An Angel’s Road to Hell

Cassandra Pendragon

Now, you might be wondering how he could have known Latin, considering Earth was just a burning piece of rock when he had been around, but… this part of the story I knew myself. It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise by now, that a battle, involving immortals and their creations, wasn’t necessarily tied to a single time. Time travel was possible. Sure, it was convoluted, risky, almost impossible and more often than not deadly, but still possible. Otherwise Ancalagon’s descendants wouldn’t even have made it here, considering Gaya hadn’t even existed, back then. No wonder we had thought them dead, the future was a terrific place to hide, it seemed.

A few hazy memories resurfaced. Reality torn asunder, the future and the past bleeding through wounds defying description, the desperate struggle of a lost, forgotten people, finally crumbling before the wrath of immortals. In their darkest hour they had fled, seeking refuge behind the walls of a cosmos that was trembling in the vice of transcendent forces. To Earth they had run, whether by chance or design, and there they had lived for a few, peaceful years until they had been yanked back callously, angels and demons unwilling to give up their most precious toys. And now, I also remembered what I had done to keep them safe. Not only had I made our siblings forget, even though I still didn’t know how, I had also closed the veil, once the Aretes and the Pendragons had been sent to Gaya. I had used my own power to strengthen the flimsy membrane around their destination, guaranteeing that each and every one of my brethren, even if they should somehow regain the knowledge, would find nothing but ravenous flames waiting for them. Which begged another question…

I had never quite understood why Amazeroth had tied his wards to Gaya’s weave. I mean, superficially it might seem like he didn’t want me to use my transcendent abilities to put an end to the whole farce he had meticulously constructed but the risk wasn’t worth it, for should they fall, we would all burn. But what if Gaya herself was already saturated with a presence that allowed her to withstand an immortal attack? What if he had made use of my own spells, spells I had cast aeons ago, and had used them to guarantee his wards wouldn’t falter? What if… he was the only one, aside from Ahri, who could manipulate my powers, channeling them into a much more complex, much more hermetic protection than I had ever managed?

On the one hand it felt… comforting. I had come to trust in my abilities quite a bit and the idea that it was my own strength that kept us safe was, even though it might sound conceited, reassuring. On the other, it meant that I was somehow tied to Amazeroth much more intimately than I had expected and that didn’t sit well with me. Plus it also meant that I had to be extremely careful. If I was right, my own spells, my own intent, might leech the energy from the wards much more easily than I had thought. It wasn’t about manipulating the weave on a global scale, the problem was my will, spreading through Gaya and attracting the motes of my energy Amazeroth had used to facilitate out protection. If my conjectures were right, that is.

“I fear they are,” Ahri’s thoughts interrupted mine. “I’ve listened… it just fits, doesn’t it? And it’s also the kind of ironic circle Amazeroth loves. You, creating a barrier in the past that would keep you safe in the future. I’m… pretty sure you’re right and I’m also wondering if he had already seen it all, back then. If he had known, long before the war tore our world apart.” I groaned, which made the whole table flinch. When I blinked in surprise, I realised that my wings had manifested and my crown had appeared, framing me in silver and blue, my figure and my face hidden behind a veil of eternal light. The minstrels and servers has taken refuge behind the counter, eyeing me fearfully from behind their oaken bastion. At least they hadn’t fled, yet.

“Sorry,” I mumbled embarrassedly and released the tide I felt rising in my chest. I really had to be more careful, especially now that I knew what was at stake. Again, we might just as well have been wrong, but the longer I thought about it, the less likely it seemed. “I…”

“Was it something I showed you,” my mom asked hesitantly.

“Not… directly. Rather what it might mean.”

“Want to share with us,” my sister inquired nonchalantly, the only one entirely unfazed by my reaction. I sighed.

“Yes… and no.” I raised my head and caught their eyes, one after the other. “There’s been much going on of which you know very little, if anything at all. For Ahri and me, as cruel as it might sound, the squabbles with Amon, the brewing war to the north… it’s all just a… journey, but not the destination.” I chuckled coldly. “At the end of the road a conflict is waiting for us, the shadows it casts through time enough to make our world tremble and despair. Do you really want to know? There… might be no turning back. Eventually, if we don’t fuck, life on Gaya will resume, we will be gone and this whole nightmare will be a legend of the past, the story of how two immortals woke and grew up. Knowledge is dangerous and what I’m referring to might be deadly. If you know who and what we are… I fear it might be like opening a door and I won’t be able to slam it shut again.”

