An Age of Mysterious Memories

B 2 C 34: Guess Who's Back?

Mataalii grows more sullen and distant by the day. That doesn’t bother me so much. What truly bothers me deeply to my core is Lil also shuts us all off from hypertime thinkspace, even Luni. I don’t see Lil ever with Mat, so I don’t think Mat’s controlling Lil or feeding them lies, but I don’t know how to repair the bonds we share.

Even if our injuries don’t heal as near-instantly as they used to, I’m glad healing doesn’t happen the way my memories say it should. Every single one of Teuila’s bones below her hips were pulverized. They must have already been fractured pretty badly when she took us all from Fire Biome back home when I was bleeding out from the Cragbeast Queen’s wireframe. She hid that pain from us, thinking it was a minor inconvenience that would heal quickly enough. It’s probably a part of why she looked so lost and in pain at the falls when I’d found her, when our bodies expelled the corrupted radiant vitality.

When we went to the dam to hash things out with the MCF, Teuila’s legs had to have just started mending from those fractures. I bet she figured that we would be fine. It would be nothing we couldn’t handle together. She probably wouldn’t even need to risk further injury. Then Lil was dying, and I selfishly asked her for all of her speed. Te, without a second thought for her own hellish pain that she knew she’d rack up, took us where we needed to be faster than we’d ever moved before. Then I once again selfishly asked her to leave me behind and to use all that speed again. The return trip, I knew about her legs, that’s when I was a horrible friend, partner, anything. Worse, Teuila wanted me to be the person she brought back to our friends, not some nearly-hostile naga woman we’d only just met. Still, Teuila frequently absolves me of this, when she and I share time in thinkspace.

Sighing, I gaze around at the progress we’ve made. Between Sugar and Spice, our settlement is starting to look like a town, rather than a vacation home. Our pond is being expanded. Hopefully that means that the fish spawns might also increase someday in case we need to accommodate more family or friends. We’ve set up guard rails, and even a little diving dock. Teuila is itching to use the diving dock. It’s driving her mad with desire. Sadly, at the moment Teuila has to only swim slowly while her legs recuperate. In my memories, bones don’t regrow like this, hell, limbs don’t stay together when bones have been blown to pieces and nearly atomized. Yet here is Teuila, following a rehabilitation plan that Lao, Te, and I have agreed upon, racing herself to recovery.

The shop is almost complete, as are the separate types of storage sheds, and the communal housing. Luni’s excitement for opening the shop is adorable beyond all reason. We’re not going to have any customers for a long long time. We need to find other people in the world, and make our presence known in a friendly manner to ever have customers.

Still, I’m watching Sugar and Spice put the last touches on the shop at the moment. Their construction skills feel vaguely magical. In fact, now that the last beams,shelves, and doors are in place, I could swear I saw a pair of sparkles spiral up the building like a DNA helix. Lu giddily claps her hands together and dashes in, to stand at the other side of the counter.

Practicing her greeting, Lu asks, “Well hello there beautiful customer, what can I get for you?”

I chuckle as I respond, “An apple would sure be nice Lu.”

I notice something shift in my inventory, the currency that I’ve never kept track of diminishes ever so slightly. Luni and I gaze as an apple does the opposite of derezzing on the countertop. I guess it would be called rezzing? Polygons appear as if from nowhere, and form an apple. Lu tries to snatch it to check it out, but her hand passes through it. When my hand grabs it, it’s a solid, firm, juicy apple.

Both of us are gazing back and forth between the apple and each other, stunned. I bring the apple questioningly to my mouth, attempting to consume it, and it doesn’t disappear like food normally does. Curiously, I sink my teeth into it, and I’m treated to the heavenly splash of juice as I actually manually consume something for the first time in my life. A delicious apple no less. The fruit’s flesh beneath the skin is just the perfect crispness, and no seed or core blocks me from consuming the entire thing save the stem.

Luni runs around to the front after watching me zealously consume the apple, exclaiming, “Let me try! Shop? An apple sure would be nice. Um, pretty please?”

Nothing happens in response to Luni’s request, so she pouts. I’ve got a sneaking suspicion though on what needs to happen. I call out to Teuila telepathically to ask if she’s okay to be held for a bit as an experiment. Te sends back a mixture of emotions but mostly a sort of fine whatever expression.

I make a request of Luni, “Lu, could you go back behind the counter for a moment? Let me grab Teuila. I need to confirm a few things.” As Lu heads back behind the counter, I scurry off to help Teuila out of the pond. Well, Shellcracker Pond is almost Shellcracker Lake at this point, as we’ve been expanding it. Not sure when it will reach official distinction. Teuila bops me in the nose for my distracted chain of thought, since I interrupted her rehabilitation swimming time.

