An Angel’s Road to Hell

Cassandra Pendragon

“That’s a long story,” I sighed morosely, the memories of Boseiju’s fiery end rising from the depths like a pale, living nightmare… and with them came a wave of anger, “and not a happy one. I also won’t tell, not right now. You have a right to know… but I don’t care. Where have you been? Why is this the first time I’m ever laying my eyes on you? Do we matter so little to our own elders?” I felt her miss a step, the accusation in my voice as cold as ice. Her reply, though, was calm.

“Careful, Cassandra. I’m not only an elder but also a grieving mother. Don’t make the same mistake you always chastise others for. You know little of me, even less than I know of you.”

“And whose fault is that,” I hissed. “You might have gathered a few glimpses of what I am, while you rummaged through Sylvia’s mind, but, Lady Pendragon, you haven’t even scratched the surface. Excuse me for being blunt, but all I see is a stranger, wearing my fur. A stranger who wasn’t there when our world burned to the ground. If you are here to find an outlet for your guilt and look for someone to punish, I’m more than willing to lead you to the next mirror and leave you there.” My voice hadn’t risen but it didn’t matter, the foreboding resonance behind my words had made her flinch, as if she had been whipped. “Why have you come,” I added quietly. I felt her anger stir through her tightening grip, her self loathing in her halting steps and her insecurity in her short, trembling breaths, but again she managed to remain civil and even chuckle softly.

“I’d warn you not to overestimate the bond between us, but you’ve already made it plenty clear that you neither fear nor respect me. Maybe you don’t need to. Fine, I’ll answer your questions but in return, I want you to answer mine. You wanted to know why I’m here? I’m trying to fill a hole that’s been growing in my chest ever since I’ve left and I’m trying to somehow stop my heart from bleeding out, the wounds I sustained when I saw what has become of my… of our home are just as real to me as they are to you. I might have left, but I’ve never turned my back on our people.”

“And protected us from afar,” I scoffed. To my surprise, she inclined her head.

“Indeed, but if you want to know why and how, you owe me an answer, beforehand. How did my son die?” I halted and felt a tug on my hand when the elderly woman stumbled. I closed my eyes and swallowed my first reply, while I tried to place myself in her shoes. I wasn’t the only one who had been hurt. Through clenched teeth but with a bit more warmth I said:

“The same way he lived. Protecting our tribe with everything he had… what little we’ve left we owe to the dead, to the ones who have given everything they had and more. But… that’s not really what you want to know, is it? I’ve seen Sylvia’s eyes… you know everything she does, you’ve wrung her dry, and I’ve heard you well enough, from the very beginning. You might take my answers personally? You want to know if it is my fault, don’t you?” For the first time she turned around, the illusion flaking away form her eyes while our gazes met. Sparks ignited in the air between us as she whispered:

“Is it?”

“Yes,” I stated simply. “If I hadn’t been born, you would have met your son again, a king with a crown and a country. If it hadn’t been for me, our people would have been safe. That’s my burden to carry and it weighs just as heavily as yours. Why did you leave us?” A myriad of emotions shimmered through the cracking mask she wore. Anger, pity, understanding, pain… and longing.

“Because I had to, otherwise Boseiju would have burned in dragon’s fire, long before you were even born.” The golden tips on her tails! Did she… before my eyes the illusion melted away entirely, leaving behind the very same old woman, but this time, she was real, real enough that not even I could have seen through her. She truly had changed, just like Reia had when she had turned into an eagle, but it didn’t stop there. Another layer of magic poured from her, hiding her from everyone but me, and underneath, her feline grace turned into raging strength as scales appeared along her body, a golden fire igniting within her stormy eyes. For the fraction of a second I saw the outline of an imposing dragoness, much larger than Shafeer had ever been, before it drifted away again, like a hazy dream when the sun rose in the east. “Because our family has more enemies than you know, Cassandra, and I never meant for my children, my grandchildren to suffer for what they are. So I left, convinced that no one would bother looking for us, if I wasn’t there. Apparently I’ve been mistaken. What are you?” I smiled coyly, two could play that game.