“Honey,” my mother quietly said, her solemn gaze conveying that she wasn’t taking what I had said lightly, “I fear it’s already too late for that. I… I think I know more than you imagine. I can even prove it to you, or how else do you think I’d know the following: we’re already well past the point of no return, simply because we love you. That’s something even immortals don’t understand, is it, or why else would you need to take in a mortal soul to grow… stronger?” I gasped like a fish on dry land and Ahri didn’t fare much better, but she, at least, managed to press out:

“How? When?” My mom shrugged.

“I’m a transcendent hybrid who’s been linked to your minds more than once. I’ve seen more than you obviously expected me to. I’ve never made a fuss because I didn’t see the point but ever since my daughter called me back from death I’ve known where this journey ends and I’m not going to leave my child. It’s as simple as that. Love, be it the one you share, or the love of a mother for her daughter, it turns you into a reckless fool but it also allows you to survive when you really shouldn’t have. All of us are living proof of that. I can’t speak for the others but I’d really like to finally hear your story.”

“I’m dead already, anyways,” Alassara added. “But,” she turned to Layla, a sad, almost melancholic smile playing around the corners of her mouth, “I’m not going to order you to leave, I’d like you to, though. They’re your… friends, even more so than mine, but I still think you shouldn’t yet make a decision that might impact the rest of your life.”

“I want to know,” the girl whispered. “They’re more than friends to me. Cassy… you came for me, you saved me from the darkness. Even if I can’t do the same, I’ll still try.” Despite myself I felt a genuine smile spread across my features, even though my eyes were stinging. She couldn’t really know what she was talking about, but that made her words all the more precious, at least to me. I had always had a soft spot for children and that was the reason why. To them, the world was much less complex, the pitfalls of right and wrong, strength and weakness, much less relevant than the simplicity of friendship and care. Another irony of the world that we were born with a deep understanding of what truly mattered until it became buried underneath experience and rationality. Afterwards we had to struggle all our life to regain it. Age and youth truly were very similar, but not in a derogative way. It was us, stuck in the middle, who should actually aspire to learn, either from the grace of our childhood or the unbound wisdom of our elders.

“I know,” I replied, my voice only a little hoarse but I wasn’t fooling anyone, at least if the emphatic sheen in Ahri’s and my mom’s eyes was any indication. “I… I’m not going to exclude you either, but your mom is right. Do you really want to…”

“Yes.” She pointed at Reia, who was looking entirely unconcerned. “She’s not even bothering with a reply because all of you already know what she’s going to say and that’s despite, or maybe because of, everything she’s already lived through. I… we might be young, but we’re no strangers to pain or hardship. We know what we’re bargaining for. I haven’t forgotten what Amon has done and I understand that it’s probably going to become much worse, once your… other family finds us, but I don’t care. And neither does she. I’ll always prefer a world filled with demons to a world without angels.” I was already halfway out of my chair to hug her but my little sister beat me to the punch. Her arms and tails wrapped around the small vampire she looked directly at me as if to say: didn’t I tell you?

A smile turned into a self depreciating grin while I focused on the Brightblaze sisters. “And what about you,” I wanted to know.

“Now that I’m going to retire I wouldn’t mind another adventure,” Serena immediately retorted, “and Emilia has been clamouring about the two of you ever since she met you. I assume you’d have to knock her down to get her out of this room now.” The girl in question nodded enthusiastically, apparently satisfied that the gesture had conveyed everything there was to say. With another sigh I leaned back and twirled the obsidian ring around my finger until I finally took it off and placed it on the table. Their eyes went wide and my mom even breathed: “where did that come from?”

“That’s a long story. Where to begin…”

“When I killed you, probably,” Ahri interjected quietly, the simple statement travelling along our group in a series of shocked, incredulous expressions, my mom being the exception.

“Hmm, as good a time as any. Years ago, around 30, I think, I died… killed by own flesh and blood. My brother pulled the strings. He’s a… his name is Michael and he makes Amon look like an indecisive toddler throwing a tantrum. Back then…” and so I began to explain.