I try to explain to Teuila my thoughts, “Right, right, sorry, when we get there, you have some of the currency from the cragbeasts in your inventory right? When we get there, ask Lu for something simple, like an apple.”

As we approach, Lu teases, “Oh greetings fair customer, carried aloft by whom you are so smitten, is your heart all aflutter on this fine day? You make a lovely couple, a pair that should enjoy my fine wares, don’t you think?”

Teuila’s blush virtually steams from her cheeks and ears as she grumbles, “Luuuuuuu, knock it off. I would like one apple please. To stuff in your mouth to shut you up. Maybe a cloth binding to gag you with to go with it.”

I try to stifle my laughter, because I don’t want to make light of Teuila’s discomfort. Suddenly, two objects begin rezzing atop the counter, Lu looks down in shock. Then she looks at Teuila who happens to be grinning deviously. Lu takes off like a rocket when Teuila picks up the cloth gag and the apple, while Te cackles. Teuila would love to give chase, but her legs are still pretty much mush.

After we’ve laughed for a bit, I reach out telepathically to Luni, “Lu, come on back, you know she can’t even chase you. It’s your turn. I’ll stand behind the counter.”

Luni returns, giddily clapping, awaiting her turn. While holding Teuila across my arms still, I announce, “Welcome traveler to our fine shop, how may I serve you today?”

Lu virtually squeals, “An apple, please, I’d like an apple!”

My suspicions are correct, but something I didn’t suspect is somewhat disappointing. As the apple begins to rez into reality, it’s malformed, lumpy, bruised, possibly a bit pre-eaten. This requires a bit of further study. Luni looks heartbroken and crestfallen that she got such an underwhelming apple. She actually takes it and buries it behind a shed. I chuckle at the symbolism.

Still, I gather as many of my family as I can that are willing right now. I have each stand behind the counter in turn, and purchase an apple from each of them. Far and away the best produce is when purchasing from Luni. Lao and Spice are close seconds. Agwai and Sugar are not far behind, Teuila a bit behind them. My goods are downright awful. Well, it doesn’t seem to be related to the duende score, or Lil and I would sell perfect produce.

I sigh, thinking about Lil who has been spending the better part of several days staring at the waterfall, alone. Lil will come back to us, whatever convinced them to say those things, it wasn’t Lil. Anyway, I wonder if there’s an interface for this shop.

Sure enough, after digging through our mind’s eyes, we each find a shop, its selection, prices, and qualities change with who stands behind the counter.

With Spice behind the counter, I greedily purchase as much vellum, paper, leather book binding, writing implements, and art supplies as I can. I present the majority of these to Spice, and his eyes sparkle like diamonds with joy upon receiving them.

Spice and I have private talks on occasion. I’ve had some magical help through my trauma, including actually being burned alive from the inside out by a phoenix, which might have caused me to be reborn. I’ve also had years more time to tackle my trauma due to the hypertime my inner circle can participate in.

I make sure to shut off my log during our private meetings, so that no one else can read Spice’s secrets, his fears, his traumas. His sister occasionally sits with us, and she shares her part in the tale. She also regularly threatens to gut me, saying, “If you ever spill Spice’s beans, I’ll spill your guts.” It’s hilarious, adorable, and terrifying to have Sugar go from supportive aid during talks, to overprotective beast with murderous intent.

Still, we can also sell things directly to the store, which generates currency. We can finally get rid of all the extra copies of certain evolved equipment if we need to. It seems to disappear after sale, but I’m not in need of cash yet, nor am I willing to risk that they teleport somewhere for someone else to use.

Those of us that have some currency from our adventures, and an inventory, are able to purchase from the store, which doesn’t leave many of us. Still, I’m fishing for bags for Lao and Ag as frequently as I can, and when they have enough, I unload hundreds of units of gemstones, as well as mass amounts of currency, in case they ever need anything from the shop while our inner circle is away.

For my part, I mostly buy raw materials that will help out, or pieces of equipment that we have no way to make yet. I buy actual bandage cloth for bandages, aloe and balms and disinfectant for those bandages, splints with braces, anything that might work medically in my memories. I make sure my family has all such goods on hand. I also make sure Sugar and Spice have nails and screws, in case their fastening magic stops functioning for some reason. I’m able to buy glass bottles, so I make tons of water walking potions, and finally increase my alchemy skill at a decent rate.

There are some furnishings that are pretty expensive, I’m not even sure I want them to exist yet. There’s a forge with billows, a massive anvil, a smelting furnace, things like that. I don’t know if our family needs to have metallurgy or be in the metal age.