My wings manifested and my eyes lit up like stars, the glaring burst of light enough to make everyone around avert their gaze and stumble away, everyone but her. My voice turned into the soft whispers of eternity as I stated: “more. I am your granddaughter, Cassandra Pendragon, but I’m also a creature much older than the dragons we call our ancestors. Oh yes, I know who and what we are… look.” While I had been busy showing off, a golden monstrosity had taken to the sky, her shadow blocking out the sun. “We’ve lost much but we’ve also gained a few things in return. We haven’t been broken, we haven’t fallen into despair and we will survive, we will rebuild. Which makes me wonder… where will you be, this time around?” She stared into my eyes, her mouth open in a silent exclamation. A second passed, then another and when the people around us were already wondering what insanity would befall them next, she smiled. While the winds of Viyara’s passage already tousled our hair, her stern expression melted and I felt her other hand gently enfold mine. Years of hardship seemingly left her features and she exhaled deeply. Without the stern pull on her lips and the tension around her jaw she truly looked like my mortal twin, even though I could already smell a rising tide of molten gold.

“Where I should have been from the start… with my family. I regret so many things, but some I can still make up for. Hello Cassandra, I’m Sera, your grandmother.” Before I could react she let go of my hand only to envelop me in a heartfelt hug. “I’m so very sorry that it has taken death and despair for us to finally meet, but seeing you, seeing all of you before me… it almost makes it worth it. I’ve missed my family and I’m looking forward to getting to know you. That is… if you’ll have me.” I hesitated, but there really wasn’t much of a choice, was there? While Viyara landed close by, scaring away the last, lingering humans, I returned the hug and replied, with only a slight tremor in my voice:

“Of course… hello Sera, or should I rather call you granny?”

“Not if you want to become much older,” she mumbled chokingly, her arms tightening around my neck. “By the Great Fox, I never expected to…” she shook her head, her fluffy ears brushing against my skin. With a suppressed sob she disentangled herself from me and held me at arm’s length, scrutinising my face with an almost intimidating intensity. And then she laughed, a melodious, hopeful sound, like the first rain in spring. “Gods, I don’t mean to sound conceited, but you truly are a sight for sore eyes. I’m sure you’ve heard it often enough, but I can’t even remember when last I saw someone as beautiful as you. And I’ve grown up with quite a few mirrors around.” She wiped her eyes energetically and forced a more cheerful expression on her face. “I still have so many questions, but they can wait. Except for one… where is the rest of my family?” Chuckling softly, I placed my hands on her shoulders and said:

“They’re coming and there might be a few more of them than you expect. The flying furnace over there, for example, is something like your great granddaughter,” she seemed surprised but didn’t interrupted me. Quickly I added: “and… Arthur has married, you already know, but so have I, or at least I’m going to.” Ahri had been listening in the whole time and was now slowly making her way towards us, my mom at her side. I gesticulated in their direction and said: “that’s her and the creature with even more tails than you is my mom, your daughter in law.” Her eyes went wide as she looked towards their approaching figures.

“By the gods, how much have I missed,” she whispered shakily. Much more chipper she added: “I still have to congratulate you… she is astonishing. Are the two of you…?”

“Of the same race,” I completed her question through a growing smile. “In more ways than one. To satisfy your curiosity: we are angels, reborn in the skin of two kitsune. Now, I know that’s not an explanation, but there are more important matters to attend to, aren’t there?”

“Indeed there are…” She lowered herself to the ground, her constructed body vanished entirely and she spread her arms wide, her tails and ears quivering. For the fraction of a second I was confused but when my mom turned into a silver lighting bolt and the two of them fell into an embrace, like mother and daughter, reunited after years apart, I had to blink rapidly, the palpable joy radiating off my mom more than enough to bring tears to my eyes. She deserved it. This and so much more. I could only hope she wouldn’t be disappointment, one way or the other.

Of course I didn’t get a chance to join my family when they retreated into one of the burned out ruins, unwilling to have anyone close by as they sat down for, what I expected to be, a long overdue talk about the past and the present. As curious and, in all honesty, entitled as I felt to being a part of their reunion, there was simply too much I had to deal with. Unfortunately, I couldn’t even postpone most of it. After my boastful proclamations I had to deliver and in essence that meant I had to make sure around 500 slaves, minus the craziest ones who actually wanted to return to their masters, would have a place to sleep, once the sun was going to set, and a chance to fill their bellies, once it was going to rise again. And preferably not stab one another or someone else in the meantime.

