.”

“But then… if even our monarchs are nothing but a shadow of your strength, what are you really?”

“Sera already told you, I’m an angel. I’m… a remnant of what once was, long before the idea of life was even born. I’m not a part of this world, any world really. I’m… a guardian.”

“A guardian? Against what or whom?”

“Against the darkness, against the silent oblivion, lurking behind the veil. And if I have to, against my own people,” I added in a whisper before I continued: “but right now I’m simply trying to wrap my head around you. You expected this from the start, didn’t you? Let me ask plainly, what are you after?” I whirled around in midair and spread my arms wide. “A drop from the source? A chance to use the magic you developed for yourself?”

With a sidelong glance at Kana she replied: “I thought you said she was more hopeful. That’s actually pretty cynical. Can’t I just be curious?”

“If you were a pigtailed, blue eyed farmer’s daughter, sure. Somehow I don’t buy it, coming from a self proclaimed genius amongst dragons.” She blew out another cloud of smoke, interspersed with silvery sparks.

“Fine. I don’t want to grovel anymore when a towering dragon with the cranial capacities of a slug tells me what to do. I want enough power to live freely, apart from the rotten, one dimensional customs of our race. I want to achieve what Sera has and I thought my chances wouldn’t be that shabby if I managed to get into your good graces... or hers, for that matter. Satisfied?”

“Partly. What do you mean, exactly? Provided we’re going to get along, what’s waiting for us down the line?” She shrugged.

“Ignus told me about your plans concerning Viyara’s naming ceremony. I’m neither after your blood nor your strength. I simply want to be the first to offer you an alliance, once you’ve achieved your goals.”

“And if you had been mistaken? If neither I nor Sera had lived up to your expectations?”

“Honestly, I would have done what’s necessary and made myself scarce as soon as possible. But that’s idle speculation, now, seeing as you’re even more than I dared hope. So, can you live with who we are? You’re right, neither my brother nor I are magnanimous saints but we aren’t blinded by our nature, either, and I do think we’ve quite a lot to gain by helping out to the best of our abilities.”

“Works for me, but I’m not the one you’ve got to convince.” She seemed surprised and looked at me questioningly. “Talk to Viyara, tell her the truth. It’s her decision, not mine.”

“Won’t she ask me to hash it out with you, anyways?”

“Once upon a time, maybe. Not anymore. She’s grown up since she’s met Ignus. You’re going to be surprised how headstrong the frightened girl has become. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Talk to your brother. He’s had the pleasure of her company for a while now and I’m sure he’s desperate to be rescued.” She craned her long neck doubtfully but as soon as I felt her presence reach out to him she reconsidered:

“Maybe you’re right. I guess we won’t be seeing much of each other in the coming weeks, but please think about my proposals. Both of them. I can help you with Amon and I’m still very much eager to forge a bond, in the draconic sense, once you’re able to.”

“Like I said, talk it over with Viyara. As for appointing you as the general of a non existing army… I will think about it. You might have my decision sooner than you expect.”

‘I’ll wait. Cassandra… it’s not exactly been a pleasure but I’m still glad I had the chance to meet you personally and, since I’m still in one piece, I’m prepared to call it a success. Fair winds and good fortune during your travels.”

“This isn’t goodbye, not quite yet. Still, thanks and the same to you. Before we part ways for now, one more thing. Your mother. I’d like to meet her when I return. Do you think that’s possible?”

“Of course. She’ll want to visit anyways. Or do you have something more permanent in mind?”

“Maybe, maybe not. It depends on her. We’ll have to see. When next you talk to her, please extend an invitation in my name, I’ll make sure she won’t have any troubles, whenever she decides to visit.” The dragoness inclined her head while she was already swerving around with slow, measured wing strokes.

“Much appreciated. Until later, then.” I watched her rejoin the sparkling group behind us, my mind stilled wrestling with our conversation. Call me crazy, but I liked the girl. Arrogance, brains and confidence mixed with an healthy amount of caution. Maybe…

“We’re not going to get rid of them, any time soon, are we,” Kana piped up and grabbed my hand, pulling me higher into the sky until my tails danced in a stiff, cold breeze, smelling of seaweeds and electricity, and goosebumps erupted all over my arms. We were carried along without the need to fly on our own, the feathery white clouds and the sparkling sea an ever changing, soothing canvas before my eyes. A single, dark spot in the distance was slowly getting larger, the first sign of Free Land, appearing on the horizon. We’d be there within half an hour, provided the dragons wouldn’t slow down too much. I imagined they had quite a lot to talk about, some topics rather unsuitable for human ears.