Agwai was able to find a single squeaky rubber ducky tucked away somewhere deep in the interface. It boggles my mind that it exists. Rubber, squeaky toy, what? Of course Agwai uses it to play with Lucky. Including when Lao is trying to train Lucky to help family members with tasks, much to her chagrin. Back when I’d first met Agwai, when they were so solemn in the swamp, I’d never have imagined them to be a playful goof, a storytelling trickster, or just, just so fun in general. Grief and the pressure of leadership had really forced Agwai to be completely different from their true self. I’m so happy they’ve got a peaceful place to be themselves.

Luni, Teuila and I take turns in various speeds of accelerated thinkspace with different partners, or sometimes our whole trio. We’ve had several more years of life together. Life I wish I could have shared with my oldest companion. I also wish it was life I could share with Penina, Atamai, Iakopo, and Taito, but we’ve had no new eggs randomly resurrect a family member yet.

One night, we can vaguely see shooting stars through the canopy, and I’d swear one had an impact trajectory with the base of the falls. Worried for Lil, I make a break for the falls, dropping everything I was in the middle of, including dinner with the family. I don’t care if I look like an idiot dashing towards Lil. I’ll look like a jerk if they’re okay, but that doesn’t matter.

Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay. I don’t care if you hate me, just please be okay. I try to reach out to Lil telepathically, but of course there’s a mental wall between us at best, or at worst, Lil is hurt. My pulse races as do I, towards the waterfall.

I can hardly catch my breath, even if the physical activity is hardly exertion at this point in my life. I finally spot Lil, an actual lump on their forehead, their eyes spinning spirals. There’s the faintest, tiniest hint of a red glow within Lil's spiraling eyes.

I cry with an impotent fury, “No, No! You can’t have Lil! You can’t! You will never, ever take Lil!” I know there’s nothing I can do though, anything I might be able to do would just hurt Lil.

As my fury rages, and my mind begins to lose its tether to reality again, for the first time in quite a while, my FFS activates so hard that it flash freezes the river. It continues to freeze the falls as high as halfway up the cliff. Several nearby trees make gross cracking noises as they’re coated in a layer of frost. I, I can’t. I can’t do anything. I have no target for my wrath.

I plea towards Lil, hoping beyond hope that they’re not so hostile to me that they’ve been claimed. Hoping even more that this intrusion into their psyche is why they acted the way they did. Even though Lil looks unconscious, like the time they were knocked skyward by Vampguppy so early in our relationship, I can only plead with them.

Begging Lil, I ask them to remember, “Lil, your name is Lilagni, but we call you Lil because it’s short and cute like you. I was scared of you, even though I found you adorable. You wanted to fish me out of the drink the first time you ever evolved, but you left me alone for so long on my own. I missed you but when you finally woke up, we were right back to being besties. We went through so much together.”

I gulp back a sob as I continue, “We met Luna for the first time, you scared her off with your flames and flight. We fought off bullies, and I ran from that darn serpent. We invented snuggling clay-fired dugouts. We met our new family together, the family that holds the two most dear to both of us, other than each other. We survived hell and high water on the Night of High Water. Evil toothy boxes, energy thieves, the serpent over and over. You spent months, maybe years with Lu when I was recovering from the Night of High Water. You forgave me, I think, I hope, for being gone so long after the Night of High Water, and again after the events at the dam.”

I also recall, “At the end of the Night of High Water, you risked yourself for both me and Lu. You said you screwed up, but you didn’t, you gave us an eternal bond. Please, please come back to me buddy. Please don’t give up on us. Even if you hate me, please come back to Te and Lu, they didn’t hurt you like I did. I’ll understand if you never forgive me, but please come back to them. You’re so important to all of us.”

Lil coughs, their lips waver and wobble, well, what can be called lips on a dragon sphere face. Suddenly Lil is crying, and two tiny motes of red flush out with Lil’s tears. Lil wails, “Don’t, don’t, don’t look at me. I can’t believe, I can’t believe I said those things. I know it was me, I heard me say it, but I’d never say those things, those weren’t even my words. Those weren’t my words. How can you be here, begging me to come back, when, when all I want buddy, is for you to forgive me.”

I whimper, gulping back sobs of my own, trying to stay strong to get my point across, “Oh Lil, Lil buddy, I never held it against you. I did mess up badly that day, I deserve any anger anyone has at me for it. I love you, you’re my heart. You give me strength and purpose. You keep me beating the odds. You keep me full of adrenaline and love. Did, did you know that I met a phoenix, trying to bring you back to us? They were mysterious, and wonderful, and I think they might live near a mighty dragon. Creatures in the area were dropping dragon scales.”