Getting them to listen hadn’t been overly challenging, hardly surprising after my numerous and intimidating outbursts, but actually organising the lot of them… I had thought providing enough food for the town’s little get together had been a chore, but let me tell you, trying to provide accommodations for people too shy to speak their mind while a veritable flood of curious strangers were bustling around us, eager to listen in without incurring my wrath, was something else. Luckily I wasn’t alone. In the beginning I had thought Alassara would prove to be my biggest boon but in reality it was the good Madame Sinis and her girls who gave the whole endeavour a chance to succeed. Them and the smelly, underfed, grumpy and slightly miffed pirates, whom the dwarfs had finally released form the brig. In all honesty, I hadn’t even thought of them for quite a while but when Clovis, the seasoned veteran who had surrendered to us, walked up to me, grimacing like a noblewoman in the sewers, I was more than glad to see him. Truth be told, if Ahri hadn’t stayed by my side through it all, I would already have lost my mind at that point.

“One of the short, hairy monsters told us to go looking for you,” he rumbled without preamble or a handshake. “Not that we’ve seen much of you lot, lately, but considering how we’ve met, I assume we should be thankful that you didn’t leave us to starve. So… we’ve been brought up to speed, already. What can we do to help?” I eyed him shyly, torn between a bad conscience and quite a bit of relief at the sight of the stringy haired seaman. Fortunately I didn’t have to puzzle over whether or not to apologise, his brusque manner and the chaotic noise around us rendered any form of lengthy conversation mute and judging from his the devil may care attitude, it wouldn’t have been welcome, either way.

“Several things, actually,” I replied and inadvertently leaned into Ahri, the smell of pine trees taking the edge off the olfactory assault I was subjected to. And I didn’t only mean my newest partners in crime. I had been suffering quietly ever since the garden had begun to fill up. The aroma of cherry trees and fresh herbs could only cover up that much. Not to mention the damned noise. Hopefully the elves would turn out to be quieter and more appreciative of regular baths. “For now, we’ve to make sure everyone will have a place to sleep, come nightfall, and something more to eat than a few cherries in the morning. Look, over there, the girls you see, who are talking to the slaves, they’re trying to get them to move out of the way and prepare spots for the night. Some of the dwarfs are out and about, buying every piece of bread and every bottle of ale they can get their hands on while the ones you see in the crowd are trying to clear the area. Sooner or later we’ll have to get them all together again, but it’s been more than enough for a day and everything else can wait until the morrow. Take your pick. You’ll probably be the most useful helping the girls out, but if you prefer to go with the dwarfs or even join Alassara, the tall blonde over there, be my guest. She’s talking to Nightshade and Brightblaze, trying to convince them to help us organise a different form of leadership… you know, scratch that. I don’t think there’s much you could do to help her.”

He slowly spun on the spot, taking in the chaotic scene. With a gruff nod he whirled around and said over his shoulder: “we’ll stick with the girls. They seem like they could use someone to hand out a few clouts when it becomes necessary. Something comes up, just cry out for us. Even though… if you’re in over your head we probably won’t be of much use.” With his last, ominous words still lingering in the air he marched off. I stared after him and sighed.

“Did I bite off more than I can chew,” I mumbled without expecting a reply but Ahri still answered with a soft chuckle:

“Which part exactly? Freeing an enslaved army, turning Free Land into a magical city, usurping the Captains, finding a way to keep Amon out of everybody’s minds, trying to lay the groundwork for the election of a mayor, reconnecting with your grandma or integrating the feared and almost forgotten vampires, who’ll probably turn the most renowned brothel in the city into a monastery or a mercenary guild, into human society? Or is it the mere fact that you only have two, maybe three days left, if we’re being generous? I’m not entirely sure what your referring to, darling.” I felt a frown form on my face, but then I joined in her mirth and added, with a self deprecating grin:

“All of the above… also, don’t forget the promise… or rather assurance I gave to Will, Vanya and our fey. I’ll have to make time for them tomorrow. And then, there’s also Reia and her friends, whom we should at least talk to, if we don’t find the time to train them, the veritable mountain of memory crystals I need to go through and the long overdue conversation I, or rather we, need to have with our elves, considering we’ll be in their capital in less than 96 hours. Oh… it would probably also be advisable to have Alassara show us the portals, she and her brother mentioned multiple times, and figure out how close to the Emerald Island they can actually get us. I’d rather not appear in a locked cellar, stark naked, if past experiences are anything to go by. And then there’s the whole trifle with Pete and his band of brigands. But that’s about it. Oh, wait, we also have to collect our armours, sooner rather than later. They should be finished by now, shouldn’t they?” She shook her magnificent head and kissed my forehead, still smiling brightly.

“I’ll also want you to make some time for me, every night… it’s a good thing you don’t need to sleep, anymore. I can’t imagine how you’re going to pull through, but I’m sure you’ll find a way.” She closed her eyes coquettishly and added sweetly: “do wake me when you’re done, will you?”