“Do you want to,” I asked and cocked an eyebrow, even though the effort went to waste entirely. The playful girl was much too busy admiring our surroundings again.

“No, not really,” she finally replied and tore her gaze away from the jagged coastline, still hazy in the distance. “It doesn’t concern me much, I won’t be here, will I? But I still think you should know… Quenda feels a bit like my old self.” I stiffened and immediately felt the pressure of the winds against my tails. Kana turned to face me when my hand slipped through hers and chuckled. “Maybe I didn’t phrase that quite right. I didn’t mean to insinuate that she’s broken in any way, but the peculiar nature of dragons, their disposition to objectify and hoard people, mixed with her… let’s call it intelligence, at least for now, makes her much more predictable than anyone else I’ve yet met. I don’t think you’ll have too much trouble with the pair.”

“I hope you’re right,” I mumbled while I allowed the chilly stream of air to propel me further. “In case you’re not… it has always struck me as ironic that, of my entire family, I am the one with the most blood on her hands, by far, yet I’m also the one who’s least prepared to spill even more. The two of them should better be on their best behaviour around Sera or my mother.”

“Since we’re already on topic, what about your brother? He’s… I don’t quite understand him. Sometimes he seems apathetic, maybe even broken, but then again he was willing to step up, when you asked. It doesn’t make much sense to me.”

“People are rarely simple or one dimensional,” I explained. “He’s… growing but it’ll take sometime before he can put his demons to rest. If I thought sitting on his ass and stewing would do him any good I wouldn’t have asked. He’ll be fine. And once he actually sees something grow from the fields he has tilled, he’ll be more than fine. Might be the same for you. Often we need something new to focus on for the wounds of the past to heal.” She smiled softly.

“But I do have something to focus on. There’s so much to learn, so much to see, so much to feel… I’m slowly starting to realise that even pain is precious, in its own way.”

“It lets us know we’re still alive, doesn’t it? Kana… do you want to tell me what you’re running from?” She hung her head, but the smile remained on her face.

“I do and I will, but not now. Let me… I want to dream, I want to see what awaits me in the dark. Afterwards… I’m sure I’ll be the one to beg for you to listen.”

“Didn’t you dream last night?”

“No, the spider enchanted me. I slept soundly and in absolute silence for a few hours. Who is she, anyways?”

“That’s a long story. A trusted enemy? I don’t mean to… still, the best comparison would be your past. She’s powerful, clever and old. She knows revenge, evening the score, inside and out, but I’m not so sure if she understands hatred, never mind friendship or love.”

“Less like me and more like you, once upon a time, isn’t she?”

“You… you know of my past? Did we meet before I…” she shook her head slowly.

“You probably can’t remember, who knows how many there have been over the aeons, but when I… when the me from the past was little you told me stories. It took me a while to figure it out, but you often spoke of your life. Except… I’ve never quite understood why you always used yourself as the villain of your tales. Now, I think I know. You’ve come to hate what you once were.”

“Not quite,” I replied. “I don’t hate my past and I don’t think I ever did. It’s just… we all have our convictions, our enemies, our heroes. I’ve always pitied who I was before and I never want to go back. The stories I told you were probably as much for me as they were for you. A reminder to never forget and to cherish… even the pain. Now I want to ask you something. I remember you fell in with Atlas and payed for it, dearly. Why? Because I left? Why did you need that power?”

“Selfishness. I wanted to survive long enough to see you again, it’s true, but I also wanted to… you’ve shown me much, destroyed the limits of what I believed possible. All that… knowledge, the power I had already gained, I wanted to use it, to make a difference. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, isn’t it? I guess I’m the perfect example. I couldn’t stand against the guilds, never mind an empire. You taught me to think and I wanted to share that gift.” She shrugged. “He found me and offered me a deal… in your name. He said he was your kin, so… Cassandra? Are you alright? You look like you’ve swallowed a frog.” I really wasn’t. It wasn’t the most underhanded trick I had been forced to deal with, but using my name against the people I cared for was personal.

The more I got to know them, the more I came to mistrust my immortal family. Ever since my very first dreams I had known that some of them were rotten to the core, but the off handed cruelty of a demon I couldn’t even remember felt… suffocating. We were just so different. To me, mortals were children, to be guarded, protected and nourished, maybe guided when it became necessary. To them… they themselves were infants, playing carelessly with their toys and if they broke one in the process, it didn’t matter one bit. They didn’t need guidance. They needed punishment.