Lil turns harder inwards on themselves, bawling their eyes out. They scuttle and slither around, unsure where to go, my heart aches that I can’t comfort them, unless. Yeah, screw it, they can hate me for it if they need to. I dive and tackle Lil into a hug, I’d lose Lil just to comfort a smidge of the ache I see them experiencing at the moment.

What did Teuila say once? She’d give up everything, if only for my good? I’d give up Lil, for Lil’s happiness. Lil starts butting into my chest, I make sure it’s bare, and they growl, and chomp, and cry. They don’t hurt me in the slightest though. They could tear my chest open, their fangs and maw are strong enough.

I feel a wall shattering somewhere, I’m terrified it’s one of us derezzing, but I see no signs of either of us, or anyone derezzing. Eventually, Lil assails my mind with pleas of forgiveness. I realize after a while what wall shattered. Lil has finally opened their mind to us. Lil has come back to us. I pour every ounce of love and forgiveness I can muster into our bond. How can I ever express enough? You don’t need forgiveness Lil, but you are forgiven.

Lil’s form begins to attract creamy gray polygons as it elongates. At first, I worry Lil is engaging their form change to fly away, our reconciliation unfinished. But Lil remains, and Lil’s Lilagnewt form stabilizes, leaving silhouette and becoming something new. Lil’s Lilagnewt form looks simultaneously less impressive, yet more regal and imposing. Their eyes are a creamy green, as is their soft, rubbery dorsal ridge. They sport a hairstyle similar to Teuila’s, which is really odd for a reptile. Lil seems a bit more compact, not quite as massive as the last time I’d seen Lilagnewt fully manifested, but their muscles are far more defined. Their scales are slightly harder, and their wings are less soft fleshy leathery newt wings, more draconic ribbed taloned wings. Lil’s face is simultaneously goofy, and imposing. They have a bit of an underbite, and vertical standing tusks.

Lil rides my mental wavelength, hearing my description, and exclaims, “Whaaaaaaaaaa? Let me see, let me see? Ahhhh you froze all the water, I can’t see myself in it, it’s all white. Pal, pal, pal, can I look through your eyes, please, please, can I, please? I wanna see mega bad, mega mega mega bad.”

My heart soars as it mends while I chuckle and nod. There’s an odd sensation, a not-uncomfortable pressure just above my eyes, and I can tell Lil is appraising themself through my senses. I hug this wonderful dragon’s face, laughing away the tears, the sorrow at the loss of my best and oldest friend. None of what transpired mattered, it’s as good as not having happened at all. I’ve got my Lil buddy back.

Lil leaves my senses to begin exploring their form. I think this time I’m going to have Lil train physically with me and Teuila. We’ve got a lot to catch up on, emotionally, mentally, physically.

Hm, the chunk of shooting star that beaned Lil and knocked them out is at my feet. That’s a crazy coincidence. I’m definitely going to call it a lucky starmetal rock, or starmetal luckrock. While I’m distracted by claiming the starmetal luckrock, Lil swoops in from high and to my side, divebomb tackling me into a hug. I can feel their trepidation as they let loose their hold on their form, so I make sure to squeeze Lil tightly in comfort, in case we can’t get it back right away.

When we reunite with the rest of the family we welcome Lil back with open arms as if it’s like Lil never left, but also like we appreciate them more than ever before. We spend months building up our settlement, training, rehabilitating Teuila, learning to access our new creamy gray semi-umbral evolution forms. During that time, we spend years and years together in thinkspace, forging a bond stronger than ever. We’ve probably each spent around a quarter of a century together easily, and several decades in groups as either trios or our whole quad as well. If we could have gotten Lil back like this, I’d have been fine waiting.

We couldn’t though, so I’m glad I went through one last solo adventure to get Lil back. Hopefully I never have to do it again. Teuila’s trying her hardest to recover while also making progress in her training as she always does. She wants just as badly as I do, for me to never go on another solo adventure.

By the time Teuila is back to one hundred percent, or, as she says, one hundred plus one hundred plus one hundred, plus she doesn’t know, ultra, percent. By that time, we’ve spent nearly a century together in accelerated time. If it weren’t for having separate logs, I don’t think my brain could hold all the memories we make day by day.

All this time, I never thought to go much farther east along the waterfall, because of my trauma. When I finally start to bring up the idea, Luni diverts me, so it must be important that I don’t know it yet. Instead, perhaps our next adventure will take us directly west until we hit the shoreline.