It didn’t even take too long, even though there was quite a bit to tell. By now I had rehashed my past often enough to turn the meandering, convoluted story into a rather concise report. Of course I didn’t share every detail, first of all I still had things to do tonight and I also wasn’t very keen on divulging the aspects I myself was still struggling with. Who I actually was, for example, and the rather ominous connection I shared with Amazeroth, provided the epiphany I had had a minute ago wasn’t a mere fantasy.

While I was talking, Ahri, who already knew the whole conundrum as well as I did, got up and gently but resolutely prevented our hosts and the musicians from edging ever closer. As far as I could tell she didn’t scare them overly much but I also couldn’t spare the concentration to listen in. In the end, I saw her ushering most of them out the door, probably to have them join the rest of Free Land in the Garden, with the exception of the outspoken head waiter, Lavian. He was busying himself behind the bar, preparing a handful of goblets, the contents of which smelled strongly enough of alcohol and lichee juice to make me wrinkle my nose. Still, judging from the incredulous, amazed and sometimes terrified expression around me, the strong beverage was exactly what my audience would need to digest my tale. A true pity I had already had two glasses of wine. I wouldn’t be able to properly try the concoction without getting tipsy. I was still very much a lightweight without my magic.

When I had finally closed my mouth, Ahri sashayed back over to us, her newly acquired, faithful friend trotting after her like a dog on a leash, or maybe that was just me. On second thought he seemed less like an eager puppy and more like an intimidate human. Surprising, really, how those two things could come across as about the same. I just managed to catch myself before I drifted off onto another ludicrous rant about human nature and put my ring back on. The damned thing looked exactly the same, even though it felt slightly heavier, now that I had just gone over parts of its rather bloody history. How many had died, had fallen, in the pursuit of an object I wore as jewellery? The thought was disturbing and I had to suppress a shudder when the cold, unyielding metal touched my skin.

“So,” I added with a lopsided smile, while Ahri settled down at my side and Lavian distributed his liquid presents, “still convinced you’re better off knowing what we are?”

“I never thought so,” Alassara said distractedly, when nobody else spoke up. She raised her goblet in a salute and continued: “but I’m still glad you told us. Bits and pieces I had already figured out, but…” A pinched smile spread across her face. “I might have been a tad more careful manipulating you, if I had known that you had your whole race banding together to get rid of you. Honestly, I’m terrified, but I also feel blessed, considering whom I’m talking to.”

“And we treated you like an animal,” Serena mumbled. She had turned the palest of them all. “I… why didn’t you just… end us?” I chuckled ruefully.

“I never would have but the main reason why I didn’t even care much is your sister. You owe her quite a bit. If she hadn’t been there, I might have left you to die in the streets. Well… probably not, but I’d have been a lot more bitchy afterwards and the two idiots who insulted my brother and me might have suffered a tad more. Incidentally, how are they doing? Do they still see themselves as god’s gift to mankind?” Despite her pallor she managed to grin.

“Not my problem, anymore,” she replied with a sidelong glance at her sister, “why don’t you ask her?”

“You’ve actually walked away, just like that,” I asked incredulously. I knew she had planned to and she had even said something along those lines before but I had never imagined that she’d throw her sister into the deep end form one day to the next.

“More or less. We’re… if you include the church we’re around 300 people. That’s enough to give anyone a headache, but Emilia has been my right hand for the last years and everybody knows her. They even like her, at least more so than me. But I guess she can tell you herself how it’s been going.” The younger Brightblaze was still lost in her thoughts but when Serena gently touched her arm, she jerked back to reality.

“Right. For now it’s not even that much of a change. I… there aren’t that many priests among us and the ones who died in the ritual plus the ones you killed has robbed us of about two thirds. I’m mainly trying to put out fires and reign those back in who are clamouring for revenge, even though they don’t know against whom. That’s something I’d have done anyways. Don’t know if you’ve noticed but my sister isn’t the best when it comes to… let’s call it diplomacy,” she explained with a brave attempt at sounding jovial. Unfortunately her voice was shaking ever so slightly and she just couldn’t keep her eyes away from Ahri and me.

“In a way it’s a stroke of luck. I didn’t have to explain much up until now and when this whole nightmare is dealt with, I can’t imagine that I’ll have to. People are weird like that, but once they’ve gotten used to taking orders, they mostly don’t question why anymore.”